Super Smash Bros. Universe: Round 1: Battle 1

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EndlessGame

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#1 EndlessGame
Member since 2006 • 912 Posts

Yeah, that's right, EndlessGame working on some fan-fiction. Yay and woop-dee-doo. 8) However, I do think this would be the world most awesomest (I know that isn't a word) idea for a game, and it's a shame it will never happen. What is this, you ask? Well, you'll see in just a second.

Here you'll find battle 1 of round 1 of the Super Smash Bros. Universe tournament. I've already written battles 2 and 3, and already have an excel file with an ever-growing roster. However, I wanted to find out what people thought about the way I'm writing this before I posted the other parts of it. Whether it needs fleshing out, or if it works in these short forms. So then...here goes.

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Round 1: Battle 1

The sun shone brightly over the Super Smash Bros. stadium. The pinnacle of fighting prowess had been reached, and the world was finally accepting this one tournament as the ultimate fighting contest. However, this did not lead to company bias, quite to the contrary, it lead to co-operation. Now, in a dedicated movie and story, the events take place.

The crowd erupts into thunderous applause as the first fighters enter the arena. As they proceeded onto the field, many held hands over their eyes to block the intense sunlight. The stage was set, the pieces were in place, and play would soon begin. The announcer's voice boomed over the stadium, incoherent to the fighters inside the contained battlefield. They knew they were being introduced, not that there would be many spectators who didn't recognize them by sight.

Link glanced to his left as Mario walked alongside him. Mario tipped his hat and turned to the crowd outside the massive semi-transparent dome. Taking off his hat, he held his hands into the air and the crowd cheered even louder than before. Link smiled to himself, continuing his stolid stroll to the starting points. This tournament would be big, there was no mistaking it. Every fighter that anyone could think of was here. Link arrived at his starting point and turned back, looking around the arena.

Where the sky would normally be, was only a massive semi-transparent dome, and on the other side, the audience. Link was at home here, the stage reminiscent of the Hyrule Castle levels of old. He knew, if he advanced, the stages would become more hostile. He cast his eyes around for other fighters, but saw none.

A pair of eyes gleamed in the darkness as someone peered out at Link. This fighter's starting point had been ideally selected. The starting bell rang, signaling the beginning of the first match of the SSBU tournament. The eyes in the darkness briefly disappeared to be replaced by three glowing orbs. Link braced his shield and held his sword, ready for an enemy to attack from anywhere. All he had to do was be one of the last two fighters standing in this match to advance.

There was a swooping shadow above and Link braced, drawing his attention upwards. He saw nothing but the blinding sun. Then a small spec in front of it, steadily growing. He recognized the shape as it got clearer. Siegfried slammed the Soul Calibur onto Link's crossed sword and shield. Link's knees bent and he cringed under the mighty blow. His right arm was shaking, still trying to hold back his attacker.

He slid the Soul Calibur along the shield and just managed to slip sideways. Siegfried's blade struck the hard stone, a loud metallic clang resounding into the stadium. The crowd cheered again. Siegfried pulled the weapon from the stone, swinging it sideways as it rose. Link's right arm was once again tested as the massive sword crashed into his shield. His feet slid across the cobbles, small dust clouds rising from where he had stood before. He jumped forward and lashed out with his sword, but Siegfried leaned backwards, and the blade whizzed overhead, clipping a strand of hair. Just as Siegfried was about to retaliate, the backs of his knees were struck. His massive armor was too heavy and he collapsed backwards under his own weight.

His eyes opened to the barrel of a gun. He started, attempting to slide forward, but the trigger was pulled. The normally lethal shot teleported him out of the stadium into the defeated fighter's zone. He thrust his blade into the ground with anger and sat down. Link looked towards the new fighter. A red cloak and silver hair. Dante stared back at Link, saying nothing. He smiled and holstered his gun. His sword was suddenly in his hands and he rushed forward. With barely enough time to parry, Link thrust his blade in its path. The two locked and it became a battle of strength. Dante began forcing Link backwards, gaining a greater advantage every second.

Then a quiet but alarming noise caught their attention. An almost silent, high pitched pinging, rising in frequency ever so slightly. The two quickly released the sword lock and dived aside. And only just in time, the sniper rifle fired only milliseconds after they had moved. Sam Fisher swore and stood up, his position revealed now. Dante grabbed his handgun as he fell, aiming a quick shot at Fisher's forehead. Seeing the opportunity, Link whipped out his bow and arrow, aiming straight at Dante. Sam threw a knife at Link and the crowd went wild.

