Tell me one thing that is missing in your life

One thing that is missing in your life that's keeping you from complete happiness or satisfaction. For me, it would have to be a loving family or love in general. I've always had a relatively small family and it's just been getting gradually smaller as years go by. I lost my dad in 2009 to cancer and my mom doesn't really do much these days in her 70s. My grandparents have all passed away and my only sibling is going through a divorce. I live alone with no family or kids of my own. Even though I'm fortunate in many ways, I sometimes wish I had a bigger family that I could bond and do things with (I'm very selectively social). I just think I would be in a better place mentally.

I've talked about it before but my biggest issue is that I'm too afraid to leave my comfort zone. As a result I'm missing on all these new experiences and life in general. I can't shake this feeling of stagnation - things that used to be fulfilling (like video games), no longer are. I'm 29 and my life has been more or less the same for years. Still living with my parents and never had a girlfriend.

However, I'm taking baby steps towards the right direction even though anxiety is always there to put obstacles in my path. I have decided to find a job abroad and move out early next year. Also started going to the gym and thinking of taking up a sport next.

@dariency Sounds like you need a significant other. My only advice would be to start meeting more people until you find the one.

@dariency: Sorry to hear about your shrinking family. I've had to count on my immediate family more times than I can remember now. You could always try to give your sibling moral support as they go through their divorce I guess.

I think a girlfriend has been missing from my life for too many years. I haven't been completely satisfied with a lot of the jobs I've had these past few years either. So maybe it's a combination of finding a job that's a better fit and finding a partner who is a good match.

I personally don't believe anything can provide complete happiness or satisfaction, it's all temporal and ever changing. But, one thing I desire is a woman to call my own. I would like to be married and have kids before hitting the age of forty. I'm currently twenty-nine.

Family is ever shrinking, that's why it's important to go out and make connections. My dad would always complain about being alone or having "no life," yet he wouldn't do anything about it except whine and continue doing nothing.

I moved out six years ago but I also have that same feeling. Moving out on my own didn't change my life much, and I find myself being more lazy and undecisive on what to do in my free time. I don't play video games anywhere near as much as I did when I was a kid despite having more now than I ever have, and that might be part of the problem. Between video games, movies, and a multitude of streaming services, the choices for home entertainment are way too saturated. I too have also never had a girlfriend, and I'm 33.

Sounds like me honestly, but I do occasionally step out of my comfort zone and the results can be mixed. I tend to feel like an alien amongst groups of people which in turn makes me uncomfortable and I come off as shy and quiet. It's a very bad feeling that I try to avoid.

I desire companionship and intimacy, but I believe the kind of love that I would require is nearly impossible to find or might only exist in fairy tales.

@dariency:

Sounds like me honestly, but I do occasionally step out of my comfort zone and the results can be mixed. I tend to feel like an alien amongst groups of people which in turn makes me uncomfortable and I come off as shy and quiet. It's a very bad feeling that I try to avoid.

I'm an introvert by nature, but I do find people who I instantly click with and there's no awkwardness or quietness about me when I'm around them, and we become great friends. There's this woman I'm friends with and her and I have become basically siblings to one another. We care for each other deeply. Surely you've experienced some types of people who you can instantly click with? I believe she's introvert like me, so that's probably why her and I clicked.

There have been a few people I've clicked with, but most of them were co-workers that I don't work with anymore. I don't go to many places where people gather like the gym, church, or bars (I don't drink). I've actually had more success making friends online. I met my best friend through YouTube and we started chatting and now we talk to each other on the phone usually at least once a week. But he lives about 800 miles away from me and he also works a lot so we don't get many chances to interact as I would like.

@dariency: Understandable. The woman I referred to is a co-worker, but her and I actually hang out outside of work and are constantly texting each other. If it's work only, I don't consider them friends, despite them considering me a friend.

Going out is the hard part. I go to the gym 5 days out of the week, but I generally never talk to anyone there. But like you, though I'm wanting a spouse, it'll require you to go out and find something to do if you want to establish connections that aren't long distance. Like, I'm planning to go downtown with my friend, and we're going to go do something, but at the same time I'm hoping it'll lead to an opportunity to find a woman. ;)

If you have any hobbies, you could try something like FaceBook Groups? I think that's what it's called. I don't typically like trying to establish connections online, dating in particular. I've tried and it just doesn't work. XD

A partner. Right now, I feel content with my new job and salary. The next step is finding a partner... even for someone who doesn't really have any friends and hitting 30, I might have to try dating apps...

@mycatismilk: I thought that going to the gym might create some opportunities to meet new people. But like you, I don't really talk to anyone. I'm not that good at striking up conversation and making small talk. At the same time, I realize I may come across as distant which may in turn prevent others from getting friendly with me. Not to mention I can barely talk properly when I'm tired, sweating and dehydrated lol. And most people at the gym tend to keep to themselves anyway.

All the girls I had an opportunity to get close with were either from class back in uni or a co-worker at my current job with whom I hang out occasionally during lunch break. We went out once but being inexperienced I failed to actually make a move. We've talked about meeting outside of work again but never seem to align our schedules. And my anxiety is not exactly a motivating factor for pursuing the matter any further. I'm not even sure she's romantically interested.

When you reach that point, I think it's important to try out new things and broaden your horizons. Take up an activity or sport. Even if it's solitary like reading or running. There's bound to be something that doesn't feel too much out of character for you. It's going to feel refreshing and along the way you might even meet some like-minded people.

A wife/girlfriend. I've only been in 1 committed relationship before. I don't have social skills, so it's out of the question for me to ask a girl to be my girlfriend. I'm afraid of getting hurt; that's the main reason. Sometimes I feel lonely, but on the other hand, I'm glad that I don't have to please someone. In a relationship, you are living for yourself and your partner -- and a child (if you have one). Since I'm single, I get to spend my life doing whatever I want, I'm not living for the sake of someone else -- I'm doing it for my own pleasure.

