Why don't girls ever go for nice guys?

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Tigerman950

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#1 Tigerman950
Member since 2005 • 2504 Posts

I've realized that nearly all the girls I've liked who rejected me or turned me down would say, whenever I'd hear what they would say about me it would always be the same thing (and they'd tell me it directly too): that I'm a "really nice guy." They'd willingly tell me that I deserve a great girl or would open up to me with whatever problems they have and I'd always listen and give helpful words but none of that ever seems to help me in progressing things with them.

The thing is, if I'm such a nice guy then what's so wrong with taking a chance with me? I can assure you I'd never hurt or offend or cheat on a girl, or ever take advantage of her sexually or anything like that. Is it because I'm not hot/muscular/popular like the guys they tend to go for, or is the kindness a turn-off? Particularly with the girl I've last liked (still kind of do) that I'm good friends with, she rejected me twice--both for junior and senior prom--but always thought of me as a "really nice guy" that "any girl would go for." I'm not trying to sound snobby or mean but if she thinks that then why isn't she one of them?

What's so wrong with being a nice guy and treating girls properly?

EDIT: Assuming I can speak for myself on this, I wouldn't say that I'm a pushover or doormat or "spineless" when around people, much less the girl I'm referring to. Strangely enough, my friends have told me that I tend to act even more outgoing or humorous when I'm around her, which I guess is a plus, and I have made her laugh on more than one occasion (at least once every time I see her). I've never been afraid to disagree with her on any subject, we've had our friendly debates/arguments but it's never turned sour; they usually end in a good laugh for the both of us. Maybe I'm not giving enough information here by saying I'm just a "nice guy" but really the only reason for her rejecting me that I can think of is that I'm too good of friends with her, which is another issue entirely.

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MrPraline

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#2 MrPraline
Member since 2008 • 21351 Posts
Is this high school? If so: those girls are f*cking silliness defined anyway.
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British_Azimio

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#3 British_Azimio
Member since 2007 • 2459 Posts
I think it's the result of an even bigger problem that had brewing for a while.
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KiIIyou

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#4 KiIIyou
Member since 2006 • 27197 Posts
If that's all you have than it's good for a friend but I think you need more for something more. ;p
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Pittfan666

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#5 Pittfan666
Member since 2003 • 8638 Posts
I've been on this Earth 23 years and I still haven't figured the solution to the problem. Nice guys like myself are destined to be forever alone.
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Ackad

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#6 Ackad
Member since 2005 • 3183 Posts

They will eventually. When women start to mature, they're going to choose the well-grown and mature men that are nice and innocent; as opposed to the sophomoric. Time is what's going to change them. However, if you're a complete doormat, that's another thing.

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FMAB_GTO

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#7 FMAB_GTO
Member since 2010 • 14385 Posts
That's not true,i know that because i did that myself :3
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Bucked20

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#8 Bucked20
Member since 2011 • 6651 Posts
They do,just have a backbone
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JML897

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#9 JML897
Member since 2004 • 33134 Posts

I prefer women who have a "bad side" to them. I don't know why I prefer it but I get why some women would feel the same way.

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Hate_Squad

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#10 Hate_Squad
Member since 2007 • 1357 Posts

They will eventually. When women start to mature, they're going to choose the well-grown and mature men that are nice and innocent; as opposed to the sophomoric. Time is what's going to change them. However, if you're a complete doormat, that's another thing.

Ackad

nope,they dont change their tastes,they just compromise,they go after after nice and boring/safe guys to raise their kids,cause bad boys are more likely to cheat on them.of course even if they get married to nice guys they still lust after the rebel biker next door

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Tigerman950

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#11 Tigerman950
Member since 2005 • 2504 Posts

If that's all you have than it's good for a friend but I think you need more for something more. ;pKiIIyou

I mean they've told me that I'm funny and that I'm fun to be around. Hopefully that's all true but if it is, do you think that would help as well?

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Riverwolf007

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#12 Riverwolf007
Member since 2005 • 26023 Posts

it is not true at all that girls don't like nice guys, they just can't stand pu*$ys.

if your definition of nice is being some girls doormat you will never get anywhere with her.

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AussieePet

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#13 AussieePet
Member since 2010 • 11424 Posts
My bf is a nice guy , plus saying GIRLS as in all girls is sexist , you should say SOME GIRLS stop judging people by their gender goshers
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Victorious_Fize

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#14 Victorious_Fize
Member since 2011 • 6128 Posts
Sometimes, the nice guy lack serious spine. Sometimes, the girl wants someone she can work for, i.e when someone is far from wanting to settle down and the likes, if she can manage him to become committed and serious, she obviously only have herself to commend. Nice guys are usually willing to give out the love for about any girl, some girls like winning their love, not taking it from someone nice enough to do it.
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zeldaluff

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#15 zeldaluff
Member since 2008 • 3387 Posts

Kindness is not a turn-off. Being a doormat is though...are you a doormat?

