The Craziest WWE Survivor Series PPV Teamups
The first five Survivor Series PPVs hewed close to the stated theme: 5-on-5 or 4-on-4 Elimination matches, which would often be 20 minutes or more in length. But the sixth Survivor Series PPV, in 1992, had a single Survivor Series match; the rest were single or tag matches, like any other PPV. WWE even planned to change the name of the PPV in 2010; they only kept it due to fan outcry.
The fact is, it's difficult to make these types of matches narratively coherent; there are just too many wrestlers involved for each of them to have a personal stake in the outcome. That's why last year and this year's Survivor Series, which book everything as a Raw vs. Smackdown contest, work so well. There doesn't need to be personal issues at play, just straightforward "brand supremacy" contest. The fans get dream matches (like the upcoming rematch between AJ Styles and Brock Lesnar), and they don't disrupt the single-brand storylines for an entire month..
When Survivor Series is booked haphazardly, you get weird teams like the ones in this gallery. Why are they friends? Why should we care? Don't worry about any of that, and don't overthink it. Here are eight of the weirdest WWE Survivor Series team-ups of all time.
If you liked this gallery, check out the most shocking moments in Survivor Series history, check out the match card for the upcoming Survivor Series PPV, and be sure to visit Gamespot on Sunday, November 18, when we will cover the entire event live.
8. Team Out-of-Shape (1996)
(Yokozuna, Flash Funk, Jimmy Snuka, Savio Vega)
Former WWE Champion Yokozuna was always big. But during his second WWE run from 1995-1996, his weight spiraled out of control. His match at the 1996 Survivor Series was his final one with the company; he was sent home to lose weight afterwards, but he could not lose enough to get cleared by doctors, and was eventually fired.
Yoko spent most of his final match camped on the apron. And his teammates, Savio Vega, Flash Funk (2 Cold Scorpio, in a criminally bad pimp gimmick), and an over-the-hill Jimmy Snuka didn't help matters against the team of Vader, Farooq, Fake Razor Ramon, and Fake Diesel. The match ended in a no contest, and it should have ended much sooner.
7. The World's Largest Athlete Destroys His Useless Team (1999)
(The Big Show, The Blue Meanie, Taka Michinoku and Sho Funaki)
The Big Show had a big axe to grind against the Big Bossman; at a memorable low point, Bossman crashed Show's father's funeral and dragged his casket around by a chain.
So when Big Show had to take on Bossman's team at the 1999 Survivor Series, he decided (rightly!) that his ragtag teammates, Blue Meanie, Taka, and Funaki, would only get in the way. So he beat the hell out of them in the locker room, and then proceeded to win his Survivor Series match by himself, defeating Bossman, Albert, Viscera, and Mideon in under a minute-and-a-half. It was weird for sure, but it was also kind of awesome.
And Show wasn't done. In the main event of the evening's show, he defeated Triple H and The Rock to become WWE champion. How's that for a day's work?
6. The Best of America? (1997)
(Vader, Goldust, Steve Blackman, Marc Mero)
"Vader, the team you've assembled here doesn't seem to have a common thread!" Michael Cole stated the obvious and then shoved the microphone in front of a speechless Vader, who took a moment to collect himself before admitting, yeah, true.
Vader, Goldust, Blackman, and Mero had no personal reasons to team up, but they were thrown together as Team USA to take on Team Canada (The British Bulldog, Doug Furnas, Jim Neidhart and Phil Lafon). They lost after Goldust walked out on his teammates, to the delight of the Montreal crowd.
5. The British Bulldog Joins The Greenwich Posse (1999)
(Davey Boy Smith, Pete Gas, Rodney, and Joey Abs)
The British Bulldog plus Shane McMahon's three prep school friends (two of whom could not wrestle) was not a good idea, even on paper. Davey Boy looked irritated, both in real life and in storyline. This was also during Bulldog's weird blue jeans phase, which was probably extremely uncomfortable; the guy's quads were the size of canned hams.
This match wasn't even funny as a goof, and the crowd didn't care about any of it. Val Venis, Mark Henry, Steve Blackman, and Gangrel completely outclassed their competition, destroying the Posse before finally taking out the British Bulldog in a lopsided fight.
4. The Royal Embarrassment (1994)
(Jerry "The King" Lawler, Queasy, Sleazy, Cheesy)
There is probably a way to incorporate little people into WWE without making it demeaning, corny, and humiliating for both the viewers and the performers. But this sure isn't it.
Lawler and three little people dressed like kings took on Doink and three little people dressed like clowns. And of course, Creative had the bright idea to name them like Snow White rejects; the kings were Sleazy, Queasy, and Cheesy, and the clowns were Dink, Wink, and Pink. You know. Humor!
If you ever needed a reminder that despite all the corporate sheen, WWE chairman Vince McMahon is a unapologetic carny, this is it.
3. A Knight To Forget (1993)
(Shawn Michaels, The Black Knight, The Red Knight, and The Blue Knight)
The match between the Hart Family and Team Lawler at the 1993 Survivor Series would have been a high point in a storyline that carried on for years, in which Lawler harassed Bret, his mother, and his father, often times while they were sitting in the stands.
But then, things went pear-shaped. From Bret's memoir Hitman:
"In mid-November, I heard that Vince finally had been indicted by the Feds. Then the WWF took another hit when Jerry Lawler was charged with having sex with an underaged girl. My entire Survivor Series match was centered around Lawler and his constant jabs at my family; without him, the match would mean nothing. Lawler was hastily edited out of the weekend TV show, with no explanation given to the fans, and Shawn was thrown in to replace him at Survivor Series."
That's why we got Shawn Michaels and his masked, anonymous Knights, who were handily disposed of by Bret, Bruce, Keith, and Owen Hart, and then never mentioned again.
2. Team Gross (1993)
(Bam Bam Bigelow, Bastion Booger, Fatu and Samu)
To take on Doink, who had been harassing Bam Bam in his workplace for weeks (which would probably make Bam Bam a sympathetic face these days), Bigelow put together a team of gross ne'er do wells: Bastion Booger, whose entire gimmick was to be fat, burp, and fart, and The Headshrinkers, who were portrayed as complete savages, because WWE was a bastion of progressiveness in 1993.
They came to the ring eating whole chickens with their mouths open, screaming and spitting at the camera, unified only by the audience's disgust. But the best was yet to come…
1. The Four Doinks (1993)
(Luke Doink, Butch Doink, Mabel Doink, Mo Doink)
WWE decided that the best way to book this match between Bigelow and Doink was to have Doink, incomprehensibly, sit it out. Instead of Doink and three other guys, it was the Bushwhackers (Luke and Butch) and Men on a Mission (Mabel and Mo) in clown makeup.
The match was a gimmicky mess; the Doinks took out the Headshrinkers by having one of them bite into a poisoned water balloon and having the other slip on a banana peel. But it was fun at the time in a 'so bad it's good sort of way,' even if it doesn't hold up to repeated viewings.
And that's the best way to to enjoy the 'weirdest' WWE matches. Turn your brain off, embrace Vince McMahon's terrible sense of humor, and remember that pro wrestling's roots are in the traveling circuses. It doesn't all need to be taken seriously.