Why Steambox will kill the Wii U

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#1 Posted by XVision84 (13985 posts) -

It was the dawn of Septembereth 23rd of the year 1889 when the Dark Lord Nintendo hath come unto this world. Full of power and evil, Nintendo's sole goal was to rid the world of joy and amusement. Nintendo forged 6 rings in the fires of Mount Japan (DS, Nintendo 64, NES, Virtual Boy, Gameboy, and Gamecube), Nintendo gave these rings to the people of the world, providing them with entertainment and joy. But, alas, they were tricked! For Nintendo had something else in mind: Nintendo forged a 7th, ultimate ring to control all the other rings, a ring so corrupt and evil that it would shake the very fabric of the entertainment industry, Nintendo named this ring the Wii. With the Wii all corruption began to spread, companies like Microsoft and Sony succumbed to the evil of Nintendo's ring, Microsoft spawned the Kinect and Sony spawned the Move. Both the Kinect and Move spread in popularity, engulfing the world in terror and horrible casual games, until all creativity hath come to a halt. This was the start of the Dark Ages. It seemed like all was lost, but then one man stood above all, Gaben of Newell descent emerged from the tunnels of Valve to claim the world for his own. He raised his mighty sword Steam and swooped the evil away.

sorry_but_Gaben_and_Gaben_incorporated_a

Young Gaben had become a master wizard, keen on keeping the peace. It seemed like all was good, companies such as Sony began to return to the light, and the Dark Ages had come to an end. But, alas, there was still evil in the world. Microsoft was falling deep into corruption, seeking the power of the ring. The Dark Lord Nintendo was seeking to return, using the power of the Wii Nintendo planned to create another ring to control the ring that controls all the other rings, this ultimate ring was dubbed the Wii U. Darkness spread again, but this time Gaben was prepared, for he had an idea that would rid the world of darkness all together. He was to forge an ultimate sword that would cut through all the rings, and bring an end to corruption and hatred for many years to come. Gaben is currently naming this sword Steambox, and he is fulfilling his destiny of righteousness and purity by forging it to destroy all evil. So you see, young System Warriors, we must take arms and help Gaben destroy Dark Lord Nintendo before it's too late.

Gaben+for+President.+Trust+him+there+wil

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#2 Posted by mariokart64fan (20741 posts) -

why steambox will not kill the wii u

1- it does not have many notable exclusives at all what are we goin to play ---- halflife all the time?

2 - it is not even a console it is a cheap pc , alternative

3 nintendo is a well known brand ,, steambox ----im pretty sure people can run steam on pc , and better ,

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#3 Posted by charizard1605 (82666 posts) -
...
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#4 Posted by XVision84 (13985 posts) -

...charizard1605

I was bored, ok? >.>

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#5 Posted by charizard1605 (82666 posts) -

[QUOTE="charizard1605"]...XVision84

I was bored, ok? >.>

Oh XV...
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#6 Posted by Gue1 (12171 posts) -

even as a not so funny satire thread if the PS1 and PS2 didn't kill the N64 and then the GC, 2 of the most garbage system that I have ever owned then nothing will ever be able to kill a Nintendo system. The power of Mario is too big and Pokemon can single-handedly carry any handheld.

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#7 Posted by Lance2500 (680 posts) -

This is my message.

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#8 Posted by senses_fail_06 (7098 posts) -

This is my message.

Lance2500
This is our message.
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#9 Posted by Cheleman (8197 posts) -

But... the WiiU is already dead:lol:

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#10 Posted by Lance2500 (680 posts) -

[QUOTE="Lance2500"]

This is my message.

senses_fail_06

This is our message.

I agree.

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#11 Posted by PsychoLemons (3180 posts) -

FanFiction?

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#12 Posted by XVision84 (13985 posts) -

even as a not so funny satire thread if the PS1 and PS2 didn't kill the N64 and then the GC, 2 of the most garbage system that I have ever owned then nothing will ever be able to kill a Nintendo system. The power of Mario is too big and Pokemon can single-handedly carry any handheld.

Gue1

Yeah, but you'd think with all the power Nintendo has and all the money, they'd at least make a better system than the Wii U. I mean come on, what is this? But I do like the sound of the steambox and think it'll be successful.

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#13 Posted by ninjapirate2000 (3347 posts) -

why steambox will not kill the wii u

1- it does not have many notable exclusives at all what are we goin to play ---- halflife all the time?

2 - it is not even a console it is a cheap pc , alternative

3 nintendo is a well known brand ,, steambox ----im pretty sure people can run steam on pc , and better ,

mariokart64fan
At least 1 person took it seriously...
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#14 Posted by deactivated-57ad0e5285d73 (21398 posts) -
I know Epic Fail is old, but this thread is epic fail.
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#15 Posted by darkspineslayer (22399 posts) -
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=2O9Uy4cKZoY ...well ok, maybe a little amused
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#16 Posted by k2theswiss (16599 posts) -
^ you put alot work into that. IF you wrotw that your self. you should forward that to him. i take valve over the big 3 anyday
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#17 Posted by olart4618 (469 posts) -
Its going to kilo ps brand
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#18 Posted by themajormayor (25726 posts) -

But... the WiiU is already dead:lol:

Cheleman
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#19 Posted by LegatoSkyheart (29703 posts) -

I'm on my Steam Box right now.

I've been ignoring my Consoles for awhile, I have to force myself to complete my console games.

If it weren't for Exclusives I wouldn't bother buying the other consoles.

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#20 Posted by Heil68 (57960 posts) -
Is the Wiiu even alive to begin with?
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#21 Posted by Timstuff (26840 posts) -

why steambox will not kill the wii u

1- it does not have many notable exclusives at all what are we goin to play ---- halflife all the time?

2 - it is not even a console it is a cheap pc , alternative

3 nintendo is a well known brand ,, steambox ----im pretty sure people can run steam on pc , and better ,

mariokart64fan

Console peasants insist that they will not play games on PC, so any game that is a PC exclusive that is also on Steam Box may as well be a Steam Box exclusive, because it's not like console peasants will play it on one of those big scary computawatchamacallits. Gamers who don't game on PC will got to Steam Box for the purpose of playing PC games, of which there are many that will never release on consoles.

The glory of the Steam Box is that it is going to shake things up so much, that by the time it's done the ver idea of platform exclusives might be a thing of the past someday. It is simply another venue through which you can play Steam games.

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#22 Posted by clyde46 (49053 posts) -

why steambox will not kill the wii u

1- it does not have many notable exclusives at all what are we goin to play ---- halflife all the time?

2 - it is not even a console it is a cheap pc , alternative

3 nintendo is a well known brand ,, steambox ----im pretty sure people can run steam on pc , and better ,

mariokart64fan
Lol at thinking it needs exclusives. This isn't for children.
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#23 Posted by AdobeArtist (24841 posts) -

This thread is a lie, discussion is now all in the new sticky.