Metal Shadow Prelude is live

It's RAH-fick, like "graphic" without the "g". MS has a pretty consistent naming scheme so whenever you see certain characters you will know how to pronounce the word/name. :)

Ew I left a smiley. By the way, is that how you'd pronounce it in Norwgian?

iloveflash

Almost. In Norwegian the a sound would be more like the ea in heart and the e would not be silent.

Anyway, going down to one chapter and two in the weekends.

Chapter 40:

Probably the most memorable action scene yet. Great stuff. 

Chapter 41:

Awesome chapter is awesome. 

Chapter 42:

I'm tempted to break with my schedule, because nothing really happened in this chapter. 

So it looks like 40 and 41 are hits. Shame about 42, I liked that chap.

Chapter 49: Impetus, just went through the edit mill, and wow, oh my holy, it's beautiful. All you Ziare haters are gonna LEARN.

Casual reminder that 52 is the final chapter. 49 comes out tomorrow as scheduled.

Chapter 43:

Wow, Van has all along been a character that's hard to place - what his motivations are, where his lojalty lies and occasionally whether he is alive or not. Still, this left me really confused. 

I guess tomorrow we'll see if I'm confused in a bad way or a temporary way. 

Wow, I wrote a comment yesterday and then forgot to post it before I closed the browser :facepalm:

Chapter 44 

"He swung the Great Zircon, the very weapon he had stolen from Goddens tomb, and then...

    Dragon wasnt strong enough to survive him. "

Has it been established that the narrator is talking to someone? This seems inconsistent with the narrators role previously in the story.

"A walking...breathing...metal...shadow."

**** just got realer.

Chapter 45:

I think my main problem with the story so far, is that I'm at a point where I'm really not sure how the different characters in the story feels about each other. If you asked me how Elf Squad feels about Van or vice versa, how Van feels about Noa or how Elf Squad feels about Noa, I'd have a really hard time answering. Things are happening and all I can think is "yep, things sure are happening". 

Chapter 46:

I like seeing Van tired.

Damn cliffhanger. 

Has it been established that the narrator is talking to someone? This seems inconsistent with the narrators role previously in the story.

waZelda

If anything, this style is reverting to the style established in the beginning of the story. The narrator sometimes adopted the voice of the characters around chapters 1-15. It is inconsistent with 16 onward though, but I can't for the life of me figure out why.

"A walking...breathing...metal...shadow."

**** just got realer.

waZelda

That really is one epic AF line. I have to include that in a blurb somewhere.

Chapter 45:

I think my main problem with the story so far, is that I'm at a point where I'm really not sure how the different characters in the story feels about each other. If you asked me how Elf Squad feels about Van or vice versa, how Van feels about Noa or how Elf Squad feels about Noa, I'd have a really hard time answering. Things are happening and all I can think is "yep, things sure are happening". 

waZelda

Damn, here I was thinking I was the only one.

This comments alludes to several things.

First, that there needs to be exposition to illustrate the characters' relationships. I'm practicing "showing" over "telling" like the good student I am, but I think I've graduated a bit.

Second, the "things sure are happening" line means either the story has no clear objective or the story is not clear on its objective, or both. The former (no objective) is intentional; the latter (unclear) isn't. In other words, my aim is to intentionally keep the main objective unclear until the very end. The challenge I'm having is keeping people's interest piqued until then.

--

In other news,chapter 50 is out. It's a whirlwind of combat scenes, but also the final battle of the Prelude. What does this fight do differently from the others?

-Oh, just time travel.
-Teamwork (finally).
-I finally get to say that hundreds of characters died in this series.
-The plan worked.
-Agent Ziare becomes your favorite character.
-Magic EVERYWHERE.
-But with science!
-Horror scene.
-Someone says an actual swearword.
-Ice punch fist to robot gut. This matters to me.
-Ghost, Ex, and Noa combine to form a three-person pinball machine.
-Stripper whip catches fire whirlwind of stripper fire impending (LIGHT BSDM WARNING)
-^I...I don't know.
-Setting: Oh, just atop the freaking ocean.

Next two chapters are kind of a cakewalk so I might double-release them on the 12th and just wrap this thing up.

I was hoping to get a single straight read from 42 to the final chapter but I haven't the patience to wait. :/

I don't know why I confused Evomnetra with Dr. Dragon. Probably because they both seemed to be the Agency's "leader".

42 - 50

Okay, that was one hell of a twist. And to think that a more attentive reader could have picked up on it when those agents said that "Van" didn't actually look exactly like the original Agent Shadow. :/

Bit of a dick, only telling the Agency that Noa had terminated her pregnancy after they started to suck out her soul. Also, I gather that doing his time-travel thing (or as I now call it, Shadowhax) has to be extremely tiring or else "Van" would just chronoblitz every problem.

Anikae's story has gotten my mind wrapped up trying to follow it.

[spoiler] All the important dudes are basically related by blood or acquaintances, they were a bunch of rebels who ended up joining the Agency in various manners after Noa crushed and dispersed them, Lad Wydnie was reincarnated with his father's memories in place of his own, and somehow Anikae rediscovered Lad Wydnie and sold him out to the Agency to recover Noa so that they could go and fight something more dangerous than either. That about right? [/spoiler]

How come the Liberation Front dudes that they encounter did not recognize any of them when at least Lad would have an extremely important member of the movement? Also, can I hazard a guess that Lord P is actually Dr. Dragon?

Niccoli's death actually comes off as a bit anticlimactic given his role. I suppose that he's actually never been all too important a character but was written more as a device for moving the plot, hence him dying very quickly after his character expo.

