Parents too strict

Well first of all my main question is how to deal with parents that are strict about video games...

I'm 15 and I'm in the 3rd year of high school, besides school I play the violin and also like of course videogames.

So, my parents set this rule; 'You can only play videogames in the weekend'.

So as I told I like playing videogames but my parents make it such a big deal, they got a point about saying studying is my priority but I just can' t be studying the whole time and other things like readimg just get boring after a whole day of studying.

Some background information, I study in the highest level available here (Netherlands) which is 'VWO' and have most of my classes in English and attend school for way more time than average and not to mention Greek and Latin class.

So my parents think I should spend my time on something productive and it gets humiliating to see my friends who spend much more time gaming and being much better than me and get similar grades at school.

So in the holidays they keep complaining how much time I spend gaming, first of all after having to study a lot I think that I should be allowed to play in the holidays, my parents keep saying there should be a balance but it's not fair if I have to spend my time doing productive things apart from studying during a normal school week.

Another thing is that it's winter now, so being outside is not really so nice as it might be thought and some friends went on holidays besides that it feels like I'm isolated from my friends and it's not just me, everyone seems to be doing their own stuff...

So back to my question, what I wanna know is how I should talk to them, I have already asked them and they told me get good grades in the coming Maths tests, I got a 8 and a 9.1 (out of 10) but they said no.

So, I wanna make at least an agreement that allows me more freedom in terms of gaming.

Anyways, thank you for taking the time to read this.

How much do you play in the weekends now?

I wish i was a 15 yo living in Netherlands and my problem at the moment was my parents being too strict about video games.

You can try talking to them. Keep your grades up and that might help. But honestly its not that big a deal.

Get home. Do homework in an hour. Game for 3 hours. I don't see the fricken problem unless they LOAD you with homework. I gamed my whole life and got A's and B's in High School.

His parents rules. Not yours dude. And not everyone is as good in school that they can coast.

Sorry dude, but I'm with your parents on this one. When I look back, I wish my parents had been stricter with my gaming vs studying time, instead of just letting me do as I please, because I know I could have done a lot better in school if they had. Fortunately for me, I turned it around for myself when I went to collage and university, but it's a hard habit to break out of.

I will say maybe yours are a little too strict, but at the same time, you say you're getting the same grades as people in you class that spend the majority of their home time gaming, which offers up the very real possibility that maybe you need those extra study sessions to keep up with your class.

I couldn't agree more. I myself am studying in college and I probably put down the most amount of time studying among everyone in my class, but I'm still not the best even if I get great scores and the highest grades.
I don't think I would have been able to get these high scores or even pass the exams if I didn't study as hard as I have done this far.

Stay in school kid. After you've graduated from highschool take the first year off and play videogames everyday all the time. That'll put your mind to rest so you can start an education in college, because there you'll need all the devotion you'll ever get.

I am strongly on your parents side speaking from experience. Not everybody is a quick learner in certain fields of study and if that extra study time results in a higher grade it is all worth it in the end when you go for a higher level of education.

My high school days were when MMO's started to become a hit and I focused way too much on that rather than school and while I have a career now and am doing fine I still wish I tried harder and went the extra distance instead of staying up late playing games with friends. Nothing is humiliating when you end up getting access to better opportunities than your friends post high school. You will thank your parents years from now.

If you want to relieve yourself from the boredom of studying and all why not do cardio, karate or some other activity doesn't require you sitting all day.

If you have the leverage, try to showcase them that you're becoming more and more responsible, As in, try to game on weekdays while still maintaining great scores all around. That outta prove you can balance your life out.

That's what I did and it worked for me. *shrug*

Then again, if you also did this and failed, your parents will have a solid case in point. =P

My parents were pretty lenient with my game time. And my grades sucked, lol. So in a way, perhaps I think it is good for parents to limit that sort of thing. But at the same time, I think it's important that they try to put trust in their child to make responsible decisions if possible as well. If that child is responsible.

Undefined01, I don't know much about you or your parents. But if it's true that you are getting good grades, and if you feel that you can keep them up if you are allowed to play games a little more, I definitely think your parents should give you a chance. Maybe you can try to make try to make a deal with them, say if your grades start to slip you go right back to how it is now? Maybe start small. Like, set a time limit on weekdays and go from there.

"Damn, I wish I spent more time playing video games when I was in my teens"- Said no one ever.

1. Parents are the problem.

2. Eliminate the problem.

3. ???

4. Video Games

My advice is don't talk to them. Even if they agree to compromise (which they won't) they will just revoke it later.

You have a choice of either complying, rebelling, or just play games without them knowing. Negotiating will never work.

IMO this is just reality. Whether it's a business deal, or peace treaty, or a class struggle, or literally any example, mutual agreements only come about when both sides have leverage to use toward what they want. Meaning your parents are not going to let you have your way simply because you open up your feelings on the matter, or ask nicely.

Tell them that gaming a little everyday will help in your grades and help you in relaxing. Ask why so serious? Tell them you need some fun time where you can be yourself everyday. Prove to them your grades will be just fine.

I think you are making some petty big assumptions about people you don't know, lol.

Just play the shit out of them on the weekend.

