My Girlfriend -18- facing Sexual Harrassment from manager -~42-, need legal advi

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KeitekeTokage

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#1 KeitekeTokage
Member since 2011 • 770 Posts

Yeah...well where to begin. It's really been an upseting day.

Well my girlfriend used to work at resturaunt X with with this manager named scott. I'm not sure of his age, but I know he's at least 40. Anway while working at place X apparently her manager was pretty cool. After a while restraunt X got tiring for her for alternative reasons, and her manager moved to new resturant Z. Seeing an opportunity to switch to a new place and having a good relationship with the manager, she was able to quit place X and by his referral for the most part begin to work at resturant Z which they now both work at.

Since she began working at the new place (resturaunt Z) the managers behavior has completely changed or the worse.

- The manager has sent her texts asking her to attend dinner with him, one on one, which she has of course turned down. He has also directly suggested to her that she as well as the other employee's all also her age attend a pool party at his house

- The manager has for months made deragatory statements about myself in front of other employees (who have agreed to sign statements agreeing with the following claims) such as "you shouldn't kiss him" "you shouldn't be living with him" as well as saying that sicknesses she's had were a result of being around me, that she shouldn't have a boyfriend, etc. These types of things are said to her literally every single day she has worked without stop. She has always not responded or tried to ignore him, yet he continues to do it every day. Again, this has continued for around 2 months or so

- Lastly, but certainly not least today her manager really crossed the line. He told her that I was cheating on her and came to eat dinner at his (their) restaurant with another woman (he knows what I look like because I met him once while she still worked at resturaunt X). He said he know's he was not mistaken either. It certainly WAS NOT me, and is a clear attempt by him to break her and I up so he may move in.

I'm very concerened, angry, and scared about this behavior, as is my girlfriend. I don't want her to end up like Annie Le for instance, and his aggressive behavior certainly merits action. It seems clear to me he has feelings for her.

She is currently setting up a meeting with her general manager (the manager in question's superior) to talk to her about what's been happening and to have action taken.

Can anyone please help me with advice, what are some legal steps she can take to ensure that she's safe from this creep and to prevent him from trying to make further advances on her as well as any girls he may over see in the future.

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mattbbpl

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#2 mattbbpl
Member since 2006 • 23024 Posts
Don't worry. You've come to the right place.
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Kcube

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#3 Kcube
Member since 2003 • 25398 Posts

OT are the pro's in legal advice.

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cd_rom

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#4 cd_rom
Member since 2003 • 13951 Posts
Start hitting on the manager and tell him the only reason your dating that girl is to get close to him.
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Fundai

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#5 Fundai
Member since 2010 • 6120 Posts

OT is full of super star lawyers, supreme court Judges, e.t.c we can set you straight man!

HAve your girlfriend sue him, because women always win these types of lawsuits, wether or no its true, but since this is true, and If you have witnesses, your sure to win...

Or your Girlfriend can get a new Job and just not ever go near the creep again.. Either way works.

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KeitekeTokage

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#6 KeitekeTokage
Member since 2011 • 770 Posts
Don't worry. You've come to the right place.mattbbpl
Some people on here are serious, others are not. I've already posted this same question on legal boards, this is just for extra input.
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cd_rom

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#7 cd_rom
Member since 2003 • 13951 Posts
Try to pimp her off.
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metroidfood

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#8 metroidfood
Member since 2007 • 11175 Posts

Challenge him to a sword fight. Punjabe-style.

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GeForce2187

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#9 GeForce2187
Member since 2006 • 2963 Posts
Has she considered becoming a trophy wife?
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cheese_game619

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#10 cheese_game619
Member since 2005 • 13317 Posts
[QUOTE="cd_rom"]Start hitting on the manager and tell him the only reason your dating that girl is to get close to him.

Bam. Perfect. Post results, TC.
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NerubianWeaver

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#11 NerubianWeaver
Member since 2010 • 2046 Posts
Hit the manger's wife
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GabuEx

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#12 GabuEx
Member since 2006 • 36552 Posts

Dude, contact a lawyer, not OT. This is serious business, and you shouldn't rely on us to give you sound legal advice.