Dr. Dragon's death, on the other hand. :o

Chapter 47:

Much as I appreciate the exposition in this chapter and all the secrets suddenly being brought into daylight, I am a bit disappointed. I knew from the start that the agents' memories having been purged and then their crystals were stolen was a winning formula as far as reveals down the line goes. However, I had some expectations:

A) That the reveals would be spaced out. Like different pieces of a puzzle. You get one memory from a character's past, which only opens for speculation, but as you get more and more, their past character becomes clear. Some agents might have more trouble handling this insecurity than others.

B) That the agents would have different backgrounds. Some joined the agency willingly, others were captives from the liberation front that the agency decided to turn into agents after wiping their memory. There could even be two agents in the party that used to be mortal enemies before what happened - leading to epic inner conflict. The conflict would be even greater if the two had become friends after the memory wipe. It would be like that Star Trek TOS episode when Kirk and the Romulan captain have epic mind games and seem to understand each other and the Romulan says "in a different reality I might have called you a friend".

Damn, I really want to use that in a story of my own, now. 

So as you can imagine, this chapter made me go "I guess that's good too" rather than "omg, what a twist!"

Chapter 48:

That is one brutal execusion of Niccoli. 

Just had the best 8 hours of sleep of my life. Gonna write both final chapters today. Probably release them today too.

I don't know why I confused Evomnetra with Dr. Dragon. Probably because they both seemed to be the Agency's "leader".

Barbariser

Seems to happen a lot. I'll throw in a line somewhere to clarify that.

42 - 50

Okay, that was one hell of a twist. And to think that a more attentive reader could have picked up on it when those agents said that "Van" didn't actually look exactly like the original Agent Shadow. :/

Barbariser

That's my bad--Agent Shadow is someone in Rail Platoon, the only guy who got dialogue in chapter 34. I completely forgot to mention that he had red hair and looked like Van and that his codename was Shadow.

Also, I gather that doing his time-travel thing (or as I now call it, Shadowhax) has to be extremely tiring or else "Van" would just chronoblitz every problem.

Barbariser

[spoiler] Well, considering he died after reversing about seven minutes of time altogether (about 4-5 minutes at the agency, 2 minutes out at sea), yeah. It's tiring. [/spoiler]

Shadowhax sounds AWESOME. Chronoblitz also sounds AWESOME.

Anikae's story has gotten my mind wrapped up trying to follow it.

[spoiler] All the important dudes are basically related by blood or acquaintances, they were a bunch of rebels who ended up joining the Agency in various manners after Noa crushed and dispersed them, Lad Wydnie was reincarnated with his father's memories in place of his own, and somehow Anikae rediscovered Lad Wydnie and sold him out to the Agency to recover Noa so that they could go and fight something more dangerous than either. That about right? [/spoiler]

Barbariser

My god you nailed it. A+, sir.

How come the Liberation Front dudes that they encounter did not recognize any of them when at least Lad would have an extremely important member of the movement? Also, can I hazard a guess that Lord P is actually Dr. Dragon?

Barbariser

Cuz this generation of the Liberation are scrubs. Arcouda's generation was the original, most either died, disbanded, or got caught and turned into Agents. The new gen simply usurped their name; they are none of them Liberation Front originals.

Lord P is Lord P. It would make for a twist if that was Dragon though... But at this point there's likely some part of the story that requires both characters to remain separate.

Niccoli's death actually comes off as a bit anticlimactic given his role. I suppose that he's actually never been all too important a character but was written more as a device for moving the plot, hence him dying very quickly after his character expo.

Barbariser

He always dies anticlimactically in every draft. It just happens.

That said, he's always just a clone of the real Niccoli in every draft. ;)

Dr. Dragon's death, on the other hand. :o

Barbariser

RITE. AGENT ZIARE, RITE.

I knew from the start that the agents' memories having been purged and then their crystals were stolen was a winning formula as far as reveals down the line goes. However, I had some expectations:

A) That the reveals would be spaced out. Like different pieces of a puzzle. You get one memory from a character's past, which only opens for speculation, but as you get more and more, their past character becomes clear. Some agents might have more trouble handling this insecurity than others.

B) That the agents would have different backgrounds. Some joined the agency willingly, others were captives from the liberation front that the agency decided to turn into agents after wiping their memory. There could even be two agents in the party that used to be mortal enemies before what happened - leading to epic inner conflict. The conflict would be even greater if the two had become friends after the memory wipe. It would be like that Star Trek TOS episode when Kirk and the Romulan captain have epic mind games and seem to understand each other and the Romulan says "in a different reality I might have called you a friend".

waZelda

A) This isn't a bad idea at all. This is ideal, actually, since it would allow the reader to ingest and speculate on each of their backgrounds. I did include some flashbacks while the Agents were in Wilde Passage but obviously that wasn't enough. I might expand on the flashbacks in chapter 29 down the line.

However, it simply isn't in my plans to make a big deal out of them remembering their past lives. What happened before they joined the Agency is important, but not nearly as important as what's going on now. I can't think of a way to get them to take their pasts seriously within the context of what's happening to them; they're supposed to be invested in their missions, not their personal lives. There was some idea to have them rejoin each other one by one after fleeing the Agency and their execution, thus easing in the information, but I felt that would've only drawn out the story. As you know, I hate fillers.

B) I think what you mean to say is, it's disappointing that they were all Liberation members with a vendetta and not strangers who met by chance.

In the previous drafts this was the case. They all joined the Agency for different reasons. The problem I personally had with that is it became borderline impossible to justify (to myself) how these seven Agents are special in any way if that's the case. Meaning, why did these seven, and not any others, end up getting saved by Van? Or why did only they (Elf Squad and Rail Platoon) find Noa and subsequently lose their jewels? By establishing that:

1) they were all connected to Van, and hence the Liberation, and

2) they're all stronger than the average Agent, hence why they found Noa before any other team and why Noa targeted Rail and Ex,

it became easier to justify.

