Parents complaining about gaming

I have read countless articles by teens says their parents hate gaming and parents saying their kids play too many games. Shoot, my husband even complains about it all the time. My son plays video games, a lot. Guess what, so do I. I personally could easily spend all day barely leaving my computer playing world of Warcraft. I just love it. I am a 43 year old mom with 8 max level toons. The thing is I stop myself. I have responsibilities. I need to spend time with my kids, feed them, clothe them provide for them, love them. I need to enjoy other activities, I go places frequently, i try to socialize, although the socializing is done with relatives only, I can't ind moms my age interested in gaming.

Now here come the issue I have with gaming. My son is 15. He loves gaming as much as I do. The difference is, he can't seem to walk away. I get raiding and not being able to stop int he middle of it, but that where you don't raid if you don't have time to, he can't get that in his head. I have to take his gaming away from him, I have to complain about it and sound like all the other people in the world who don't like gaming. I hate it. I love to play games so how can I be so mean and take them away from him. This is why, he doesn't limit his time in his own. He doesn't socialize outside the game. He doesn't come in the kitchen to eat without being prompted to. He loses track of time and refuses to come out and visit with the family. And yes, we are a lucky family who doesn't spend every day fighting. Well until recently. My son got the latest expansion of destiny and omg. What a monster he has been. I call him downstairs for dinner and he yells at me. Just a minute. And 30 minutes later his food is cold and he never ate. I thought let's see how far he will take this. So I say again, your food is cold, take a break and come eat, this is the last time I tell you. Then I wait, he came down at bedtime starving, food cold, yelling about how people suck, angry as can be. Ignores the food, grabs a dry box of cereal and goes back to his room. I mean what the heck. So then I decide to talk to him about how he lets it take over his life. And he yells about what a horrible mom I am being and goes to bed angry. Now I fell I have messed up all the years letting him play games so much. Wondering if I should have limited him a lot more. I mean I think I turned out ok, but then, I never acted that way, I feel these days that I am losing my kid, he never wants to do anything else. I try to talk about it to see if there is an underlying problem and I get nothing. All he wants me to do is leave him alone. I feel lost, I just want to help. I just want him to be able to be able to care for himself when he grows up, I mean he isn't that far away from being grown up. He lets it affect his grades, his health, his relationships. Yes, he is addicted. I don't know how to stop him with him feeling punished.

Long story shot, all of you people who don't understand why parents hate games, this type thing is why. Being kids get engrossed in them and don't seem to know how to limit themselves. When I take them away he asks me, well what do I do now, I inderstand because that's all he knows, so I try to find things for him to do instead, and he loses interest. Nothing is more exciting that games. He doesn't know how to be happy without extreme metal stimulation, now because of gaming he can't be happy with the mundane or simple things in life, they are slow and uninteresting to him. I play games, I can unsterstand how that happens, its why I limit myself. (And yes, I play every day, but I only play when my responsibilities are done).

Oh, and for you people who say it,could beans at its not just gaming. My answer to you is yes, you can overdo any activity. TV, reading, etc. the difference is, gaming is the most stimulating I have found. I can read and enjoy it, I can watch tv and enjoy it and I can play games no enjoy it, but at some point I get tired of sitting still in TV and reading, but in gaming I simulate movement and use more parts of my brain so I feel active the entire time, when I am actually sitting. So I feel games are way more a problem.

Sorry to hear that. A lot of kids are moody and introverted at that age - I wouldn't blame myself (or the games) for that.

Could beans at its not just gaming!

I will say this, if my kids watch too much TV or play games too many hours of the day they absolutely start having behavior problems. They get moody, upset when you ask them to do stuff, and in general act out more. Once I noticed this though and after I implemented a reasonable time limit for games (only after 7:30pm, only if homework/chores are done) their behavior has improved greatly.

It's like anything...too much and I do think gaming can start having negative effects especially on younger minds.

Your parents are the problem.

You should get rid of them.

That's overblown.

He's 15 and only games matter to him?

Here's an idea , tell him he has 1 year to proove he can be responsible.

If he is you will buy him a car , but if in that period you are forced to take away his games , no matter how much he mopes - No Car!

Life is cruel , and he is too old to not know that.

And are you a single mother? Where's your husband in all this?

@itsmejenni: 15-18 (and possibly older) is an interesting time. The work you are given to do at school doesn't really pay off in a tangible way. Oh sure you get a letter grade at the end of it, but you don't get o see the real fruit of your labours for another several years down the road (a good job, a home, a social life etc). The adult world is loaded with work that comes with more immediate payoffs such as checks, vacations, nice dinners, among other things. However when you have to wait years just to get to these things as a kid it's really easy to lose sight of what you are working towards. I imagine that if adults were told that they have to work for a good 10-14 years before we can get the payoff we would likely find ourselves easily distracted by video games and other, ultimately meaningless, activities as well.