Now go consult many of the other exact same threads that will give you the exact same answers.

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Ackad

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#16 Ackad
Member since 2005 • 3183 Posts

[QUOTE="Ackad"]

They will eventually. When women start to mature, they're going to choose the well-grown and mature men that are nice and innocent; as opposed to the sophomoric. Time is what's going to change them. However, if you're a complete doormat, that's another thing.

Hate_Squad

nope,they dont change their tastes,they just compromise,they go after after nice and boring/safe guys to raise their kids,cause bad boys are more likely to cheat on them.of course even if they get married to nice guys they still lust after the rebel biker next door

Isn't that the point of maturing though? They'll come to a realization.
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Communist_Soul

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#17 Communist_Soul
Member since 2009 • 3080 Posts

They don't like you, just because you're nice to them doesn't mean they have to date you.

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Michael0134567

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#18 Michael0134567
Member since 2008 • 28651 Posts
I've been on this Earth 23 years and I still haven't figured the solution to the problem. Nice guys like myself are destined to be forever alone.Pittfan666
I feel the same way,but I'm only 17.
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kingkong0124

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#19 kingkong0124
Member since 2012 • 8329 Posts

because many nice guys are not confident.

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Riverwolf007

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#20 Riverwolf007
Member since 2005 • 26023 Posts

[QUOTE="Pittfan666"]I've been on this Earth 23 years and I still haven't figured the solution to the problem. Nice guys like myself are destined to be forever alone.Michael0134567
I feel the same way,but I'm only 17.

lol, welp guess what? someday there will be a woman in your life for a few years and you will wish you were alone.

mark my words.

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British_Azimio

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#21 British_Azimio
Member since 2007 • 2459 Posts
I've been on this Earth 23 years and I still haven't figured the solution to the problem. Nice guys like myself are destined to be forever alone.Pittfan666
That's a load of nonsense. Better get to figuring out.
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Ugalde-

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#22 Ugalde-
Member since 2009 • 3711 Posts
You need to be nice but super confident with yourself.
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Michael0134567

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#23 Michael0134567
Member since 2008 • 28651 Posts

[QUOTE="Michael0134567"][QUOTE="Pittfan666"]I've been on this Earth 23 years and I still haven't figured the solution to the problem. Nice guys like myself are destined to be forever alone.Riverwolf007

I feel the same way,but I'm only 17.

lol, welp guess what? someday there will be a woman in your life for a few years and you will wish you were alone.

mark my words.

I hate being alone right now.I would love to have someone I can connect with.
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ZumaJones07

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#24 ZumaJones07
Member since 2005 • 16457 Posts
you can be a nice guy all you want, but if you act like a fcking doormat then you won't get any tail
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Suzy_Q_Kazoo

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#25 Suzy_Q_Kazoo
Member since 2010 • 9899 Posts

It depends..Are you "nice" as in you lack confidence, initiative and are a doormat? Even if you are genuinely nice, and not in the aforementioned way, there still needs to be some amount of attraction in the first place for a girl to "go" for you. As you get older the options tend to get better, so don't worry too much about it.

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punkpunker

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#26 punkpunker
Member since 2006 • 3383 Posts

it is not true at all that girls don't like nice guys, they just can't stand pu*$ys.

if your definition of nice is being some girls doormat you will never get anywhere with her.

Riverwolf007

^this

most of the time, nice guys are wussies and seriously lacking spine to standup for himself. I'm initially a nice guy and girls dont get near me but as time progress, i show my true colours by being quiet and sprinkel some d*ck attitude, now girls ask me questions that i can answer just to hear me talk.

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ActicEdge

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#27 ActicEdge
Member since 2008 • 24492 Posts

Girls are confusing but ultimately you shouldn't change any aspect of yourself just to get some girl. I would say though that I have found that if you give a girl everything she could want as a friend, they probably don't have any real reason to date you. (harsh I know) Be yourself but just be aware that if they can get anything out of you now, they aren't exactly going to see the benefits of complicating the relationship.

Edit: I'm probably more sympathetic of your situation than most but really, nice guys really do finish last if they aren't willing to get what they want. You can be nice and at the same time aggresive about getting what you want. Just don't lose your defining qualities in the process and you'll be fine. Oh and find someone outside your immediate friend group, you are about as good as friend zoned their haha. Oh and last thing, any girl that will tell you you are a great person and you will find a great significant other is just straight up not worth your time. If they can't tell you the truth (that type of comment is so undermining) you should look else where.

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VaguelyTagged

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#28 VaguelyTagged
Member since 2009 • 10701 Posts

they do,they just happen to be having different definitions of "nice".

