Would you take back a cheating girlfriend/boyfriend/spouse

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Mercenary848

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#1 Mercenary848
Member since 2007 • 12139 Posts

I have seen a lot of couples, bounce back but I know myself and if any of my girlfriends cheated on me i'm out. I do not understand the mindset of staying with someone who would betray you.

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deactivated-5d693385560c3

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#2 deactivated-5d693385560c3
Member since 2012 • 666 Posts

No. She cheats once and that would be it for me.

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Black_Alpha_G

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#3 Black_Alpha_G
Member since 2011 • 94 Posts

@Stranger_36 said:

No. She cheats once and that would be it for me.

.

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deactivated-5b1e62582e305

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#4 deactivated-5b1e62582e305
Member since 2004 • 30778 Posts

Nope.

I consider that a form of self hatred.

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Ballroompirate

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#5  Edited By Ballroompirate
Member since 2005 • 26695 Posts

Nope

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ad1x2

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#6  Edited By ad1x2
Member since 2005 • 8430 Posts

Different circumstances can change whether or not this would be a yes or no for certain people. For example, some men who were cheated on may stay with their wives if she is remorseful and they have kids together if for no other reason than her infidelity not being considered in custody agreements from the court.

Personally, I say that you don't know what you are going to do until it happens but chances are if you are married and in a no-fault state where adultery isn't grounds for divorce, it may be cheaper to keep her. With a girlfriend, less is invested in the relationship so **** 'em.

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GeekInkINC

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#7 GeekInkINC
Member since 2014 • 206 Posts

The most she'd get is a one nighter

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Assassin_87

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#8 Assassin_87
Member since 2004 • 2349 Posts

It depends on the situation, and I really don't know. I've got a wife who's been with me for years now, and I doubt I could accurately tell you what I would do if she cheated. Hard to say.

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foxhound_fox

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#9 foxhound_fox
Member since 2005 • 98532 Posts

Cheating involves lying and fooling around behind my back.

There is no amount of forgiveness that I could muster to overcome that.

If she wants to have an open relationship, or some sort of "group" experience, then we'll talk about it, consent and it'll be fine. Cheating is just bad all around.

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Sword-Demon

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#10 Sword-Demon
Member since 2008 • 7007 Posts

Absolutely not.

You can't possibly trust someone who has cheated on you, and you can't have a relationship with someone you don't trust.

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tocool340

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#11 tocool340
Member since 2004 • 21652 Posts

Depends on her excuse and how much I love her. Most likely though, we're done. I'm not interested in having a relationship with someone who betrayed my trust. There must be something broken in our relationship for her to do it once and if she couldn't be mature enough to tell me the problem or simply say "I think we should see other people", then there's really not much reason to savage that relationship. Time is precious and I'm not about to spend it on a broken relationship...

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lamprey263

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#12  Edited By lamprey263
Member since 2006 • 44553 Posts

If that happens she probably got knocked up and she's gonna pass the kid off as yours, say you'll need a 9 month trial period with no sex and see what happens.

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sailor232

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#13  Edited By sailor232
Member since 2003 • 6880 Posts

@foxhound_fox said:

Cheating involves lying and fooling around behind my back.

There is no amount of forgiveness that I could muster to overcome that.

If she wants to have an open relationship, or some sort of "group" experience, then we'll talk about it, consent and it'll be fine. Cheating is just bad all around.

This.

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Makhaidos

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#14 Makhaidos
Member since 2013 • 2162 Posts

Yes, but only so I could have them close to me as I plot my elaborate and life-ruining revenge.

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Darthkaiser

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#15  Edited By Darthkaiser
Member since 2006 • 12447 Posts

That's a tough question, it kinda depends on the circumstances at least to me

Say if I have kids and a family If I had to do it for the sake of the family then I "suppose", then again if she cheated maybe she didn't held family in such high regard

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Master_Of_Fools

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#16  Edited By Master_Of_Fools
Member since 2009 • 1651 Posts

Depends. If she "cheated" on me with another chick I'd be fine with it lol. If it was with a dude I would need a very good reason to keep her, otherwise there's the door.

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ShepardCommandr

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#17 ShepardCommandr
Member since 2013 • 4939 Posts

I can't take someone who is dead back......

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hippiesanta

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#18 hippiesanta
Member since 2005 • 10301 Posts

If still / even hotter than before .... why not..

