Kim Jong-un sends a letter to world officials: ALL COUNTRIES SHOULD HAVE NUKES!

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#1 Posted by StaticOnTV (597 posts) -
http://www.newyorker.com/online/blogs/borowitzreport/2013/02/a-letter-from-kim-jong-un.html

PYONGYANG (The Borowitz Report)Kim Jong-un, Supreme Leader of the Democratic Peoples Republic of Korea, has issued the following letter to the citizens of the world: Dear World People: For decades, North Korea was threatened by hostile foes with nuclear weapons. With our safety constantly at risk from violent intruders, we asked: How can we possibly defend ourselves? In the immortal words of my dad, the glorious Kim Jong-il: The only thing that stops a bad guy with a nuke is a good guy with a nuke. I sleep safely at night knowing that a loaded nuclear silo is as close as the launch button on my nightstand. And now I understand what Dad, in his genius, instinctively knew: that the world will not be truly safe until every nation has nuclear weapons. Perhaps because these weapons are so necessary to our defense, the U.S. government, with its lapdogs at the United Nations, is plotting to take them away from us. But as Dad used to say, When they come for our nukes. That is why today I am founding the Nuclear Retaliation Association to defend the sovereign right of every nation on the planet to engulf that planet in a hellish inferno. If you join today, we will waive the initiation fee and send you this bumper sticker: Nuclear weapons dont kill people. People kill people who dont have nuclear weapons.

This man... Is brilliant:  The main lesson is that he basically thinks all nations should have nukes for the protection of each nations sovereignty.
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#2 Posted by PannicAtack (21040 posts) -
If it weren't for that whole "its people are starving to death" thing, North Korea would be the funniest dictatorship ever.
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#3 Posted by JML897 (33134 posts) -
Are you Kim Jong-un
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#4 Posted by JamesElfman (98 posts) -
If it weren't for that whole "its people are starving to death" thing, North Korea would be the funniest dictatorship ever.PannicAtack
its obvious that fatass un isnt starving.
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#5 Posted by lamprey263 (34376 posts) -
sounds like a satire piece mocking the people who say we'd all be safer if everybody was armed with a gun
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#6 Posted by ramealdabest (519 posts) -

He looks thinner form that angle.

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#7 Posted by lostrib (49999 posts) -

I don't think Iran should have a nuke

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#8 Posted by JML897 (33134 posts) -
sounds like a satire piece mocking the people who say we'd all be safer if everybody was armed with a gunlamprey263
It's The Borowitz Report, so yes.
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#9 Posted by lamprey263 (34376 posts) -
[QUOTE="lamprey263"]sounds like a satire piece mocking the people who say we'd all be safer if everybody was armed with a gunJML897
It's The Borowitz Report, so yes.

yeah, I'm not familiar with that but I got a clue when I looked at the other articles and saw "U.S. CANCELS REGULAR DRONE STRIKES ON SATURDAYS"
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#10 Posted by k2theswiss (16599 posts) -
i do find it funny that. big nations are allowed to have one YET don't want others....
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#11 Posted by Dogswithguns (11357 posts) -
At least he didn't say no one can have nukes, accept for NK.. he sounds fair to every one.
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#12 Posted by gamerguru100 (12686 posts) -

Looks like  the Nuclear Retaliation Association is the new NRA. :P

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#13 Posted by gamerguru100 (12686 posts) -

At least he didn't say no one can have nukes, accept for NK.. he sounds fair to every one.Dogswithguns
*except*

Learn your grammar, mister. :P

JK.

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#14 Posted by Explosive_Bagel (153 posts) -
  
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#15 Posted by CHOASXIII (14696 posts) -

Sounds like Kim Jong Fun to me. 

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#16 Posted by Rattlesnake_8 (18452 posts) -
It's sad to think a government cares more about building nukes and putting it's people in slave labor camps than actuallytrying to educate it's people, provide health care and basically care about them.
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#17 Posted by StaticOnTV (597 posts) -
It's sad to think a government cares more about building nukes and putting it's people in slave labor camps than actuallytrying to educate it's people, provide health care and basically care about them.Rattlesnake_8
Politcal labor camps are not the bad camps dude. They have 3 different sets of camps, only one is actually bad, one is rehabilitation, and oe is a temporary holding place for foreigners if something bad happens. Say Jong-un was assasinated, they would move the foreigners to these camps until they are sure no foreigner commited the crime, these camps have no labor.
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#18 Posted by Dogswithguns (11357 posts) -

[QUOTE="Dogswithguns"]At least he didn't say no one can have nukes, accept for NK.. he sounds fair to every one.gamerguru100

*except*

Learn your grammar, mister. :P

JK.