The next second was a blur. Dante pulled the trigger. Fisher went limp and vanished in a flash of light, the bullet striking its target. Fisher's knife just clipped Link's ear and severed his bowstring as it fired. The arrow flew far off course, and Dante, still not having hit the ground yet, aimed down towards Link. Mario leapt up onto the platform where the battle was taking place, only to be struck in the chest by Link's arrow. He vanished in a white light and appeared in the defeated fighter's zone.

The finishing bell sounded and Dante and Link hit the ground. The fight had ended ridiculously quickly through a quick series of lucky hits. The two advancing fighters stood up and stared each other down...

Back in the defeated fighter's section, the last two to arrive were a bit confused. "What'a happened to us'a?" Mario looked around dumbly. "Dante got me in the forehead with a bullet...knocked out in the first round. This tournament has got way more big names than I thought."

"Ah, mama mia."

"At least you weren't the first person eliminated", Siegfried muttered.

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Blade_Tr4iner

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#2 Blade_Tr4iner
Member since 2006 • 2112 Posts

I like it :D

No real comments otherwise - the battle is nicely detailed, although you should watch out to make sure that people can still visualise the subject even if they haven't played the game in question (I haven't played any of the Zelda games, for example, and although I know what Link looks like, I don't know what the Hyrule Castle levels are).

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EtherTwilight

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#3 EtherTwilight
Member since 2005 • 1142 Posts

Siegfried should've just changed into Nightmare with his rage and owned everyone with his cheap reach and overpowered moves.

But that's my opinion. :P

Anyway, an interesting piece. Firstly, I would recommend not abbreviating Super Smash Brothers. I think it's goofy to read abbreviations. Again, maybe it's just me.

Still, an interesting piece. Are Soul Calibur fighters and Dante and Sam Fisher really in Super Smash Bros. now? I haven't played the game since the very first one for the Nintendo 64, so I'm a bit out of the loop on SSB characters.

Oh, and this:

The stage was set, the pieces were in place, and play would soon begin.EndlessGame

Should be "the play would soon begin."

Overall, an interesting subject to work with, but I think a little more character exposition would work well. Just like Blade said, someone not know who these characters or areas are - Luckily, I know who all the characters were and can see Hyrule in my head.

Oh, and what's with the line about Hyrule being like the levels of old adventures? That struck me as odd...I'm not sure if you were wanting to have that video game reference in there, but it just seems out of place to me.

Then again, I don't usually read fanfic. Oh, and you write fanfic! Haha, nerd!

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Foolz3h

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#4 Foolz3h
Member since 2006 • 23738 Posts

I hope Sam Fisher actually died, dirty old man Snake wanna be I hate him!

He's like an even worse version of Jack Bauer. :P

ARGH!

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Blade_Tr4iner

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#5 Blade_Tr4iner
Member since 2006 • 2112 Posts
Torture is like sunshine to Jack Bauer - and he has a really great tan :P
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EndlessGame

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#6 EndlessGame
Member since 2006 • 912 Posts

Blade: *twitch* You've never... *twitch* *twitch* played...Zelda? Ok...hang on. *dies* Well, when using the Hyrule Temple reference I was referring mainly to the stage in SSBM, because the actual Hyrule Castle in the Zelda games is rather complicated and elaborate, which would make it a difficult fighting arena. Since it's fan fiction, I'm relying on people recognizing the characters and other references to video games in the story, although I'll try to give at least brief descriptions in the future.

Ether: Ah, well, this is the Siegfried from SCIII, so he isn't Nightmare anymore. Nightmare is now a sentient suit of armor. :wink:

I've used the abbreviation because that's how they insist on doing it in the game's title. I'm not a great fan of it either, but I decided to keep with the game name.

No, none of them are in it. SSBM was only Nintendo fighters, and, so far, Solid Snake is the only exception in SSBB. I made this up because I thought it would be a cool concept to carry over to everyone's franchises.

Yeah, as I've written to blade above, because it's fan fiction, I'm relying on people recognizing stuff. (This is for a much narrower market than my other stories, which could appeal to anyone. 8) )

Yeah, it's a reference to the games. Since they're all video game characters, it seemed to fit well. It is in third person narrative, as not to break the fourth wall. :)

I ish nerd! Nuuuuuu!! *hides*

Foolz: Nah, he didn't die. In spirit of the game, anyone who's dealt a would-be lethal blow, is instantly transported out of the stadium to a waiting section for the defeated before it does damage.:P

I've never much liked Jack Bauer, although Sam Fisher is alright. Snake is definitely cooler. 8)

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EtherTwilight

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#7 EtherTwilight
Member since 2005 • 1142 Posts
Ah, but neither Sam nor Snake have a website devoted to their body count. :P
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EndlessGame

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#8 EndlessGame
Member since 2006 • 912 Posts

"That's because there are way too many to count."