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TacticalDesire

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#13 TacticalDesire
Member since 2010 • 10713 Posts

I'm not a legal expert, and I'm not going to pretend that I am, but what you are going to want to do is make sure you have eyewitness accounts of his harrasment and berating of you to use as testimonies if neccesary. It is important that you document as much as possible. Write stuff down, put dates, log it in your computer. Get other employees to see your predicament etc.

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KeitekeTokage

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#14 KeitekeTokage
Member since 2011 • 770 Posts

Dude, contact a lawyer, not OT. This is serious business, and you shouldn't rely on us to give you sound legal advice.

GabuEx
It was only for extra input for those who wanted to be serious. A lawyer can't be contacted until tomorrow and I've already duplicated this post on legal forums. So far, no ones been serious, which isn't surprising.
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deactivated-58df4522915cb

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#15 deactivated-58df4522915cb
Member since 2007 • 5527 Posts

Dude, contact a lawyer, not OT. This is serious business, and you shouldn't rely on us to give you sound legal advice.

GabuEx

This. call a lawyer.

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lightleggy

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#16 lightleggy
Member since 2008 • 16090 Posts
I swear if this thread ends up with the fresh prince song...
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jerk-o-tron2000

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#17 jerk-o-tron2000
Member since 2007 • 10036 Posts

No legal action......Just kick his ass. That'll teah him not to **** with you and yours.

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lightleggy

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#18 lightleggy
Member since 2008 • 16090 Posts

[QUOTE="GabuEx"]

Dude, contact a lawyer, not OT. This is serious business, and you shouldn't rely on us to give you sound legal advice.

Neo-ganon

This. call a lawyer.

well OT is your man when searching for lawyers, I've got the best lawyer in the world for tc

dont worry TC, courtesy of OT

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KeitekeTokage

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#19 KeitekeTokage
Member since 2011 • 770 Posts

I'm not a legal expert, and I'm not going to pretend that I am, but what you are going to want to do is make sure you have eyewitness accounts of his harrasment and berating of you to use as testimonies if neccesary. It is important that you document as much as possible. Write stuff down, put dates, log it in your computer. Get other employees to see your predicament etc.

TacticalDesire
Yep, that's what were doing right now with dates and all. Also making sure that the other employees will agree to sign statements of what they saw. Trying to find a lawyer starting tomorrow.
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alexside1

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#20 alexside1
Member since 2006 • 4412 Posts

Dude, contact a lawyer, not OT. This is serious business, and you shouldn't rely on us to give you sound legal advice.

GabuEx
My thoughts exactly. I never understand that people come here though
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Meat_Wad_Fan

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#21 Meat_Wad_Fan
Member since 2002 • 9054 Posts

Wait for him to get off work and punch him in the face, leave a yellow post-it note on his forehead telling him to piss off.... then piss on him.

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jman1553

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#22 jman1553
Member since 2009 • 1332 Posts
Bonus points for putting a sound recorder on your girlfriend to record the harassment as evidence. I don't know if that's legal or not, don't listen to me. Listen to a lawyer!
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VisigothSaxon

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#23 VisigothSaxon
Member since 2008 • 3789 Posts

Start hitting on the manager and tell him the only reason your dating that girl is to get close to him.cd_rom

Damn, that is some plausible sh*t.

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Bikouchu35

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#24 Bikouchu35
Member since 2009 • 8344 Posts

The OT legal experts righ har. Best of all is free.

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James161324

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#25 James161324
Member since 2009 • 8315 Posts

File a harrasement claim.

I'm tottally a lawyer in the magic world of the internet.

But really go talk to a lawyer in the actual world, don't come to the internet for serious stuff.

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KiIIyou

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#26 KiIIyou
Member since 2006 • 27204 Posts
Beat him up, film it and post on youtubes.
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POPEYE1716

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#27 POPEYE1716
Member since 2003 • 4749 Posts

Have your girl get close to him, have a shot gun wedding, two days later divorce, and you get half his stuff. Then tell him to F off

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weezyfb

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#28 weezyfb
Member since 2009 • 14703 Posts

Did she say to stop? If not you have no case

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Rod90

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#29 Rod90
Member since 2008 • 7269 Posts
You shouldn't be looking for legal advice with strangers over the internet.
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VensInferno

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#31 VensInferno
Member since 2010 • 3395 Posts

[QUOTE="GabuEx"]

Dude, contact a lawyer, not OT. This is serious business, and you shouldn't rely on us to give you sound legal advice.

