I got a my gf pregnant

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PanPizza15

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#1 PanPizza15
Member since 2006 • 1483 Posts

I just don't know what I'm gonna do or how I can abandon ship

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DaVillain

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#2 DaVillain  Moderator
Member since 2014 • 51523 Posts

That's what you get for not using condoms lol. Well you could do is:

  1. Man up and take responsibilities or face child support.
  2. Move to Mexico or Cuba, be off the grid
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GirlUSoCrazy

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#3 GirlUSoCrazy
Member since 2015 • 19896 Posts

Is this cold feet, or a bad relationship?

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Telekill

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#5 Telekill
Member since 2003 • 12061 Posts

I recommend going with the man up and take responsibility option listed above. If you didn't like the girl enough to have a kid with her, you shouldn't have slept with her. Secondly, if you don't want to be with her anymore, you can still be responsible and be a part of that kid's life... more than just court forced financially.

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GirlUSoCrazy

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#6 GirlUSoCrazy
Member since 2015 • 19896 Posts

@Telekill: Good post

Having a kid is a wonderful thing, it will make you a better person

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deactivated-628e6669daebe

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#7 deactivated-628e6669daebe
Member since 2020 • 3637 Posts

What about abortion?

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GirlUSoCrazy

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#8  Edited By GirlUSoCrazy
Member since 2015 • 19896 Posts

@ghost_of_phobos: What about regret? There should be a lot of consideration before resorting to that, it's something both partners have to live with. But it is fair to mention it as an option, I wonder what TC thinks, it seems like they wrote this and ghosted.

Adoption is also an option, or having family help out with care giving.

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deactivated-628e6669daebe

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#9 deactivated-628e6669daebe
Member since 2020 • 3637 Posts

@girlusocrazy: Really depends how early it is, if it's really early and none of the people involved wants to have a child then there's nothing to regret. It's a simple and harmless procedure.

It also depends on personal beliefs of course.

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DaVillain

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#10  Edited By DaVillain  Moderator
Member since 2014 • 51523 Posts

@ghost_of_phobos said:

@girlusocrazy: Really depends how early it is, if it's really early and none of the people involved wants to have a child then there's nothing to regret. It's a simple and harmless procedure.

It also depends on personal beliefs of course.

Also adding this. It depends where you live if Abortion is legal in certain states but yes, if woman founds out she's pregnant very early on and the baby hasn't started develop, Abortion is harmless to go on from that point. But keep in mind religion can also hander the choice of going through Abortion. If both parties are not into beliefs than Abortion is always an option to go at it. Remember, getting Abortion means you did nothing wrong.

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GirlUSoCrazy

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#11  Edited By GirlUSoCrazy
Member since 2015 • 19896 Posts

@ghost_of_phobos: Yeah, it's a personal thing, but it's worth considering if you would feel like it was a missed opportunity in the future and wonder what if you did have the kid...

I'm the type of person that would always wonder "what if", especially now after having a kid. There was a time I put off having a kid for more selfish reasons and the thought of a little hardship, but now I wish I had done it earlier even with those factors.

Of course it would help to know more about the context of TC's decision!

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SOedipus

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#12  Edited By SOedipus
Member since 2006 • 14018 Posts
@davillain- said:

That's what you get for not using condoms lol. Well you could do is:

  1. Man up and take responsibilities or face child support.
  2. Move to Mexico or Cuba, be off the grid

Do it, or you'll regret it later in life. Unless you're a psychopath or something.

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kriggy

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#13  Edited By kriggy
Member since 2008 • 1302 Posts

That's what happens dude, unfortunately you made a big oopsie! All you can do now is to take responsibility.

However, for future reference, please repeat after me: "Condoms are cheaper than child support", "Condoms are cheaper than child support", "Condoms are cheaper than child support", "Condoms are cheaper than child support".

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deactivated-628e6669daebe

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#14 deactivated-628e6669daebe
Member since 2020 • 3637 Posts

@girlusocrazy: It's really one of those things that each person has to make their own judgement.

I had an abortion (well the girl did) 20 years ago and I have absolutely no regrets. I didn't want a child, she didn't want a child and there was absolutely no interest in having a serious relationship so it made absolutely no sense having a baby just because.

That's my personal experience.

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Serraph105

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#15 Serraph105
Member since 2007 • 35733 Posts

@PanPizza15: being a good father can be very personally fulfilling. I'm not one, so grains of salt, but I do have friends who are and would attest to really enjoying it despite the stress.

You're other options are abortion or adoption, but of course, both of those require the girl's agreement.

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GirlUSoCrazy

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#16  Edited By GirlUSoCrazy
Member since 2015 • 19896 Posts

@ghost_of_phobos: Understood, and perfectly valid

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mrbojangles25

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#17 mrbojangles25
Member since 2005 • 54222 Posts

@mary_issac said:

Congrats man! Why sad?

