If a lady hit you, would you hit her back?

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#51 Posted by XVision84 (15317 posts) -

@mrbojangles25: Some would definitely interpret that as belittling, though. I think that's one modern day societal problem, there are too many different opinions in a complicated world. Things can get misconstrued and out of hand very quickly.

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#52 Posted by So_Carrieous (44 posts) -

Hitting women is a big no no. We want equality in every case, or the modern generation or whatever this feminist movement is called does, but then when it comes to a case where the man really is stronger, we call foul. **i do not believe in hitting women**. I did know a husband that would beat his wife. IMO such people are the scum of the earth. Psychological damage to both the wife and children. Ultimate in being 100% selfish and oblivious, something I’d also refer to as incredibly stupid.

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#53 Posted by XVision84 (15317 posts) -

@horgen: There are a lot of sickening child abuse cases that just boggle my mind. Evolutionary biology places principal focus on well adjusted offspring as a means of "success" yet so many factors seem to bite at that when it comes to humans.

My mom was always vehement in saying that no mother can hate their own child, but there is just so much evidence of the contrary. It really is sad.

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#54 Posted by Horgen (119670 posts) -

@XVision84 said:

@horgen: There are a lot of sickening child abuse cases that just boggle my mind. Evolutionary biology places principal focus on well adjusted offspring as a means of "success" yet so many factors seem to bite at that when it comes to humans.

My mom was always vehement in saying that no mother can hate their own child, but there is just so much evidence of the contrary. It really is sad.

My case had nothing to do with child abuse, but there was 8 inch or more difference between these two.

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#55 Posted by XVision84 (15317 posts) -

@horgen: Oh I see, well I went off on a tangent there :P. It's a good thing that you were there to step in though!

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#56 Edited by jun_aka_pekto (25203 posts) -
@so_carrieous said:

Hitting women is a big no no. We want equality in every case, or the modern generation or whatever this feminist movement is called does, but then when it comes to a case where the man really is stronger, we call foul. **i do not believe in hitting women**. I did know a husband that would beat his wife. IMO such people are the scum of the earth. Psychological damage to both the wife and children. Ultimate in being 100% selfish and oblivious, something I’d also refer to as incredibly stupid.

You obviously haven't seen all the women types here in the US. Some could actually pass for a guy.

I remember one time in my unit, we had a female NCO. We had a young new troop arrive. I told him to go upstairs and talk to the female sergeant. He came back down and told me he didn't find any females upstairs. ;)

From that point on, I was more specific.

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#57 Edited by PimpHand_Gamer (2841 posts) -

No. I'm man enough to restrain her and prevent her from hitting me more or hurting herself. Lots of things hurt but doesn't mean you have to retaliate.

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#58 Edited by jun_aka_pekto (25203 posts) -
@pimphand_gamer said:

No. I'm man enough to restrain her and prevent her from hitting me more or hurting herself. Lots of things hurt but doesn't mean you have to retaliate.

How do you restrain a wildcat who hits, claws, kicks, and bites? Pray you don't have long hair because she'd tear that up too.

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#59 Posted by So_Carrieous (44 posts) -

@jun_aka_pekto:

Wtf? Sorry babe I’m not really understanding you.

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#60 Posted by jun_aka_pekto (25203 posts) -
@so_carrieous said:

@jun_aka_pekto:

Wtf? Sorry babe I’m not really understanding you.

I'm probably the one who misunderstood your post. Must be my hangover from last night. ;)

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#61 Posted by So_Carrieous (44 posts) -

@jun_aka_pekto:

What’s with the wink? Don’t be a creep.

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#62 Edited by MirkoS77 (13833 posts) -

No, men are inherently stronger than women. I don't think a woman should be able to hide behind her sex, but if a man is hit he should move to restrain her until help arrives and she calms down and not outright assault her. It's the same to me as if a child hit me, you don't hit the child back out of principle of equality. With a man's strength compared to a woman it's perfectly possible to hold her arms behind her back or pin her to the ground if needs be. Now if she's of such size or ability that she's presenting a legitimate physical threat to the person of their safety, then it's throw down time. Otherwise no, you don't strike females.

