F9 And Every Other Fast & Furious Movie Ranked By How Awesome Its Title Is
There's a new Fast & Furious movie coming to theaters this year, kind of. Dwayne Johnson and Jason Statham have their own spin-off with the curious title Fast & Furious Presents: Hobbs & Shaw. That got me thinking about the rest of the franchise and some of the ridiculous names it puts to work.
With eight other movies and even a couple of theme park attractions, the Fast & Furious series doesn't exactly follow the rules of what to call sequels. It pretty regularly swings for the creative fences. Sometimes it's a home run. Other times, though, it's just plain bad.
How bad, you wonder? I'm glad you asked. Given my self-proclaimed status as the foremost Fast & Furious franchise expert on this planet, I've deeply examined the catalog of films in the series and ranked the titles myself. So join me, family, as we look at every Fast & Furious movie title, ranked from worst to best--with a couple of surprises along the way.
12. Fast & Furious 6
This one's just boring. With a franchise full of cool titles, you have to do better than just slapping a number on the end. This is a series of films that likes to get creative with its naming, but this one just lacks all of that creativity, which is a bummer given how great the movie is.
What's more, it's not even the sixth Fast & Furious. It's the sixth movie in the series, but only the second "Fast & Furious," which was the name of the fourth movie.
12. The Fast and the Furious: Extreme Close-Up
What's this? The long-awaited Fast & Furious crossover with Wayne's World? Nope, it's a theme park "experience" that was poorly titled, a miserable attraction, and short-lived. Extreme Close-Up was based on the cars of Tokyo Drift and included them dancing to Daddy Yankee's Gasolina--seriously.
As for why the title is so bad, other than it just not being that great, is that the close-up wasn't even extreme. The cars were essentially shells connected to robot arms that spun them around in the air, creating the least realistic "special effect" imaginable.
10. Fast & Furious Presents: Hobbs & Shaw
This is just long and full of ampersands. I get why they'd wedge Fast & Furious into this, because it's a name that sells. And Hobbs & Shaw works because it's, well, what the movie's about. But formatting it as "Fast & Furious Presents" means, technically, this is brought to us by the fourth film in the series, which is titled Fast & Furious. I should also note that Hobbs and Shaw aren't in that movie, making it even trickier.
Clearly, they should call it Shaw Fast Hobbs Furious: The Movie, Not Starring Vin Diesel.
9. F9: The Fast Saga
This one is an oddity. Is The Fast Saga part of the official title? We're not entirely sure. After all, it's included in the title treatment on the poster. The biggest issue here is that this movie is making use of an idea that would have been much better used on Fate of the Furious. F8 can be said at fate. F9 founds like fnine and that's not a word. Whatever, Han's alive so who cares?
8. Fast & Furious: Supercharged
What's that? You don't remember seeing this movie? Fast & Furious: Supercharged is actually a theme park ride at Universal Studios in Hollywood and Orlando. And Supercharged is a car pun I refuse to ignore. They should try that with the movies. If there's anything this series is missing, it's a good amount of puns.
7. The Fate of the Furious
I know what you're thinking. This should be higher up on the list, right? It's certainly a note I got from more than one editor at GameSpot. After all, calling the eighth movie F8 is a brilliant naming idea. The big problem with that, as mentioned previously, is that it's not the name of the movie.
F8 is on practically every poster and trailer and F8 of the Furious would have been an amazing title that landed this movie at the top of the list. That's not what it's called, though--they inexplicably decided to spell out "Fate." And for that, I deem this entire affair a massive marketing failure. You're better than this, Fast & Furious franchise. Get your head in the game. #Justice4Han
6. Furious 7
This is a great title. Well, it would be a great title if it were for the 6th movie. After Fast Five, Furious 6 seems like an easy choice--and something that would look great if the movies were back-to-back on a Blu-ray shelf. Unfortunately, someone dropped the ball and pushed this title to the 7th film and here we are, disappointed.
5. Fast & Furious
The title for the fourth film in the franchise is simple, but effective. It's as close as you can get to The Fast and the Furious without simply copying the title, and it tells you things are going back to basics. After 2 Fast 2 Furious followed Bryan to Miami and Tokyo Drift, well, drifted to Tokyo, Fast & Furious gets the band back together under a very appropriate title.
4. The Fast and the Furious
The title of the original film may not top the list, but it's definitely one of the best. The Fast and the Furious is a great movie title that tells you right out of the gate that things are going to get exciting. Of course, I can't help but think that the fast and the furious are one and the same. So maybe it should be The Fast and Furious or The Fast Are the Furious.
Nevermind, I'm putting too much thought into a street racing movie.
3. Fast Five
Fast Five just sounds cool. It's also the first time "Furious" was dropped from the titles, which points to the idea that this is when the franchise truly made a change. With the addition of Dwayne Johnson, the franchise ceased being a street racing series and instead became a wild collection of heist films.
2. The Fast and the Furious: Tokyo Drift
There may be some room to argue about what the best title in the franchise is, but the third is definitely the most descriptive. Right away, you know that not only is the action moving to Japan, but it focuses on a very specific type of racing in drifting. Whether or not you like the movie--and its lack of practically anyone associated with the first two movies--it has a great title.
1. 2 Fast 2 Furious
There you have it, the gold standard of Fast & Furious movies. In case you somehow couldn't tell, this is the second installment of the franchise. And if you missed that note the first time, don't worry--the title says it again. 2 Fast 2 Furious may not be the best movie in the franchise, but it certainly has the coolest title, even though it's completely nonsensical.