My father eats very loud, how do tell him

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#1 Edited by MDK12345 (2528 posts) -

This is an embarrassing topic. But over the last month I have really noticed it. He doesn't really eat with his mouth closed and it bothers me quite a bit. I can hear him smacking his lips together, the food rotating in his mouth, and it's pretty loud. On top of that he does things like lick his fingers and occasionally burps. It does get annoying. But the thing is that I know he would get pissed if I told him. I have told him about the licking fingers and one time he ate a bread that fell on the floor. He gets pretty pissed when I tell him that he does these things. But one time a friend I brought home after school noticed it. But the thing that really bothers me is how he eats with his mouth wide open and you can hear it. Has anyone ever known someone in their family that does it? Don't mean to sound mean, but I find it annoying!

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#2 Posted by korvus (10997 posts) -

Tell your mother to smack him upside the head for it =P

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#3 Posted by always_explicit (3379 posts) -

Probably because its his food that he worked a hard job to pay for, perhaps he even cooked it. Perhaps he didnt like your bratty little friend coming over for tea but he allowed it to make your life better. Perhaps if he wants to smack his lips in his house, at his table and you should suck it up and deal with it because he is your father.

Grow up move out and eat how you like?

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#4 Posted by LJS9502_basic (163059 posts) -

If it bothers you then you can skip eating his food. Problem solved.

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#5 Posted by korvus (10997 posts) -

@always_explicit: He also fathered a child and should teach by example, even in the simplest things such as table manners (Not trying to offend the TC). Earning money doesn't give you the right to do whatever you please if you're bothering other people, especially the ones who live with you and it certainly does not exempt you from having proper social behaviour.

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#6 Posted by commander (14553 posts) -

@mdk12345 said:

This is an embarrassing topic. But over the last month I have really noticed it. He doesn't really eat with his mouth closed and it bothers me quite a bit. I can hear him smacking his lips together, the food rotating in his mouth, and it's pretty loud. On top of that he does things like lick his fingers and occasionally burps. It does get annoying. But the thing is that I know he would get pissed if I told him. I have told him about the licking fingers and one time he ate a bread that fell on the floor. He gets pretty pissed when I tell him that he does these things. But one time a friend I brought home after school noticed it. But the thing that really bothers me is how he eats with his mouth wide open and you can hear it. Has anyone ever known someone in their family that does it? Don't mean to sound mean, but I find it annoying!

I think you would found it a lot more annoying if you would have to take care of yourself

Get over it

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#7 Edited by always_explicit (3379 posts) -

@korvus said:

@always_explicit: He also fathered a child and should teach by example, even in the simplest things such as table manners (Not trying to offend the TC). Earning money doesn't give you the right to do whatever you please if you're bothering other people, especially the ones who live with you and it certainly does not exempt you from having proper social behaviour.

In fairness social etiquette is something we applied to eating, the two do not have to be synonymous with each other particularly in the comfort of your own home. If anything his Dad is eating the normal way. Providing he isnt eating this way in a public place where he might cause offence to other diners I really do not see TC's issue.

Considering not everybody has food to eat, houses to live in, parents to enjoy...TC gets bent out of shape about chewing volume...

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#8 Edited by deactivated-5acfa3a8bc51d (7914 posts) -

Don't tell him because he will lock your thread

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#9 Edited by Master_Live (18821 posts) -

@mdk12345 said:

This is an embarrassing topic. But over the last month I have really noticed it. He doesn't really eat with his mouth closed and it bothers me quite a bit. I can hear him smacking his lips together, the food rotating in his mouth, and it's pretty loud. On top of that he does things like lick his fingers and occasionally burps. It does get annoying. But the thing is that I know he would get pissed if I told him. I have told him about the licking fingers and one time he ate a bread that fell on the floor. He gets pretty pissed when I tell him that he does these things. But one time a friend I brought home after school noticed it. But the thing that really bothers me is how he eats with his mouth wide open and you can hear it. Has anyone ever known someone in their family that does it? Don't mean to sound mean, but I find it annoying!

Frankly, I wouldn't stand for it since it greatly bothers me too. Do you eat together in the family table? As in all at once?

