Live on Your Terms

So I wanted to make this quick blog entry, and also share this with other people here, because I feel like I've learned a lot of valuable things about life in the past few weeks and maybe other people here with some problems of their own would appreciate the encouragement.

More and more, I'm reaching the point where I don't care what other people think of me. For years, for the better part of my life, I spent a great deal of time worrying about how I conducted myself, and if it was fair and appropriate. I had high standards, and I spent a lot of time trying to create a life for myself that was unreasonable. When that didn't work, I settled for what seemed like the next-best thing. But it turned out that I really just spent a lot of time putting myself on a pedestal, when really maybe what I've wanted all of this time is simple, worldly fun.

The result of my depriving myself of years of opportunities for fun and excitement, is that I am now years behind even people younger than me in terms of human experiences. I lack independence and my responsibility could be better than it is for sure, but my repression caused me to resent people, and to be miserable. A few short years from 30, and I guess I finally realized that I'm not the man I used to be. I've changed. And I'm embracing parts of myself that I locked away years ago because I was worried that people would judge me.

I'm selfish. And I'm fully aware of it. I ask a lot of the world, and deep down I love it whenever my privileges come through and I get attention from women. A short time ago I probably would have been at complete odds with this line of thinking, but now I realize that sometimes sacrificing something big is worth it for the freedom and new opportunities that it brings. It's okay to spoil yourself, to flirt, to have those experiences that those other hypocrite assholes are having. Because dammit, there is no rule-book for life - only your own principles, some of which might be entirely debatable and are just obstacles that keep you from growing as a person.

This week I've taken lots of chances, and had more new experiences than at any other point in my life. And I've loved it. I feel awful that it took me so long to realize that it's okay to be this way, that it's okay to behave the way others casually have for years while I tried to hold myself to this different standard. You don't win if you're putting up walls and not putting yourself out there. If you do that, the competition will just keep doing what it's doing and leave nothing for you. That's the way the world operates - you have to take initiative and go exploring in order to stand a chance at winning anything in this life.

I feel... Kind of like I was lied to, growing up, in elementary school. Granted, I learned more in school than I do these days, and it taught me the basics. But you grow up being taught that love will prevail, and the good way is the right way. But why are so many grown-ass people so unhappy - why hasn't love prevailed for them? And what is the good way, exactly? Because it's really complicated to sit here and say a lot of things are good and bad - that is why our society constantly debates shit and politics exist.

You've gotta make your own path in life. Don't listen to any of that bullshit, because that's all it really is. At the end of the day, you can't spend all of your time trying to please everyone else, because you're never going to. You've gotta do what makes you happy, what is right for you.

~ Ovirew

@Iszdope: Hear, hear.

@Master_Live: Wha? lol

Don't pay attention to me, I'm just messing around.

You don't know how close your blog comes to describe what I went through. But I just think it is a sign of personal maturity and not much else (no offense). Go out there and have some fun.

Not caring what other people think about you only really works when you don't want anything from other people.

Want a job? Then you should probably care what other people think about you. Do you want to get laid? Then you should probably care about what other people think about you. The fact is that no one's giving you a job out of charity. They're giving you a job because they THINK that giving you a job might be of some benefit to them. So if you WANT a job then you should probably try to make people think that you're an asset.

"I ask a lot of the world"

Have you ever bothered to stop and ask why the world should give you what you ask? What's in it for the world? You seriously don't see a contradiction between asking the world for a lot and saying that you don't care what others think of you? So...they're supposed to give you what you ask even if they don't want to? As if they somehow owe you what you ask for?

Are yer boozing it up tonight

@MrGeezer: I guess that's true of both kinds of jobs, then. I'll keep that in mind, lol.

As for the asking a lot of the world thing... Idk, I guess I hope that I'm being fair about things. For example, I always felt like I was never a person who was really shallow, I never really went after model-quality women. But recently I have kinda started questioning whether I actually need to lower my standards more, or improve what I bring to the table, or something. I think it's good to always be self-aware of things like that.

Everything in life is really a double-edged sword. You give something up in order to get something else. And there are tons of different factors to consider.

Looks like someone has outgrown peer pressure! :)

I've been there mate it's not a nice thing being addicted is it?

But how long have you been addicted to alchol

what works for is not going to necessarily work for others. you just have to try new things and do what makes you happy the most. i grew up being different not because i was trying to be a rebel but because that is who i am as a person. i tried to be like them but it just doesnt work for me. im not like them, its not who i am as a person.

everybody is the same to me, i feel like an outsider trapped inside a bubble.