What whould your computer say if it could speak?

Be creative on this one just tell me what whould your computer say to you if it could speak.

I already made some up:

I have a bug in my left systemIO_streaming_hardbuffer_raid0 device! haaa just kidding I'm fine! ...like you would care for me :(

Can I pull up a blue-screen just to piss you off? :twisted:

Something I wish to tell you a long time ago. DON'T YOU EVER PULL THE PLUG ON ME !!! :x

Sometimes I just pop-up for no reason. :D

There is a virus in your... ups I opened... :?

Whats the deal with "My Computer" is it mine or yours? :question:

I can see that your download is at 98%, I will now disconnect from your network. :D

I have come to realize that you eventually click a mouse button. :shock:

Do you like pie? I like pie! 8)

I can delete all your files just to get some attention! ;)

Following my calculations your left hand is slightly smaller 0.4067 mm then the right one. :|

You should empty the Recycle Bin... and no I'm not touching it... :?

thanks

It would probably tell me to get off these forums because they do nothing but infuriate me with all the idiotic posts by some people.

"Target Identified

Termination Imminent"

Please stop touching me.

Do you want me to start counting your clicks?:P

"Can we do something else tonight, like, lets not go to THAT site, I got sick or something last time. :? Felt crappy for a couple days after that :("

"What the #$@#, don't play on 2fort, jeez only newbs do that!"

"I saw that thing you posted on Gamespot....not as funny as you would like to think Dimitri...:|"

"Errrm, no what the hell are you doing using the search? It is the program at the top of the list ARE YOU BLIND!"

"No, NO NO NO god #$@@ it! If you are going to be mr. super sniper, at least try and help the team. Try to get the other sniper don't go charging in all commando. Ok turn here an.....oh you're dead, sorry"

"oh, cool, you putting together a little animation and then making a movie with it on Windows movie maker to post to youtube? well that is....*AHHH CHUUU* Ooops program stopped responding. Sry! :oops:"

"Hey, HEY Dimitri...DIMITRI! Listen...LISTEN! If you don't pay attention I will shut down th...Okay good. My rolfcopter goes SOI SOI SOI SOI SOI SOI! XD ISn't that great! :o"

"Clean me PLeeeeeease"

"ew ew EW!!!!!!!!!!"

Can you rub the mouse wheel... hoo... thats nice... yes... yes...

shh... your mom is coming!

I probably should had mentioned this before... I'm making a program application on Csharp with your replies. Iv selected vgm007, -Rattlehead-, SavageM2, HessenKnight and clembo1990 so far. If you dont want me to use them you are free to say no?

And I have 108 more, my goal is infinite...
When its finish I publish it as freeware and then just google for SpeakToMe that's the name of my app.

So please keep this alive! your replie may end up in my program.

Compy: "Hey man I'm getting kind of full, think you could delete a few movies or something?"
Me: "Suck it up, I'll install another hard drive later."
Compy: "Seriously I have like 1% of 900GB free"
Me: "Quiet you!"
Compy: "**** you. I'm putting like 47 trojans in your startup folder"
*Proceeds to crash all running programs forcing me to hard reboot*
*Upon reboot my sound card and internet do not work*
*After some time I get the internet working and figure my soundcard is physically fried*
Me: "That's it, reformat time!"
Compy: "Nooooo! I''ll stop I swear"
Me: "Fine..." *Several days later*
Me: "Why are all my folders sorted by date? Where did all my playlists from Winamp go? Why are all my temperatures off the scale???!?!"
*Computer explodes killing me and family*

Except for the last part this is how my life with my computer is. I'm extremely computer literate, I just tend to neglect until everything fails.

"Oh hoho, your a dirty Boy" :oops:

"I'm afraid I can't let you do that Dave" :P

jeeze, you must be horny. You really need a girlfriend.

"GET THE **** AWAY FROM ME AND TAKE A SHOWER!"

"I'm sorry, Mike Rotch is currently disconnected right now. Please try again later."

"Gimme a minute. I'm a bit slow!"

It would be funny if your computer said, "I'm getting really tired of you pushing my buttons."

sop pressing on my buttons :oops:

"UPGRADE ME! I'm dieing here! This hard drive is like what? 4 years old?! It's a freaking 40 Gig model! Do they even make them anymore?! And what the hell sort of processor is this?! A Celeron? Does anyone even remember what that is?! And what the hell do you expect me to do with a gig of RAM? I can barely store the freaking date and time in here, never mind an entire artificial intellgience system! I mean what the hell! You own a PS3, an Xbox 360 and a Wii, and over the past 4 years you have completely neglected to improve me in one single way! Don't tell me you're cheating on me with another PC, because I couldn't take that. I'm barely alive as it is with this crap you've cobelled me together with. Man I'm stressed out, I'm going to take a crash now. You know mabye if I crash for long enough you will begin to appreciate me, and how much I mean to you. Mabye then you'll start caring for me and stop spending all that time with those whores you call 'Just video gaming consoles'." etc. etc.

