Would you take back a cheating girlfriend/boyfriend/spouse

  • 60 results
  • 1
  • 2
Avatar image for Mercenary848
#1 Posted by Mercenary848 (11214 posts) -

I have seen a lot of couples, bounce back but I know myself and if any of my girlfriends cheated on me i'm out. I do not understand the mindset of staying with someone who would betray you.

Avatar image for Stranger_36
#2 Posted by Stranger_36 (608 posts) -

No. She cheats once and that would be it for me.

Avatar image for Black_Alpha_G
#3 Posted by Black_Alpha_G (94 posts) -

@Stranger_36 said:

No. She cheats once and that would be it for me.

.

Avatar image for perfect_blue
#4 Posted by Perfect_Blue (30489 posts) -

Nope.

I consider that a form of self hatred.

Avatar image for Ballroompirate
#5 Edited by Ballroompirate (25956 posts) -

Nope

Avatar image for ad1x2
#6 Edited by ad1x2 (6706 posts) -

Different circumstances can change whether or not this would be a yes or no for certain people. For example, some men who were cheated on may stay with their wives if she is remorseful and they have kids together if for no other reason than her infidelity not being considered in custody agreements from the court.

Personally, I say that you don't know what you are going to do until it happens but chances are if you are married and in a no-fault state where adultery isn't grounds for divorce, it may be cheaper to keep her. With a girlfriend, less is invested in the relationship so **** 'em.

Avatar image for geekinkinc
#7 Posted by GeekInkINC (206 posts) -

The most she'd get is a one nighter

Avatar image for Assassin_87
#8 Posted by Assassin_87 (2341 posts) -

It depends on the situation, and I really don't know. I've got a wife who's been with me for years now, and I doubt I could accurately tell you what I would do if she cheated. Hard to say.

Avatar image for foxhound_fox
#9 Posted by foxhound_fox (97029 posts) -

Cheating involves lying and fooling around behind my back.

There is no amount of forgiveness that I could muster to overcome that.

If she wants to have an open relationship, or some sort of "group" experience, then we'll talk about it, consent and it'll be fine. Cheating is just bad all around.

Avatar image for Sword-Demon
#10 Posted by Sword-Demon (7007 posts) -

Absolutely not.

You can't possibly trust someone who has cheated on you, and you can't have a relationship with someone you don't trust.

Avatar image for tocool340
#11 Posted by tocool340 (21189 posts) -

Depends on her excuse and how much I love her. Most likely though, we're done. I'm not interested in having a relationship with someone who betrayed my trust. There must be something broken in our relationship for her to do it once and if she couldn't be mature enough to tell me the problem or simply say "I think we should see other people", then there's really not much reason to savage that relationship. Time is precious and I'm not about to spend it on a broken relationship...

Avatar image for lamprey263
#12 Edited by lamprey263 (35032 posts) -

If that happens she probably got knocked up and she's gonna pass the kid off as yours, say you'll need a 9 month trial period with no sex and see what happens.

Avatar image for sailor232
#13 Edited by sailor232 (6833 posts) -

@foxhound_fox said:

Cheating involves lying and fooling around behind my back.

There is no amount of forgiveness that I could muster to overcome that.

If she wants to have an open relationship, or some sort of "group" experience, then we'll talk about it, consent and it'll be fine. Cheating is just bad all around.

This.

Avatar image for Makhaidos
#14 Posted by Makhaidos (2162 posts) -

Yes, but only so I could have them close to me as I plot my elaborate and life-ruining revenge.

Avatar image for Darthkaiser
#15 Edited by Darthkaiser (12447 posts) -

That's a tough question, it kinda depends on the circumstances at least to me

Say if I have kids and a family If I had to do it for the sake of the family then I "suppose", then again if she cheated maybe she didn't held family in such high regard

Avatar image for Master_Of_Fools
#16 Edited by Master_Of_Fools (1651 posts) -

Depends. If she "cheated" on me with another chick I'd be fine with it lol. If it was with a dude I would need a very good reason to keep her, otherwise there's the door.

Avatar image for ShepardCommandr
#17 Posted by ShepardCommandr (4939 posts) -

I can't take someone who is dead back......

Avatar image for hippiesanta
#18 Posted by hippiesanta (10299 posts) -

If still / even hotter than before .... why not..