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PC360Wii

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#29 PC360Wii
Member since 2007 • 4658 Posts
Right ok, speaking as someone who use to think exactly like that, heres the reality check for you. NICE GUY = Boring. Just like "just a NICe GIRL" would be boring to you. There has to be some click, some adreniline, some banter, some competition.... just something that causes a spark..... you dont get a partner just by being nice. No this doesnt mean you have to be a jerk in ANYWAY. You say your nice, more like a little quiet p*ssy that just says all the nice things, and stays timid towards said girls. WHY WOULD ANYONE WANT A PARTNER LIKE THAT?
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#30 funtimez12345
Member since 2012 • 343 Posts

most self-proclaimed "nice guys" are really just guys with no strong opinions/convictions and with no backbone who lets girls walk all over them. They are too afraid to make a sexual move and don't express themselves sexually. That is not what a man should be and so it's very unnatractive to girls.

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PC360Wii

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#31 PC360Wii
Member since 2007 • 4658 Posts

most self-proclaimed "nice guys" are really just guys with no strong opinions/convictions and with no backbone who lets girls walk all over them. They are too afraid to make a sexual move and don't express themselves sexually. That is not what a man should be and so it's very unnatractive to girls.

funtimez12345
This. Explained much better than I did.
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markop2003

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#32 markop2003
Member since 2005 • 29917 Posts
Just because apparently you're a nice guy and girls don't go for you dosn't mean girls don't go for nice guys. At no point did your friend say you were attractive just that you were nice, all that really means is that she didn't want to offend you. If you want a GF then don't be a doormat, don't put girls up on a pedestal and try to become more attractive. Also you should realise that you are never going to get anywhere by trying to date your friends...
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l-lord

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#33 l-lord
Member since 2009 • 853 Posts

Maybe youre ugly?

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taterfrickintot

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#34 taterfrickintot
Member since 2008 • 2851 Posts

there is a difference between being a nice guy and a boring gutless kiss-ass.

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Princess_Lime

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#35 Princess_Lime
Member since 2010 • 429 Posts
Outside of high-school all I ever go for is nice guys.
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deactivated-5b1e62582e305

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#36 deactivated-5b1e62582e305
Member since 2004 • 30778 Posts

lol at "nice guys". ITT: naive teens

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#37 Princess_Lime
Member since 2010 • 429 Posts

I've realized that nearly all the girls I've liked rejected me or turned me down and at the same time, whenever I'd hear what they would say about me it would always be the same thing (and they'd tell me it directly too): that I'm a "really nice guy." They'd willingly tell me that I deserve a great girl or would open up to me with whatever problems they have and I'd always listen and give helpful words but none of that ever seems to help me in progressing things with them.

The thing is, if I'm such a nice guy then what's so wrong with taking a chance with me? I can assure you I'd never hurt or offend or cheat on a girl, or ever take advantage of her sexually or anything like that. Is it because I'm not hot/muscular/popular like the guys they tend to go for, or is the kindness a turn-off? Particularly with the girl I've last liked (still kind of do) that I'm good friends with, she rejected me twice--both for junior and senior prom--but always thought of me as a "really nice guy" that "any girl would go for." I'm not trying to sound snobby or mean but if she thinks that then why isn't she one of them?

What's so wrong with being a nice guy and treating girls properly?

Tigerman950
Pics?
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TwoFace-BS

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#38 TwoFace-BS
Member since 2011 • 9531 Posts
Because you are annoying them
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TehFuneral

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#39 TehFuneral
Member since 2007 • 8237 Posts

Because most girls are crazy manipulative b!tches.

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Tigerman950

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#40 Tigerman950
Member since 2005 • 2504 Posts

[QUOTE="Tigerman950"]

I've realized that nearly all the girls I've liked rejected me or turned me down and at the same time, whenever I'd hear what they would say about me it would always be the same thing (and they'd tell me it directly too): that I'm a "really nice guy." They'd willingly tell me that I deserve a great girl or would open up to me with whatever problems they have and I'd always listen and give helpful words but none of that ever seems to help me in progressing things with them.

The thing is, if I'm such a nice guy then what's so wrong with taking a chance with me? I can assure you I'd never hurt or offend or cheat on a girl, or ever take advantage of her sexually or anything like that. Is it because I'm not hot/muscular/popular like the guys they tend to go for, or is the kindness a turn-off? Particularly with the girl I've last liked (still kind of do) that I'm good friends with, she rejected me twice--both for junior and senior prom--but always thought of me as a "really nice guy" that "any girl would go for." I'm not trying to sound snobby or mean but if she thinks that then why isn't she one of them?

What's so wrong with being a nice guy and treating girls properly?

Princess_Lime

Pics?