Thank you, sir... also every one in the world should own guns too, instead of outlawed them.. 8)
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#19 Posted by deactivated-59f03d6ce656b (2944 posts) -
[QUOTE="Rattlesnake_8"]It's sad to think a government cares more about building nukes and putting it's people in slave labor camps than actuallytrying to educate it's people, provide health care and basically care about them.StaticOnTV
Politcal labor camps are not the bad camps dude. They have 3 different sets of camps, only one is actually bad, one is rehabilitation, and oe is a temporary holding place for foreigners if something bad happens. Say Jong-un was assasinated, they would move the foreigners to these camps until they are sure no foreigner commited the crime, these camps have no labor.

The reeducation camps are labor camps too, many people also die in them due to disease/hunger.
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#20 Posted by osirisx3 (2113 posts) -

thank you glorious leader comrade kim jong un red sun of juche and defeneder of the worlds opprest peoples.

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#21 Posted by Chris_Williams (14882 posts) -

no one should have nukes

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#22 Posted by StaticOnTV (597 posts) -
[QUOTE="StaticOnTV"][QUOTE="Rattlesnake_8"]It's sad to think a government cares more about building nukes and putting it's people in slave labor camps than actuallytrying to educate it's people, provide health care and basically care about them.Person0
Politcal labor camps are not the bad camps dude. They have 3 different sets of camps, only one is actually bad, one is rehabilitation, and oe is a temporary holding place for foreigners if something bad happens. Say Jong-un was assasinated, they would move the foreigners to these camps until they are sure no foreigner commited the crime, these camps have no labor.

The reeducation camps are labor camps too, many people also die in them due to disease/hunger.

No, I lump the reducation camps with the prison camps, I am talking about the rehabilitation camps that TEST the faith to see if they get sent to re- they sure do have a lot of camps now that I think about it. But yeah, two out of I guess 4 if I separate the reducation and prison camps, are not bad.
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#23 Posted by Fightingfan (38011 posts) -
I agree. I like nuclear deterrence no one ever gets hurt.
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#24 Posted by DJ-Lafleur (35510 posts) -

no one should have nukes

Chris_Williams

A little too late for that.

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#25 Posted by Fightingfan (38011 posts) -

i do find it funny that. big nations are allowed to have one YET don't want others.... k2theswiss
I find it funny all the Arab nations signed the anti-nuke treaty with America in the 1960s, but Israel didn't and won't.

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Treaty_on_the_Non-Proliferation_of_Nuclear_Weapons

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#26 Posted by Celldrax (15035 posts) -

TDgqZyy.png

Sorry, grorious reader, but I think the opposite should be true. There'd be no need for nuclear deterrents if no one had them in the first place. But of course, that'll never happen. Just have to hope no government suddenly goes batsh*t insane (relatively speaking).

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#27 Posted by Rhazakna (11022 posts) -
I'm anti-nuke, but as long as they exist, it might be better if all countries had them. MAD on a wide scale may be better overall.
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#28 Posted by Omni-Wrath (1970 posts) -

[QUOTE="k2theswiss"]i do find it funny that. big nations are allowed to have one YET don't want others.... Fightingfan

I find it funny all the Arab nations signed the anti-nuke treaty with America in the 1960s, but Israel didn't and won't.

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Treaty_on_the_Non-Proliferation_of_Nuclear_Weapons

Israel does what it wants.

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#29 Posted by lightleggy (16090 posts) -

http://www.newyorker.com/online/blogs/borowitzreport/2013/02/a-letter-from-kim-jong-un.html

PYONGYANG (The Borowitz Report)Kim Jong-un, Supreme Leader of the Democratic Peoples Republic of Korea, has issued the following letter to the citizens of the world: Dear World People: For decades, North Korea was threatened by hostile foes with nuclear weapons. With our safety constantly at risk from violent intruders, we asked: How can we possibly defend ourselves? In the immortal words of my dad, the glorious Kim Jong-il: The only thing that stops a bad guy with a nuke is a good guy with a nuke. I sleep safely at night knowing that a loaded nuclear silo is as close as the launch button on my nightstand. And now I understand what Dad, in his genius, instinctively knew: that the world will not be truly safe until every nation has nuclear weapons. StaticOnTV

 

Dear Lord...I sincerily hope that guy doesn't have any nightmare ever.

