Nintendo Switch Sports Minigames Ranked By How Likely They'll Make You Break Something Expensive
Nintendo Switch Sports offers an updated take on some of the classic minigames available in the original Wii Sports from 2006, including bowling, tennis, and--after an update releasing later this year--golf. But what you may have forgotten from that glorious time so long ago is that Wii Sports resulted in more than a few people accidentally hurting themselves or breaking something expensive in their home. User error, poor item placement, or a failed wrist strap could all cause something very expensive to be totally destroyed by a flying controller.
We expect that could begin happening again, so here are the Nintendo Switch Sports games ranked by how likely they are to make you break something--and what that something will be.
In badminton, you're going to be swinging--both underhand and overhand--your Joy-Con controller, and you'll likely be fairly close to the TV when you do it. So why does the game come in at the bottom spot on our list? Well, because you can also play tennis, and that means you're probably never going to even try badminton. Be honest with yourself. But, if you do decide to play it, just what will you break?
Broken item: Picture frame you were already going to get rid of
Oh. Well. That's not that bad.
Volleyball is a sport all about timing, positioning, and spiking the ball into the ground at supersonic speeds whenever the other team makes a mistake. Look, you know you're going to get overexcited when you see an opportunity to deliver that finishing blow, and those Joy-Con controls can get pretty slippery after you've worked up a little sweat. Anything below knee-level has a chance of being blasted by a rogue controller.
Broken item: The PS5 you have positioned next to the Nintendo Switch in your entertainment center
It took you a year of failed attempts and refreshing Walmart apps on your phone and computer at the same time to get it, too.
In the standard soccer mode for Nintendo Switch Sports, there's basically no chance of breaking anything in your home--at least at launch--as it uses button controls. However, the game will also allow you to use the Leg Strap accessory in the Shoot-Out mode, making you physically kick the virtual ball. As you can imagine, if you don't have enough room, that's just asking for trouble.
Broken item: The glass coffee table, shattered all over the carpet
No matter how much you vacuum, you'll never be able to get every shard out of the fibers.
Perhaps the best of the original Wii Sports games, bowling is also one of the riskiest to play if you're close to your TV. You are hurling a virtual bowling ball toward the pins, and if you don't have the wrist strap on and you accidentally let go, you can easily cause some major damage. But, of course, you always wear the wrist strap… right?
Broken item: Brand-new TV
8K OLED, incredible contrast. Just decimated.
Swinging your Joy-Con back and forth vigorously as you face a much better opponent, trying to fend off an assault of backhands and lobs? Tennis is always a challenge, and if you're getting particularly invested in a match, you could very well break something important in your room. Please, just wear the strap. It will save you so much heartache.
Broken item: Grandma's urn
Oh… oh no. She hated tennis.
Coming to the game via a free update this fall, Nintendo Switch Sports' golf should be one of its best minigames, if the Wii original is anything to go by. As you'll be swinging the Joy-Con like a golf club, it's also one of the most likely to cause damage to something very expensive. And this time, you're really not going to be happy about it.
Broken item: Brand-new TV. Again.
You didn't even throw out the box yet. What did you do to deserve this?
Is it a sport or is it a brutal test of your combat abilities? The fencing-like chambara is included in Nintendo Switch Sports, and you'll have to swing a sword as you knock your opponent back and into the abyss. In reality, of course, you're just swinging a plastic controller in your living room, but things can get really intense in a hurry.
Broken item: Your little brother.
How did he end up with a Joy-Con in his eye? No clue.