Financial stability. My back isn’t against the wall right now, but the store I work in is going downhill since new ownership. Not sure if itll last until next year. That and meaningful companionship. Its been a while since I’ve been head over heels in love.

@mycatismilk: I'm kind of embarrassed to say that I tried online dating a couple of years ago. I started talking to this girl on okcupid and we were having good conversations. She eventually gave me her number so we can text, so I texted her. But after a couple of days of not replying, she gets back with me and says we can chat on Facebook. So I add her on there and I send her a message. Days go by and no response, so I just delete her. It was really weird.

For me, it would be freedom of exploring life outside of U.S but what's holding me back is that my family needs me. I have never taken a vacation outside the U.S, I always take vacations in various States where I have easy access to money and travesty. That's the thing missing in my life, not taking vacations on a tropical island, I always dream of going to Rio as I've heard they got great bars and great exotic places to see. Would love to go places like Canada, Alaksha, or even Rio but like I said, my family needs me and not even my wife isn't interest visiting other places outside of U.S. Never had a passport either so basically, this is what's missing in my life.

I'd like to visit England, Italy, and Japan but I don't know if it'll ever happen. Traveling internationally is costly and I don't know if I could handle the jetlag. Canada might be the only possibility for now.

I guess it only takes one word that includes everything missing in my life: living.

It looks like this issue is not uncommon over here. Like some of you, I'm also a literal hermit living with my parents (36 at the moment) and never been in any kind of relationship (never even hugged anyone in my life, for ****'s sake). Who knows, how much of if is by choice and how much is just because I am what I am and you can't change that.

My current, and long time, excuse right now that I have a dog and can't make any radical changes in my life, but she's already 13 so the time for that excuse going away is getting closer. All I know is that nothing will change as long as I don't move out and find my own place to live (would require getting a real job, as I've been self employed my whole life to escape interacting with people, but the income from that would not allow independence), but as Dariency found out, moving out does not necessarily mean that you yourself will change.

Moving out won't necessarily change you or your life, but I'd still much rather live on my own than with my parents. Having your own place is a major step to real independence and it's a great feeling, even if I am alone in it most of the time. Ironically, the worst loneliness I've felt has been when I'm around people (including family).

I feel like you might be in a similar rut that I was in about ten years ago. The years of 2009-2011 were not good to me, and by 2011 it was hitting me hard and I had enough. I knew what I had to do if I wasn't happy with where my life was going, so I just started to take action. I finally got my first job in 2012, met some cool people, had some new experiences, and made some new memories. After just a few years my life had really turned around and was heading in a much better direction. I've still got some things to work on and I'm not sure where life is going to take me next, but I'm trying to make sure that I'm ready for whatever life throws at me.

A time machine to the late 90's hate modern day with a passion.

A girlfriend.

@dariency: Sorry to hear that. I’ve been going through similar phases myself, too.

Lots of things that I won't post here but I do miss my dog. She was a good little dog and I miss her.

A smoke sausage supper.

A pinball machine.

@dracula_16:

I actually tried getting into a relationship with a girl, I had a crush on in my early 20's. She was 3 years younger then me and the exact opposite of me as we were both shy but she was rebellious behind close doors. She was seeing someone else when I asked her out. Though she was shocked when I asked her and gave me her number. I called her and she gave me "I am busy with family" like three times. She finally told me that she was seeing someone and that she was sorry. She eventually married and had a baby. I guess it was for the best as I didn't want to be a father or get married in my early 20's.

@rmpumper:

I never had a girlfriend though mainly cause of my social anxiety and being afraid of rejection. Doesn't really bother me as I am happy being single. There are times when asked by family members why I am not married and I don't know what to say. Like they are surprised least my father's side as they like "you should settle down and find a nice girl". I met girls but all of them just been friends/acquaintances and nothing more which doesn't surprise me. I have always been in the friend zone.

At the risk of sounding preachy, I would suggest to anyone to try going to church. Even if not looking for spirituality or religion, a good church can provide support, community, and can even feel like a second family.

Now finding a good church can be hard and take a few tries, and if you feel judged or unwelcomed just go to a different one. I think it's well worth a couple of hours each week just to try.

That used to be the case for me as well, but after my brother got married, my parents stopped pestering me about it, as they don't really like his wife (not that they show it in their company), so they figure that nothing is better than a possibility of another one like her. The others got used to me being a loner.

Ten years ago, I was still able to image existence with a girlfriend/wife in my life, but the older I get, the more my imagination is failing me is that regard. Being 36, I don't think I could stop being a recluse at this point. Something radical should have to happen that turns my life upside down for that to change.

@OmegaBlueUp:

My old church was like a family especially with knowing people that we met in a previous church my family attended when I was in middle school. I been trying to find a new church but it's hard finding one with singles(20s-30s) as most churches are filled with youth and older adults my parents age.

@rmpumper:

My brother got married about 5 years ago and my parents don't like his wife. My parents have never really cared for any of the girls, my brother's dated. They don't really seem like mother materia which really sucks for their child. My brother has four children and my nieces treat us like we are nothing.

@pillarrocks: that is true, I don't see many young adults (especially single) in churches. I wouldn't recommend going to church looking for dates, not only would it make things awkward if a breakup occurs, but often times people can tell when someone is there to date.

Personally, I went on eharmony to find love and that is where I met my wife.

@OmegaBlueUp:

I really wouldn't use church as a dating place. I actually tried that when 21 years old and tried dating a 18 year old girl. Made things totally awkward when she rejected me cause we would see each other in church on Sunday and church events. She would always give me dirty looks and be whispering things to her friend and laughing.