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#64 Edited by tocool340 (21332 posts) -

Depends on intent. I'd most likely call the cops before swinging back if her intent was to do great bodily harm...

I have no desire to stand there and get my ass kicked, so yeah, I would fight back. Don't really care about size. If you know you're outmatch, then you shouldn't go out of your way to pick fights with someone you can't handle...

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#65 Posted by So_Carrieous (44 posts) -

@tocool340:

Most guys think they know how to fight but really don’t. I know a bunch of guys that wouldn’t stand a chance against some of the females I know. We live in the age of the sissy. It is rare where a man prefers face to face contact. You may not believe this but most guys would first talk crap on the internet before saying it to someone’s face. All you got to do is open up a YouTube comment section and read the troll/hater comments.

Women can get away with it a bit more, another playing to the stereotype/hypocrite thing, but then it is literally them calling themselves trash.

I don’t think people would argue against this being the age of the sissy boys or trashy females. Nature of the internet I guess.

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#66 Edited by Hybrilynx (5 posts) -

It depends if it hurt. Usually when a lady hits me the force is like a 8 year old hitting me. In all seriousness it's like hitting someone who pat my back. But if it did hurt and they punch me in the face, I'd probably do something if they haven't realized that they fd up or if it really hurt for some weird reason. And that's just 1 hit. If they started to repeatedly punch me, I'm not going to run away. I'm going to stay where I'm standing and if they don't stop I'm forced to take action. That simple.

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#67 Posted by Wolfgang133 (80 posts) -

I would slap her really good. Not as bad as being punched. If they want equal rights then they should take equal responsibilities for their actions. Or give up any notion of equality. But some women don't want equality, they want preferential treatment which of course is BS. They really don't deserve it.

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#68 Posted by Sevenizz (3151 posts) -

Me and my sister physically fought all the time. We were pretty equal till about 16 when I sprouted and it was no longer fair. Other than that scenario, I can’t relate to a woman hitting me so this is tough to answer. I want to say no, but I may reflex hit.

What are the laws if a woman hits you first?

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#69 Edited by warmblur (1726 posts) -

In High School I was close didn't do it but boy I wanted to smash the bitch with a chair.

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#70 Posted by So_Carrieous (44 posts) -

@warmblur:

Same thing.

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#71 Edited by Serraph105 (33431 posts) -

It depends on the situation. If she was continously attacking me and I felt in danger I would of course stand up for myself and try to put an end to it either by fighting back or by grabbing her arms and telling her stop.

If it was just one hit on the other hand (be it a guy or girl) I would refrain from hitting back and make sure that they appeared pathetic and small to any bystanders that happen to be around.

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#72 Edited by mirgamer (2489 posts) -

Depends how hard. If it didnt hurt, I'll just push her back while making loud statements "BACK AWAY, DO NOT HIT ME", this is important because of society's double standards, you must make it clear that you are the one being assaulted and not the perpetrator.

If it really hurt though,...I just dont know. Maybe just walk away or something. Getting tangled with a female these days is like walking on the minefield. You are stacked up against so many terrible possibilities LEGALLY so in many cases, you are quite literally screwed. In ways many of you seem to be totally oblivious about.

@watercrack445 said:

Call the police, and charge her. I'll give her an option either to give me money or jail. (The plan would be to hope the former but who knows what would happen). If she gives me money I'll drop the charge.

And that's how you do an unintentionally quick cash grab.

All it takes is for her to claim that YOU were the one that attacked her first. And the police will most likely believe her first UNLESS you have seriously fool proof evidence like a video.

Trust me on this. Like I said, the society has some serious double standards and discrimination issues against men but it is not spoken nor even acknowledged because somehow thats a bad thing.