Wow, I'm bored. I'm waiting for someone to call so I can answer the door and then go to sleep. It's now 3.30 in the morning and it's getting ridiculous now. The PC is just a reflection of my anger really.

kiiiiiiiiiiill meeeeeee!jointed

"UPGRADE ME! I'm dieing here! This hard drive is like what? 4 years old?! It's a freaking 40 Gig model! Do they even make them anymore?! And what the hell sort of processor is this?! A Celeron? Does anyone even remember what that is?! And what the hell do you expect me to do with a gig of RAM? I can barely store the freaking date and time in here, never mind an entire artificial intellgience system! I mean what the hell! You own a PS3, an Xbox 360 and a Wii, and over the past 4 years you have completely neglected to improve me in one single way! Don't tell me you're cheating on me with another PC, because I couldn't take that. I'm barely alive as it is with this crap you've cobelled me together with. Man I'm stressed out, I'm going to take a crash now. You know mabye if I crash for long enough you will begin to appreciate me, and how much I mean to you. Mabye then you'll start caring for me and stop spending all that time with those whores you call 'Just video gaming consoles'." etc. etc.

Wow, I'm bored. I'm waiting for someone to call so I can answer the door and then go to sleep. It's now 3.30 in the morning and it's getting ridiculous now. The PC is just a reflection of my anger really.

WasntAvailable

:lol: Your PC sounds like it could use a breather. :P

"Please defrag me..."

"Please run the virus scan..."

"Please dust me off"

[QUOTE="WasntAvailable"]

"UPGRADE ME! I'm dieing here! This hard drive is like what? 4 years old?! It's a freaking 40 Gig model! Do they even make them anymore?! And what the hell sort of processor is this?! A Celeron? Does anyone even remember what that is?! And what the hell do you expect me to do with a gig of RAM? I can barely store the freaking date and time in here, never mind an entire artificial intellgience system! I mean what the hell! You own a PS3, an Xbox 360 and a Wii, and over the past 4 years you have completely neglected to improve me in one single way! Don't tell me you're cheating on me with another PC, because I couldn't take that. I'm barely alive as it is with this crap you've cobelled me together with. Man I'm stressed out, I'm going to take a crash now. You know mabye if I crash for long enough you will begin to appreciate me, and how much I mean to you. Mabye then you'll start caring for me and stop spending all that time with those whores you call 'Just video gaming consoles'." etc. etc.

Wow, I'm bored. I'm waiting for someone to call so I can answer the door and then go to sleep. It's now 3.30 in the morning and it's getting ridiculous now. The PC is just a reflection of my anger really.

:lol: Your PC sounds like it could use a breather. :P

[QUOTE="SavageM2"]

[QUOTE="WasntAvailable"]

"UPGRADE ME! I'm dieing here! This hard drive is like what? 4 years old?! It's a freaking 40 Gig model! Do they even make them anymore?! And what the hell sort of processor is this?! A Celeron? Does anyone even remember what that is?! And what the hell do you expect me to do with a gig of RAM? I can barely store the freaking date and time in here, never mind an entire artificial intellgience system! I mean what the hell! You own a PS3, an Xbox 360 and a Wii, and over the past 4 years you have completely neglected to improve me in one single way! Don't tell me you're cheating on me with another PC, because I couldn't take that. I'm barely alive as it is with this crap you've cobelled me together with. Man I'm stressed out, I'm going to take a crash now. You know mabye if I crash for long enough you will begin to appreciate me, and how much I mean to you. Mabye then you'll start caring for me and stop spending all that time with those whores you call 'Just video gaming consoles'." etc. etc.

Wow, I'm bored. I'm waiting for someone to call so I can answer the door and then go to sleep. It's now 3.30 in the morning and it's getting ridiculous now. The PC is just a reflection of my anger really.

Masterdj1992

:lol: Your PC sounds like it could use a breather. :P

ITS ME!

Twist of the century. The computer was just a fragment of my personaility. My insanity unfolds before me!

Wait, I had a GPU? And RAM? I can't even handle freaking Flash games!

Wait, did you just get horny just because you just found out that there's a sex scene in that movie you're lookingup?

Stop it, get off "that site", I can't take the hentai much longer!

Is that porn I see?(this is just a complete joke BTW)

Wow, this site looks as if it was made in the mid 90s. And it has porn on it...

Why does your 360 have 511 MB more RAM than me?

Would you date me if I said I was a female? And had big jugs?

OH DEAR GOD STOP WATCHING 2GIRLS1CUP! I DON'T GIVE A DAMN IF YOU'RE MAKING A REACTION VIDEO OR NOT!

Wait, did you just say you'd squeal at the thought of robot ninjas? Maybe I can use that idea as a way to kill you...

Comp: Hey (my name)! Going on Gamespot/faqs again today? Me: Yeah, pretty much Comp: Hey...wanna know what im thinking Me: What? Comp: Y'know, some...entertainment Me: Pokemon the First Movie again? Comp: Oh no, some dirty things Me: Oh god! OH GOD! HP w17e, you have issues Comp: Oh come on. We'll only look at the pics Me: I think you have a virus Comp: I think your sexy Me: Thats it, im sending you back Comp: Oh really? ill tell your mom you looked at... Me But i didn't! *fills history with pronz* Me: The F$*%! Deleate my History! Comp: Nu-uh-uh! The entertainment first Me: Fine... *goes on a "dirty" website* Comp: Yeah...thats the stuffMetaKnight50

"You're so good at turning me on."

You always talk about how you love WALL-E, but you never talk about how you love me! I'man immature robot as well!

I'm always watching you. I have Google Earth on your ass.

SHUT UP AND LOVE ME ALREADY!

Wait, you're seeing another PC? Don't tell me it's because it has better specs, at least I love you!

You get hard at porn, you get hard at watching sex scenes, but you never get hard at watching me! WHY DON"T U LOVE ME

**** YOU, I'm getting another user.

Stop Using Me So Much.