If a lady hit you, would you hit her back?

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#1 Posted by XVision84 (14772 posts) -

Interesting moral debate. It seems to be commonly taught to never lay a hand on a woman which is good in regards to the high rate of marital abuse and patriarchal structure of the past.

However, women have equal rights in much of the modern world. All this in mind, what code do you live by? If a lady were to hit you with intent to hurt you, would you do the same?

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#2 Edited by Zuon (219 posts) -

Depends. Did she punch me in the face, or go straight for the groin like a cheap shot?

Either way, I'd still likely get my butt kicked.

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#3 Edited by jun_aka_pekto (24998 posts) -

If her hit hurts me? Sure. If I get hurt, forget morals. It's biology that takes over.

Equality or politics has nothing to do with it. My self-preservation transcends both.

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#4 Edited by Mandzilla (2737 posts) -

If I hit a dude I'd expect him to hit me back. I'm not a violent person at all though so that wouldn't happen.

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#5 Posted by XVision84 (14772 posts) -

@Zuon: Either/or is fine :P. I like the attitude though lol.

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#6 Posted by DEVILinIRON (4571 posts) -

A lady did hit me and I didn't hit her back.

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#7 Posted by Horgen (119146 posts) -

Not if I can avoid it.

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#8 Posted by hrt_rulz01 (18137 posts) -

Depends... if I felt like I was in a dangerous situation and needed to protect myself, then maybe.

But I'm the opposite of a violent person. I wouldn't like to hit a man let alone a woman.

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#9 Edited by watercrack445 (1047 posts) -

Call the police, and charge her. I'll give her an option either to give me money or jail. (The plan would be to hope the former but who knows what would happen). If she gives me money I'll drop the charge.

And that's how you do an unintentionally quick cash grab.

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#10 Posted by XVision84 (14772 posts) -

@hrt_rulz01: That's fair, so it has more to do with personality than a code you live by?

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#11 Posted by XVision84 (14772 posts) -

@watercrack445: Hadn't thought of that, interesting solution lol

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#12 Edited by dreman999 (11381 posts) -

Depends on the nature of and secumstances of the hit.

Most direct hits from woman I would get I can block them or pin them. Even move away.

If they are capable and wanting to do damaging blows I will pin or hit.

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#13 Posted by Jacanuk (17483 posts) -

@XVision84 said:

Interesting moral debate. It seems to be commonly taught to never lay a hand on a woman which is good in regards to the high rate of marital abuse and patriarchal structure of the past.

However, women have equal rights in much of the modern world. All this in mind, what code do you live by? If a lady were to hit you with intent to hurt you, would you do the same?

How is that an interesting debate? The answer is straightforward and does not require any debate.

Only an insect hits a woman, so if she hits you then you either tell her to stop or walk away.

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#14 Posted by foxhound_fox (97591 posts) -

Depends on the context. If striking back could mean an assault charge, regardless of sex, then no, I'll keep my hands to myself. If it's a matter of self-defense? Well, they want equality...

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#15 Posted by XVision84 (14772 posts) -

@Jacanuk: Few things are that straightforward and even the most basic of rights have been debated for.

I know taking the high road and walking away is one option that tends to be respected. It certainly shows a sense of moral character. However, do you hold this belief specifically for women or for men too? Furthermore, what if she is overtly aggressive and walking away isn't an option?

Chances are that asking someone who's already hitting you to stop isn't going to work unless they're children unaware of the seriousness of their actions.

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#16 Posted by XVision84 (14772 posts) -

@foxhound_fox: I'm glad we've got a law system this comprehensive. I really feel for the people who had nobody to turn to when faced with violence, especially from those they are close to.

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#17 Edited by jun_aka_pekto (24998 posts) -
@XVision84 said:

@Jacanuk: Few things are that straightforward and even the most basic of rights have been debated for.

I know taking the high road and walking away is one option that tends to be respected. It certainly shows a sense of moral character. However, do you hold this belief specifically for women or for men too? Furthermore, what if she is overtly aggressive and walking away isn't an option?