That was incredibly corny, but it worked so well I had to use it. :lol:

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Uziel126

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#9 Uziel126
Member since 2006 • 2994 Posts

That was well-written, with vivid detail and good usage of words. If you keep this style of writing, it's certain to be great. As long as you add characters. (I seriously wonder how Pikachu will survive if Mario can't make it... Vader vs Sauron vs Gravemind... the possibilities!)

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EndlessGame

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#10 EndlessGame
Member since 2006 • 912 Posts

Thanks, uziel. :D Yeah, I've got plenty more characters to add. I've made a spreadsheet file that has all the possible fighters I could come up with, their game of origin, and their progress in the tournament. However, I know I've forgotten loads, so any suggestions are welcome. I've been trying to avoid characters like Vader and Sauron however, who were brought in from other forms of media to video games. So far I've stuck with characters who came from video games first. And I've never seen Mario as much of a "fighter" especially when compared to Link, Dante, or others like them. Pikachu may last if he gets the right type of opponent for the electricity to work.

[quote="EndlessGame"]The stage was set, the pieces were in place, and play would soon begin.Ethertwilight

Should be "the play would soon begin."

I was just thinking about that. I was thinking of "play" being the process of the entire battle, as in the commencing of a game. Whereas "the" seems to make it sound like a moresingular object, almost like it's only the first move.

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EtherTwilight

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#11 EtherTwilight
Member since 2005 • 1142 Posts

I was just thinking about that. I was thinking of "play" being the process of the entire battle, as in the commencing of a game. Whereas "the" seems to make it sound like a moresingular object, almost like it's only the first move.EndlessGame

To be honest, Endless, I thought that you were thinking that too, and I should have pointed that out. The "problem" here is that you state that the stage was set, and thus, the idea of a play being involved is that it's the play that's about unfold on said stage.

Again, I apologize, I should have been more specific with my comment, especially since I already looked at it from the standpoint "Well, maybe he meant play as in just play, not like a play." But you did say stage, so regardless, play instantly snags from that motif and that's what ended up in my mind.

So either make it the play or change stage. :wink:

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EndlessGame

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#12 EndlessGame
Member since 2006 • 912 Posts

[QUOTE="EndlessGame"]I was just thinking about that. I was thinking of "play" being the process of the entire battle, as in the commencing of a game. Whereas "the" seems to make it sound like a moresingular object, almost like it's only the first move.EtherTwilight

To be honest, Endless, I thought that you were thinking that too, and I should have pointed that out. The "problem" here is that you state that the stage was set, and thus, the idea of a play being involved is that it's the play that's about unfold on said stage.

Again, I apologize, I should have been more specific with my comment, especially since I already looked at it from the standpoint "Well, maybe he meant play as in just play, not like a play." But you did say stage, so regardless, play instantly snags from that motif and that's what ended up in my mind.

So either make it the play or change stage. :wink:

No problem. :D No need to apologize, this is all helping me. :wink:

Do you mean that describing it as a "stage" instead of, say, a "board" (where a game would be played) necessitates the article for "play"? Or is it that I've already addressed "stage" with a "the"?

I believe I remembered hearing this line somewhere, and I felt it would fit well to make a dramatic start. It could have been Gandalf in the LoTR movies, but I'm not sure.

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EtherTwilight

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#13 EtherTwilight
Member since 2005 • 1142 Posts

"the pieces were set on the board, and play would begin soon"? Something like that.

I remember a line from Hexen on the N64: "I think I shall remove from the board." But the voice acting was atrocious, so it was more "I think. I shall remove you. From the board." I just brought it up because you brought up the LotR thing. :P

It's just that stage and play instantly go hand in hand, and it's tough getting that image out of my head.

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EndlessGame

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#14 EndlessGame
Member since 2006 • 912 Posts
Oooooooooohhhhhh. I get it now. You saw the other meaning of "play" as in a performance, as well as the meaning I was thinking of. Wow, that never even occured to me. And now that you say it, I see how people would be encouraged to think of that meaning by the word "stage". Yeah, I'll have to think of a better word than "stage".The first thing that comestomy mind whenever anyone says stage, is always the Hyrule Castle "stage" in SSBM. Thanks for pointing that out! :D
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EtherTwilight

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#15 EtherTwilight
Member since 2005 • 1142 Posts
Hahaha. Well at least now you see what I mean. :P
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Foolz3h

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#16 Foolz3h
Member since 2006 • 23738 Posts

"That's because there are way too many to count."

That was incredibly corny, but it worked so well I had to use it. :lol:

EndlessGame

:lol:

That made me alguh out loud!

As for SF I've only played a bit of Splinter Cell so perhaps if I played it more he'd come across as being less annoying.

I think one of the main problems is he reminds of Jack Bauer and Ricky Ponting two people I despise (well one is a character but whatever).