Well, this could be the real reason. I wouldn't say I'm the ugliest in the world but I'm definitely somewhere below average. Feel free to disagree, hahaha.

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Nengo_Flow

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#41 Nengo_Flow
Member since 2011 • 10644 Posts
I've been on this Earth 23 years and I still haven't figured the solution to the problem. Nice guys like myself are destined to be forever alone.Pittfan666
this. But Im not that "Yes man" and overly nice that creeps guys out after a while. Im that chilled relax nice guy with a bit of swag as well
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CptJSparrow

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#42 CptJSparrow
Member since 2007 • 10897 Posts
Doing nice things for girls does not create attraction. Making them work for you, taking two steps forward and one step back, creating sexual tension, these things are attractive. Putting her down while simultaneously complementing her instead of always saying nice things, giving her what she wants but never how she wants it, being a typical guy and taking risks, these things make you attractive. Also when you get the hunch they like you, the two week rule really does apply. Another thing is that you have to be respected by other men and have confidence. You don't have to be a social butterfly, a leader of the pack or what have you, but you have to be outgoing and sociable and looked up to or hated. When someone says that a girl likes an "alpha male" it's really about his social standing. And NEVER tell her about your feelings. Some things are just implied.
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Bucked20

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#43 Bucked20
Member since 2011 • 6651 Posts

[QUOTE="Princess_Lime"][QUOTE="Tigerman950"]

I've realized that nearly all the girls I've liked rejected me or turned me down and at the same time, whenever I'd hear what they would say about me it would always be the same thing (and they'd tell me it directly too): that I'm a "really nice guy." They'd willingly tell me that I deserve a great girl or would open up to me with whatever problems they have and I'd always listen and give helpful words but none of that ever seems to help me in progressing things with them.

The thing is, if I'm such a nice guy then what's so wrong with taking a chance with me? I can assure you I'd never hurt or offend or cheat on a girl, or ever take advantage of her sexually or anything like that. Is it because I'm not hot/muscular/popular like the guys they tend to go for, or is the kindness a turn-off? Particularly with the girl I've last liked (still kind of do) that I'm good friends with, she rejected me twice--both for junior and senior prom--but always thought of me as a "really nice guy" that "any girl would go for." I'm not trying to sound snobby or mean but if she thinks that then why isn't she one of them?

What's so wrong with being a nice guy and treating girls properly?

Tigerman950

Pics?

Well, this could be the real reason. I wouldn't say I'm the ugliest in the world but I'm definitely somewhere below average. Feel free to disagree, hahaha.

You need a haircut and what the hell is on your head
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Michael0134567

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#44 Michael0134567
Member since 2008 • 28651 Posts

Maybe youre ugly?

l-lord
I'm not ugly.
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michael_1234576

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#45 michael_1234576
Member since 2004 • 8631 Posts
Girls don't reject me because I'm nice, they reject me because I'm boring.
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Tigerman950

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#46 Tigerman950
Member since 2005 • 2504 Posts

[QUOTE="Tigerman950"]

[QUOTE="Princess_Lime"] Pics?Bucked20

Well, this could be the real reason. I wouldn't say I'm the ugliest in the world but I'm definitely somewhere below average. Feel free to disagree, hahaha.

You need a haircut and what the hell is on your head

Baseball cap, that's what messed my hair up. Weird since without it my hair never looks like that...

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Mcspanky37

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#47 Mcspanky37
Member since 2010 • 1693 Posts
Girls like nice guys. If you think your problem is that you're too nice - trust me, your problems lie elsewhere.
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Bucked20

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#48 Bucked20
Member since 2011 • 6651 Posts

[QUOTE="Bucked20"][QUOTE="Tigerman950"]

Well, this could be the real reason. I wouldn't say I'm the ugliest in the world but I'm definitely somewhere below average. Feel free to disagree, hahaha.

Tigerman950

You need a haircut and what the hell is on your head

Baseball cap, that's what messed my hair up. Weird since without it my hair never looks like that...

Just get a cut and you'll be good,keep that hat off too
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Tigerman950

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#49 Tigerman950
Member since 2005 • 2504 Posts

[QUOTE="Tigerman950"]

[QUOTE="Bucked20"] You need a haircut and what the hell is on your headBucked20

Baseball cap, that's what messed my hair up. Weird since without it my hair never looks like that...

Just get a cut and you'll be good,keep that hat off too

I don't wear the hat (since I lost it, lol) but my hair looks completely different right now so I'm not sure how to respond. I'll probably get it cut soon enough anyway, since it's been a while.

However, I was mainly referring to my face in the photo. I meant, hair/hat/clothing aside, whether my face could be considered at least sort of "attractive."

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Agent-Zero

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#50 Agent-Zero
Member since 2009 • 6198 Posts
They do, you probably just ugly.