Who here hates masculinity?

I goof here (have been on the boards 20 years!) quite often...and one of the things I've noticed is that a good amount of people hate my picture, associating it with some kind of masculinity. This masculinity seems to be a negative for a number of people. I'm just curious how many gamers aren't fond of masculinity.

What's funny is that pic is so old...I'm way bigger now (240...maybe 205/210 in that picture). Is it inherent that a lot of gamers don't like muscle? I'm just curious because I'll tease console gamers (I'm a pc mostly guy, but own 2 xbones and 1 ps4) and it seems a lot of their retorts have something to do with me being a "tough" guy or some such nonsense. Especially as it's not anything I ever bring up. It seems masculinity bothers some people.

First rule of masculinity is you don't talk about masculinity.

@demi0227_basic: Well everyone knows PC gamers are less masculine.

@bmanva: Good point. I don't think of myself as especially masculine...I just find it interesting some people get so angry because of a picture I'm too lazy/don't care to change.

I hate obnoxious masculinity. Nothing wrong with being a man, but when you have to work so hard to PROVE you're a man... then that's obnoxious masculinity. Also, nothing wrong with being buff. Just don't make it a point to show how buff you are to everyone all the time.

I don't care. And muscles are not a sign of masculinity either. So, whatever.

This. Unless you're a tool.

i hate your picture because it looks like your head stops just above your eyebrows and you have no ears.

plus there is some shit on the bottom of your chin you forgot to wipe off :P

I always thought you looked diesel in that pic. I've been lifting for decades, currently 6'4" 280 lbs. Nothing but respect for other lifters, especially guys who take the time to do it without steroids. Being a life long natty isn't always easy.

Seems that some of the younger folks think masculinity is a bad thing. As long as it's not that "fake tough guy act" crap, true masculinity can be a good, healthy thing. On the flip side, some people think being masculine means being a straight up A-hole, it isn't and shouldn't be most of the time.

Not....masculinity. Just macho bullshit....

Depends on what you mean by masculinity. I mostly just hate the idea that there's some stereotypical ideal of what masculinity is, that if men have certain mannerisms or behave a certain way they're somehow not men anymore. There's no way to lose my respect faster than telling someone to be a man.

I guess that doesn't really answer your question about your photo, but I really don't see it as being "masculine" to begin with, is what I'm getting at. It's more just you belonging to a subculture that I don't fully get. I think I probably had a pretty low perception of muscleheads for a while mostly because there were a couple in high school who were absolute dickbags. The older I get the more I realize people are a bit more multidimensional than I give them credit for. The big thing with me is are they being pushy about it or not. Are they just working out because they like it, or are they trying to get as many people into the church of fitness as they can? Sometimes it can blur the line. I knew a guy who did fitness shows who wouldn't go around telling people to get fit, but if you ever mentioned you might be interested in it he would sort of shift into fitness instructor mode. In hindsight, I don't think it would have killed him to try and spread a little body positivity to people. But short answer, no, I don't automatically hate muscleheads. I look at them a lot like I look at bronies: I don't get it, but do your thing.

Masculinity is great.

@demi0227_basic:

The only times I don't like masculinity is when people use that as an excuse to look down on a certain game. Like if a game looks girly or too kiddy. Other than that, I got no problem with masculinity. You do you.

not a fan of toxic masculinity

I have a friend that's Vin Diesel's skinny twin. 280 is huge man! I'm 6'2/3...I bet you move some heavy weight. I just train light mostly now...cause I'm old. I'd probably take some roids from a doctor (I'm 36...so testosterone isn't what it was a decade ago) but I eat a lot of red meat, so I guess that offsets it. And I don't care that much about the looks...just the feeling.

If I didn't move some heavy weights, there'd be nowhere for that crazy to go into. I can't think clearly (or...since we are on a game forum, enjoy games) if I haven't got my train on. *thumbs up emoji.

41 here, I don't move as much weight as I used to, and I have arthritis in my right shoulder which makes bench tougher. I just enjoy lifting so much and use it to stay healthy. It's a fantastic and healthy hobby, if done properly. I was down to 247 a few years ago, lost a ton of strength, but I've been on a slow, clean bulk since then. Actually about to lean out a little before summer, my first cut in a few years. I've been using various templates of Wendler's 5/3/1 for almost a year and absolutely LOVE it. The program has definitely helped my lifts head back up.