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#30 Posted by Nibroc420 (13571 posts) -

 There'd be no need for nuclear deterrents if no one had them in the first place.

Celldrax

Yeah, if only we could go back to the gold old days, before knowlege, science, medicine.

If only we **** humans just didn't learn anything ever, and were still running around in the wild, then the world would be better off.

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#31 Posted by thebest31406 (3775 posts) -
[QUOTE="StaticOnTV"]http://www.newyorker.com/online/blogs/borowitzreport/2013/02/a-letter-from-kim-jong-un.html

PYONGYANG (The Borowitz Report)Kim Jong-un, Supreme Leader of the Democratic Peoples Republic of Korea, has issued the following letter to the citizens of the world: Dear World People: For decades, North Korea was threatened by hostile foes with nuclear weapons. With our safety constantly at risk from violent intruders, we asked: How can we possibly defend ourselves? In the immortal words of my dad, the glorious Kim Jong-il: The only thing that stops a bad guy with a nuke is a good guy with a nuke. I sleep safely at night knowing that a loaded nuclear silo is as close as the launch button on my nightstand. And now I understand what Dad, in his genius, instinctively knew: that the world will not be truly safe until every nation has nuclear weapons. Perhaps because these weapons are so necessary to our defense, the U.S. government, with its lapdogs at the United Nations, is plotting to take them away from us. But as Dad used to say, When they come for our nukes. That is why today I am founding the Nuclear Retaliation Association to defend the sovereign right of every nation on the planet to engulf that planet in a hellish inferno. If you join today, we will waive the initiation fee and send you this bumper sticker: Nuclear weapons dont kill people. People kill people who dont have nuclear weapons.

This man... Is brilliant:  The main lesson is that he basically thinks all nations should have nukes for the protection of each nations sovereignty.

I wouldn't call the man brilliant for God sake......but he is right. Given the current imperialist trends as of late, a state would be stupid not to have nukes.
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#32 Posted by ad1x2 (6583 posts) -

i do find it funny that. big nations are allowed to have one YET don't want others.... k2theswiss

That is like saying you think it is funny and unfair that registered sex offenders with teaching degrees can't be kindergarten teachers like their peers with no criminal record can.

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#33 Posted by Nibroc420 (13571 posts) -

[QUOTE="k2theswiss"]i do find it funny that. big nations are allowed to have one YET don't want others.... ad1x2

That is like saying you think it is funny and unfair that registered sex offenders with teaching degrees can't be kindergarten teachers like their peers with no criminal record can.

:lol: @ suggesting the USA has no human rights offenses, or slavery, or crowded prisons, never has, and is somehow above other countries.

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#34 Posted by Lonelynight (30050 posts) -
I thought this was real at first
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#35 Posted by chaplainDMK (7004 posts) -
[QUOTE="Rattlesnake_8"]It's sad to think a government cares more about building nukes and putting it's people in slave labor camps than actuallytrying to educate it's people, provide health care and basically care about them.StaticOnTV
Politcal labor camps are not the bad camps dude. They have 3 different sets of camps, only one is actually bad, one is rehabilitation, and oe is a temporary holding place for foreigners if something bad happens. Say Jong-un was assasinated, they would move the foreigners to these camps until they are sure no foreigner commited the crime, these camps have no labor.

Pol Pot had rehabilitation camps, lethality rate was something like 90%
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#36 Posted by Celldrax (15035 posts) -

[QUOTE="Celldrax"]

 There'd be no need for nuclear deterrents if no one had them in the first place.

Nibroc420

Yeah, if only we could go back to the gold old days, before knowlege, science, medicine.

If only we **** humans just didn't learn anything ever, and were still running around in the wild, then the world would be better off.

You know what I f*cking mean.

Making scientific advancements is one thing. But having WMD's just sitting around, rusting, is pretty pointless.

But of course, man loves to fight. That will never change.

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#37 Posted by TheWalkingGhost (6092 posts) -
I declare my independence from the USA. Now give me my damn bomb!
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#38 Posted by ad1x2 (6583 posts) -

[QUOTE="ad1x2"]

[QUOTE="k2theswiss"]i do find it funny that. big nations are allowed to have one YET don't want others.... Nibroc420

That is like saying you think it is funny and unfair that registered sex offenders with teaching degrees can't be kindergarten teachers like their peers with no criminal record can.

:lol: @ suggesting the USA has no human rights offenses, or slavery, or crowded prisons, never has, and is somehow above other countries.