It took a LOT of work getting to this draft, and I had to cut out some sweet ideas like the one you mentioned (how cool if they all met simply by fate?), but I'm sticking to this draft for those reasons. Plus the story of how they each joined the Liberation fits the destiny bill quite nicely imo.

Edit: LOL I was just wondering why the hell did Noa only target Rail and Ex! I remember why now: Rail Platoon had bandanas, and Noa's cloak targeted Rail and Ex's since they were the leaders.

Note to self: clarify that in-text. :P

I completely forgot that Breaking Bad's final episodes air tonight. This delays things a bit.

Chapter 49:

It really takes a lot of dicipline to stick to my schedule when all the chapters end like this. 

*huff* *puff* 51 is out...just in the nick of time...

ONE MORE CHAPTER LEFT.

Chapter 50:

Read it. Not much to say, I'm eager to see how this ends. 

The final chapter is out, gentlemen. The Prelude saga is over, the Red Threat saga begins.

Some thoughts:

-Jeebus, I really finished it.
-I'm so sad. I know I'll be editing this baby for a second and perhaps even third edition, but that's it. No more drafts. This story is now sealed in stone.
-I'm so freaking happy. This experience was so enlightening. I'D LIKE TO THANK MY MOM, AND GOD, AND FOOLZ3H, AND I'D LIKE TO THANK ALL THOSE WOMEN WHO PROVIDED FAP MATERIAL THROUGH THESE TRYING TIMES AND--*screech*
-Surprise! Didn't see THAT ending coming didja!?!? (No not the fap thing, the story thing. But the fap thing too, wasn't that surp--*screech*
-Don't worry. All of this leads very nicely into what I expect will be the definitive first episode of the main canon. Remember all the different drafts I put out on the board over the years? You should, because the plan is to combine every single one of them into the penultimate "Hollowlands" opening saga. EVERY. SINGLE. ONE. I've already come up with a first draft which I'm very pleased with, though I do need to work out some kinks.
-The main canon probably won't be out till next year. I'm going full idiot for the upcoming season with my next story, a comedy. I need to unwind after this hardcore stunt.

Thanks to everyone for sharing their thoughts, opinions, criticisms, and advice! In one of the future edits I intend to make to the Prelude, I will mention as many of your guys' names as I can remember in a foreword or acknowledgement section or something. Seriously, MSPre started right here, in this backwater forum on GameSpot. I love you guys! :)

Cuz this generation of the Liberation are scrubs. Arcouda's generation was the original, most either died, disbanded, or got caught and turned into Agents. The new gen simply usurped their name; they are none of them Liberation Front originals.iloveflash

Do cameras or other forms of imaging devices exist in this universe? Even if they're a cheap knockoff of the original thing, you'd think they'd idolize the previous "martyrs" of the rebellion for propoganda purposes. 

Lord P is Lord P. It would make for a twist if that was Dragon though... But at this point there's likely some part of the story that requires both characters to remain separate. iloveflash

Hmm, I figured they might be the same person due to both having multiple wives. I guess I'll just have to assume he's another evil dude, because he's still, well, polygamous.

RITE. AGENT ZIARE, RITE.iloveflash

Fitting that he'd be the ballsiest badass of the group after the crystal stops holding him back. 

51 - 52

That's a hell of a cliffhanger - and now I've got even more stuff to wonder about. I got it wrong that Van/Lad was Godden's vessel (although he technically is that now) so I dunno how he became powerful enough to be as powerful and dangerous an elemancer as the Winter Queen. Also just realized that Van/Lad's spirit have no choice but to use Dr. Dragon's corpse as a vessel. :o

This however explains why Dr. Dragon wanted to impregnate Noa with something and force her to remove Gineden via the Extractor. I assume that killing Noa directly would have simply allowed Gineden to take control of someone else. It seems though that Dr. Dragon acted with Godden's will while Noa Riley clearly wasn't acting with Gineden's even though both were "vessels". Inconsistency or intentional?

What's wrong with Anikae? She may be a coward but she managed to devise a plan to set both Noa and Van plus the entire force of the Agency against Dr. Dragon. Obviously the plan got fvcked by the Agency getting blown up, but once the actual fight arrives her new plan is to give up and hope they don't all get killed?

The Purgiae rule is actually rather interesting. It means that if a soul in there knows of the rule (normally Gineden isn't around to tell every new dead person about it right?), they can resurrect themselves into their original world by committing suicide. Technical immortality?

It's rather heartwarming to see the group interacting in a more relaxed, social manner for once rather than the typical "Agent Elf barks orders, Noa angrily screws everyone at the nearest opportunity" style of behaviour they were previously using. Then again, they are finally back together as friends and family rather than as agents. Well, except for the Winter Queen. :P Damn Gineden for ending this brief moment of companionship. Also shipping Ariel and Zion.

I actually wonder why I haven't asked about this before, but how long is the story of Metal Gear supposed to be? I'd guess that this Prelude alone has about 100, 000 words in it (or, a whole novel by itself) and that's not counting any potential content you may add in the future. The Prelude is also densely packed with action and fast paced, so I'm betting that any future books/stories are going to be longer than it. 

Do cameras or other forms of imaging devices exist in this universe? Even if they're a cheap knockoff of the original thing, you'd think they'd idolize the previous "martyrs" of the rebellion for propoganda purposes.

Barbariser

And another thing I forgot to mention in-story! The original Front has no pictures or recordings of Lad and the would-be Agents. Those guys were the elite of the elite and didn't try to get publicity. Arcouda was always a faceless general.

Also, the new guys are scrubs. If anything they might have pulled up fake photos of the originals for their propoganda, but when the original Liberation is standing right in front of them they simply have no idea who they are.

