Would you marry a woman 10 years older than you ?

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#1 Edited by indzman (27381 posts) -

One of my gym buddies is in a fix, he is having a romantic relationship with a woman and vice versa at his workplace secretly ten years his senior , she is also a with a baby girl. Husband died in accident few years back and she lives with her mom and kid is in kindergarten. They are having romance , sex now the woman wants this relationship to be more strong as she needs support.My freind is 26 and woman is 36 + .Good thing woman saying my freind has to pay nothing to care for her and her girl as she is earning well.

My freinds parents are strictly against this , i also advised my freind to not marry in impulse, now he is angry with me also for not supporting him. I advised for his and the womans best interest as he might get fed up later on for age difference.

What would you suggest in this situation ? please advise OT :)

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#2 Edited by cdragon_88 (1528 posts) -

no big deal with an older women when the gap is not that far. If she was 60 and he was 25 then yea it would be a problem. Overall though, its his choice.

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#3 Edited by Master_Live (18815 posts) -

"My friends parents are strictly against this", well the dude is 26. The woman has a kid already, I would try to avoid that but if they love each other then they should tie the knot.

How long have they been seeing each other?

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#4 Edited by indzman (27381 posts) -

@Master_Live said:

"My friends parents are strictly against this", well the dude is 26. The woman has a kid already, I would try to avoid that but if they love each other then they should tie the knot.

How long have they been seeing each other?

One year tops i guess.Woman is working in same office for long time now tho.

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#5 Posted by Sword-Demon (7007 posts) -

How long have they been together?

If I was in love with someone 10 years older than me and wanted to spend the rest of my life with her, then why would I let our age difference stop me?

@indzman said:

I advised for his and the womans best interest as he might get fed up later on for age difference.

That's just stupid. If age was a factor to him, then he wouldn't be seeing her in the first place, much less thinking about marriage.

I don't understand how it's the age thing you're hung up on, rather than the fact that she already has a kid; if there's anything that will strain their relationship, it's that.

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#6 Posted by indzman (27381 posts) -

@Sword-Demon said:

How long have they been together?

If I was in love with someone 10 years older than me and wanted to spend the rest of my life with her, then why would I let our age difference stop me?

@indzman said:

I advised for his and the womans best interest as he might get fed up later on for age difference.

That's just stupid. If age was a factor to him, then he wouldn't be seeing her in the first place, much less thinking about marriage.

I don't understand how it's the age thing you're hung up on, rather than the fact that she already has a kid; if there's anything that will strain their relationship, it's that.

Yeah , all things considered from my point. If my freind is happy i guess it matters most then. I just hope no compliactions arise later on :(

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#7 Edited by AmazonTreeBoa (16745 posts) -

Only if she was really rich.

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#8 Posted by Praisedasun (504 posts) -

@AmazonTreeBoa said:

Only if she was really rich.

That's the spirit.

Anyway, I wouldn't. Too old for me, and my parents would go mental.

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#9 Posted by Ballroompirate (25866 posts) -

I was in a relationship with a woman who was 7 years older than me, so an extra 3 years wouldn't bother me but it depends on the person.

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#10 Posted by vl4d_l3nin (1093 posts) -

I had my child w a woman who was 16 years older than me, but I'm not religious and I see no point in marriage.

"honey, what would be the best way to show our loving solidarity towards each other?"

"let's get the government involved!"

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#11 Edited by korvus (10684 posts) -

I wouldn't have a problem with it. And in this particular situation I don't think her age would be the problematic part either (if there's even a problem)...from what you wrote:

"One of my gym buddies is in a fix"

"i also advised my freind to not marry in impulse, now he is angry with me also for not supporting him."

It seems he's fine with his situation and you're the one seeing it as a problem.

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#12 Edited by elkoldo (1775 posts) -

You know basically I find the idea that "the boy should be older than the girl" so goddamn irrational.I mean ,no one, I emphasize, NO ONE , would dread the marriage if boy is older than the girl (whether the difference is one day or 20 years), but if it goes the opposite way ,everyone tend to slam it, and that's for no reason.

So here's my opinion ; A couple consisting of a boy and a girl who is older than the boy(no matter how much older) can be just as happily married as a couple consisting of a girl and a boy who's older than the girl (no matter how much older).

The rest is bull**** and you know it.

So give them my regards.

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#13 Posted by korvus (10684 posts) -

@elkoldo: Cheers!

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#14 Edited by Dogswithguns (11359 posts) -

Some dudes liked older women... I don't, but that's just me.

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#15 Posted by Skyz_ (56 posts) -

10 years isn't that bad, and he's 26... Not like he's still a kid. So if he wants to go for it he should, I don't see why it would be an issue.

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#16 Posted by mccoyca112 (5434 posts) -

Speaking from an experience quite similar, I'd say what he has is great, but do not rush into anything. Not everyone is the same though, so maybe, just maybe, it'll work with no regrets.

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#17 Posted by uninspiredcup (24962 posts) -

Na, age has taken it's toll by then.

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#18 Posted by Wilfred_Owen (20964 posts) -

Just bring a walker into the room and gauge her reaction then you'll know for sure if shes a keeper.

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#19 Posted by KiIIyou (27180 posts) -

If hes gonna get fed up with it all later then he can deal with it all then, aint gonna get anything done at all if you're worried about what-ifs constantly

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#20 Posted by indzman (27381 posts) -

Thanks for all the responses guys , its upto my freind to decide whats best for him. I'm not against it anymore :)

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#21 Posted by SOedipus (10312 posts) -

If she was hot and had lots of money I would.

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#22 Posted by johnd13 (9264 posts) -

I don't think it's that big an age difference so as long as he's given it serious consideration and he really loves her then he should go for it.

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#23 Posted by brimmul777 (3321 posts) -

I don't see the big issue,it's only 10 years older.But hey,that's me.

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#24 Edited by tocool340 (21117 posts) -

Well, 10 years older isn't a big deal right now since she'd be 34 years old. As long as she fits my criteria of an ideal women I'd marry (Personality, looks, similar interest and hobbies), sure...

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#25 Posted by The_Last_Ride (76371 posts) -

I don't see the issue at all, there is never a problem when it's the other way around unless the girl is under 18 now is there?

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#26 Posted by bobaban (10560 posts) -

It's good now but It would be dumb to marry her. In another 10 years she'll be 46 and then age will have really taken its toll. While he'll be 36 and could be banging young girls.

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#27 Posted by hippiesanta (10299 posts) -

one of my cousin age 41 and a househusband .... (who have 3 kids and a wife 10 years older who work as a nurse to support the whole family) recently make an announcement to his wife that he secretly married another woman ... lol

his wife is so mad and chase him out of the house .. lol

conclusion: a man will find another partner when his wife started to look like ellen degeneres

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#28 Edited by indzman (27381 posts) -

@bobaban said:

It's good now but It would be dumb to marry her. In another 10 years she'll be 46 and then age will have really taken its toll. While he'll be 36 and could be banging young girls.

Thats wut i was worried about

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#30 Posted by Diablo-B (4063 posts) -

The age isn't a problem. I would be hesitant to marry a woman with a kid. But given that she is a widow I font think even that is a deal breaker. Unless she is a bad person let him be

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#31 Posted by deactivated-598fc45371265 (13247 posts) -

@elkoldo said:

I emphasize, NO ONE , would dread the marriage if boy is older than the girl (whether the difference is one day or 20 years),

Lol, no.