Chances are that asking someone who's already hitting you to stop isn't going to work unless they're children unaware of the seriousness of their actions.

No kidding. Women can be bullies too. They can also hit and hit hard. That or try to claw my eyeballs out. They bite too. Anything less than inflicting pain in return only emboldens them.

How I know? I've seen women GIs (and spouses) go berserk when they learned their hubbies were two-timing while they were deployed abroad. Some even took a gun and killed their hubbies.

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#18 Posted by XVision84 (14772 posts) -

@dreman999: I agree that it's better to diffuse the violence first. I've seen cases of people trying to "get even" but ultimately only end up with regrets.

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#19 Edited by XVision84 (14772 posts) -

@jun_aka_pekto: While I don't think your last sentence in your first paragraph is always the case, I agree that women shouldn't be underestimated. The image of femininity used to be associated with fragility but humans are not so simple. Women can be just as nasty and dangerous as men.

I think it's better that way because it's more liberating and honest towards women. I'm not a woman to speak for them, of course, but I'm glad the feminist movement absolved previous stereotypes of women.

Edit: wow, that's dark. I'm not one to advocate for cheaters, but death is a little much!

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#20 Edited by Random_Matt (3564 posts) -

Self defence, sure.

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#21 Posted by DaVillain- (33768 posts) -

Blocking an attack from a lady isn't that hard. I can just grab her and submission her until she passes out without hitting her back. Their are other ways to subduing people without the resorts of hitting back you know. Tasering a lady isn't resorting hitting her back and you only did it in self-defense.

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#23 Edited by jun_aka_pekto (24998 posts) -
@davillain- said:

Blocking an attack from a lady isn't that hard. I can just grab her and submission her until she passes out without hitting her back. Their are other ways to subduing people without the resorts of hitting back you know. Tasering a lady isn't resorting hitting her back and you only did it in self-defense.

Good luck. Some of those banshees are bound to bite anything that's part of you that they can reach.

I'm sure I can eventually subdue a gal. But, I'd have to be treated for cuts and bite marks, maybe even tested for rabies. ;)

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#24 Posted by XVision84 (14772 posts) -

@davillain-: Would you then propose that this question depends on the strength of said lady relative to you? Would you think ill of someone who did hit back or see it as a means of fair retaliation?

From your comments it seems that you do not view retaliation as self defense if a less aggressive option was available. What if the person, in the moment, didn't realize that such options were available? Would you view them negatively? Stressful situations don't always result in rational decisions.

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#25 Posted by Speeny (924 posts) -

Only if I needed to protect myself. Like, if it was getting way out of hand...throwing multiple punches at me then yeah, I'd need to do something.

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#26 Edited by uninspiredcup (30043 posts) -

It would be sexist not to.

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#27 Posted by plageus900 (2584 posts) -

Absolutely. Women and Men are equal. If a man hits me, I'm going to defend myself. That goes for a woman too.

I had two ex wives that thought they could get away with hitting me because 'men don't hit women'.

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#28 Posted by sealionact (3381 posts) -

No. Hate the idea of hitting women, whatever the circumstances. I'd rather run from the beating, than beat her back.

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#29 Posted by Vectorpete (4 posts) -

It all depends on the lady and the situation. If I'm attacked out of nowhere by a crazed lady then I will defend myself.

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#30 Edited by DudeBroPartyYo (1204 posts) -

I remember watching this dude getting assaulted and face scratched and punched from this drunk chick but poor guy couldnt touch her because "violence against women". Do women realize with this equality movement that being equal will get rid of VAW. If you are equal you get treated equal to men, so if you if you punch a man he can punch you back because equality. See its not good to be equal in everything haha. Im not saying anyone should hit a woman, unless she really gets out of hand than man has to do what man has to do

Besides equality movement is a joke, people only want equality in things that benefit them. Its like feminist culture it will all die out like most trendy movements have trough the years

@sealionact Fair enough but a MAN should never back down. Thats why we are Men, we dont run and we only take so much. Think about it, many women know this and abuse it to their advantage even very violent. hey no one said beat them lol, one avarage warning hit isnt beating i think. Maybe modern and younger Men have gotten soft, well the world has gotten too soft and sanitized, glad i grew up in the 90s haha. Less people got offended by dumb meaningless crap, no feminists, no tight jeans whining hipsters lol.