Someone compared fighting with women is like hitting a kid, OTOH and thats stupid. A fully grown woman is NOT a kid, thats one and second, you are being condescending if you think thats how society should treat women. Like a petulant child. Sure women are GENERALLY weaker against men but not all women are the same size and not all men are big muscular buffs, some men are even smaller than an average women so where do you draw the line? Step away from being narrow minded and start thinking what if she used an object? Start throwing things like heavy books, glass bottles, claws you with her nails, use pens and stuffs? All the while insulting you and calling your mother a c**** or some other derogatory names just to piss you off? Trust me, you better pray you have the patience of the highest angels and mental fortitude of the Great Wall. Many have no idea how really nasty a woman can be. Some would actually try to provoke you to hit them just so they can rip apart your life later legally.

The best answer to this question is back away and start recording ASAP. If you feel that your life is in danger, just run or do anything to get away from the danger/conflict zone. But GET RECORDING or some strong witnesses. Take it from someone who served as a LEO before and married a woman who is a cop.

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#73 Posted by Treflis (13591 posts) -

Depends on the context, relationship between us and perceived intent with said punch.

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#74 Posted by Jacanuk (17871 posts) -

@horgen said:
@Jacanuk said:
@XVision84 said:

@Jacanuk: While I can understand that there are more peaceful ways to handle this situation, I've found that it's best not to stick to absolutes. There are middle grounds, even in normal situations, which may apply.

Considering the physical upper hand most men have or can have, I do not see any middle ground.

It´s like hitting a kid, it´s just not something you do.

I've witnessed and stepped into a situation like this. Size difference were pretty significant between these two. Luckily though pinning him to the ground took a second with some team effort.

Good thing you stepped in. I have zero respect for child abusers and the same goes for men who hit women.

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#75 Posted by ycdeo (2677 posts) -

i will, because i am a tae kwon do black belt.

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#76 Edited by Rellyto (10 posts) -

Of course I will do it. Don't be stupid

We have 21st century.

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#77 Posted by jun_aka_pekto (25203 posts) -
@so_carrieous said:

@jun_aka_pekto:

What’s with the wink? Don’t be a creep.

Meh. I already forgot about it until I got back here.

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#78 Edited by jun_aka_pekto (25203 posts) -

Most of the guys here seem to think women fight like guys do. You know, throw a few punches mano a mano. Nope.

Imagine trying to grab a bobcat or even an angry house cat with your bare hands and there's a pissed off woman. An angry woman is not someone I want to deal with which is why I'm nice to the ones I live and associate with.

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#79 Posted by XVision84 (15317 posts) -

@mirgamer: Thank you for your input, I generally align with this. I've never advocated for hitting a woman and I've never done it in my life, but I don't think absolutes are good in this scenario due to all of the things you outlined in your post.

There are a lot of factors that can go into a situation and to condemn someone regardless of context is an error I believe is too commonplace in modern society.

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#80 Posted by Rellyto (10 posts) -

At present many of them are becoming men like. It is necessary to give back a hit to them.

But he is right. It might be a big trouble, because of fuc**ng modern law

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#81 Posted by SanitySwitch (27 posts) -

As a woman myself I would never throw a punch at a guy and not expect to get one back.

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#82 Posted by MrGeezer (59763 posts) -

@XVision84 said:

Interesting moral debate. It seems to be commonly taught to never lay a hand on a woman which is good in regards to the high rate of marital abuse and patriarchal structure of the past.

However, women have equal rights in much of the modern world. All this in mind, what code do you live by? If a lady were to hit you with intent to hurt you, would you do the same?

If we're talking about actual self-defense, then sure.

If we're talking about pride bullshit like "you hit me then I have to hit you back", then hell no. Which is also the same policy I'd take if it were a man who were hitting me. Most people try to AVOID fights. I don't get into unnecessary fights with men either, and I sure as hell wouldn't get into unnecessary fights with women. If someone hits me and I have the option of backing away, then nearly every scenario ends with me backing away.

