SWM 5th Anniversary - Paper Mario flops big time, Vita redeemed? (hint: no)

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#1 Posted by Willy105 (24747 posts) -

October 30th, 2012 - Issue 60 - @swm_magazine

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Letter from the Editor:

Thanks for reading all these years. And if you haven't, well, thanks anyway. This..is...SYSTEM WARS MAGAZINE!!!

- Willy

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Come meet/mock the old farts that have been here for over 5 years. Hope you never end up like them.


HOW TO MAKE MULTIPLAYER FPS NOT SUCK

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"I wonder which one I should play today...."


IGN EDITORS SEE THEIR ADS FOR THE FIRST TIME

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The IGN writers got a look at their own website without Adblock for the very first time ever.


GAMERS ARE RUINING THE GAME INDUSTRY

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Didn't like our game? Just call 780-430-0164 and a costumer service representative will be there to fire whoever is responsible.



VIRTUAL CROSSROADS PART 2 - ENDLESS PLAINS

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Sometimes the best overworlds are those that let you travel in peace.


VIDEO: THE TOP 10 FPS OF 2005-2012

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Let's count the sequels!


XBOX 360 AND Wii GET NEW PRICE CUTS, PS3/VITA DO NOT

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Price cuts are for losers!


EUROPEANS TERRORIZED BY NEW PSN STORE

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Luckily, they don't have to pay for any health care from injuries sustained while using this store.


REVIEW: THE WORLD ENDS WITH YOU SOLO REMIX

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Nintendo loses another exclusive to it's only real threat in the console wars: the iPhone.


REVIEW: KIRBY'S EPIC YARN

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Kirbys Epic Yarn has been known to cause diabetes in certain individuals. Consult your doctor before playing.


REVIEW: SUPERMAN RETURNS

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This image was used to hype this game.....


REVIEW: ARMA II - COMBINED OPERATIONS

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Best game, or worst game? You decide!



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System Wars The Magazine #1

Re-hosted so that images actually show up now! (blame Gamespot Images)

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Avatar image for AdobeArtist
#2 Posted by AdobeArtist (24784 posts) -

Time to get this sticked. Oh and, FIRST :D

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#3 Posted by padaporra (3508 posts) -

Interesting stuff.

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#4 Posted by digitaldame (5401 posts) -

Awesome reads!

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#5 Posted by AdobeArtist (24784 posts) -

Hey Synthia, don't see you much around these parts :)

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#6 Posted by DraugenCP (8485 posts) -

I must say, this was a fun issue to contribute to, both as pretentious writer and as pedantic editor. :D

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#7 Posted by DarkLink77 (32731 posts) -

The best FPS list literally made me want to throw up. Who's responsible for this crap?

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#8 Posted by DraugenCP (8485 posts) -

The best FPS list literally made me want to throw up. Who's responsible for this crap?

DarkLink77



I am. Shoot.

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#9 Posted by DarkLink77 (32731 posts) -

[QUOTE="DarkLink77"]

The best FPS list literally made me want to throw up. Who's responsible for this crap?

DraugenCP



I am. Shoot.

You, sir, have horrible taste in shooters. inb4commentsaboutmyDukeNukemsig
Avatar image for DraugenCP
#10 Posted by DraugenCP (8485 posts) -

[QUOTE="DraugenCP"]

[QUOTE="DarkLink77"]

The best FPS list literally made me want to throw up. Who's responsible for this crap?

DarkLink77



I am. Shoot.

You, sir, have horrible taste in shooters. inb4commentsaboutmyDukeNukemsig

That is an opinion you're allowed to have. Feel free to come up with your own list if you think Duke Nukem didn't get enough loving.

Avatar image for DarkLink77
#11 Posted by DarkLink77 (32731 posts) -

[QUOTE="DarkLink77"][QUOTE="DraugenCP"]

I am. Shoot.

DraugenCP

You, sir, have horrible taste in shooters. inb4commentsaboutmyDukeNukemsig

That is an opinion you're allowed to have. Feel free to come up with your own list if you think Duke Nukem didn't get enough loving.

Has nothing to do with Duke Nukem, son. Just a terrible list all around.
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#12 Posted by DraugenCP (8485 posts) -

[QUOTE="DraugenCP"]

[QUOTE="DarkLink77"] You, sir, have horrible taste in shooters. inb4commentsaboutmyDukeNukemsigDarkLink77

That is an opinion you're allowed to have. Feel free to come up with your own list if you think Duke Nukem didn't get enough loving.

