Would you marry a woman who refused to take your last name?

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commonfate

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#1 commonfate
Member since 2010 • 13320 Posts

As the title indicates, I am wondering how many of you would marry a woman if she wanted to keep her last name. Also, to the ladies who are reading this post, do you care? Would it bother you to take his last name or not?

Being from the South that I am, I think it should be obvious as to what a lot of folks around here think. I once had a friend in high school, during a debate in English class, said he would never marry a woman who would not take his last name. His girlfriend of almost a year looked a bit shocked, disappointed and then proceeded to leave the classroom in tears. Needless, to say they are not together anymore. I also asked a female friend of mine what her thoughts were. She immediately and confidently responded with a profound yes. I asked her why and her reasoning was that (and I quote to the best of my memory) "In the [Christian] Bible it states that a man is ruler over his wife and the head of his household. It only makes sense to take his last name and I have no problem with it." Now do not turn this into a religous debate or if any and all religions are good and all that. Not this thread. That was merely her justification.

I personally do not care. If she wants to take my last name, then so be it. If she doesn't that is fine with her. The choice is of course hers.

So guys/gals what do you think?

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UniverseIX

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#2 UniverseIX
Member since 2011 • 989 Posts
probably won't get married
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JustPlainLucas

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#3 JustPlainLucas
Member since 2002 • 80441 Posts
I don't know.. I'm a traditionalist... it would get in the way, but I'm not sure if that would be the deciding factor of why I wouldn't marry her.
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battlefront23

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#4 battlefront23
Member since 2006 • 12625 Posts

I imagine that she would want to take my last name because she would want another way to be 'connected' to me. But honestly? It would probably bother me initially but I would eventually get over it.

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SolidSnake35

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#5 SolidSnake35
Member since 2005 • 58971 Posts
I wouldn't be happy about it... but it shouldn't be a problem in the greater scheme of things.
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194197844077667059316682358889

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#6 194197844077667059316682358889
Member since 2003 • 49173 Posts
Marrying a woman :lol:
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sonofsmeagle

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#7 sonofsmeagle
Member since 2010 • 4317 Posts

Well i think getting a chick to marry me would be the hard part,

As for taking my name, i hope she does.

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ff7fan2

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#8 ff7fan2
Member since 2006 • 31413 Posts
Don't care as long as my last name is on the kids' birth certificates.
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dagreenfish

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#9 dagreenfish
Member since 2010 • 1818 Posts
Of course I wouldn't. But then again, I don't want to get married.
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funsohng

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#10 funsohng
Member since 2005 • 29976 Posts
In my culture, women don't take their husband's name to begin with. I always thought it was a weird thing, wives taking their husband's name.
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horgen

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#11 horgen  Moderator
Member since 2006 • 127540 Posts
Not important... Maybe we take each others last names....
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mems_1224

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#12 mems_1224
Member since 2004 • 56919 Posts
i would prefer if she did but i dont think its something i would end a relationship over
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theone86

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#13 theone86
Member since 2003 • 22669 Posts

I think I'd rather she keep hers, taking the male's last name is a tradition I see as pretty mysogynestic.

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-Sun_Tzu-

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#14 -Sun_Tzu-
Member since 2007 • 17384 Posts
I really don't care...it's her name, not mine, it can be whatever she wants it to be.
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worlock77

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#15 worlock77
Member since 2009 • 22552 Posts

I don't care. While my wife sometimes uses my last name informally she still uses her name legally. Doesn't bother me one bit. She may be my spouse, but she's her own person and it's her right to use whatever name she chooses.

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koen57

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#16 koen57
Member since 2005 • 75 Posts
If a woman really likes her surname she should be able to keep it yes. Besides, who would cancel a marriage over something so small? anyway my 2 cents.
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tocool340

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#17 tocool340
Member since 2004 • 21654 Posts
Don't like the idea of getting married, but if I were to get married, I'd allow her to keep her last name so long as any kids I have with her inherit my last name...
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THGarrett

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#18 THGarrett
Member since 2003 • 2574 Posts

I personally wouldn't really care to be honest. I have to say that if something as small as that gives you pause to marry her, then you probably shouldn't be getting married in the first place.

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Buttons1990

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#19 Buttons1990
Member since 2009 • 3167 Posts

Sure so long as my kids took my last name...

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Cataclism

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#20 Cataclism
Member since 2007 • 1537 Posts

If I marry a woman, I don't want her to take my last name. That "tradition" makes no sense. My mother didn't take my father's name and they aren't any less happy for it.

Then again I don't fancy the idea of marriage either.

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ImaPirate0202

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#21 ImaPirate0202
Member since 2005 • 4473 Posts

We're gonna arm-wrestle over it.

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Silverbond

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#22 Silverbond
Member since 2008 • 16130 Posts

My last name is the best last name ever so I'd feel insulted to say the very least.

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commonfate

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#23 commonfate
Member since 2010 • 13320 Posts

My last name is the best last name ever so I'd feel insulted to say the very least.

Silverbond

Not gonna tell us? :P

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Dogswithguns

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#24 Dogswithguns
Member since 2007 • 11359 Posts
I never liked the idea of having my last name just bcuz she married me....
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Blue_Shield

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#25 Blue_Shield
Member since 2010 • 2610 Posts

To me, it seems like one of those dumb traditions, right up there with the father giving away the bride. Seems dated. Seems sexist.

Plus, I do not really care for my family name, regardless.

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mrmusicman247

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#26 mrmusicman247
Member since 2008 • 17601 Posts
Yes if we weren't going to have kids. No if we were.
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kussese

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#27 kussese
Member since 2008 • 1555 Posts

As long as my kids take my last name, I won't have a fit over hers. It's something I'd like to happen (and I guess I'm traditional in that sense) but it's not going to be a deciding factor.

