Share your baking/cooking disasters

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#1 Posted by JustPlainLucas (78793 posts) -

So we got a potluck at work tomorrow and I've been getting pretty good at making our family's pecan pie so that's what I did today, but it turned out to be a disaster. I set the wrong temp, which was just for the pie crust recipe, and not the actual recipe, so it was in for 50 minutes at 50 degrees too high. The filling rose way high, becoming a hard dome, and the crust was burnt. Plus, I used the wrong flour to make the crust. I'm so pissed at myself right now!

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#2 Posted by mrbojangles25 (42324 posts) -

@JustPlainLucas: baking is hard because it's very science-based, based on reactions of chemicals with time and temperature. That's why in most professional kitchens, you always measure using weights, not volumes.

Was never much of a baker myself, can do biscuits and cookies and stuff, but nothing amazing. I like to cook, can't remember the last time I genuinely screwed something up tbh, but that goes with the territory of being a chef :D

I did screw up a home brew beer once, though, like in a terrible way multiple times. So when you make beer, you have to boil the wort. I did it on my stove at home, and it has a tendency to foam over and get everywhere. The thing about wort is that it is essentially thin caramel, so when it spills over, it's hot and dries quick and you are left with a hard, sticky mess covering everything. Actually had to pull the stove away from the wall to get at everything (bonus: wort is basically a perfect medium for a variety of microbes, so it tends to stink if you don't clean it up).

And, if that wasn't enough, when I bottled it I used too much priming sugar and most of my bottles exploded. I woke up one night to the sound of gunshots, freaked out, only to find that it was my bottles exploding. On top of losing all my beer, the bottles tend to explode upward (as in, out the top of the bottle) so my ceiling was covered in beer.

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#3 Posted by JustPlainLucas (78793 posts) -
@mrbojangles25 said:

@JustPlainLucas: baking is hard because it's very science-based, based on reactions of chemicals with time and temperature. That's why in most professional kitchens, you always measure using weights, not volumes.

Was never much of a baker myself, can do biscuits and cookies and stuff, but nothing amazing. I like to cook, can't remember the last time I genuinely screwed something up tbh, but that goes with the territory of being a chef :D

I did screw up a home brew beer once, though, like in a terrible way multiple times. So when you make beer, you have to boil the wort. I did it on my stove at home, and it has a tendency to foam over and get everywhere. The thing about wort is that it is essentially thin caramel, so when it spills over, it's hot and dries quick and you are left with a hard, sticky mess covering everything. Actually had to pull the stove away from the wall to get at everything (bonus: wort is basically a perfect medium for a variety of microbes, so it tends to stink if you don't clean it up).

And, if that wasn't enough, when I bottled it I used too much priming sugar and most of my bottles exploded. I woke up one night to the sound of gunshots, freaked out, only to find that it was my bottles exploding. On top of losing all my beer, the bottles tend to explode upward (as in, out the top of the bottle) so my ceiling was covered in beer.

Yeah, the thing is, if only I just paid attention to the type of flour I was using and the temperature on the right recipe, it would have been fine. It's actually a very easy thing to bake, so me screwing this kind of thing up was extra stupid.

Wow, I beat those bottles going off really scared you! Shame about the beer. Sounds like homebrewing would be a lot of fun and rewarding, but it sounds very complex as well.

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#4 Posted by uninspiredcup (29109 posts) -

Yea. flour can be a pain in the ass.

Usually when I attempt to make onion rings they turn to greasy mush and the kitchen looks like a dirty bomb went off.

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#5 Posted by AYJ94 (6 posts) -

I messed up my hand pulled noodles by using the normal flour instead of the all-purpose flour, my noodles had a breaded taste on em sadly :|

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#6 Posted by Speeny (584 posts) -

I thought I was terrible at baking but turns out our old oven actually was just stuffed.

When I make cheesecakes I put them in ramekins. But the key is too not fill them so high to the point where they’ll overflow. I usually fill them half way. (They’ve overflowed before. It didn’t look messy just a little unattractive. Lol)

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#7 Posted by ZzzAmiibozzZ (28 posts) -

Grease the muffin pan. Line with some bacon. Pour in waffle batter. Bake 5 mins. Press down waffles patters across what u choose. Bake some more. Voila

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#8 Posted by SoNin360 (6934 posts) -

I set off my fire alarm the first time I tried to make pancakes

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#9 Edited by Bob_Bork (8 posts) -

Dry the chicken

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#10 Posted by watercrack445 (826 posts) -

I accidentally cut my friend's arm. It was both his dominant hand and fapping hand. He had to re-learn everything using his other arm.

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#11 Posted by theone86 (22301 posts) -

Most of mine involve trying to scale up the recipe proportionally (hint: doesn't always work). Also, my current oven is off at least a few degrees, so everything I bake comes out wrong. But mostly I bake fine, especially if I've just woken.

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#12 Posted by thake618 (4 posts) -

I once made brownies, while i was in the process of remodeling the kitchen. Drywall was hung. Plaster touch up was kept in those old school flour containers.....so was the flour..... you know where i am going with this. Plaster is not a substitute for flour!!!!!!

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#13 Posted by homework9293 (10 posts) -

My grandmother put a chicken pot pie in the microwave and it caught fire.

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#14 Posted by pyro1245 (4235 posts) -

So I like making huge pots of stock that cook all day.

I was making a Pho-inspired stock with beef bones, roasted onion/ginger, etc...

For some reason I decided to put limes in it - with the rinds

What a terrible idea. The lime rinds made it so bitter. It was horrible. I had to toss it.

Never put lime rinds in anything. Let this be a cautionary tale.

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#15 Posted by shellcase86 (4103 posts) -

@SoNin360 said:

I set off my fire alarm the first time I tried to make pancakes

How much smoke we talking? A little smoke if you like them a little burnt.

OT: Once tried to put out a grease fire with water.

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#18 Posted by lisajohny543 (6 posts) -

Baking is hard I cant do this.