Hmm, I figured they might be the same person due to both having multiple wives. I guess I'll just have to assume he's another evil dude, because he's still, well, polygamous.

Barbariser

That was to illustrate that polygamy is a common thing among Clandestined. Stanlie is too; he mentions that each of his sons was born to different mothers when talking to Noa, like it's no biggie.

Fitting that he'd be the ballsiest badass of the group after the crystal stops holding him back.

Barbariser

And I absolutely loved hearing you guys talk down about him knowing what he would do in the end. :P

51 - 52

That's a hell of a cliffhanger - and now I've got even more stuff to wonder about. I got it wrong that Van/Lad was Godden's vessel (although he technically is that now) so I dunno how he became powerful enough to be as powerful and dangerous an elemancer as the Winter Queen. Also just realized that Van/Lad's spirit have no choice but to use Dr. Dragon's corpse as a vessel. :o

Barbariser

It seems you've missed a few points!

-The real Van was never explicitly stated to be Godden's host, but when Gineden asked fake Van what happened at the tomb, he said Godden possessed him. Since this is the real Van's memory, it can be assumed that the real Van was indeed possessed.
-This would make his son, Lad, an inheritor of Godden's power. So Lad technically has three parents. Hence why he is strong enough to battle Lord Pyenze singlehandedly as a teenager (though he died, he effed Pyenze's sh!t up), and then mimick the real Van when he comes back to life.
-Lad's soul has been absorbed along with everyone else's into Gineden's spell. They will not reincarnate according to the classic rules. The body of Dr. Dragon was also obliterated by Louqe to clarify to keen readers that no one will ever possess him again.

It seems though that Dr. Dragon acted with Godden's will while Noa Riley clearly wasn't acting with Gineden's even though both were "vessels". Inconsistency or intentional?

Barbariser

For a second I was about to yell Inconsistency, but like so many other things I forget in this series, I just remembered that there is an explanation for Dr. Dragon's actions. The bottom line is that people who are possessed don't lose control over themselves. At least, people possessed by the classic rules which Adrock explained. There is one major exception that would allow the possesser to take control, but I won't say it out since it comes into play in the plot for the next saga.

I will say that both Gineden and Adrock have already hinted at it. ;)

What's wrong with Anikae? She may be a coward but she managed to devise a plan to set both Noa and Van plus the entire force of the Agency against Dr. Dragon. Obviously the plan got fvcked by the Agency getting blown up, but once the actual fight arrives her new plan is to give up and hope they don't all get killed?

Barbariser

Poor Anikae's plan was never that grand. She was merely handing Van over to Niccoli so Niccoli could use him in his own plot. Van, who is really Lad brought back to life, and someone she raised like her son. Anikae is very intelligent and perfectly capable of pulling off such a plan (which she sort of did in a previous draft), but this draft I wanted to hold back on Cunning Anikae and just show Hopeless Anikae. Besides, her cowardice got her aboard the ship heading out of Ende, so it wasn't such a bad quality after all, was it?

The Purgiae rule is actually rather interesting. It means that if a soul in there knows of the rule (normally Gineden isn't around to tell every new dead person about it right?), they can resurrect themselves into their original world by committing suicide. Technical immortality?

Barbariser

Gineden explicitly stated they are "reborn" rather than "resurrected". They come back as a new person with no memories of their past life.

It's rather heartwarming to see the group interacting in a more relaxed, social manner for once rather than the typical "Agent Elf barks orders, Noa angrily screws everyone at the nearest opportunity" style of behaviour they were previously using. Then again, they are finally back together as friends and family rather than as agents. Well, except for the Winter Queen. :P Damn Gineden for ending this brief moment of companionship. Also shipping Ariel and Zion.

Barbariser

My two favorite characters!

On that note, what is your impression of each of the nine main characters?

I actually wonder why I haven't asked about this before, but how long is the story of Metal Gear supposed to be?

Barbariser

Metal Gear. Lol.

As I've been saying for the longest, it will be a pretty long series. It will not follow the Prelude's style where it's all intrigue and awesomeness from start to finish, go, go, go, and the plot only gets twisty near the end. I intend to very meticulously lay out the world and develop the characters while establishing some really, really big plots--plots even bigger than Dr. Dragon taking over a nation. The Prelude is self-contained, but the main sagas will be a series of mysteries linked together to create bigger mysteries linked together. Much more challenging work.

First saga will be a few hundred chapters (~200-300 total; chapters of Prelude length, or ~2k words each) itself, and I'm planning to have five sagas total. You do the math. IT'S EPIC LONG. :P

And this isn't counting the absolutely massive backstory for the entire series. For the longest while I've been contemplating writing about:
-The Catastrophe
-The Wilderness Era (Attack on Titan stole my ideas dammit)
-Queen Belleville's rise
-The First Elemancy War
-The Student Hierarchy Wars (ever heard of the flash animation series XIN?)
-The Second Elemancy War (which leads to the exile of Rethe and hence birth of Ende; Godden would inevitably be the protagonist)
-The rise of SCAI
-and the rise and fall of the original Liberation Front

LOADS of delicious content in this series. LOADS.

That was to illustrate that polygamy is a common thing among Clandestined. Stanlie is too; he mentions that each of his sons was born to different mothers when talking to Noa, like it's no biggie.iloveflash

Well, Stanlie is pretty much a bad guy and an asshole, so I stick by my observation that many wives = ungood character. 

It seems you've missed a few points!