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deactivated-5b797108c254e

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#20  Edited By deactivated-5b797108c254e
Member since 2013 • 11245 Posts

My gut reaction is "Absolutely not". If there are problems in a relationship, cheating is a sure fire way to permanently close doors. But while I'm still 99.9% sure I wouldn't take her back, I love my wife with everything I have, so I can't be 100% sure of what I'd do unless it happened.

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Boddicker

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#21 Boddicker
Member since 2012 • 4458 Posts

No.

She cheated once, what's to stop her from doing it again.

I never understood the point of cheating. Just break up with your significant other because it's obvious they're not making you happy.

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MW2ismygame

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#22 MW2ismygame
Member since 2010 • 2188 Posts

Not a chance. You lied to me, betrayed my trust and by definition of cheating say that im not good enough for you.

You cheat on me and you get dropped like a bad habit, don't let the door hit your ass on the way out.

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foxhound_fox

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#23  Edited By foxhound_fox
Member since 2005 • 98532 Posts

@Master_Of_Fools said:

Depends. If she "cheated" on me with another chick I'd be fine with it lol. If it was with a dude I would need a very good reason to keep her, otherwise there's the door.

I mean no offence, but why the double standard? What about cheating with a woman makes it "okay" while another man is a problem? Most women who cheat do it emotionally, so to me, cheating with another woman would make me really question why she would want to be with me in the first place.

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sammyjenkis898

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#24 sammyjenkis898
Member since 2007 • 28392 Posts

No.

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ad1x2

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#25 ad1x2
Member since 2005 • 8430 Posts

@Master_Of_Fools: I know where your thought process is going, but unlike in a porno a woman cheating on you with another woman doesn't automatically mean they are going to let you watch or join in. You might just get kicked to the curb.

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PcGamingRig

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#26 PcGamingRig
Member since 2009 • 7386 Posts

nope because if you genuinely want to be with someone for a long time and care about them, you simply wouldn't do it.

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KHAndAnime

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#27  Edited By KHAndAnime
Member since 2009 • 17565 Posts

I was in a relationship with a girl for many years, and I've caught her cheating on me multiple times. The only reason I didn't leave her is because I cheated on her first, she caught me, and gave me another chance. We still see each other often and tell each other that we love each other, but I won't be in a relationship with her again. The only reason I'm so forgiving when it comes to this sort of thing is because it's really easy to see why people cheat, and it's also a complicated issue. It can come from provocation, insecurity, parental issues, history of rape and sexual abuse, etc. In this particular circumstance, she had been raped, so it's not as easy as just saying "bye".

I don't think the world is black and white, I don't believe that once someone is a cheater, they're always a cheater, and I think every one is capable of changing for the better. It's just really important to understand what caused the cheating in the first place, and then consider the possibility of it being an issue that will linger, or if it's something that can be fixed with an honest conversation. It's not worth throwing away a relationship you feel is worthwhile because your partner made a single mistake, but if there's any evidence that it won't be limited to a single mistake, sometimes you just have to accept it and move on.

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daviddiorio

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#28 daviddiorio
Member since 2013 • 31 Posts

@Mercenary848: no

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-ParaNormaN-

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#29  Edited By -ParaNormaN-
Member since 2013 • 1573 Posts

People go back with these types of people for a lot of reasons. One is that there is more than meets the eye. Some people who beat their S/O have another side of them that appeals to the other person and that can cause the victim to keep forgiving the abuser for the beatings. Same goes with cheating, a persons feelings for that person could be really strong and they sort of go into a denial state or try to forget it ever happened.

I could just be talking out of my ass though since I've never been in a relationship so, don't listen to me.

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VaguelyTagged

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#30 VaguelyTagged
Member since 2009 • 10702 Posts

yes, but i would cheat on her from then on.

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plageus900

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#31  Edited By plageus900
Member since 2013 • 3065 Posts

@Makhaidos said:

Yes, but only so I could have them close to me as I plot my elaborate and life-ruining revenge.

I like your style.

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xxyetixx

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#32 xxyetixx
Member since 2004 • 3041 Posts

Ok I say this this from first hand experience. The only thing that gets hurt by a girlfriend/wife when they cheat on you is your ego, and that's the part that wants made right again and why you even remotely think about taking the person back. I was married for 7 years, around the 5 year mark my ex wife and I weren't happy, we have 2 children together and that's basically why we were together. I woulda cheated on her if I had the chance but I work all the time. So she is the one that got that opportunity. I knew it could happen but never thought it would then I found out who it was with and was immediately floored. "why that guy, he's not better than me or an upgrade in any way" is all I could think. even though all that happened she played the keep me on the back burner game and we'd hook up from time to time till enough was enough and we finally divorced. But because of her shame and guilt we had a dissolution agreed to all our terms in the divorce and I got joint custody, shared parenting and a 50/50 split of the kids and their expense so no child support so I'm good ego is healed wouldn't be with this woman ever again.