Things might be different if I were in prison, or something like that. In a situation like that, I might have to escalate the fight just to avoid getting f***ed with for backing down. Thankfully, I've so far kept myself out of situations like that. In part because I generally try to avoid escalating shit. I realize that people make mistakes and act irrationally when they get emotional, and that the same thing could easily happen to me if someone presses the right buttons. That's why I try to avoid that. When I can tell that someone's just pressing my buttons, I try to back the f*** away just so that I don't end up doing something stupid.

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#83 Posted by MrGeezer (59763 posts) -

@so_carrieous: There's also a good argument to be made that anyone should be able to defend themselves.

It's one thing if the woman "hitting you" amounts to a single slap in the face because she's mad, like you'd see in old movies or TV shows. In a situation like that, HELL NO you don't hit her back. Hitting her back wouldn't be "self defense", that would be more like "getting back at her" or "putting her in her place".

It's a bit different if we're talking about some crazy drunk/high chick who suddenly decides to just start wailing on a dude. I know some of the bad-asses here have talked about how big they are and how good they are at fighting and how they can easily restrain any woman without coming to blows. Good for them. But a lot of men are NOT big or strong, and a woman just suddenly wailing on them would be a big f***ing deal. A lot of men have never been in any serious fights, and certainly aren't trained on how to gently restrain someone who is literally trying to beat the shit out of them. Those guys are just supposed to sit there and get their asses pounded solely because the person beating the shit out of them happens to be a woman?

There's a difference between escalation and self-defense. There can be a big difference between some MERELY "hitting you" and someone actually trying to kick your ass. I'm a big fan of de-escalation even when it comes to men. Maybe even moreso when it comes to men. Because especially with men being generally physically stronger than women, unnecessary retaliation can mean the difference between "being hit" and "ending up in the damn hospital (or grave)". And yes, I realize that in certain circumstances not backing down is important in order to prevent future beatings. However, I'd also say that in the vast majority of circumstances, if you need to retaliate against someone just to keep other people from beating you up in the future then you've probably already made some very bad mistakes in life.

More people ought to de-escalate things in general, regardless of if they're dealing with men or women. But when it comes to someone just trying to beat the living shit out of you, then I think that self-defense takes priority. F*** notions of pride or gender equality, just protect your ass. Hopefully, de-escalation will keep most situations from ever getting to that point.

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#84 Posted by XVision84 (15317 posts) -

@MrGeezer: I agree, in some cases acting tough can get you killed. For example, a case came on the news where some guy was yelling at someone's girlfriend because she parked in a disabled parking spot. The boyfriend didn't de-escalate at all and instead shoved the guy to the floor. The guy took out a gun in "self defense" and killed the boyfriend.

You can't always know what can happen in a conflict or what the state of mind of the other person is.

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#85 Edited by jun_aka_pekto (25203 posts) -
Loading Video...

That bite mark (08:55) makes me cringe.

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#86 Posted by MrGeezer (59763 posts) -

@XVision84 said:

@MrGeezer: I agree, in some cases acting tough can get you killed. For example, a case came on the news where some guy was yelling at someone's girlfriend because she parked in a disabled parking spot. The boyfriend didn't de-escalate at all and instead shoved the guy to the floor. The guy took out a gun in "self defense" and killed the boyfriend.

You can't always know what can happen in a conflict or what the state of mind of the other person is.

I agree. There's the train of thought of, "if someone hits me, of course I'm hitting them back because I've got my pride". But one thing I've always wondered is how that person's wife/husband/kids feel about the issue.

I'm not married, but hypothetically suppose I was. Now suppose that I suddenly learn that my wife got arrested because someone "hit her" at work or the store or a bar and she got arrested after engaging back and turning it into an actual FIGHT. Now there are legal bills, she actually gets convicted and possibly serves time. Loses her job because of it. Now there's loss of income and loss of our family not having her around. That wouldn't mean that we stop loving her or anything like that, but wouldn't the FAMILY have been better off if she hadn't escalated things? Now flip that around and imagine that it's ME who gets hit. And then ends up going to jail over that shit. Yeah, fighting back helped my pride, but is my FAMILY better off with me being in jail for that kind of stuff? Possibly, but I'd like to think not. I'd like to think that the people who are important to me would be happier that I'm still around instead of in jail.

