im a up and coming rapper....

ive been writing rhymes for like 5-6 years now and lately alot has been game based and i figured id do one to one of the most recognizeable series ever....mario....then i did one for halo and while the mario one has to be redone (stupid guitar hero mic) the halo one is presentable. now if you listen look past the horrid production value and just tell me honestly what you think HERES the link enjoy!:D id like comment if you can plz

i mean its not my best but its the best thing i have that pertains to games and gaming topics...check my other stuff namely one called "fire" its not bad...

I don't mean to be critical but I was very surprised to hear that you lacked any real emotion whatsoever. Not to rub my scrutiny in any harder but I was very much considering that this is a joke for quite a few reasons but if it's not I hope you will appreciate this constructive criticism. The only reason I see any art being pursued is to exude your persona and feelings toward something and all I got was that you were subconsciously uninterested in what you were saying and on top of that it lacked any fluidity or tone. Try figuring out what your reason is for doing this then try to build confidence, once you have done this then figure out why you are using the specific words you use and listen to the music while doing this. I was under the impression that most rappers create a beat to go with the vocals but it seems you have done the opposite, if this is the case then you should be creating lyrics from the music.

OT, become an artist in a genre that requires musical talent. otherwise you are just plaguing the world with more of the same garbage.nimatoad2000

Pretty bad, Makes Soulja boi sound like 2pac :| True Story..

I'm a huge rap fan and I don't want to be an ass, I want to give some genuine criticism which may or may not help you improve. I didn't like it.

4. things were wrong for me personally.

1. Deliverance. I found it to be too slow, which isn't a bad thing, but your voice didn't really do anything creative. It was the same tone pattern over and over every line, which made your slow deliverance sound as bland as hell. I don't know whether it's just my personal taste, I like more agressive and precision deliverance vocally.

2. Theme. This is something that i guess I can't really tell you to change, but I think that taking yourself seriously when rapping about video games is really lame. It makes you look like a poser. If you gave it some more flare and humour, and used your voice to make this lack of seriousness obvious, it wouldn't look anywhere near as silly.

3. The beat. I really think you need to consider the music you rap to far more seriously. This particular background music, Halo, just doesn't really go well with rap, sorry.

4. Lyrics. This was the worst for me out of what I had to complain about. To me, and many other rap fans (The ones who like real rap anyway) want to hear stories about people's lives, and cold hard facts of life that make you think. I found myself rolling my eyes just listening to your lyrics, without even taking into account the other aspects. All I heard was 'Yeah I'm the best, I'm taking this into lockdown, I like to inflate my ego etc.'. Again, this could be taste. Maybe you listen to all this new crap like Lil Wayne and Soulja Boy, where the lyrics are just garbage. Me, I like KRS-One, N.W.A. and all that, where lyrics are the top priority.

Now, don't listen to all these people saying that rap is bad and all that, they either don't understand what true rap is, or they just don't like it, so forget them. As someone who likes rap, I'm telling you that it wasn't very good, and as harsh as it feels to say it, it was fake.

Sorry man :(.

I would like my brain cells i lost while listening to that back please.

Sounds like you're whispering because your parents are sleeping.

[QUOTE="nimatoad2000"]OT, become an artist in a genre that requires musical talent. otherwise you are just plaguing the world with more of the same garbage.Homiegesus

Good rap takes a lyrical, expressive, and poetic talent I could never dream of, and I respect that, but I agree with nimatoad, it doesn't take much musical talent at all. A good rapper is a good poet/lyricist, they are masters of language, but they are not musicians.

Still, that was pretty bad in both respects, sorry, TC. :(

I can't judge because if i imagined it in better quality then it isn't to bad but as it stands now it just kind of hurts my head because of the tremendous quality esspecially for music but the lyrics are good.

Didn't like it.Lonelynight

You need more energy and expression. atm it just sounds you like you don't care. BTW asking for OT's opinion won't get you anywhere as a large amount of people here hate rap.

You need a better story, I just heard words that rhymed but otherwise sometimes didn't make any sense more then it sounded the same,

You need better producing equipment for sure to make it sound better but I would say it was alright the problem is that it took you 5-6 years to get to these standards, sorry :/

You sound like a white guy so leave the N word out of your rhymes...

You need a better story, I just heard words that rhymed but otherwise sometimes didn't make any sense more then it sounded the same,

You need better producing equipment for sure to make it sound better but I would say it was alright the problem is that it took you 5-6 years to get to these standards, sorry :/

You sound like a white guy so leave the N word out of your rhymes...

carlandcarl

Here here!

I listened and just thought, WOW, did he just say that?

also, while I appreciate that you may be a very big fan of rap and all things "gangsta", remember, you probably aren't very "gangsta" yourself. Which just makes you sound a little deluded and a bit pretentious.Add some flair and some humour. liven it up a bit. you're vocalizing a passion for gaming.it doesn't sound rightbeingseriousabout something that is generally a fun and enjoyablehobby or passtime.

As another poster noted, the best rappers put their personal stories and life in their art. Eminem, Jay-Z and even Egomanic and professional Jackass Kanye West put their heart in their rhymes. you have none of that.

i'm being honest. I'm sorry if this puts achink in your bling,or whatever... but it really isn't you man.

And, the Halo Theme, Iconic, Heroic, mythic and internationally lauded as the best Video game theme ever cemented in history.It should evoke feelings of utter awesomeness... imagine if one of the rappers above used it?how would they use it?What would they "lace the track" with? Probably deep and meaningful prose and relevations of inner growth or turmoil, and maybe something to laugh at... the things that good rappers are good at.

What you did, and this is my simon cowell impression, was wrong... just wrong...

im actually black soo...ok i do appreciate everyones feed back so thank you...