-The real Van was never explicitly stated to be Godden's host, but when Gineden asked fake Van what happened at the tomb, he said Godden possessed him. Since this is the real Van's memory, it can be assumed that the real Van was indeed possessed.
-This would make his son, Lad, an inheritor of Godden's power. So Lad technically has three parents. Hence why he is strong enough to battle Lord Pyenze singlehandedly as a teenager (though he died, he effed Pyenze's sh!t up), and then mimick the real Van when he comes back to life.
-Lad's soul has been absorbed along with everyone else's into Gineden's spell. They will not reincarnate according to the classic rules. The body of Dr. Dragon was also obliterated by Louqe to clarify to keen readers that no one will ever possess him again.iloveflash

Well, if Van was Godden's host then I can assume that somehow Godden jumped from Van to Dr. Dragon when he was skewered by the Zircon? (Also assuming that Dr Dragon was the one doing the skewering). You probably can't reveal this, but I'm also guessing that Lad attacking Pyenze against orders had something to do with Pyenze being in league with the dude who killed his father?

Another thing I realized that has to be true for this backstory to work, btw: either Lad Wydnie didn't inherit any memories from Van about what the real Van looked like, or Lad Wydnie doesn't know what he himself looks like. :P

Poor Anikae's plan was never that grand. She was merely handing Van over to Niccoli so Niccoli could use him in his own plot. Van, who is really Lad brought back to life, and someone she raised like her son. Anikae is very intelligent and perfectly capable of pulling off such a plan (which she sort of did in a previous draft), but this draft I wanted to hold back on Cunning Anikae and just show Hopeless Anikae. Besides, her cowardice got her aboard the ship heading out of Ende, so it wasn't such a bad quality after all, was it? iloveflash

But what's her motive for giving Van to Niccoli? I figured that her relationship with Nic was just there so she could get close to him and manipulate him into using Van to fight Dragon. Alternatively, she genuinely adored/loved Nic and gave Van to him as a "gift" and to help his plan, but this makes her seem rather blonde and lacking in personal agency.

Gineden explicitly stated they are "reborn" rather than "resurrected". They come back as a new person with no memories of their past life. iloveflash

Oh, well that makes more sense and is less cheaty, although I guess it means that the original Liberation Front is dead for good after this point. Do these characters have any relation to the ones in Volume I: Element? (I had to look back a page to remember what it was called).

I suppose that Lad's body will now have Godden's personality (after all, it is an unconventional rebirth), and both Van and Lad will be effectively gone as characters? 

My two favorite characters!

On that note, what is your impression of each of the nine main characters?iloveflash

Rail / Elira, Ex / Arcouda, Delta Dick - No opinion, they don't show much of themselves in their dialogue. Seem more distant, chilly than the next three squaddies. 

Ghost / Enkiden - Comes across as being on the friendly boisterous side, deserves it because he seems to be tougher and more energetic than almost all the other squaddies. 

Lair / Ariel - I can best describe her as being a bit girlier than a female version of Ghost.

Ziare / Zion - Inherently more stressful and complicated role than the rest, so it's no wonder that he makes more mistakes than they do. Doesn't excuse his initial displays of cowardice which he thankfully grows out of. Has a good heart and understands the meaning of determination though.

Elf / Rayshael - Easily the most formal, coldest squaddie. If not for the Winter Queen I'd consider Elf to be the story's ice queen. 

Noa - One of the scariest characters in the story, and definitely fvcked up. She would be even more dangerous if she was more, uh, rational. I'm not sure what her primary objective is after excising the parasite, but I'd guess that she wanted to get at Dr. Dragon. Sociopathically beating up her only available friends and allies is not an efficient means of getting at that goal. 

Van / Lad - He's a bit like Noa in that he's a bit single-minded and a sociopathic dick, but displays far more flexibility and is definitely more reasonable for the purposes of actually achieving it. 

Metal Gear. Lol.iloveflash

What the hell, me. 

As I've been saying for the longest, it will be a pretty long series. It will not follow the Prelude's style where it's all intrigue and awesomeness from start to finish, go, go, go, and the plot only gets twisty near the end. I intend to very meticulously lay out the world and develop the characters while establishing some really, really big plots--plots even bigger than Dr. Dragon taking over a nation. The Prelude is self-contained, but the main sagas will be a series of mysteries linked together to create bigger mysteries linked together. Much more challenging work.

First saga will be a few hundred chapters (~200-300 total; chapters of Prelude length, or ~2k words each) itself, and I'm planning to have five sagas total. You do the math. IT'S EPIC LONG. :P

And this isn't counting the absolutely massive backstory for the entire series. For the longest while I've been contemplating writing about:
-The Catastrophe
-The Wilderness Era (Attack on Titan stole my ideas dammit)
-Queen Belleville's rise
-The First Elemancy War
-The Student Hierarchy Wars (ever heard of the flash animation series XIN?)
-The Second Elemancy War (which leads to the exile of Rethe and hence birth of Ende; Godden would inevitably be the protagonist)
-The rise of SCAI
-and the rise and fall of the original Liberation Front

LOADS of delicious content in this series. LOADS.

iloveflash

At that length, one saga is going to be longer than a Game of Thrones book and the both series' will probably be comparable in total word count. I hope that's where the similarities end though.

You planning to make a living on this universe? Writing an entire series in addition to its expanded universe is a very hefty task and might take decades to actually accomplish. 

Well, Stanlie is pretty much a bad guy and an asshole, so I stick by my observation that many wives = ungood character. 

Barbariser

Holy crap this is true. Stanlie had two wives, Pyenze had three, Dragon had four.

Oh dear.

Well, if Van was Godden's host then I can assume that somehow Godden jumped from Van to Dr. Dragon when he was skewered by the Zircon? (Also assuming that Dr Dragon was the one doing the skewering). You probably can't reveal this, but I'm also guessing that Lad attacking Pyenze against orders had something to do with Pyenze being in league with the dude who killed his father?

Barbariser

Yeah I can't reveal that (you're close), but on the other thing, I will just mention that Dragon had golden eyes before Van attacked him in the memory.