Same applies moreso if I actually get seriously injured fighting back. Like, if I get seriously disabled and require constant care, or if my medical bills from the beatdown are financially crippling to my kids' future. If that's the case, then yeah...the people who actually matter to me probably would have been better off if I'd taken the hit to my pride and backed the hell away. It's easy to be in "never back away" mode when people are still young kids with very few if any responsibilities beyond themselves. But hopefully, once people get to the point where people are relying on THEM, most people can put aside their f***ing egos and take a hit to their pride in order to do what's best for the people who need them. F*** the fact that some dude at the bar made you look like a punk-ass-*****. In all likelihood, that dude doesn't matter one bit to you, nor do the people who saw him shame you. In most cases it is better to walk the hell away and be there for the people who DO matter.

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#87 Edited by Blackhairedhero (2907 posts) -

Depends.. if shes 120 lbs I would just bear hug her till she calmed down.

If shes a 200lb bruiser then yes I'm knocking her out.

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#88 Posted by killerfist (20120 posts) -

It depends. If it's to defend myself, then sure.

I would try to avoid it if possible though.

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#89 Posted by Horgen (119670 posts) -

@blackhairedhero said:

Depends.. if shes 120 lbs I would just bear hug her till she calmed down.

If shes a 200lb bruiser then yes I'm knocking her out.

Basically you judge how big of a threat she is to you for what action you will do, right?

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#90 Posted by Baconstrip78 (1301 posts) -

Depends on how big and strong she is.

If it’s a 5’5 125lb woman, nah. She’s not doing any damage.

If it’s some behemoth swinging her fat arm at me and will continue doing so if I don’t swing back, yeah.

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#91 Posted by jun_aka_pekto (25203 posts) -

What about those women who were previously dudes?

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#92 Edited by blaznwiipspman1 (7144 posts) -

Women can go to war nowadays and kill you. If you were a male soldier would you not shoot an enemy soldier because she's a woman? Of course not, in a combat scenario all morals and teachings go out the window. There were stories about pregnant female terrorists with suicice vests in the war in middle East. Only way to stop them was to kill them.

If it's not a war, there still comes a point where you have to defend yourself or put down the threat

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#93 Posted by So_Carrieous (44 posts) -

I knew a guy that would beat his wife and would not allow her to divorce him.

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#94 Edited by jun_aka_pekto (25203 posts) -

Let's face it. Not all women are delicate spring flowers. Of course, some might even think not all female humans are considered "women."

I didn't see anyone here answer my query about women who used to be guys and vice versa.

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#95 Posted by So_Carrieous (44 posts) -

@jun_aka_pekto:

Yes the transgender brings a lot of questions it is so popular amongst the youth.

It is a touch subject.

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#96 Posted by Gaming-Planet (19837 posts) -

Depends on the situation.

If she is holding me by the collar and is punching me, she gonna get whacked real hard.

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#97 Posted by So_Carrieous (44 posts) -

@Gaming-Planet:

Are you 14 years old? Sheesh people are so negative and hostile these days. Don’t hit girls. I mentioned earlier that I knew a husband that would beat his wife and she said she never will forgive him(for a reason I will not share).

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#98 Posted by npiet1 (1802 posts) -

If its an average woman they move to slow and aren't very strong. I'm not going to punch. I'll just push them away.

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#99 Posted by Gaming-Planet (19837 posts) -
@so_carrieous said:

@Gaming-Planet:

Are you 14 years old? Sheesh people are so negative and hostile these days. Don’t hit girls. I mentioned earlier that I knew a husband that would beat his wife and she said she never will forgive him(for a reason I will not share).

It's out of self defense.

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#100 Posted by So_Carrieous (44 posts) -

@Gaming-Planet:

Oh my no offense but in the south you’d be called a btchboi. Stop doing that. At least u aren’t beating your wife.