There are more important things you should be doing. I wish my parents forced my to learn how to play an instrument when I was younger, I'm sure that would have come in handy.

@undefined01: Be grateful. I was the youngest of 5 kids, so by the time I came around my parents pretty much stopped trying. They were never strict with me. I never did my homework or studied and eventually just stopped going to any of my classes. I wish my parents had been strict.

Seeing as OP is in this situation in the first place, and seeing as he asked a videogame forum instead of talking to his parents directly, signs point to me being right.

My answer wasn't really making assumptions though. I merely stated a universal truth. So long as a person thinks they hold all the cards, there's no sense in trying to bargain with them.

lol
You sure?

Isn't Netherlands a beautiful place?

Should go outside and enjoy the nature and community. I wish my parents had told me to lay off the video games and do something productive. Now I'm a late bloomer when it comes to experiencing the adult world.

@kriggy: I was not clear, I study the same time or less as my friends and I've to get the same marks or higher.

Sorry, I didn't explain myself correctly

@undefined01: Just keep fighting and seeking a healthy balance, and dont try to game so much on the weekend, thats the best time to hangout with friends and have fun. Your parents are probably just trying their best to raise you, that would explain why they fear games so much. Being a parent is no easy task, but the more yall work together and both sides compromises and regulates one another, the more peace can be achieved and the stronger ones bond can grow.

@spike6958: I didn't explaim things correctly, it's not that I have to spend the time studying because I 'need it', what I actually should've said is that my parents want me to spend my time doing productive things (maybe it's that I see it as study) so I think that it's not a matter of how much I need to study but my parents put it that way.

Anyways, thanks

@chaoscougar1: Sorry. Had been up for somewhere close to 60 hours when I posted that. TBH, I'm surprised I didn't make more mistakes.

You are a child. You are a child until you reach the age of majority in your country.

You either get to put up with your parent's rules until the time you turn that age, or you can leave and fend for yourself (assuming you are even legally entitled to hold employment).

Feel some solace in the fact you still don't have to deal with adult responsibilities yet, because you are going to regret wasting your time trying to be an adult before you actually get to become one. Respect your parent's wishes and become a contributing and successful member of society. Video games are a hobby, meant to be played during SPARE time.

Feel lucky you even have spare time at all. Going to university or working for a living will pretty much destroy any and all free time you get.

Just to prepare you. When you get to the fourth year you will get so much homework that you won't have the time to do all of it, even if you quit playing video games. So use this year to prepare yourself for the next three. In that light it may be best to explore other hobbies that relax you or make you happy in less time. You'll never be good at everything, but some things are bigger than games. I think it's commendable that you work so hard, and you should feel good about that.

After high school you will have an easier time playing games. University will be more complex, but you will have more control over your schedule.

@undefined01:

your parents must be from asian origin ...

Tell your parents this: "All work and no play makes Jack a dull boy."

Pointless rules are silly. If your grades are above-average, you should be allowed to play video games when youre done with homework/studies/activities regardless of what day it is.

Has it been an issue in the past? Have you played too much before and your grades slipped?

Ultimately, though, theyre your parents and you need to respect them.

lol that's kind of what I was thinking; any kid I knew that played a classical string instrument was asian. Also, ridiculously strict parents. I know some of them as adults now and they are wound very very tight...or they found out it was all bullshit and are relaxed to an excessive degree.

Wait til one day you moved out, then you can play all you want.. for right now gonna have to listen to them.

-- Or play some games on your smartphone while you're not at home.. kinna sux that you done all your homework and can't play games, gets pretty boring I can see that.

Studying is important however your mind needs rest from time to time or you become stressed and that makes everything worse. If you feel your parents are putting too much pressure on you tell them to ease off. Maybe say video games help you relax, if they can't respect that then you're pretty boned.

Many other parents aren't strict enough these days, it seems. Thankfully, my parents had always been more in the middle ground.

Dude if you look at that as a problem then you don't have problems. Before going further I am making the following assumptions since you list not being able to play videogames as a big problem

1. You are clothed

2. You are fed

3. You are sheltered

With that in mind and with the fact that you play the violin it sounds like your standard of living is pretty high. Speaking as a parent, let me tell you the rules never really change. You live in their house-you abide by their rules. It appears they are holding up their end of the bargain, so you hold up yours.

Man, follow your parents rules. You will thanks them later when your succesful instead of a dead beat. So many kids/young adults these days wastes their future playing games. Wanna flip burgers when you turn 40?

That's just bad policy because you will binge on the weekends and it's not good for you. I would have said an hour or so per day and maybe 2 hours on Friday and saturday. That way you get to have short break from study and you would retain more info from the material.

My parents were very strict with me. They laughed at me when I asked the, to buy me a car when I was 16 so I didn't start driving until I was 19 because I had to save money to buy it myself. I'm grateful now that they were harsh on me and demanded excellence from me instead of mediocrity and that they were more concerned with being my parents instead of my friends. I would have ended up like that affluenza mama's boy if they coddled me.

Now that I'm grown up, I graduated from a great university, I got a great job, I make a high salary, I drive a supercar, I'm disciplined and I'm in great physical shape and none of this would have been possible if my parents had spoiled me.