Strange, isn't it? Van has purple hair from being possessed, Dragon has golden eyes. Noa's only feature was the hair-color change, but when she reverted briefly (ch.13) she got golden eyes. :roll:

I'm counting on you to figure out this mystery, Barb.

Another thing I realized that has to be true for this backstory to work, btw: either Lad Wydnie didn't inherit any memories from Van about what the real Van looked like, or Lad Wydnie doesn't know what he himself looks like. :P

Barbariser

The former. I should've mentioned that in ch.45 or 47.

But what's her motive for giving Van to Niccoli? I figured that her relationship with Nic was just there so she could get close to him and manipulate him into using Van to fight Dragon. Alternatively, she genuinely adored/loved Nic and gave Van to him as a "gift" and to help his plan, but this makes her seem rather blonde and lacking in personal agency.

Barbariser

It's the blonde thing.

Here's how that conversation would've went.

Niccoli: So I hear that kid of yours is back from the dead. [Insert plans to betray Dragon here.] Want.

Anikae: No! I've already sacrificed too much to get him back.

Niccoli: You want to talk about sacrifice? I just erased the memories of all my former allies. You're not his mother, Anikae. Look, either I use him or Dragon will. Remember who's the good guy here.

Anikae: Oh Niccoli, you. Okay, I'll send him a text or two.

Oh, well that makes more sense and is less cheaty, although I guess it means that the original Liberation Front is dead for good after this point. Do these characters have any relation to the ones in Volume I: Element? (I had to look back a page to remember what it was called).

Barbariser

MWAHAHA wouldn't you like to know!?

I suppose that Lad's body will now have Godden's personality (after all, it is an unconventional rebirth), and both Van and Lad will be effectively gone as characters? 

Barbariser

Lad's body disintegrated into thin air during shadowhax... If you're referring to the new red-haired man on the ship, there's another bucket of intrigue and wonder for you.

Rail / Elira, Ex / Arcouda, Delta Dick - No opinion, they don't show much of themselves in their dialogue. Seem more distant, chilly than the next three squaddies. 

Ghost / Enkiden - Comes across as being on the friendly boisterous side, deserves it because he seems to be tougher and more energetic than almost all the other squaddies. 

Lair / Ariel - I can best describe her as being a bit girlier than a female version of Ghost.

Ziare / Zion - Inherently more stressful and complicated role than the rest, so it's no wonder that he makes more mistakes than they do. Doesn't excuse his initial displays of cowardice which he thankfully grows out of. Has a good heart and understands the meaning of determination though.

Elf / Rayshael - Easily the most formal, coldest squaddie. If not for the Winter Queen I'd consider Elf to be the story's ice queen. 

Noa - One of the scariest characters in the story, and definitely fvcked up. She would be even more dangerous if she was more, uh, rational. I'm not sure what her primary objective is after excising the parasite, but I'd guess that she wanted to get at Dr. Dragon. Sociopathically beating up her only available friends and allies is not an efficient means of getting at that goal. 

Van / Lad - He's a bit like Noa in that he's a bit single-minded and a sociopathic dick, but displays far more flexibility and is definitely more reasonable for the purposes of actually achieving it.

Barbariser

*checks off a whole list of stuff*

And did your opinion on Van change after learning he was Lad?

At that length, one saga is going to be longer than a Game of Thrones book and the both series' will probably be comparable in total word count. I hope that's where the similarities end though.

Barbariser

I don't know what the wordcount is for GoT but I will say Metal Shadow will probably be as long as the Wheel of Time if I wrote out all those sagas. The pacing, however = I don't like fillers, so even sans those side-sagas, the series will cover as much ground, if not more, as TWoT, though in far fewer books.

You planning to make a living on this universe? Writing an entire series in addition to its expanded universe is a very hefty task and might take decades to actually accomplish. 

Barbariser

Lol did my English teacher put you up to that? Tell her I've changed my opinion on that.

One of things I learned this summer by upping the release schedule for the Prelude is that you don't need a whole year to write a book. So I'm confident I can crank out the finale for the main canon well before I hit my thirties. It will take several years, though, which is partly why I will release it on Jukepop: so I can make a bit of money while doing it.

And although making a living would be nice, the endgame is to make a living off of Metal Shadow the Game, not Metal Shadow the Serial, so I'm willing to make some sacrifices for the Serial if it comes to non-payment.

You don't need a whole week to write a book. :P Or if you really want to get it cracking, then you don't even need a whole day! (And by get it cracking, I mean the bones in your fingers.)Foolz3h

You come in here with all that crazy talk and everyone's just supposed to be okey-dokey about it?

Oh, a book in a day wouldn't be easy, and obviously it wouldn't be a long book, but let's aim for the nanowrimo length of 50k. My record in a single day is only 18k in 4 or 5 hours, so I'm behind the ball, but I can knock out writing at a faster rate now for overall time used (counting when I'm not writing due to distraction, interruption or procrastination). 5k in 70 minutes is my best rate overall time spent writing; I'm edging steadily towards 5k in 60 minutes. But let's go with 70. At 70 I'd need just over 11 and a half hours to get to 50k, that's plenty of time in the day left over for breaks and R&R.

It'd be a painful, soul crushing marathon, but it certainly seems possible. Dear lord would I not want to do it, though! I am not man enough bra. :(

And Waz knocked out 50k words in a week, right? No idea if I did that, but if I was writing at my current average of 5k per day, then I would've come close (48k) in the week I wrote 18k in, but I was probably doing 3k-4k back then.

Editing the book a well? Well, you'd better double up the time. So let's say 2 days for a 50k word book.

Am I late?

Chapter 51 and 52:

I don't know man. I liked chapter 51, but I found myself zoning out while reading chapter 52. I couldn't tell you what happened or how it related to anything else. I just kept losing interest, because I had the same feeling I often get from too complex poems. My mind just starts readin the words without even trying to interpret the meaning. 