When did I ever say that the US has never had human rights offenses, slavery, or crowded prisons? My ancestors were slaves, my mother was alive when segregation was still in effect, and I had more than one family member spend time behind bars. Just because I don't act like some Blame America First sheep or ask where my "40 Acres and a Mule" are like some of the adults I grew up around doesn't mean I don't acknowledge we have problems.

But the real question is do you actually think North Korea should be putting effort in making nukes when they have people so hungry they may be resorting to cannibalism? We have poor people but at least we have entitlement programs to feed them as long as they aren't too proud to use them. I used food stamps to eat until I joined the military. We're not perfect but we are a hell of a lot better than Best Korea.

If you don't agree with that let me remind you that nobody but the elites over there can use the internet for starters, they have a state-ran intranet that is heavily censored. It is airgapped from the regular internet, so trying to use a VPN to get to Gamespot and your porn won't help you.

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#39 Posted by TheWalkingGhost (6092 posts) -

[QUOTE="Nibroc420"]

[QUOTE="ad1x2"]

That is like saying you think it is funny and unfair that registered sex offenders with teaching degrees can't be kindergarten teachers like their peers with no criminal record can.

ad1x2

:lol: @ suggesting the USA has no human rights offenses, or slavery, or crowded prisons, never has, and is somehow above other countries.

When did I ever say that the US has never had human rights offenses, slavery, or crowded prisons? My ancestors were slaves, my mother was alive when segregation was still in effect, and I had more than one family member spend time behind bars. Just because I don't act like some Blame America First sheep or ask where my "40 Acres and a Mule" are like some of the adults I grew up around doesn't mean I don't acknowledge we have problems.

But the real question is do you actually think North Korea should be putting effort in making nukes when they have people so hungry they may be resorting to cannibalism? We have poor people but at least we have entitlement programs to feed them as long as they aren't too proud to use them. I used food stamps to eat until I joined the military. We're not perfect but we are a hell of a lot better than Best Korea.

If you don't agree with that let me remind you that nobody but the elites over there can use the internet for starters, they have a state-ran intranet that is heavily censored. It is airgapped from the regular internet, so trying to use a VPN to get to Gamespot and your porn won't help you.

Milford Sound in New Zealand
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#40 Posted by ad1x2 (6583 posts) -
[QUOTE="ad1x2"]

[QUOTE="Nibroc420"] :lol: @ suggesting the USA has no human rights offenses, or slavery, or crowded prisons, never has, and is somehow above other countries.

TheWalkingGhost

When did I ever say that the US has never had human rights offenses, slavery, or crowded prisons? My ancestors were slaves, my mother was alive when segregation was still in effect, and I had more than one family member spend time behind bars. Just because I don't act like some Blame America First sheep or ask where my "40 Acres and a Mule" are like some of the adults I grew up around doesn't mean I don't acknowledge we have problems.

But the real question is do you actually think North Korea should be putting effort in making nukes when they have people so hungry they may be resorting to cannibalism? We have poor people but at least we have entitlement programs to feed them as long as they aren't too proud to use them. I used food stamps to eat until I joined the military. We're not perfect but we are a hell of a lot better than Best Korea.

If you don't agree with that let me remind you that nobody but the elites over there can use the internet for starters, they have a state-ran intranet that is heavily censored. It is airgapped from the regular internet, so trying to use a VPN to get to Gamespot and your porn won't help you.

Milford Sound in New Zealand

I would hope somebody who has over ten thousand posts wouldn't be a troll. Plus, the amount of anti-US posters here make it hard to know who is a troll and who really hates the US that much.
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#41 Posted by Angie7F (1175 posts) -

Well, the guy has a point.

Any country that has one is in no position to argue against him. LOL

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#42 Posted by thebest31406 (3775 posts) -

[QUOTE="Nibroc420"]

[QUOTE="ad1x2"]

That is like saying you think it is funny and unfair that registered sex offenders with teaching degrees can't be kindergarten teachers like their peers with no criminal record can.

ad1x2

:lol: @ suggesting the USA has no human rights offenses, or slavery, or crowded prisons, never has, and is somehow above other countries.

When did I ever say that the US has never had human rights offenses, slavery, or crowded prisons? My ancestors were slaves, my mother was alive when segregation was still in effect, and I had more than one family member spend time behind bars. Just because I don't act like some Blame America First sheep or ask where my "40 Acres and a Mule" are like some of the adults I grew up around doesn't mean I don't acknowledge we have problems.

But the real question is do you actually think North Korea should be putting effort in making nukes when they have people so hungry they may be resorting to cannibalism? We have poor people but at least we have entitlement programs to feed them as long as they aren't too proud to use them. I used food stamps to eat until I joined the military. We're not perfect but we are a hell of a lot better than Best Korea.