Neo-ganon

This. call a lawyer.

Thats right, so call me :P

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whiplash26

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#32 whiplash26
Member since 2009 • 113 Posts

Usually one would request legal advice from a lawyer.

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mAArdman

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#33 mAArdman
Member since 2003 • 1612 Posts

If your life were a porno I would expect to see a threesome soon.

I don't think it is, however, so you should talk to a person of the laws.

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HAZE-Unit

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#34 HAZE-Unit
Member since 2007 • 10564 Posts

so who told you all of that?

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TacticalDesire

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#35 TacticalDesire
Member since 2010 • 10713 Posts

Stop being a p u s s y by posting anonymously on an internet forum and kick this guys ass and make sure he knows to stop harassing your gf and remind him that she is in fact your gf. Lawyers and lawsuits are for b i t c h e s that can't handle their s h i t.

ElPadilla

Yeah...don't listen to this. Worst piece of advice ever. If you go and do something like that, you could very likely lose the legal ground that you currently hold. The tables could turn even and you might be facing a lawsuit. Oh well this guy doesn't know what he's talking about.

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_R34LiTY_

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#36 _R34LiTY_
Member since 2008 • 3331 Posts

grab a well trusted buddy and do like these 2 john does

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=v1_yL9dZ8uk

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DigitalExile

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#37 DigitalExile
Member since 2008 • 16046 Posts

Step 1) Avoid all contact with this guy where possible. Don't listen to anyone who says something like "knock the guy out." Getting into a physical fight (or even verbal) isn't going to make your case look any better. Staying away from him means a) you don't get the mental/emotional abuse and b) things can't escalate

Step 2) Your gf is talking to her bosses so that's a good start, but also try and make sure she has the backup of other work mates. You say they are willing to signing claims, that's great. It's his word against the word of several other people. The power is on your side. If your girlfriend feels harrassed, and there are work collegues backing that up, then you have a strong case.

The main things against you are going to be like: why doesn't/didn't she leave her place of work if she was being harrassed, why didn't she (if she didn't) report this stuff earlier, why has no one else reported it, etc. Sometimes a lack on inaction can go against you, but I'm sure if your girlfriend (and the other co-workers) can all attest that at first it was just weird/uncomfortable and that only now it's become more worrying and damaging then again you should be fine.

I don't know the legality of it all, so I can't help you there, but obviously you have a bunch of people who can say he's been talking way too much about one of his staffs personal lives and that it has nothing to do with him, and your gf will obviously say that she's happy in her relationship with you and that none of his claims are true. The last real question is: do the other staff feel like his behaviour is dangerous damaging to your gf, you (and what about themselves?). If yes then it's quite clear no one feels comfortable around him.

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KeitekeTokage

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#38 KeitekeTokage
Member since 2011 • 770 Posts

Step 1) Avoid all contact with this guy where possible. Don't listen to anyone who says something like "knock the guy out." Getting into a physical fight (or even verbal) isn't going to make your case look any better. Staying away from him means a) you don't get the mental/emotional abuse and b) things can't escalate

Step 2) Your gf is talking to her bosses so that's a good start, but also try and make sure she has the backup of other work mates. You say they are willing to signing claims, that's great. It's his word against the word of several other people. The power is on your side. If your girlfriend feels harrassed, and there are work collegues backing that up, then you have a strong case.

The main things against you are going to be like: why doesn't/didn't she leave her place of work if she was being harrassed, why didn't she (if she didn't) report this stuff earlier, why has no one else reported it, etc. Sometimes a lack on inaction can go against you, but I'm sure if your girlfriend (and the other co-workers) can all attest that at first it was just weird/uncomfortable and that only now it's become more worrying and damaging then again you should be fine.

I don't know the legality of it all, so I can't help you there, but obviously you have a bunch of people who can say he's been talking way too much about one of his staffs personal lives and that it has nothing to do with him, and your gf will obviously say that she's happy in her relationship with you and that none of his claims are true. The last real question is: do the other staff feel like his behaviour is dangerous damaging to your gf, you (and what about themselves?). If yes then it's quite clear no one feels comfortable around him.