Oh, a book in a day wouldn't be easy, and obviously it wouldn't be a long book, but let's aim for the nanowrimo length of 50k. My record in a single day is only 18k in 4 or 5 hours, so I'm behind the ball, but I can knock out writing at a faster rate now for overall time used (counting when I'm not writing due to distraction, interruption or procrastination). 5k in 70 minutes is my best rate overall time spent writing; I'm edging steadily towards 5k in 60 minutes. But let's go with 70. At 70 I'd need just over 11 and a half hours to get to 50k, that's plenty of time in the day left over for breaks and R&R.

It'd be a painful, soul crushing marathon, but it certainly seems possible. Dear lord would I not want to do it, though! I am not man enough bra. :(

And Waz knocked out 50k words in a week, right? No idea if I did that, but if I was writing at my current average of 5k per day, then I would've come close (48k) in the week I wrote 18k in, but I was probably doing 3k-4k back then.

Editing the book a well? Well, you'd better double up the time. So let's say 2 days for a 50k word book.

Foolz3h

Okay, I have to give a more elaborate response on this, as it's been on my mind for a while, and it bothers me a bit.

Firstly, my own personal record is 361 words in 10 minutes. If I hadn't been stopping to edit I could have, at the VERY most, hit 400.

60 minutes of that would be 2400 words. Which means 12k in those 5 hours you mentioned.

Here's the problem with all this dick measuring:

Those 361 words I wrote were based off of an outline written beforehand. That outline took weeks, if not months, to put together. And that outline was based off a brainstorm document which I'd technically been writing for years.

I'm bothered that you skip on this detail since outlining is quite possibly the most popular (and arguably effective) way of starting a novel. I personally cannot start a full-length novel or serial without outlining. So when I say I've learned that I don't need a whole year to write a book, I don't mean it's possible to do it in something as short as a week, either, or even a month. One of nanowrimo's biggest tips is to outline your story before starting the contest--because outlining keeps the story organized. And nanowrimo also advises you to kill the inner editor, who takes his time and doesn't rush things.

So writing and editing a full-length novel of some quality in less than a year TRULY ISN'T AS EASY AS YOU MAKE IT SOUND.

Also, clean example of why word count doesn't matter: in the past four days since finishing MSPre, I've been brainstorming volume 1, and you know how many words that document is at right now? 10k words. Four days, 10k words. Will I have a completed book in front of me in two weeks? I'm sure you'd agree that answer is no if you saw the document. Past episode three, all my thoughts are disorganized. (Well you sort of already know since you've seen a previous brainstorm document for the series.) So I've essentially been regurgitating nonsense for the past four days. Hardly novel material.

So there. I don't even know where there is, but there.

My post got lost somewhere in GS' rectum, but bottom line: practically speaking, neither of us could write a 50k word novel in one day, and then edit it to completion the next day, so our dicks are measured in equal lengths. But, the fact of the matter is that clearly someone else could, so our dicks are still inferior.

Happy now? Let's sword fight.

I fail to see how this point applies to my earlier comment that it's not going to take an eternity to complete Metal Shadow, but that aside, I am not happy, because really and truly it is stupid that GameSpot allows usage of the words dick and cock and not **** shit, ass, or bitch.

W...woah.

I fail to see how this point applies to my earlier comment that it's not going to take an eternity to complete Metal Shadow, but that aside, I am not happy, because really and truly it is stupid that GameSpot allows usage of the words dick and cock and not **** shit, ass, or bitch.

W...woah.

iloveflash

"One of things I learned this summer by upping the release schedule for the Prelude is that you don't need a whole year to write a book. So I'm confident I can crank out the finale for the main canon well before I hit my thirties."

"You don't need a whole week to write a book. Or if you really want to get it cracking, then you don't even need a whole day! (And by get it cracking, I mean the bones in your fingers.)"

It's called encouragement.  :P

The latter reply didn't apply to it, but you asked for further random explanation that wasn't really related to it, so that's what you got. We derailed it as a team.

[QUOTE="iloveflash"]

I fail to see how this point applies to my earlier comment that it's not going to take an eternity to complete Metal Shadow, but that aside, I am not happy, because really and truly it is stupid that GameSpot allows usage of the words dick and cock and not **** shit, ass, or bitch.

W...woah.

Foolz3h

"One of things I learned this summer by upping the release schedule for the Prelude is that you don't need a whole year to write a book. So I'm confident I can crank out the finale for the main canon well before I hit my thirties."

"You don't need a whole week to write a book. Or if you really want to get it cracking, then you don't even need a whole day! (And by get it cracking, I mean the bones in your fingers.)"

It's called encouragement.  :P

The latter reply didn't apply to it, but you asked for further random explanation that wasn't really related to it, so that's what you got. We derailed it as a team.

The placement of the word "even" in that response was too far from the place where it would have cleared up everything.

But then again all of this is crazy talk so I doubt "even" that would have made plausible the eroticness of that statement.

Please keep that **** quote going.

Yeah I can't reveal that (you're close), but on the other thing, I will just mention that Dragon had golden eyes before Van attacked him in the memory.

Strange, isn't it? Van has purple hair from being possessed, Dragon has golden eyes. Noa's only feature was the hair-color change, but when she reverted briefly (ch.13) she got golden eyes. :roll:

I'm counting on you to figure out this mystery, Barb. iloveflash

Only solution I can come up with is that somebody extracted Godden from Van and Dr. Dragon was possessed before he killed Van. 

*checks off a whole list of stuff*

And did your opinion on Van change after learning he was Lad? iloveflash

Nope, because Lad's personality is hardly shown and what we were seeing was basically Van's personality minus Godden's influence. 

