Beef Jerky in a Strawberry-Banana Shake

User Rating: 5 | Gunpoint PC
Something about fat people. I mean, there's nothing wrong with them, obviously. But when you become close friends with them they sort of try to get you to eat the junk they're eating. Not like they're not trying to be anything but nice or anything, they just don't realize that you don't eat that sort of stuff. And certain times I'm game. Let's get two large supreme pizzas. Then when the pizza comes I realize my chubby buddy has also poured me some coke into a cup the size of the trophy NHL players get when they win the championship. It's like...Woah dude. The hardest thing is when you see them overdoing it to themselves, like having 5 sodas in one day. You want to tell them what they're doing is unhealthy but you don't want to be a wanker about it at the same time.

Gunpoint isn't a fat person. It's just a game that begins by giving the ability to fall four stories and not be injured. Well, that and being able to electrically re-wire a building from the outside, which is an ability that absolutely makes no sense at all. Seriously. I mean I know we're talking about a video game here, and I've stretched my imagination for some bizarre stuff in the past, for some reason though the silliness of being able to stand outside a building scratching your balls and somehow still be able to magically re-wire the electrical layout of the building your about to infiltrate seems ridiculous. What makes matters worse is once you step inside and sneak up behind a security guard, you then beat there face into the ground like you're playing Hotline Miami. It's like throwing a pillow over your younger brothers face on the couch then sitting on it for like 20 minutes.

While I "get" that these abilities are all used for the sake of solving puzzles, my problem is exactly that: Abilities are contrived for the sake of solving puzzles. These abilities also have RPG elements in them and it's almost like developers couldn't stop throwing in RPG elements into their games if their life depended on it. Which brings me to my next point.

Western indie developers are starting to make games that all look and play alike. Maybe this has always been going on, I don't know. I don;t know what color underpants I'm wearing right now. But I think maybe the more important thing (besides the color of my undies) is that Indie developers suffer from what I'm going to call "The Spotlight Craze." Where they want their game to standout and likewise be recognized. Like big budgeted AAA games, Indie games are doing this silly "movie-like intro" thing to their games. The developers names are listed one by one, then the title screen appears like your watching Avatar.

What I'm getting at with the previous assortment of letters is that many Indie developers think of the "game" over the "gamer." They think puzzles over anything else because most of them couldn't tell you how to just make a purely "fun" experience. Not to say Gunpoint is the worst thing in the world. For those gamers just looking to do some whacky puzzle solving, probably will have fun with Gunpoint, even if the mechanics make no sense. Nothing makes sense anymore. I'll put beef jerky in that strawberry banana shake. I'll buy the underage kids waiting outside of the supermarket some booze. I'll punch a goat int he nuts for 5 bucks.

Levels are generated one after another. POOF! Here's the next building(s) with some guards and computers and cameras arranged in different ways. POOF! Here they are again but there's more of them this time. Have a good time wrapping your head around this one, Johnny!

You know that feeling between playing a game that reminds you of actually playing a video game and playing a game made by some person for a computer science project? Well, let's just say Gunpoint falls closer towards the latter. It's obviously a video game but you're going to still question that from time to time anyways.