Avatar image for thegerg
#19 Edited by thegerg (18399 posts) -

no

Avatar image for korvus
#20 Edited by korvus (11025 posts) -

My gut reaction is "Absolutely not". If there are problems in a relationship, cheating is a sure fire way to permanently close doors. But while I'm still 99.9% sure I wouldn't take her back, I love my wife with everything I have, so I can't be 100% sure of what I'd do unless it happened.

Avatar image for Boddicker
#21 Posted by Boddicker (4347 posts) -

No.

She cheated once, what's to stop her from doing it again.

I never understood the point of cheating. Just break up with your significant other because it's obvious they're not making you happy.

Avatar image for MW2ismygame
#22 Posted by MW2ismygame (2188 posts) -

Not a chance. You lied to me, betrayed my trust and by definition of cheating say that im not good enough for you.

You cheat on me and you get dropped like a bad habit, don't let the door hit your ass on the way out.

Avatar image for foxhound_fox
#23 Edited by foxhound_fox (97029 posts) -

@Master_Of_Fools said:

Depends. If she "cheated" on me with another chick I'd be fine with it lol. If it was with a dude I would need a very good reason to keep her, otherwise there's the door.

I mean no offence, but why the double standard? What about cheating with a woman makes it "okay" while another man is a problem? Most women who cheat do it emotionally, so to me, cheating with another woman would make me really question why she would want to be with me in the first place.

Avatar image for sammyjenkis898
#24 Posted by sammyjenkis898 (28392 posts) -

No.

Avatar image for ad1x2
#25 Posted by ad1x2 (6706 posts) -

@Master_Of_Fools: I know where your thought process is going, but unlike in a porno a woman cheating on you with another woman doesn't automatically mean they are going to let you watch or join in. You might just get kicked to the curb.

Avatar image for PcGamingRig
#26 Posted by PcGamingRig (7383 posts) -

nope because if you genuinely want to be with someone for a long time and care about them, you simply wouldn't do it.

Avatar image for KHAndAnime
#27 Edited by KHAndAnime (17565 posts) -

I was in a relationship with a girl for many years, and I've caught her cheating on me multiple times. The only reason I didn't leave her is because I cheated on her first, she caught me, and gave me another chance. We still see each other often and tell each other that we love each other, but I won't be in a relationship with her again. The only reason I'm so forgiving when it comes to this sort of thing is because it's really easy to see why people cheat, and it's also a complicated issue. It can come from provocation, insecurity, parental issues, history of rape and sexual abuse, etc. In this particular circumstance, she had been raped, so it's not as easy as just saying "bye".

I don't think the world is black and white, I don't believe that once someone is a cheater, they're always a cheater, and I think every one is capable of changing for the better. It's just really important to understand what caused the cheating in the first place, and then consider the possibility of it being an issue that will linger, or if it's something that can be fixed with an honest conversation. It's not worth throwing away a relationship you feel is worthwhile because your partner made a single mistake, but if there's any evidence that it won't be limited to a single mistake, sometimes you just have to accept it and move on.

Avatar image for daviddiorio
#28 Posted by daviddiorio (31 posts) -

@Mercenary848: no

Avatar image for -paranorman-
#29 Edited by -ParaNormaN- (1494 posts) -

People go back with these types of people for a lot of reasons. One is that there is more than meets the eye. Some people who beat their S/O have another side of them that appeals to the other person and that can cause the victim to keep forgiving the abuser for the beatings. Same goes with cheating, a persons feelings for that person could be really strong and they sort of go into a denial state or try to forget it ever happened.

I could just be talking out of my ass though since I've never been in a relationship so, don't listen to me.

Avatar image for VaguelyTagged
#30 Posted by VaguelyTagged (10701 posts) -

yes, but i would cheat on her from then on.

Avatar image for plageus900
#31 Edited by plageus900 (2437 posts) -

@Makhaidos said:

Yes, but only so I could have them close to me as I plot my elaborate and life-ruining revenge.

I like your style.

Avatar image for xxyetixx
#32 Posted by xxyetixx (2900 posts) -

Ok I say this this from first hand experience. The only thing that gets hurt by a girlfriend/wife when they cheat on you is your ego, and that's the part that wants made right again and why you even remotely think about taking the person back. I was married for 7 years, around the 5 year mark my ex wife and I weren't happy, we have 2 children together and that's basically why we were together. I woulda cheated on her if I had the chance but I work all the time. So she is the one that got that opportunity. I knew it could happen but never thought it would then I found out who it was with and was immediately floored. "why that guy, he's not better than me or an upgrade in any way" is all I could think. even though all that happened she played the keep me on the back burner game and we'd hook up from time to time till enough was enough and we finally divorced. But because of her shame and guilt we had a dissolution agreed to all our terms in the divorce and I got joint custody, shared parenting and a 50/50 split of the kids and their expense so no child support so I'm good ego is healed wouldn't be with this woman ever again.