Has nothing to do with Duke Nukem, son. Just a terrible list all around.



That was a joke. But, as I said, feel free to make your own list. This was a reflection of my personal opinions with no pretense of objectivity. Some people were enthusiastic about it, others weren't. That's only logical.

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#13 Posted by DarkLink77 (32731 posts) -

[QUOTE="DarkLink77"][QUOTE="DraugenCP"]

That is an opinion you're allowed to have. Feel free to come up with your own list if you think Duke Nukem didn't get enough loving.

DraugenCP

Has nothing to do with Duke Nukem, son. Just a terrible list all around.



That was a joke. But, as I said, feel free to make your own list. This was a reflection of my personal opinions with no pretense of objectivity. Some people were enthusiastic about it, others weren't. That's only logical.

I'm sorry, I just take personal offense when I see Arma II listed as anything other than "Best Sleeping Pill." :P
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#14 Posted by DraugenCP (8485 posts) -

[QUOTE="DraugenCP"]

[QUOTE="DarkLink77"] Has nothing to do with Duke Nukem, son. Just a terrible list all around.DarkLink77



That was a joke. But, as I said, feel free to make your own list. This was a reflection of my personal opinions with no pretense of objectivity. Some people were enthusiastic about it, others weren't. That's only logical.

I'm sorry, I just take personal offense when I see Arma II listed as anything other than "Best Sleeping Pill." :P



I often see people making the same 'sleeping pill' and 'hiking simulator' comments about Skyrim, and then I see other people sinking hundreds of hours into that game. So it's impossible to please everyone. This is why I stressed in the article and the video description that this list is based on nothing but my own preferences. Everyone has an entirely different of idea of what they do and don't enjoy.

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#15 Posted by DarkLink77 (32731 posts) -

[QUOTE="DarkLink77"][QUOTE="DraugenCP"]

That was a joke. But, as I said, feel free to make your own list. This was a reflection of my personal opinions with no pretense of objectivity. Some people were enthusiastic about it, others weren't. That's only logical.

DraugenCP

I'm sorry, I just take personal offense when I see Arma II listed as anything other than "Best Sleeping Pill." :P



I often see people making the same 'sleeping pill' and 'hiking simulator' comments about Skyrim, and then I see other people sinking hundreds of hours into that game. So it's impossible to please everyone. This is why I stressed in the article and the video description that this list is based on nothing but my own preferences. Everyone has an entirely different of idea of what they do and don't enjoy.

I'd never argue that Skyrim is a sleeping pill. Just an incredibly bad games whose systems are held together by duct tape. But hey, to each his own.
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#16 Posted by DraugenCP (8485 posts) -

I'd never argue that Skyrim is a sleeping pill. Just an incredibly bad games whose systems are held together by duct tape. But hey, to each his own.DarkLink77


That wasn't really my point, though.

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#17 Posted by Willy105 (24747 posts) -

Well, maybe not duct tape, but those cheap off-brand Legos that you find at dollar stores that may or may not be tainted with lead.

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#18 Posted by DarkLink77 (32731 posts) -

[QUOTE="DarkLink77"]I'd never argue that Skyrim is a sleeping pill. Just an incredibly bad games whose systems are held together by duct tape. But hey, to each his own.DraugenCP



That wasn't really my point, though.

I'm aware. But as to your point, my response was, "To each his own."
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#20 Posted by Stevo_the_gamer (44885 posts) -
That twitter convo. :lol:
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#21 Posted by Stevo_the_gamer (44885 posts) -
Red flag goes up if SNIPER agrees with your list, Draugen.
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#23 Posted by DraugenCP (8485 posts) -

Red flag goes up if SNIPER agrees with your list, Draugen.Stevo_the_gamer


I'll let my next list be dictated by whoever gives me the most doritos so Sniper can label me as a corrupt western journalist.

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#24 Posted by AdobeArtist (24784 posts) -

The best FPS list literally made me want to throw up. Who's responsible for this crap?

DarkLink77

So how's your own vote counting coming along? :)

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#25 Posted by 1PMrFister (3134 posts) -

I must say, this was a fun issue to contribute to, both as pretentious writer and as pedantic editor. :D

DraugenCP

Same here, even if one of the two articles I contributed was a direct copy-paste from something I wrote over a year ago. LOL SELF-PLAGIARISM B&B&B&

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#26 Posted by Jonwh18 (9350 posts) -

That twitter convo. :lol:Stevo_the_gamer
indeed hilarious!