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#10 Posted by Master_Live (18821 posts) -

Now, I didn't really had to deal with this at home since we basically took our plates to our rooms to eat (long live TV!) and we only at the family table in family gatherings like Thanksgiving or Christmas. I would brought it up gently but firmly to let him know that it bothers you, outside of that take your play to your room of if that isn't possible, and he doesn't change after talking to him, then you are gonna have to suck it up.

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#11 Posted by jasean79 (2593 posts) -

Just ask him to stop. It's your Dad, man. It's not some stranger at a restaurant that you don't know how they're going to react and you feel all embarrassed. I would think you two would have a close enough of a bond to talk to each other about peeves that bother you. Just bring it up at the next meal. Maybe he'll even surprise you and mention something annoying that you do and in fairness, ask you to give that up, who knows?

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#12 Posted by korvus (10997 posts) -

@always_explicit: I see what you mean, but my family and I went through periods that we didn't have money to eat properly and barely enough to pay the rent, but that doesn't mean we started acting like slobs. My mother always said "we might not have money but we still have posture (manners)", so one thing does not exclude the other; manners cost nothing.

Also, the way I see it, if you have guests you're in public, even in your own home, and you should act accordingly.

Granted, it might not be a huge issue, but this isn't Oprah and the TC isn't exactly threatening suicide due to societal pressure, so it's all good =P

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#13 Posted by lbjkurono23 (12544 posts) -

Tell him to stop eating so loud. It really isn't that big of a deal.

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#14 Posted by BattleSpectre (7989 posts) -

You're afraid to tell your father how you feel? Some sort of relationship that is.....

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#15 Edited by MDK12345 (2528 posts) -

My uncle came over yesterday and I noticed my dad eats pretty much the same way. But most other people eat pretty silently. I don't like it when people eat with their mouth open and swish their food around. He probably doesn't know it. But when I tell him to not lick fingers he gets upset and says he likes to suck his fingers. I looked at him strange when he said that. I just don't think it's very appropriate in public (or anywhere.)

This was a topic I thought long and hard about. I had to make it because it bothers me. Maybe I'll tell my mom to tell him. But not sure he'll listen.

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#16 Edited by bowchicka07 (1104 posts) -

Maybe give him a taste of his own medicine? Just be more obscene and rude than he is and when he looks at you with disapproval just ask " how do you like it? huh?".

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#17 Posted by Cyberdot (3928 posts) -

He's your father, what are you afraid of? Get him told.

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#18 Edited by GazaAli (25216 posts) -

That's just a shitty situation altogether. Bad table manners drive me fucking insane. If you ate with me and pulled something irking like chewing food with your mouth open, you'd find me glaring furiously at you. The shitty part is that chances are, if you tell him he will most probably get offended and find it disrespectful. Don't ask me why or how this can be disrespectful, its just how parents perceive these things.

If I were you TC I wouldn't bring it up to him simply because it will prove futile. The very fact that your father allowed himself to have bad table manners in the first place is quite the indication of his unwillingness or lack of motivation for changing that behavior.

Edit: also I'm somehow surprised that some people are lashing at and chastising TC for being bothered by it. Nothing acquits you from having bad manners, period. The fact that his father provides for him and takes care of him is definitely worthy of applause and gratitude, but it has nothing to do with his bad table manners.

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#19 Posted by Dogswithguns (11359 posts) -

Tell nicely that he eats to loud and all that crap.. or move out, done deal.

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#20 Posted by MDK12345 (2528 posts) -

I wish I could move out but have no money, am not working and am going to school. To be honest, I don't care how someone eats when they are alone though as long as it doesn't affect me. I have caught myself shoving food down, but never do it when other people are around. I'm starting to wonder if it can be a result of a condition too. He did have lip issues orally.

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#21 Posted by foxhound_fox (96996 posts) -

There is a legitimate medical condition that affects people's tolerance of food eating noises.

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Misophonia

You might be able to convince him that you have this disorder.

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#22 Edited by thegerg (18397 posts) -

Talk to him politely if it's that big of a deal. Why is this even a question?