  • At the wrong time, a baby can ruin one's life trajectory.
  • Some folks aren't cut out to be parents, or just don't want to have kids.
  • It doesn't fit their life plan.
  • Some folks want kids, just not with their current partner.
  • Some people just plain don't like children *shrug*

I mean, there's tons of reasons to be sad....I think kids are awesome, I love my niece and nephew more than anything in the world, but never in 1000 years would I want any of my own.

I would do everything in my power to convince my partner to get an abortion or talk her into putting the kids up for adoption.

With that said, I am her partner and would stand by her decision and support the kids in the end. Humans make the best of things, that's sort of what we do. I think that's a Loki quote, right?

@PanPizza15 said:

I just don't know what I'm gonna do or how I can abandon ship

1. Don't abandon ship. Like it or not, mistake or not, this is your responsibility and you need to take ownership of it. You don't have to raise the child but you're going to have to help support it.

2. Talk to the mother. If it's early and, depending on the country and state, you have options. Abortion is legal in many places and, barring that, you can always discuss the other a-word: adoption. There are moral ways to have the baby but not keep it.

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Watch_My_6

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#18 Watch_My_6
Member since 2007 • 297 Posts

Shoulda pulled out bro.

Now, you’re in $400 a month if you leave. Could have bought a used luxury car instead!

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Kadin_Kai

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#19 Kadin_Kai
Member since 2015 • 2230 Posts

It’s probably just shock, if your GF wants to keep the baby then you really should do the right thing.

Don’t worry, kids are seriously fun and satisfying watching them grow.

I have a 13 year old daughter, I wouldn’t say she’s the light of my life, but my life is definitely far richer with her and I’m glad we didn’t consider aborting her.

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palasta

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#20 palasta
Member since 2017 • 844 Posts

Should ve used the backdoor.

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JustPlainLucas

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#21 JustPlainLucas
Member since 2002 • 80435 Posts

@palasta said:

Should ve used the backdoor.

Dyslexia is fun. I read that as "should've used AdBlocker."

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Gaming-Planet

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#22 Gaming-Planet
Member since 2008 • 20989 Posts

You should try consulting planned parenthood. Everything there is confidential and your parents won't know.

If you're an adult, well... you're gonna have to make adult decisions.

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shellcase86

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#23 shellcase86
Member since 2012 • 6264 Posts

Congrats. It's not easy, but stepping up and being a dad is well-worth it.

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Speeny

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#24 Speeny
Member since 2018 • 3275 Posts

Congrats & best of luck.

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lamprey263

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#25  Edited By lamprey263
Member since 2006 • 42146 Posts

Best case, she makes way more than you will in several lifetimes, she wants to use this to seal the deal and make an honest man out if you, and you can be a stay at home dad.

If it doesn't work out, maybe next time start your next relationship out like:

Loading Video...

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Zaryia

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#26 Zaryia
Member since 2016 • 19720 Posts

Just get an abortion.

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jeffbuckley1

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#27 jeffbuckley1
Member since 2004 • 176 Posts

@kriggy:

Dont always work

My first one happened with a condom

Only about 80% effective in practice

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dave123321

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#28 dave123321
Member since 2003 • 35543 Posts

Congrats!

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AfterShafter

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#30 AfterShafter
Member since 2002 • 7175 Posts

If you've been posting here for 15 years, you're likely an adult. This may sound like a dismissal, but it might be time to take that mantle seriously. If you're going to be a father, be a father and don't "abandon ship."

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Atomic1977

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#31 Atomic1977
Member since 2004 • 324 Posts

How old is the girlfriend and how old are you? that can make a difference in the decision process.

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Peasly

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#32 Peasly
Member since 2004 • 548 Posts

I got pregnant after condom split. I have no maternal instincts whatsoever and didn't want kids at the time (22 yrs old ish). We decided it would be best to have an abortion. Best decision we ever made, I still don't want children. As I can't go on the pill because of my meds I have a monthly jab called DEPO (a contraceptive injection).

Anyhow you need to figure out what you both want and act on it. This decision effects the rest of your lives. Get on with it.

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#33 sealionact
Member since 2014 • 8713 Posts

Seriously, gamespot is not the place to ask for advice about whether or not you’re ready to be a father.

Unless you have absolutely no contact with close friends and family.

Firstly, talk to the girl…and whatever path she chooses - respect it, and use birth control next time.

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Gamerbee_47

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#34 Gamerbee_47
Member since 2021 • 17 Posts

This is great for you! Start a new family, its what men were designed to do. Or you could get an abortion. Nowadays the doctor will just give you a pill to take, no surgery! Up to you!?!

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DeadMan1290

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#35 DeadMan1290
Member since 2005 • 15733 Posts

Have fun dealing with that. As a father myself, don't stay if you don't want the kid or the mother. Poor kid doesn't need a useless father to wonder about when he isn't there anymore.