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#27 Posted by NeonNinja (17318 posts) -
That's an awesome twitter parody! Lame FPS list. But whatever.
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#28 Posted by Cherokee_Jack (32198 posts) -

lol Borema 2

Good job you put FEAR in there though. And Bioshock 2 without Bioshock 1 even, bravo.

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#29 Posted by DarkLink77 (32731 posts) -

[QUOTE="DarkLink77"]

The best FPS list literally made me want to throw up. Who's responsible for this crap?

AdobeArtist

So how's your own vote counting coming along? :)

It isn't, and it probably won't be for a couple of days.
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#30 Posted by mems_1224 (56917 posts) -
[QUOTE="DraugenCP"]

I must say, this was a fun issue to contribute to, both as pretentious writer and as pedantic editor. :D

SNIPER4321
I thought list is excellent. bioshock was only bad game on list

when you get this "man's" approval you know you're list is bad :P
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#31 Posted by NeonNinja (17318 posts) -

[QUOTE="AdobeArtist"]

[QUOTE="DarkLink77"]

The best FPS list literally made me want to throw up. Who's responsible for this crap?

DarkLink77

So how's your own vote counting coming along? :)

It isn't, and it probably won't be for a couple of days.

need help?

Avatar image for NeonNinja
#32 Posted by NeonNinja (17318 posts) -

[QUOTE="Stevo_the_gamer"]Red flag goes up if SNIPER agrees with your list, Draugen.DraugenCP



I'll let my next list be dictated by whoever gives me the most doritos so Sniper can label me as a corrupt western journalist.

Haha thats awesome!

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#34 Posted by DraugenCP (8485 posts) -

As said, that list was meant to represent personal opinion, not to be 'good' or 'bad' in the perception of the general public. I must've played about 50 first person shooters this generation, which includes the vast majority of the noteworthy shooters released this gen (the recent Halo games being the most notable exception), and these were the ones that impressed me most for the reasons managed. If you disagree and think you can do better, SWM is an open platform, so you're always free to submit something yourself.

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#35 Posted by 1PMrFister (3134 posts) -

As said, that list was meant to represent personal opinion, not to be 'good' or 'bad' in the perception of the general public. I must've played about 50 first person shooters this generation, which includes the vast majority of the noteworthy shooters released this gen (the recent Halo games being the most notable exception), and these were the ones that impressed me most for the reasons managed. If you disagree and think you can do better, SWM is an open platform, so you're always free to submit something yourself.

DraugenCP
Maybe people wouldn't disagree with your list so much if it had at least one game on it that utilized the Sheep's ideas to make shooters not suck. :P
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#36 Posted by DraugenCP (8485 posts) -

Maybe people wouldn't disagree with your list so much if it had at least one game on it that utilized the Sheep's ideas to make shooters not suck. :P1PMrFister


I'm ready throw that list out of the window when the first suckbanning atomic teabag deathmatch FPS comes out.

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#37 Posted by Willy105 (24747 posts) -

I don't even know enough about FPS to tell which one is good and which one isn't.

Banjo-Tooie's multiplayer FPS sections are the best anyway.

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#39 Posted by jg4xchamp (61470 posts) -

[QUOTE="DarkLink77"][QUOTE="DraugenCP"]

I am. Shoot.

DraugenCP

You, sir, have horrible taste in shooters. inb4commentsaboutmyDukeNukemsig

That is an opinion you're allowed to have. Feel free to come up with your own list if you think Duke Nukem didn't get enough loving.

It wasn't outright offensive, and it had some questionable picks. But I enjoyed the list for the most part. Even if it read like something Sniper would enjoy. Surely your list does not suck as much as the potential darklink list. also it's a f*cking list, getting those right takes divine intervention.
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#40 Posted by FrozenLiquid (13549 posts) -

As said, that list was meant to represent personal opinion, not to be 'good' or 'bad' in the perception of the general public. I must've played about 50 first person shooters this generation, which includes the vast majority of the noteworthy shooters released this gen (the recent Halo games being the most notable exception), and these were the ones that impressed me most for the reasons managed. If you disagree and think you can do better, SWM is an open platform, so you're always free to submit something yourself.