If you don't agree with that let me remind you that nobody but the elites over there can use the internet for starters, they have a state-ran intranet that is heavily censored. It is airgapped from the regular internet, so trying to use a VPN to get to Gamespot and your porn won't help you.

Right...but what does that have to do with the question of who is entitled to carry nuclear weapons? PS: This is not to piggyback off Nibroc statement because I hate that guy
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#43 Posted by ad1x2 (6583 posts) -
[QUOTE="thebest31406"] Right...but what does that have to do with the question of who is entitled to carry nuclear weapons? PS: This is not to piggyback off Nibroc statement because I hate that guy

My statement was mostly a rebuttal to his statement bringing up slavery and other issues that had nothing to do with my original post. Looking back I did go into a small rant. My original post was a rebuttal for the guy saying we had no right to stop North Korea from having nukes when I compared letting them have nukes with letting a registered sex offender be a schoolteacher.
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#44 Posted by EPaul (9917 posts) -

Has he lost weight ? 

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#45 Posted by kuraimen (28078 posts) -
i do find it funny that. big nations are allowed to have one YET don't want others.... k2theswiss
That's the nature of bullies.
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#46 Posted by kuraimen (28078 posts) -
[QUOTE="ad1x2"][QUOTE="thebest31406"] Right...but what does that have to do with the question of who is entitled to carry nuclear weapons? PS: This is not to piggyback off Nibroc statement because I hate that guy

My statement was mostly a rebuttal to his statement bringing up slavery and other issues that had nothing to do with my original post. Looking back I did go into a small rant. My original post was a rebuttal for the guy saying we had no right to stop North Korea from having nukes when I compared letting them have nukes with letting a registered sex offender be a schoolteacher.

A registered sex offender? Wouldn't that analogy be the US? since, you know, the US has actually USED nukes while NK hasn't.
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#47 Posted by ad1x2 (6583 posts) -
[QUOTE="kuraimen"][QUOTE="ad1x2"][QUOTE="thebest31406"] Right...but what does that have to do with the question of who is entitled to carry nuclear weapons? PS: This is not to piggyback off Nibroc statement because I hate that guy

My statement was mostly a rebuttal to his statement bringing up slavery and other issues that had nothing to do with my original post. Looking back I did go into a small rant. My original post was a rebuttal for the guy saying we had no right to stop North Korea from having nukes when I compared letting them have nukes with letting a registered sex offender be a schoolteacher.

A registered sex offender? Wouldn't that analogy be the US? since, you know, the US has actually USED nukes while NK hasn't.

Come on, man, even you can't be that dense....
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#48 Posted by IPWNDU2 (2535 posts) -

Yeah I can see it now, NK throws a nuke at someone and 200 somones throw one back

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#49 Posted by Nibroc420 (13571 posts) -

[QUOTE="Nibroc420"]

[QUOTE="ad1x2"]

That is like saying you think it is funny and unfair that registered sex offenders with teaching degrees can't be kindergarten teachers like their peers with no criminal record can.

ad1x2

:lol: @ suggesting the USA has no human rights offenses, or slavery, or crowded prisons, never has, and is somehow above other countries.

When did I ever say that the US has never had human rights offenses, slavery, or crowded prisons? My ancestors were slaves, my mother was alive when segregation was still in effect, and I had more than one family member spend time behind bars. Just because I don't act like some Blame America First sheep or ask where my "40 Acres and a Mule" are like some of the adults I grew up around doesn't mean I don't acknowledge we have problems.

But the real question is do you actually think North Korea should be putting effort in making nukes when they have people so hungry they may be resorting to cannibalism? We have poor people but at least we have entitlement programs to feed them as long as they aren't too proud to use them. I used food stamps to eat until I joined the military. We're not perfect but we are a hell of a lot better than Best Korea.

If you don't agree with that let me remind you that nobody but the elites over there can use the internet for starters, they have a state-ran intranet that is heavily censored. It is airgapped from the regular internet, so trying to use a VPN to get to Gamespot and your porn won't help you.

1.) You need to stop thinking the USA is king of the world, and is somehow "worthy" of having the nukes because you're being extremely ethnocentric. 2.) Other countries have differing cultures, diets, and lifestyles. It is not for you, or I, to judge them, or to question their actions. It's their country, their culture. They're not some sort of savages you need to tame.
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#50 Posted by comp_atkins (34245 posts) -
onion article?