Avatar image for Mercenary848
#33 Posted by Mercenary848 (11214 posts) -

A lot of good answers, I guess it all comes down to people change

Avatar image for johnd13
#34 Posted by johnd13 (9344 posts) -

No. Nothing would be the same after that.

Avatar image for Sword-Demon
#35 Posted by Sword-Demon (7007 posts) -

@VaguelyTagged said:

yes, but i would cheat on her from then on.

At that point, why bother?

Avatar image for xone_shotx91
#36 Posted by XOne_ShotX91 (152 posts) -

Ive been with my fiance for almost 4 years now, and we have a beautiful 2 year old boy together. If she cheated on me, I'd kick her ass out. The only time I'd ever see her is when it had something to do with our son. Birthdays, holidays, etc. Other than that, she could kiss my ass.

Avatar image for XilePrincess
#37 Posted by XilePrincess (13130 posts) -

A year ago my answer would be "no" with no ifs ands or buts, but things change.

I've been with my boyfriend almost 7 years. Earlier this year we hit a rough patch and things got really stressful. Lots of resentment, petty fights and minimal intimacy of any kind. Without going into a whole big story, we got into a huge fight one day, half made up afterwards, but he was still pissed and got wasted (which he knows is very much NOT an excuse) that night and made out with a friend of his sister's who was over. It was once, it was a mistake, and he will never do it again. Unless he wants to wake up in a bathtub full of ice missing some parts, that is.

To be honest, it improved our relationship. Would I say the same if he screwed her? No. I'd probably have 'accidentally' put a couple dents in his brand new car with a rock or a baseball bat.

But for what it was, it forced both of us to re-evaluate where the relationship was and where we wanted it to go. I will never forget about it, but I'm working past it.

Avatar image for The_Last_Ride
#38 Posted by The_Last_Ride (76371 posts) -

Don't really know, it's a tough one. It's easy to say no. But i might actually say yes.

Avatar image for Master_Of_Fools
#39 Posted by Master_Of_Fools (1651 posts) -

@foxhound_fox: Lesbians are hot. Knowing your chick did it with another chick would make me say damn invite me the next time. 3 some! lol

Avatar image for Master_Of_Fools
#40 Posted by Master_Of_Fools (1651 posts) -

@ad1x2: Doesn't matter. Still could say I did a lesbian lol.

Avatar image for chessmaster1989
#41 Edited by chessmaster1989 (30204 posts) -

Depends on the circumstances but I can certainly imagine scenarios where I'd give a cheating girlfriend a second chance

Avatar image for edwise18
#42 Posted by edwise18 (1533 posts) -

No. Cheat once and it's over.

Avatar image for VaguelyTagged
#43 Edited by VaguelyTagged (10701 posts) -

@Sword-Demon said:

@VaguelyTagged said:

yes, but i would cheat on her from then on.

At that point, why bother?

brutal butt sex with a cheating partner can be pleasing.

Avatar image for turtlethetaffer
#44 Posted by turtlethetaffer (18695 posts) -

I'd like to say hell no but the fact is that I'd likely be in love with her, and it's not easy to let go of someone you love regardless of what they do. I'd be massively pissed either way though, for sure.

Avatar image for gago-gago
#45 Edited by gago-gago (12048 posts) -

Everyone deserves a second chance. If the person cheats more than that, time to move on. Sometimes you need to go through tests to make the relationship stronger. No one and not a thing is perfect, aways remember that.

Avatar image for sukraj
#46 Posted by sukraj (27519 posts) -

No

Avatar image for Master_Live
#47 Posted by Master_Live (18821 posts) -

I don't think so.

Avatar image for Master_Live
#48 Posted by Master_Live (18821 posts) -

@gago-gago said:

Everyone deserves a second chance.

Is that so.

Avatar image for SOedipus
#49 Posted by SOedipus (10678 posts) -

I have just enough integrity and dignity to say no.

Avatar image for Jag85
#50 Edited by Jag85 (11378 posts) -

@sukraj said:

No