It was the dawn of Septembereth 23rd of the year 1889 when the Dark Lord Nintendo hath come unto this world. Full of power and evil, Nintendo's sole goal was to rid the world of joy and amusement. Nintendo forged 6 rings in the fires of Mount Japan (DS, Nintendo 64, NES, Virtual Boy, Gameboy, and Gamecube), Nintendo gave these rings to the people of the world, providing them with entertainment and joy. But, alas, they were tricked! For Nintendo had something else in mind: Nintendo forged a 7th, ultimate ring to control all the other rings, a ring so corrupt and evil that it would shake the very fabric of the entertainment industry, Nintendo named this ring the Wii. With the Wii all corruption began to spread, companies like Microsoft and Sony succumbed to the evil of Nintendo's ring, Microsoft spawned the Kinect and Sony spawned the Move. Both the Kinect and Move spread in popularity, engulfing the world in terror and horrible casual games, until all creativity hath come to a halt. This was the start of the Dark Ages. It seemed like all was lost, but then one man stood above all, Gaben of Newell descent emerged from the tunnels of Valve to claim the world for his own. He raised his mighty sword Steam and swooped the evil away.
Young Gaben had become a master wizard, keen on keeping the peace. It seemed like all was good, companies such as Sony began to return to the light, and the Dark Ages had come to an end. But, alas, there was still evil in the world. Microsoft was falling deep into corruption, seeking the power of the ring. The Dark Lord Nintendo was seeking to return, using the power of the Wii Nintendo planned to create another ring to control the ring that controls all the other rings, this ultimate ring was dubbed the Wii U. Darkness spread again, but this time Gaben was prepared, for he had an idea that would rid the world of darkness all together. He was to forge an ultimate sword that would cut through all the rings, and bring an end to corruption and hatred for many years to come. Gaben is currently naming this sword Steambox, and he is fulfilling his destiny of righteousness and purity by forging it to destroy all evil. So you see, young System Warriors, we must take arms and help Gaben destroy Dark Lord Nintendo before it's too late.