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Mercenary848

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#33 Mercenary848
Member since 2007 • 12139 Posts

A lot of good answers, I guess it all comes down to people change

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johnd13

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#34 johnd13
Member since 2011 • 11125 Posts

No. Nothing would be the same after that.

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Sword-Demon

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#35 Sword-Demon
Member since 2008 • 7007 Posts

@VaguelyTagged said:

yes, but i would cheat on her from then on.

At that point, why bother?

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XOne_ShotX91

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#36 XOne_ShotX91
Member since 2014 • 152 Posts

Ive been with my fiance for almost 4 years now, and we have a beautiful 2 year old boy together. If she cheated on me, I'd kick her ass out. The only time I'd ever see her is when it had something to do with our son. Birthdays, holidays, etc. Other than that, she could kiss my ass.

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XilePrincess

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#37 XilePrincess
Member since 2008 • 13130 Posts

A year ago my answer would be "no" with no ifs ands or buts, but things change.

I've been with my boyfriend almost 7 years. Earlier this year we hit a rough patch and things got really stressful. Lots of resentment, petty fights and minimal intimacy of any kind. Without going into a whole big story, we got into a huge fight one day, half made up afterwards, but he was still pissed and got wasted (which he knows is very much NOT an excuse) that night and made out with a friend of his sister's who was over. It was once, it was a mistake, and he will never do it again. Unless he wants to wake up in a bathtub full of ice missing some parts, that is.

To be honest, it improved our relationship. Would I say the same if he screwed her? No. I'd probably have 'accidentally' put a couple dents in his brand new car with a rock or a baseball bat.

But for what it was, it forced both of us to re-evaluate where the relationship was and where we wanted it to go. I will never forget about it, but I'm working past it.

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The_Last_Ride

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#38 The_Last_Ride
Member since 2004 • 76371 Posts

Don't really know, it's a tough one. It's easy to say no. But i might actually say yes.

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Master_Of_Fools

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#39 Master_Of_Fools
Member since 2009 • 1651 Posts

@foxhound_fox: Lesbians are hot. Knowing your chick did it with another chick would make me say damn invite me the next time. 3 some! lol

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Master_Of_Fools

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#40 Master_Of_Fools
Member since 2009 • 1651 Posts

@ad1x2: Doesn't matter. Still could say I did a lesbian lol.

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chessmaster1989

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#41  Edited By chessmaster1989
Member since 2008 • 30203 Posts

Depends on the circumstances but I can certainly imagine scenarios where I'd give a cheating girlfriend a second chance

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edwise18

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#42 edwise18
Member since 2008 • 1533 Posts

No. Cheat once and it's over.

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VaguelyTagged

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#43  Edited By VaguelyTagged
Member since 2009 • 10702 Posts

@Sword-Demon said:

@VaguelyTagged said:

yes, but i would cheat on her from then on.

At that point, why bother?

brutal butt sex with a cheating partner can be pleasing.

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turtlethetaffer

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#44 turtlethetaffer
Member since 2009 • 18973 Posts

I'd like to say hell no but the fact is that I'd likely be in love with her, and it's not easy to let go of someone you love regardless of what they do. I'd be massively pissed either way though, for sure.

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gago-gago

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#45  Edited By gago-gago
Member since 2009 • 12138 Posts

Everyone deserves a second chance. If the person cheats more than that, time to move on. Sometimes you need to go through tests to make the relationship stronger. No one and not a thing is perfect, aways remember that.

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sukraj

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#46 sukraj
Member since 2008 • 27859 Posts

No

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Master_Live

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#47 Master_Live
Member since 2004 • 20510 Posts

I don't think so.

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Master_Live

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#48 Master_Live
Member since 2004 • 20510 Posts

@gago-gago said:

Everyone deserves a second chance.

Is that so.

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SOedipus

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#49 SOedipus
Member since 2006 • 14801 Posts

I have just enough integrity and dignity to say no.

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Jag85

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#50  Edited By Jag85
Member since 2005 • 19543 Posts

@sukraj said:

No