What would you do? (relationship dilemma, really for guys)

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inflammable01

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#1 inflammable01
Member since 2007 • 1374 Posts

This guy, lets call him "Andy," likes this girl, Erin. They met last summer at a church event. Andy focused on college, so didn't see her at all from Sept. until a few days before Christmas. When they met again at church in December, he told her he remembered her and he asked if she remembered him. She didn't, but continously showed interest in getting to know him after that point.

After getting to know each other more, Andy likes that Erin is kind, smart (takes AP courses), considerate, talented (plays ukelele and guitar, and draws quite good), sings, looks ridiculously cute, and looks at him quite often (when passing by, or performing on stage at church). Andy and Erin enjoy talking to each other and being in each other's company. He feels a deep connection with her. Andy would like to make her his gf, but he found out she's only 14, and he's 20. (The mascara and fact that she's Asian made it difficult for him to tell.)

Andy knows not only her, but her older sister (by 2 years, not as interested in her), her younger brother (about 10-12 years old), her mother, and her father, who is his Sunday school teacher and gets along with pretty well. Andy met them individually, and found out in January they were all one family. Andy has known Erin's family for about 2 months now.

Andy would like to make her his gf, but he found out last month that she's only 14. He's 20. (The mascara and fact that she's Asian made it difficult for him to tell.) Andy enjoys Sunday school and the church service, and doesn't want to put either activity in jeopardy, but at the same time feels a deep connection with Erin and feels he should tell her how he feels about her. What should he do (and/or not do)? Explainations are highly encouraged.

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Travo_basic

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#2 Travo_basic
Member since 2003 • 38751 Posts
Andy needs to move on.
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Grodus5

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#3 Grodus5
Member since 2006 • 7934 Posts

20 to 14 is quite a big difference. Maybe 20 to 16, but still that is on the creepy side, in my opinion.

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mrmusicman247

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#4 mrmusicman247
Member since 2008 • 17601 Posts
Andy needs to move on to the next one. Or wait till she's a senior.
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-Big_Red-

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#5 -Big_Red-
Member since 2006 • 7230 Posts
This thread.... Has potential. And seeing as you're 20, and she's 14, she's too young to date. Let's do the math. Your age/2 +7 is the youngest that you can date. 20/2+7=17 Move on dude. Move on. You don't want to be registered as a sex offender.
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worlock77

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#6 worlock77
Member since 2009 • 22552 Posts

Move on Andy. It's not worth the statutory rape charge.

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cd_rom

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#7 cd_rom
Member since 2003 • 13951 Posts
Pork the mom.
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Lonelynight

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#8 Lonelynight
Member since 2006 • 30051 Posts
Wait for 6 years, than ask her out.
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chaplainDMK

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#9 chaplainDMK
Member since 2008 • 7004 Posts
Andy (probably you but whatever :P) should wait a little bit with her, save her for later :P Tho he has to watch out that he doesen't get friend zone'd
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bloodcord

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#10 bloodcord
Member since 2004 • 151 Posts

When the cops come knocking on your door tell them your not Andy...lol

all joking aside, Andy cant just be somebody friend or does he need to have sex and kiss Erin? Boy oh, boy the fact that your(doh I mean Andy)....is thinking about sex and a under-aged girl all at the same time while at Church school tells allot about you........omg I mean Andy.

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Theokhoth

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#11 Theokhoth
Member since 2008 • 36799 Posts
Andy needs to set up an appointment with Chris Hanson.
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SickBoy724

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#12 SickBoy724
Member since 2009 • 364 Posts

Sorry Andy, but the best I can say it stick with 18 and older.