DigitalExile
Yes, none of them feel comfortable around him either and think his behavior towards her is very strange and unnecessary. And they obviously are baffled by his claim that I cheated on her and feel its a direct attempt to damage our relationship.
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scorch-62

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#39 scorch-62
Member since 2006 • 29763 Posts
Why would you consult the Internet instead of a lawyer?
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Joshywaa

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#40 Joshywaa
Member since 2002 • 10991 Posts

If people are so creeped out by him why the hell do they still work there?

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jerk-o-tron2000

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#41 jerk-o-tron2000
Member since 2007 • 10036 Posts

If people are so creeped out by him why the hell do they still work there?

Joshywaa

They love the attention...They are just too proud to admit it.

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Fundai

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#42 Fundai
Member since 2010 • 6120 Posts

If people are so creeped out by him why the hell do they still work there?

Joshywaa

Because they need a job???

SOme people can have trouble finding another one.

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KeitekeTokage

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#43 KeitekeTokage
Member since 2011 • 770 Posts

If people are so creeped out by him why the hell do they still work there?

Joshywaa
That's a good point. If there is a creepy person at a workplace, why don't they just let the creepy guy stay and all them leave?.......wait.
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jerk-o-tron2000

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#44 jerk-o-tron2000
Member since 2007 • 10036 Posts

Are they so gutless that they don't want to report him? Come on, if All the people he has abused stood up and said something, the guy would be gone in no time.

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Joshywaa

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#45 Joshywaa
Member since 2002 • 10991 Posts

[QUOTE="Joshywaa"]

If people are so creeped out by him why the hell do they still work there?

Fundai

Because they need a job???

SOme people can have trouble finding another one.

Well if they need the job so ****ing bad why aren't they at least complaining about him, then? A boss isn't suppose to make your work environment uncomfortable by saying the kind of s*** TC was talking about.

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Fundai

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#46 Fundai
Member since 2010 • 6120 Posts

[QUOTE="Fundai"]

[QUOTE="Joshywaa"]

If people are so creeped out by him why the hell do they still work there?

Joshywaa

Because they need a job???

SOme people can have trouble finding another one.

Well if they need the job so ****ing bad why aren't they at least complaining about him, then? A boss isn't suppose to make your work environment uncomfortable by saying the kind of s*** TC was talking about.

That I agree with. This should have ended long ago, they should have reported the creep.

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KeitekeTokage

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#47 KeitekeTokage
Member since 2011 • 770 Posts

[QUOTE="Joshywaa"]

[QUOTE="Fundai"]

Because they need a job???

SOme people can have trouble finding another one.

Fundai

Well if they need the job so ****ing bad why aren't they at least complaining about him, then? A boss isn't suppose to make your work environment uncomfortable by saying the kind of s*** TC was talking about.

That I agree with. This should have ended long ago, they should have reported the creep.

He only behaves like this towards my girlfriend. Not all creeps like all people all at the same time, often they focus in on one. Also, I've already explained they've had a history, he hasn't had one with anyone else at this new place. He doesn't do this with other employee's to my knowledge.
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punkpunker

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#48 punkpunker
Member since 2006 • 3383 Posts

you need an advice with the receptionist first so you can get the whole picture of his behaviour.

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KeitekeTokage

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#49 KeitekeTokage
Member since 2011 • 770 Posts

[QUOTE="Fundai"]

[QUOTE="Joshywaa"]

If people are so creeped out by him why the hell do they still work there?

Joshywaa

Because they need a job???

SOme people can have trouble finding another one.

Well if they need the job so ****ing bad why aren't they at least complaining about him, then? A boss isn't suppose to make your work environment uncomfortable by saying the kind of s*** TC was talking about.

He hasn't shown this type of behavior towards others as far as I know, just my girlfriend. This could be for a variety of reasons; their added history, (from old store) because he likes asians (she's asian and no one else is), he simply thinks she's better looking than others, etc.
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Shottayouth13-

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#50 Shottayouth13-
Member since 2009 • 7018 Posts
Get some masks and gloves and beat the crap of the manager.. If is actions continue, proceed to beat the crap out of him again. Rinse and repeat until lesson is learnt.