Pretty much this in a nutshell.

-Byshop

So they don't like expressive macho masculinity and they also don't like gentlemanly behaviours. Being a gentleman is oppressive, they say lol.

Did you just create a thread to basically say "Look at my photo, I'm even more buff nowadays"? GG dude :D

I bet you grunt really loud when curling weights.

@demi0227_basic: I don't think they are reacting to your masculinity per se, they don't have a problem with muscle ... i mean look at all the video games that have muscular characters.... maybe, and no offense, they are just reacting to the homicidal look in your eyes?

I don't dislike masculinity, I think there are some things a man should be. But I hate machismo and "bro culture".

I like (or did like lol) playing sports, but I hate watching sports. And that's fine, you can still be masculine and be like "nah, that shit's boring" when people ask if I want to watch the game. I'm finding a lot more men are becoming like that.

I've been a cook literally my whole life just about. When I was little, I got shit for it. That's machismo and bro culture. But as an adult, I've never met a single female cook, and the real chefs out there are savages, and that is putting it mildly.

Basically, imo, masculinity is being comfortable in who you are. Machismo and bro culture is conforming to a stereotype of man.

@demi0227_basic: Depends do you walk normally or you tend to over sway your shoulders like a thug/tough guy? when you walk. :P

Don't hate masculinity..do hate people who walks like a thug/tough guy wannabe. :P

I prefer femininity as a woman.

LOL...literally. Your comment made me think of a recent conversation between Tom Segura and Bill Burr about being psychos.

Nope. I love this community, but I couldn't care less about what anybody here thinks of me in that regard.

I walk as normal as a guy my size walks, I guess. I don't peacock around like Conner Mcgreggor! lol

No, it doesn't bother me. I usually feel safe around them.

I'm rather effeminate or look effeminate. Got a small frame and such. I always gravitate to big dudes when looking for friends because I feel safer around them. They don't seem to mind it either so I haven't had any bad experiences with masculine looking dudes. A lot of them seem to be soft in the inside, at least from my experience.

It's all good, just teasing you. Good for you that you put the time, effort and discipline into staying in shape.

You seem a bit narcissistic. I really don't care, but to make a thread just to look at your picture is a bit pitiful. I doubt anybody here looks at your profile picture and says "Hey i hate you, you're buff." That's a mental thing.

For the next time you sloppy soy-boys decide to shit on masculinity...

No, it's insecurity.

@plageus900 said:

For the next time you sloppy soy-boys decide to shit on masculinity...

fun fact. that guy the the cousin of my brother in law.

@plageus900 said:

For the next time you sloppy soy-boys decide to shit on masculinity...

Masculinity is great in situations like this. Though I would rather just not look at men that are too masculine. I prefer a muscular lean build to be honest. Body builder buff just turns me off.

Wasn't aware this was an issue you were facing. Not cool, broham.

Hmm... not really. Being muscular is about fitness. Being able to lift heavy objects can genuinely make a person feel good both physically and mentally. Positive stimulation is needed to overcome insecurity, so being muscular actually wards off insecurity. Of course, the braggarts may be insecure, but to just look at someone who has muscles and say, "Oh yep, they're insecure" is a bit of a judgmental attitude.

Man if you have to prove masculinity then you probably don't have it.

Don't get me started on toxic masculinity. I mean, why can't I see Batman's ass in Arkham night? It's just disgusting.

Strong username to post correlation.

@luxuryheart said:

@plageus900 said:

For the next time you sloppy soy-boys decide to shit on masculinity...

Masculinity is great in situations like this. Though I would rather just not look at men that are too masculine. I prefer a muscular lean build to be honest. Body builder buff just turns me off.

Technically, anyone that lifts weights or does any kind of workout to sculpt their body is a body builder.

But I have to agree. Professional bodybuilding today is a lot different than it was during the 1970's. They used to care about aesthetics, the v-taper, etc. Now professionals only care about how mutant-like they can get with little regard to how sexy they actually look. Hence the bloated bellies, etc.

I made this account before I was woke. This username reminds me of how far I've come.

Imagine him doing a bowser grunt lol

Nothing wrong with masculinity. It's good for staying fit, health, well-being and strength.

Millennials have embraced obesity over masculinity, so you're out of luck.