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jimmyjammer69

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#28 jimmyjammer69
Member since 2008 • 12239 Posts

To me, it seems like one of those dumb traditions, right up there with the father giving away the bride. Seems dated. Seems sexist.

Plus, I do not really care for my family name, regardless.

Blue_Shield

Now, I'm not a big believer in marriage, but isn't marriage all about making concessions to tradition - accepting burdens as a symbol of commitment? You take the weight from her shoulders, and in exchange, she takes your load too. A name is just a word, even when it's an unpalatable one, or a bit of a mouthful. If your partner can't swallow that, then maybe she just isn't the marrying kind.

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garathe_den

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#29 garathe_den
Member since 2008 • 1427 Posts

If a woman didn't want to take a ridiculous last name, such as "Horney" (pronounced "horn) or a name I cannot even write in GS because it gets censored (Sheila Dik****, chief minister of Delhi) then would it not be understandable?

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BigBoss154

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#30 BigBoss154
Member since 2009 • 2956 Posts

I'd be honored. I would never put my ridiculous last name on any women.

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DeX2010

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#31 DeX2010
Member since 2010 • 3989 Posts
I wouldn't care, after all its her that will have to use the name so its her choice; it doesn't concern me whatsoever.
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lightleggy

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#32 lightleggy
Member since 2008 • 16090 Posts
in my country, married women dont take their husbands name, they retain theirs. the children have 2 surnames, the first one is the one from the father and the second one from the mother...im garro aguilar. garro is my father's last name and aguilar is my mother's
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ToastRider11

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#33 ToastRider11
Member since 2010 • 2573 Posts

No, she wouldn't feel like my wife.

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Grodus5

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#34 Grodus5
Member since 2006 • 7934 Posts

Seems like a really silly thing to fret over. If she wants to use my name, great, if she wants to keep her name, thats fine as well.

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tofu-lion91

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#35 tofu-lion91
Member since 2008 • 13496 Posts
If I ever get married I doubt I'll take my partner's name. I changed my surname by deed poll a year or so ago (taking my mum's maiden name) and I've still not informed everyone yet (bank etc). I'm not going through all this flapping about again, plus I like my surname :)
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-Shooter-

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#36 -Shooter-
Member since 2006 • 4295 Posts

If loved her enough to marry her, I wouldn't care about it.

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weezyfb

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#37 weezyfb
Member since 2009 • 14703 Posts
in my my families culture the women keep there name
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zombehhhhh

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#38 zombehhhhh
Member since 2011 • 456 Posts
Well, I mean, movie stars rarely change their last names when they get married. It would be nice to not have them worry about that but I would understand if they didn't want to change it.
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deactivated-6016f2513d412

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#39 deactivated-6016f2513d412
Member since 2007 • 20414 Posts
I don't intend to ever get married, but if I do, I might actually keep my last name. I always imagined myself taking the man's name, but now that I've realized that I really don't want children, I don't really see why I would want to change my name. It's been my name for a long time. This doesn't really matter though since I don't intend to get married and I doubt anyone would ever want to marry me anyway.
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tofu-lion91

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#40 tofu-lion91
Member since 2008 • 13496 Posts
I don't intend to ever get married, but if I do, I might actually keep my last name. I always imagined myself taking the man's name, but now that I've realized that I really don't want children, I don't really see why I would want to change my name. It's been my name for a long time. This doesn't really matter though since I don't intend to get married and I doubt anyone would ever want to marry me anyway.t3hrubikscube
I'd marry you :D
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commonfate

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#41 commonfate
Member since 2010 • 13320 Posts

Well, I mean, movie stars rarely change their last names when they get married. It would be nice to not have them worry about that but I would understand if they didn't want to change it.zombehhhhh

What do movie stars have to do with the issue of a last name? O.o

I don't get it.

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Shenmue_Jehuty

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#42 Shenmue_Jehuty
Member since 2007 • 5211 Posts

Who cars? If you love each other, her last name doesn't matter.

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howlrunner13

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#43 howlrunner13
Member since 2005 • 4408 Posts

Whoever I marry will take my last name. It's just tradition.

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deactivated-6016f2513d412

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#44 deactivated-6016f2513d412
Member since 2007 • 20414 Posts
[QUOTE="t3hrubikscube"]I don't intend to ever get married, but if I do, I might actually keep my last name. I always imagined myself taking the man's name, but now that I've realized that I really don't want children, I don't really see why I would want to change my name. It's been my name for a long time. This doesn't really matter though since I don't intend to get married and I doubt anyone would ever want to marry me anyway.tofu-lion91
I'd marry you :D

I am flattered! :3
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Lonelynight

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#45 Lonelynight
Member since 2006 • 30051 Posts
I don't see why not.
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coltgames

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#46 coltgames
Member since 2009 • 2120 Posts
nope
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KeitekeTokage

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#47 KeitekeTokage
Member since 2011 • 770 Posts
I'd really try to get her to, but it wouldn't be a deal breaker. I think the more important question here is whether or not she expects our children (assuming we have some) to take her last name rather than mine. I think that would be a problem...
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giovannimcc

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#48 giovannimcc
Member since 2011 • 132 Posts

My last name is not good, so I would rather my kids had a better name.

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WSGRandomPerson

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#49 WSGRandomPerson
Member since 2007 • 13697 Posts
Yes, really doesn't matter to me; I don't even like my last name. (Technically adopted.)
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Blue-Sky

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#50 Blue-Sky
Member since 2005 • 10381 Posts

I hate my last name. So yes.