I don't know what the wordcount is for GoT but I will say Metal Shadow will probably be as long as the Wheel of Time if I wrote out all those sagas. The pacing, however = I don't like fillers, so even sans those side-sagas, the series will cover as much ground, if not more, as TWoT, though in far fewer books.iloveflash

Never read WoT, dunno how long it is. I just get the impression (from you and a few other readers) that it's vastly longer than it actually has to be. ASoIoF books are between 200k to 400k and part of that is because a huge chunk of their "content" is "nothing important happens". Your first saga alone is going to be between 400k to 600k and (if all goes to plan) have very little filler, which is what made me wonder exactly what the hell you're planning to put in there. 

Lol did my English teacher put you up to that? Tell her I've changed my opinion on that.iloveflash

Doubt it, I've never been to North America. :P

One of things I learned this summer by upping the release schedule for the Prelude is that you don't need a whole year to write a book. So I'm confident I can crank out the finale for the main canon well before I hit my thirties. It will take several years, though, which is partly why I will release it on Jukepop: so I can make a bit of money while doing it.

And although making a living would be nice, the endgame is to make a living off of Metal Shadow the Game, not Metal Shadow the Serial, so I'm willing to make some sacrifices for the Serial if it comes to non-payment.iloveflash

You don't need a whole year to write a book like the Prelude (which is the size of an average novel by itself), but your five sagas are like 25 times longer than the Prelude. Metal Shadow as a video game sounds like something I would play..... except that I've never touched a JRPG before. Given the amount of content you want to cover I think the only way to really adapt it to consoles is by doing it Final Fantasy style and having a couple dozen different entries in the franchise. 

Only solution I can come up with is that somebody extracted Godden from Van and Dr. Dragon was possessed before he killed Van.

Barbariser

You're secretly Batman, aren't you?

Nope, because Lad's personality is hardly shown and what we were seeing was basically Van's personality minus Godden's influence.

Barbariser

Interesting. *scribble scribble*

Never read WoT, dunno how long it is. I just get the impression (from you and a few other readers) that it's vastly longer than it actually has to be. ASoIoF books are between 200k to 400k and part of that is because a huge chunk of their "content" is "nothing important happens". Your first saga alone is going to be between 400k to 600k and (if all goes to plan) have very little filler, which is what made me wonder exactly what the hell you're planning to put in there. 

Barbariser

I'm tempted to share this brainstorm document for volume 1 with you. At a glance it would all make sense. The main thing I will say makes this new draft of the series so...dense...with content is that the villain, in volumes 1-3, makes one extremely valiant effort against the heroes. I'm trying to think of another series where a villain goes to such lengths but the only thing I can pull up is Death Note, whose "villain", the protagonist, is a genius. However Metal Shadow isn't nearly as cerebral as that, so it's not a very good example. Another example might be Magus from Chrono Trigger, but that's all I'll say on it since I don't want to give away the basic premise of the series. :P

Doubt it, I've never been to North America. :P

Barbariser

That's right, you're Out of State. Where are you from, if you don't mind me asking? (I've forgotten, forgive me.)

You don't need a whole year to write a book like the Prelude (which is the size of an average novel by itself), but your five sagas are like 25 times longer than the Prelude.

 

Barbariser

Holy shit I just did the math and that's right. o.0

Metal Shadow as a video game sounds like something I would play..... except that I've never touched a JRPG before. Given the amount of content you want to cover I think the only way to really adapt it to consoles is by doing it Final Fantasy style and having a couple dozen different entries in the franchise.  Barbariser

I'm planning to start teaching myself Java so I can program an alpha version of the game engine by November of this year. It would be very scant, of course, but at least then I can show people what I've been going on about all these years. You guessed right that it is an RPG, but it's going to be in a new subgenre because it simply hasn't been done before, though FF12 came magnificently close.

As for how the game series will be published, I have lots of bold ideas which are reliant on the progress the open source movement should make in the next few years. In a nutshell, it will be one game which constantly updates. And not just in a DLC way; the gameplay itself--the battle system, mainly--will update over time, evolving from player input.

I'm tempted to share this brainstorm document for volume 1 with you. At a glance it would all make sense. The main thing I will say makes this new draft of the series so...dense...with content is that the villain, in volumes 1-3, makes one extremely valiant effort against the heroes. I'm trying to think of another series where a villain goes to such lengths but the only thing I can pull up is Death Note, whose "villain", the protagonist, is a genius. However Metal Shadow isn't nearly as cerebral as that, so it's not a very good example. Another example might be Magus from Chrono Trigger, but that's all I'll say on it since I don't want to give away the basic premise of the series. :P iloveflash

Don't worry, I won't have be able to deduce anything from you comparing your story to anything Japanese. 

That's right, you're Out of State. Where are you from, if you don't mind me asking? (I've forgotten, forgive me.) iloveflash

I live in a medium sized phallic shaped country in Southeast Asia called Malaysia. 

I'm planning to start teaching myself Java so I can program an alpha version of the game engine by November of this year. It would be very scant, of course, but at least then I can show people what I've been going on about all these years. You guessed right that it is an RPG, but it's going to be in a new subgenre because it simply hasn't been done before, though FF12 came magnificently close.

As for how the game series will be published, I have lots of bold ideas which are reliant on the progress the open source movement should make in the next few years. In a nutshell, it will be one game which constantly updates. And not just in a DLC way; the gameplay itself--the battle system, mainly--will update over time, evolving from player input.iloveflash

Oh wow so it would have to be a PC game. Well that makes it a lot easier for me to actually play it. Isn't a "constantly updating" gameplay system what modern developers do with patches, expansions and now DLCs? With the way you advertise this project, you should definitely go and put it on Kickstarter.