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#31 Posted by DaVillain- (33768 posts) -

@XVision84 said:

@davillain-: Would you then propose that this question depends on the strength of said lady relative to you? Would you think ill of someone who did hit back or see it as a means of fair retaliation?

From your comments it seems that you do not view retaliation as self defense if a less aggressive option was available. What if the person, in the moment, didn't realize that such options were available? Would you view them negatively? Stressful situations don't always result in rational decisions.

I'm a gentleman, I don't like getting into fist fights unless I don't have no other choice in the matter. I guess it depends on the area you are in, finding ways to preventing hitting a woman in the face, I would look for objects in the area for throwing like rocks or something but I do know it's not really hitting a woman from your fist, the objects did the work for you.

I'm not easily trigger, if a woman's gonna hit me, then so beat it, I'll just walk away and I'm not gonna lay a finger on a woman, that's a disgrace to a Gentleman like myself.

@jun_aka_pekto said:

Good luck. Some of those banshees are bound to bite anything that's part of you that they can reach.

I'm sure I can eventually subdue a gal. But, I'd have to be treated for cuts and bite marks, maybe even tested for rabies. ;)

If worst comes to worst, I'll suffer the bite marks. I just don't like fighting back on a woman if I can't help it.

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#33 Posted by dark_drag765 (954 posts) -

I would strike with vigor. Discrimination is not cool. I am also very protective of my personal space.

If someone dares to bump into me I will cave their fucking face in (self defense). I am a giant so people luckily avoid my wrath. I am like 5’11-6’0ft

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#34 Posted by phbz (3954 posts) -

Depends, if it was one MMA fighter I'd run the hell out of wherever I am.

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#35 Posted by XVision84 (14772 posts) -

@davillain-: Gotcha, seems like an admirable code :). I'd argue the objects and your first aren't much different though :P.

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#36 Posted by XVision84 (14772 posts) -

@dudebropartyyo: Unfortunately I've also seen similar cases of women severely abusing this "no violence against women" code, which inspired me to create this thread.

I wouldn't call the equality movement a joke though. A lot of good has come out of it and I personally see it as the "right" way to go moving forward. The meaning of equality has definitely been contorted to fit some agendas, but I think almost anything has that potential.

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#37 Posted by XVision84 (14772 posts) -

@dark_drag765: What if someone bumps into you on the street? :P

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#38 Posted by XVision84 (14772 posts) -

@sealionact: I'm curious, is this based off life experience, what you were raised/taught by parents, or personality? (or all 3?)

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#39 Posted by JustPlainLucas (78992 posts) -

Depends. If she hurt me and is getting ready to strike me again, I'd probably tackle her. I don't think I'd actually hit her, though.

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#40 Posted by sealionact (3381 posts) -

@XVision84: I've seen guys hitting girls, and it just turns my stomach....but yes, all 3 three apply I guess. Not saying I wouldn't pin a girl down, or restrain her, nor am I saying I accept girls hitting....just that the physical difference between the sexes (in most cases) means there's other solutions apart from hitting back.

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#41 Edited by mrbojangles25 (42789 posts) -

No, because I probably would not feel genuinely threatened. I've been hit by men before and did not hit back, I probably wouldn't hit a woman.

I am the size of a small bear, if I try to defend myself or retaliate, the person is probably getting seriously hurt. That's just not worth it for me. For what? Pride? Sense of entitlement to self-defense? Nah. Plus I am old-fashioned, I guess, raised by pre-baby boomer parents.