Are you body shaming? Tsk tsk.

Some people should be ashamed of their bodies. Poor eating/activity habits are vices. Type 1 diabetes costs some 600k over the lifetime of a disease.

It's not healthy, not "ok" to be grotesquely obese. I don't say this to be a jerk...it's just a fact. It causes a HUGE amount of suffering and is the leading cause of death in USA among all health factors involved.

If people feel ashamed because of their bad habits, then that's a good thing, as it'll steer people towards better, more virtuous behavior. "Plus" sized models are models that are less healthy than they could be...don't buy the nonsense man. Most people find "attractive" to be a property of health...working out and eating healthy food promotes objectively happier lives, greater financial ability (less spent on healthcare), more productivity, etc. As well as contributing to happier, healthier relationships.

Anyways...I guess I'm promoting body shaming as a virtuous thing...sure, it can be cruel, but a nudge towards the "good" isn't bad, is it?

Then why make a thread about what people think lol

I hope you can see the irony.

I was really only ribbing @sonicare but since you're getting into it....

I agree that people should be ashamed of their bodies. Obesity is a tremendous strain on our healthcare and as as a result, the economy. Hell, pollution even rises because automobiles and airplanes have to use more fuel to transport the extra weight. People should be striving for healthier bodies because healthier minds usually stem from healthier lifestyles. With that said, however....

We have to exercise extreme caution when it comes to commenting on people's appearances. You shouldn't ever view body shaming as a virtuous thing, because for starters, it's not your place to comment on someone's weight and ultimately is a form of bullying. Damage can happen as a result of good intentions. The nudge you're talking about may be nudging people towards the good, but it also can have an adverse effect and nudge them towards the bad on either side of the scale. Some people stress eat because they're constantly being called fat. It's a vicious cycle. The only thing that gets them out of desperation of being called fat is to keep eating, which makes them fatter, so they eat MORE when they're told they're getting fatter. Then, you have the ones who don't know how to stop losing weight because they're scared of ever being fat again, and they develop bulimia or anorexia. People have died from eating too much and not eating enough as a result of people "only wanting the best for them".

If you care enough about someone that you want to see them improve through a healthier lifestyle, then you should know the person on a close personal level and work with them, not just say, "You should eat less. You'll feel better!" But, "Come exercise with me! Let's get a salad afterward." Telling a complete stranger, "You'd really look a lot better if you'd just lay off the cupcakes" probably is going to lead them to eat a cupcake... or they won't just stop at not eating cupcakes, but nothing at all.

@plageus900seriously wtf?? this swat guy, while what he is doing is admirable... i don't think the photo speaks masculinity... it is basically an act that any able bodied normal male (or even female) would do under that kind of circumstance. I don't think anyone is shitting on masculinity more than they are shitting on laughable broscience machismo, which is way different. I push heavy weights in the gym, but i mind my own business and get in and get out...and I own certain movements (leg press, SLDF, calf raises) that draw a crowd of brotards that want to watch me and even socialize with me, but that machismo crowd is sooooo douchebaggy and not compatible with me.,.... they cant even talk to women the right way without being all awkward, who the fuk cares how good a pump you can get with your bogus supplements and creatine, i dont fucking care, no one does... i much prefer the bball crowd that love playing chemistry bball., cuz we can talk plays ,and relevant sports, news, and women.

I had to carry a 280 lb fat diabetic paraplegic down 6 flight of stairs during the 2012 5.8-earthquake (elevators were out) , all the while he was screaming hysterically "oh lord jesus , jeeeeeeeezus, please save me... like he was having an orgasm in Sunday Black Community church"....anyways, i would take the petite asian lady and baby in 1 feet calm water anyday of the week , over fuking carrying Obese Madea

@Todddow also the 6'4 280lb guy 41 year old guy,... that is crazy weight for 6'4. you outweigh the Rock, Lebron at 6'8, .... your dimensions are basically like Nasser El Sonbaty in his prime (whose personality i thought was pretty cool)... unless your like a fat strongman type of physique with giant belly.

@plageus900 said:

For the next time you sloppy soy-boys decide to shit on masculinity...

@multiplat: Wow I definitely hit a nerve...

Anyway, look at the picture. Unless I'm mistaken, that's her husband out in front carrying the bags while another man carries his wife and child.