Unfortunately I don't have solutions for you, just (hopefully) perspective.

I find it very hard to believe you have time for both. Or your definition of "responsibilities" is much more lax than mine.

As a 28 year-old truck driver, I find maybe 1-2 hours a week to have time to game... and that's if I'm lucky.

Once we start having kids, the time I get to game will be with them.

The problem my dear is not your son, it´s you, I am a parent too, my son loves gaming and so do I but when papa says: it´s over ----> it´s over. You can always unplug the cord and there´s no negotiating going around, my word is final and I don´t care if he likes it or not, btw, he is a straight A student.

Lets look at the positive, he is still 15 so there is time for a correction in behavior. How have his grades been affected? His health (aside from the lashing out aspect)? If you think he is addicted, then it is actually serious and it is time to act.

You said your husband complains too, well, it is time to lean on him; perhaps you have tried it your way now it is time to see what ideas your husband has to get this under control.

Time to set limits, no games on week days before a set time (like say, 8:00pm) and a little bit more of leash during weekends. School, homework, chores come first.

Explain to him why you are doing this, it is for his own good, it is out of love.

I would also suggest setting the tone by curtailing your own gaming sessions drastically. Lead by example, show him that isn't all talk, you control your gaming and not the other way around.

About him feeling punished, that just is what it is, as you describe it it seems the boat of solving this in a less disruptional way has sailed.

At the end of the day if you have to take away the console, computer, internet connection, the TV etc. then that's what need to be done. No new buys of games for the time been. And Christmas is coming, let it be known that current behavior and lack of discipline will be taken into account.

Again, if this is as serious as you describe then it is time for serious measures. You are the parents, this is your responsibility, this is what is all about.

And please, don't afraid to seek the help from a professional. Good luck.

@foxhound_fox:

How bout you don't be so judgmental, bro? "I'll spend that time with my kids blah blah blah..." I gamed with my father my whole life it was a lovely bonding experience.

As for you, OP, take the goddamn video games away fro your kid. If he complains, lock him in the basement and feed him scraps until he cries.

As for you, OP, take the goddamn video games away from your kid. If he complains, lock him in the basement and feed him scraps.

As a gamer myself, I know how engrossing video games can be. There are times where I will blow hours on a game and not even realize it. But, never do I let it get in the way of living my life and carrying out my responsibilities.

Your son is 15, still lives at home and basically has everything taken care of for him. He doesn't know real responsibility outside of normal chores and schoolwork. That's the difference between adults and children when it comes to video games. Don't blame him, blame yourself. He's still at the age where you can overrule anything he says about it. If he doesn't like it, tough! You're the parent, act like one. Stop blaming the video game for your son's behavior. That's like blaming breweries for making drunks out of people. It all comes down to CHOICE and MODERATION.

As an adult you have to choose when your kid can play and for god sakes, MODERATE the time he plays it!! Don't be lax about it, because obviously your son will never quit, as there's always one more "raid" to have at. Yeah, he may get pissy and call you a terrible parent, but that's all part of the responsibility of being an adult and parent. Perhaps doing things as a family might give him a reason to not want to lock himself in his room, pissing the best years of his life away at some activity that does more harm than good to a person's overall wellbeing.

Do it now while you still have the authority to. Any decent child would realize the positivity of family time and thank you later.

@itsmejenni: I suggest you get him to a library. Have him read a book, everyday.

Reading books can improve smarts and emotional state of being.

Even so, I recommend high quality books.

• Harry Potter
• The Republic
• Sherlock Holmes
• The Adventures of Tom Sawyer
• To Kill a Mockingbird
• Hamlet (or watch the 1996 film. The dialogue is the same as the book, word for word)
• The Odyssey
• Narrative and the Life of Fredrick Douglas

Hopefully, he grows and changes into a strong-minded man.

That's actually a good point! Well said.

Interesting post.

Yes, I think games are addictive.

You need to set some rules and stick by them such as no games before homework and chores are finished. He's a teen so he'll complain and feel like the world's against him but hopefully he matures as he gets older and grows out of it but it doesn't hurt to give him responsibility earlier. Maybe you could give him a task like going to the store, it's his responsibility if he screws up no games.

yeah, they could raise a family of four pumping gas and own a house at their age, now you can wear a tie to work and still have to share the floor of a one bedroom apartment with someone you didn't even know a year ago that keeps stealing change out of your coin jar, and that's now wait another 10 or 15 years, the future is bleak for young people I'm surprised they're just not hanging themselves left and right these days, but games are a an escape that helps one avoid the difficult world we face in real life

if it were my kid, thankfully I don't have one or I'm sure I'd be in jail, I'd get them a prostitute to show them a great time so they have something to think about and strive for and something to take his mind of his games