Also, during my youth, I've found that no matter the circumstances, it's always the big guy's fault. So if I am standing in court with a broken nose from a woman, and this little 110 pound woman has a black eye from me, I think they'd side with her. I don't really get in fights but in the past , if their hit didn't hurt, I just asked them to apologize. They always do :D

Of course if she was part of a gang of people attacking me, had a weapon, or I felt my life was legitimately in danger, yeah I'd hit a woman. Otherwise no.

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#42 Posted by Jacanuk (17483 posts) -

@XVision84 said:

@Jacanuk: Few things are that straightforward and even the most basic of rights have been debated for.

I know taking the high road and walking away is one option that tends to be respected. It certainly shows a sense of moral character. However, do you hold this belief specifically for women or for men too? Furthermore, what if she is overtly aggressive and walking away isn't an option?

Chances are that asking someone who's already hitting you to stop isn't going to work unless they're children unaware of the seriousness of their actions.

There is no normal situation in the world where hitting a woman can be justified or should be considered even if we are talking about a Rhonda Rowsey type who could kick most average guys.

You just don´t hit them..... end of story. Life and Death situations are different, but again if you can hit them, you can disarm them or you can do something that allows for you to escape.

As to fighting against other men, I always try to walk away but if a guy makes that impossible I am not one to shy away from kicking his butt.

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#43 Posted by XVision84 (14772 posts) -

@sealionact: I respect that viewpoint! It's wise not to readily escalate conflicts and find peaceful solutions :).

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#44 Posted by XVision84 (14772 posts) -

@mrbojangles25: Lol people do tend to blame the big guy, unfortunately. Also unfortunate is how far some people are willing to go to defend their pride. Thanks for the input ;).

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#45 Posted by XVision84 (14772 posts) -

@Jacanuk: While I can understand that there are more peaceful ways to handle this situation, I've found that it's best not to stick to absolutes. There are middle grounds, even in normal situations, which may apply.

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#46 Posted by Jacanuk (17483 posts) -

@XVision84 said:

@Jacanuk: While I can understand that there are more peaceful ways to handle this situation, I've found that it's best not to stick to absolutes. There are middle grounds, even in normal situations, which may apply.

Considering the physical upper hand most men have or can have, I do not see any middle ground.

It´s like hitting a kid, it´s just not something you do.

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#47 Posted by PeterQuill (5 posts) -

Equal sociality mean equal gender. If she hurt your pride and you not do anything wrong. HIT THAT WOMAN BACK. It's self defense

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#48 Posted by XVision84 (14772 posts) -

@Jacanuk: There may be a history of emotional abuse involved that factor into the situation or manipulation. I would imagine that you wouldn't describe your relationship with other individuals close to you in such a simple manner. Context can change everything.

One example of this is James Gunn. It's commonly thought that you don't talk about child pedophilia and there are countless reasons to support that. However, a guy who was excellent at his job and garnered support of the entire cast was booted because of jokes he made many years ago. People refused to see any reason because of absolutes and their inability to see any middle ground.

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#49 Posted by mrbojangles25 (42789 posts) -

@Jacanuk said:
@XVision84 said:

@Jacanuk: While I can understand that there are more peaceful ways to handle this situation, I've found that it's best not to stick to absolutes. There are middle grounds, even in normal situations, which may apply.

Considering the physical upper hand most men have or can have, I do not see any middle ground.

It´s like hitting a kid, it´s just not something you do.

Yeah I agree with this. My situation would have to be pretty dire for me to hit a woman. Ever.

I will treat a woman with all due respect and a sense of equality until it comes to physical things; at that point, I think it is time to respect (not belittle, mind you) our differences.

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#50 Posted by Horgen (119146 posts) -

@Jacanuk said:
@XVision84 said:

@Jacanuk: While I can understand that there are more peaceful ways to handle this situation, I've found that it's best not to stick to absolutes. There are middle grounds, even in normal situations, which may apply.

Considering the physical upper hand most men have or can have, I do not see any middle ground.

It´s like hitting a kid, it´s just not something you do.

I've witnessed and stepped into a situation like this. Size difference were pretty significant between these two. Luckily though pinning him to the ground took a second with some team effort.