DraugenCP
It's actually a really good list, bar Bioshock 2, which I'd swap out for Bioshock. Cryostasis I may replace with CoD 4 also. Apart from that, I'd only really change the positions around with the rest. Your open non-objectivity suggests you like the ambitious games, even if they're more rough and unpolished.
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#41 Posted by jg4xchamp (61470 posts) -
Eh Red Orchestra and Metro2033 are totally games that can be dropped also. Metro gets a little bit too much good will for having good atmosphere.
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#42 Posted by mems_1224 (56917 posts) -
Draugen, what if you do 10 JRPG list??SNIPER4321
:lol: i love how this kid think that fps and jrpgs are the only two genre's in gaming. you need to expand your horizons bro.
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#43 Posted by organic_machine (9922 posts) -

[QUOTE="SNIPER4321"]Draugen, what if you do 10 JRPG list??mems_1224
:lol: i love how this kid think that fps and jrpgs are the only two genre's in gaming. you need to expand your horizons bro.

Relax, brah. He's clearly a troll account. He's just a good troll because so many people have fallen for it. He's a believable troll, but still a troll nonetheless.

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#45 Posted by DraugenCP (8485 posts) -

Draugen, what if you do 10 JRPG list??SNIPER4321


Believe it or not, but Paper Mario 64 is one of my favourite games of all time.

It wasn't outright offensive, and it had some questionable picks. But I enjoyed the list for the most part. Even if it read like something Sniper would enjoy. Surely your list does not suck as much as the potential darklink list. also it's a f*cking list, getting those right takes divine intervention. jg4xchamp


Well, yeah. It's mostly meant to just let people enjoy the game footage and provide them with a perspective on the genre other than that of 'hur dur all FPSs are the same'. But at some point you're always gonna p!ss someone off because you omitted their favourite game, or included a game they hate.

It's actually a really good list, bar Bioshock 2, which I'd swap out for Bioshock. Cryostasis I may replace with CoD 4 also. Apart from that, I'd only really change the positions around with the rest. Your open non-objectivity suggests you like the ambitious games, even if they're more rough and unpolished.FrozenLiquid


That is true, although this shouldn't be mistaken for me thinking that 'it's the thought that counts'. I can honestly say that these were the games I enjoyed most in the genre, and/or games that left the biggest lasting impression on me. I can also appreciate less ambitious, more polished games, and I actually own several of the Call of Duty games, but while I enjoyed some of them (particularly Modern Warfare and World at War), in the end they didn't impress me enough to make me pick them over any of the titles that did make the list. So I'm not some bitter CoD hater; I just prefer these games for the reasons mentioned in the article.

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#46 Posted by jg4xchamp (61470 posts) -

[QUOTE="jg4xchamp"]Eh Red Orchestra and Metro2033 are totally games that can be dropped also. Metro gets a little bit too much good will for having good atmosphere. SNIPER4321
and funny because Metro 2033 is so much better than most crap release this gen. and better than Overrated Bioshock

Both it and Bioshock suffer from very similar things. You can praise them for what they did on a presentation level and atmosphere(in Bioshock's case for what it attempts to do with its plot also). But outside of that neither game is all that special on a gameplay front.

Both games have some middle of pack gunplay, both games feature enemy AI that isn't exactly FEAR status or anyything, both games throw in elements of other genres(RPG for BioshocK/Survival for Metro) and struggle to execute them effectively. Both try to make up for their more restrictive nature with linear level design that partially rewards you for exploring, but beyond that never changes the fact that for the most part the game is about going forward shooting sh1t. Just as easy it is to take advantage of the chambers and the ice wrench in Bioshock you can easily go through metro2033 without ever honestly giving a f*ck about your ammo. Better than Bioshock? Hell it might as well be the same game in some respects.

The same way one can blame Bioshock for being System Shock for dumb people is the exact same way one can argue Metro2033 is eastern fps for idiots. Difference is Bioshock at least some cool tricks in between, and Metro sells off this more grounded nature a lot better inspite of some of the more um absurd scenarios that come up later.

As for the "better than most crap release" part. Congrats it's better than most FPS games. That's some faint praise right there.

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#47 Posted by jg4xchamp (61470 posts) -





Well, yeah. It's mostly meant to just let people enjoy the game footage and provide them with a perspective on the genre other than that of 'hur dur all FPSs are the same'. But at some point you're always gonna p!ss someone off because you omitted their favourite game, or included a game they hate.


DraugenCP

THat's why it's easier to just be out right high and mighty about it. Save yourself the effort later.

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#48 Posted by DarkLink77 (32731 posts) -

[QUOTE="DarkLink77"][QUOTE="AdobeArtist"]

So how's your own vote counting coming along? :)

NeonNinja

It isn't, and it probably won't be for a couple of days.

need help?

So much help.
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#49 Posted by DarkLink77 (32731 posts) -
Surely your list does not suck as much as the potential darklink list. jg4xchamp
Never misses a beat. :lol: