I'm not sure why I'm posting this here (particularly because I haven't been active in years), but I'm just plain lost and grasping for some way to get past this.
I'm 27, and she's 32 just for a bit of context.
This is a woman who I was certain I would spend the rest of my life with. Someone I would've done anything for, and I can't imagine doing anything that might hurt her. To make matters worse, I loved her 7 year-old son, and she always talked about how great a step dad I was going to be for him.
We spent Thanksgiving together for the first time thanks to my recent discharge from the Army. Thanksgiving could not have been more perfect. We spent the whole week together with her son and mother, and I was never more certain of our future. She professed the same, her son loves me to death, and prior to a few days ago, it was my all time favorite memory.
We've had our issues due to a side of my family not approving of our relationship, which has estranged me from them to a degree, but I always chose her and made it abundantly clear they were all being hypocritical idiots. She's my entire world.
Over time, she grew colder when we were apart and became spiteful in moments over text. We had a few fights in the last few months, only when I'm staying at my dad's (in order to attend college here in the spring.) Due to circumstances on her end, moving in with her wasn't viable for another 6 months or so. At one point, she ended things in a text before we worked things out, and I made her promise the one thing she'd never do again is break up with me over text.
Whenever we were together, everything would be perfect, and she couldn't be happier. She eventually admitted that she'd grown resentful while I would be away.
Then the amazing Thanksgiving happened.
This past Friday night, she was acting a little off but we had to go to bed early for an event she was working first thing in the morning. As I was lying there holding her, she told me she had a heavy heart because she's felt like an asshole to me and she didn't know how to get past the resentment she'd built up. We talked and talked before she claimed I couldn't really love her. I then professed everything I feel for her, she cried, saying how she was completely in love with me and always has been.
Next day is weird, she does small little things that make me feel as if she doesn't want me there, but I assure myself it's just cause she's exhausted after the event, and it's all in my head. She went to sleep in her mom's bedroom where the family was doing crafts. I carry her son to her bed and begin to carry her to him when she woke up, freaked out, and had me put her down before complaining about a tooth that she needs operating on.
I then went to the kitchen to get her medicine only to find her in bed with her son asleep in a position which made it clear I couldn't easily join them. I put the medicine on her end table before she told me she didn't want any. I kissed her on the head and gathered my things before leaving without a word.
4 hours later, she sent a text saying little more than "I can't be your girlfriend anymore. We'll always be here for you as friends." A goddamned text.
I don't know how to come to terms with the reality of her being gone. Our life together being gone. How she could do the one thing she promised never to do, because I told her it would destroy me. She'd just told me she was madly in love with me the night before. She let me hold her and play with her son all day while she ran errands. Let him fall asleep with me on a chair before she awkwardly hugged me and thanked me for hanging out with them that day.
How do you get past it? For the past 29 hours, I try to distract myself with anything I can find, but the reality of it all keeps slamming into me. She told me how madly in love with me she is and then not even a day later broke up with me over text which she knew would utterly destroy me. The woman who I love with all my heart did that. The woman I was going to spend my life with.
It's pathetic, but I feel cored out and empty, I can't stop shaking when it inevitably hits me again, and I'm just so fucking sad.
TL;DR: The woman whom I was certain I was going to spend the rest of my life with just ended things, and I'm struggling to reconcile that reality with my mind.
Bonus TL;DR: **** Thanksgiving.