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play_thegame

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#13 play_thegame
Member since 2008 • 3630 Posts
andy needs to to keep this one in reserve until shes legal. talking isnt breaking the law though.lay the foundations then build that sexy bridge when you wont get arrested is my advice.
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ManifestoJoe

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#14 ManifestoJoe
Member since 2009 • 587 Posts

When the cops come knocking on your door tell them your not Andy...lol

all joking aside, Andy cant just be somebody friend or does he need to have sex and kiss Erin? Boy oh, boy the fact that your(doh I mean Andy)....is thinking about sex and a under-aged girl all at the same time while at Church school tells allot about you........omg I mean Andy.

bloodcord

Gotta love the internet :lol:

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supa_badman

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#15 supa_badman
Member since 2008 • 16714 Posts

As much as it really sucks, it would be time for Andy to forget about her for the next couple of years.

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STAR_Admiral

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#16 STAR_Admiral
Member since 2006 • 1119 Posts
[QUOTE="-Big_Red-"]This thread.... Has potential. And seeing as you're 20, and she's 14, she's too young to date. Let's do the math. Your age/2 +7 is the youngest that you can date. 20/2+7=17 Move on dude. Move on. You don't want to be registered as a sex offender.

You seriously let a math formula tell you who you can date? As for the topic, Andy should just be friends with the girl until she is 18 and then pursue a more romantic relationship. There is no reason to dump her completely just because she is 14, but do keep in touch, andy does not want to lose her.
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Grodus5

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#17 Grodus5
Member since 2006 • 7934 Posts
[QUOTE="STAR_Admiral"][QUOTE="-Big_Red-"]This thread.... Has potential. And seeing as you're 20, and she's 14, she's too young to date. Let's do the math. Your age/2 +7 is the youngest that you can date. 20/2+7=17 Move on dude. Move on. You don't want to be registered as a sex offender.

You seriously let a math formula tell you who you can date? As for the topic, Andy should just be friends with the girl until she is 18 and then pursue a more romantic relationship. There is no reason to dump her completely just because she is 14, but do keep in touch, andy does not want to lose her.

The formula is more of a guideline, really. Just a rule of thumb, but all's fair in love and war I suppose.
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play_thegame

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#18 play_thegame
Member since 2008 • 3630 Posts

try it on with her sister/mother?

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DreamnDayUnite

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#19 DreamnDayUnite
Member since 2011 • 428 Posts
Andy needs to find someone else. Too much of an age difference.
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siberian142

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#20 siberian142
Member since 2007 • 7774 Posts
Nothing good would come out of a 20 year old guy dating a 14 year old girl. It's illegal and everyone will just look down on those who date those who are way past the appropriate age group. He should just be her friend and if she also feels strongly about him in a few years, pursue a relationship when she is of appropriate age.
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benleslie5

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#21 benleslie5  Moderator
Member since 2006 • 9175 Posts

Tell Andy to move on, if she was round what 18,19 or 20 sure go ahead. Or you could always just be friends but thats the only advice I could give you on that one.

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Nude_Dude

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#22 Nude_Dude
Member since 2007 • 5530 Posts

This thread.... Has potential. And seeing as you're 20, and she's 14, she's too young to date. Let's do the math. Your age/2 +7 is the youngest that you can date. -Big_Red-
That applies when 11< age < 60. For 60 < age I'm fairly sure it becomes Your age/4 + 7. Also, 60+ year old females are left out. :(

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-Big_Red-

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#23 -Big_Red-
Member since 2006 • 7230 Posts
[QUOTE="STAR_Admiral"][QUOTE="-Big_Red-"]This thread.... Has potential. And seeing as you're 20, and she's 14, she's too young to date. Let's do the math. Your age/2 +7 is the youngest that you can date. 20/2+7=17 Move on dude. Move on. You don't want to be registered as a sex offender.

You seriously let a math formula tell you who you can date? As for the topic, Andy should just be friends with the girl until she is 18 and then pursue a more romantic relationship. There is no reason to dump her completely just because she is 14, but do keep in touch, andy does not want to lose her.

I don't let it tell me who I can date. But at this point in my life, it isn't inaccurate.
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branketra

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#24 branketra
Member since 2006 • 51726 Posts
Well, in the U.S.....age of consent....Ugh.
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dagreenfish

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#25 dagreenfish
Member since 2010 • 1818 Posts

That's just creepy... 20 year olds having crushes on 14 year olds is just wrong.