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#23 Posted by -ParaNormaN- (1491 posts) -

Peoples children aren't there to shut up and obey every little thing that a parent says just because they pay for their home and food. The parents wanted a kid to love and raise, so they should treat their children with respect. I suggest you tell your dad about his eating problem anyway. Parents get mad when they're told about their flaws from their kids, its natural to feel that way because its your kid telling you "Hey, you have a problem". Your dad will eventually listen to you if you bring it up enough. I told my dad about stuff a lot of times and he's fixed most of his issues. He also tells me about what problems I have all the time and I try to fix them as well. As long as you're not a spoiled kid who thinks that they have their parents by the balls then you'll be fine. That's what family does, tell each other the shit that other people won't.

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#24 Posted by BranKetra (51726 posts) -

@mdk12345 said:

I wish I could move out but have no money, am not working and am going to school. To be honest, I don't care how someone eats when they are alone though as long as it doesn't affect me. I have caught myself shoving food down, but never do it when other people are around. I'm starting to wonder if it can be a result of a condition too. He did have lip issues orally.

I suggest you research the condition he had and search for any long-term effects on his daily life including eating food. If you know he has seen a doctor, ask him if it does to be sure. If not, ask a doctor.

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#25 Edited by ferrari2001 (17763 posts) -

Every time you sit down for dinner put these on.

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#26 Posted by sukraj (27494 posts) -

tell him to his face

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#27 Posted by lamprey263 (34999 posts) -

I'm a very quiet eater but on occasion if the meal is messy I'll lick my fingers which seems to drive my sister nuts. She's a stuck up bitch though so I tend to agree with foxhound_fox and put that on other people. Then again there are just loud people, they do everything loud, can't eat quietly, I'm actually don't understand why people seem to huff and puff and breathe when they take a piss or shit, makes me feel like a ninja, I notice it but I wouldn't say it annoys me, just baffles me.

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#28 Posted by hippiesanta (10299 posts) -

@mdk12345:

U father must be either Asian .... or Irish .... lol

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#29 Posted by SolidSnake35 (58797 posts) -

Eat louder than him.

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#30 Edited by VaguelyTagged (10701 posts) -

@korvus said:

@always_explicit: He also fathered a child and should teach by example, even in the simplest things such as table manners (Not trying to offend the TC). Earning money doesn't give you the right to do whatever you please if you're bothering other people, especially the ones who live with you and it certainly does not exempt you from having proper social behaviour.

this.

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#31 Posted by Smokescreened84 (2565 posts) -

You could also tell him bluntly that other races outside of the solar system probably hear him eat.

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#32 Posted by always_explicit (3379 posts) -

@VaguelyTagged said:

@korvus said:

@always_explicit: He also fathered a child and should teach by example, even in the simplest things such as table manners (Not trying to offend the TC). Earning money doesn't give you the right to do whatever you please if you're bothering other people, especially the ones who live with you and it certainly does not exempt you from having proper social behaviour.

this.

If I cooked my family a BBQ and happen to end up with delicious BBQ sauce dripping all over my fingers....im sucking them, I dont care if my whiny little son thinks its irritating. I bought it I cooked it and im in my house. If my son didnt like it he can cook his own dinner and eat it on his own too. Life isnt always about being the perfect family unit and "communicating our problems for the well being of the family unit". Sometimes its just about sucking it up and realising that Dads a slob, Grandads a racist and Mum drinks too much wine in the evenings. Its a trivial issue that should be treated as such.

He wiped your ass a few thousand times and probably found that a little bit irritating, let the dude chew for christs sake.

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#33 Edited by RadecSupreme (4824 posts) -

That is indeed annoying. Most people I know, know how to eat properly, The only annoying thing my dad does is slurp his food.

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#34 Posted by indzman (27735 posts) -

Atleast your dad is not a raging alcaholic who belts you and your mother daily at night. You should be glad you even got a dad who loves eating , many unlucky people lost their dad or got abusive dads. Please leave your dad alone, let him enjoy his meal. If it still bothers you, move out / change your home.

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#35 Edited by Detroit222 (5371 posts) -

Talk to him with you are both ALONE - not at the table with the family. Mention it casually. If he doesn't stop, don't take it personally. And don't be a jerk. Lots of things we hated about our parents when we were young turn into nothing we get older.