How do you deal with the feeling of not being good enough?

There is this smoking hot colleague of mine whom I tried to put some moves on. I soon found out she's not interested. I also learned however that shes not interested because shes into better looking men.

A handsome guy easily hanged out with her and got to know her well in days while he wasn't even trying, while it took me a whole lot long to even be considered a "colleague" :(

There is plenty of fish in the sea sure, but this is a blow to my ego. I feel inferior >:(

Oh I thought this was going to be like gaming related. Like the fact that I don't know how to look at my rank in Gears of War 4 and even I did, I would be the lowest rank.

For the record, I deal with it by only playing the game occasionally.

@Sam3231: OT mate, this is OT. Girl help threads and feelings of worthlessness belong here.

I wouldn't even think twice about this. I'm no saying your ugly, but just stating a fact here. I see ugly men with hot women all the time, all the time, every dam day, everywhere. Trust me, you have nothing to worry about. If a hot girl is what you want, you will have it. Just not at the moment. All in good time my friend, all in good time. Remember, the best things come to those who wait. Somehow your scenario reminds me of a movie, where a guy pays this hot girl to hang out with him, and then the girl he thought was hot jumps all over him because she is curious to see what is so desirable about him, and looks at him differently now. Maybe ? Hmmm ... I'll leave it at that.

For every hot guy out there, I'm hundred times more interesting than his hotness. Well, I'm plenty hot myself so it doesn't really affect me much but if I were really in your situation, I'd recall my positive points, call it quits, go fap to some photoshopped booties on the interwebz, read a good book, and then sleep tight. Everything solved.

Well, understanding that not everyone has to like you would be a great start. I never really had your problem. There are tons of people out there I don't like at all and I'm fine with tons of people that don't like me for whatever reason. It's just life, get used to it, it won't change.

She may be a good girl but she's not the right girl.

If she's like that, I wouldn't even consider her. Just be yourself around women, stop sweating the small stuff like that. You'll attract the right one in due time, plus office relationships end bad.

Here is how sexual currency works.

Men start out poor and and get desirable later in life as they accumulate wealth and stability.

Women start out rich and lose their currency in a few decades and for the most part never recover it.

You start by not caring if you are or not. You make your attempt then you move on to the next. Confidence is everything, I can never stress that enough. Take it from someone who's walked the earth for 40 yrs or someone much older, elderly people have the best advice, I always ask them. Ya know it was a 77 yr old man that told me once in my youth that when you go down on a chick, do cursive writing with your tongue, work that clit between your lips....he's right, works every time! Old people advice is the best.

Is this the same chick you complained about several months or years ago? If so, let it go.

you can work on other aspects of you appearance, face isn't everything. work on your body, buy better clothes. I'm not saying you should waste shitload of money on clothing, in fact, if you ever considered this, I strongly suggest you to develop your taste regarding fashion and things related to your appearance before buying anything. most of ugly men that are also bad at getting chicks have a horrible taste in everything. they think because they are good guys and for an instance have a good knowledge on philosophy every hot chick should fall for them or she's shallow. you can become a better version of yourself which IMO is the key to success.

her loss, bud.

feel bad for a bit (it's healthy), but don't feel too bad for too long, and move on.

And don't date coworkers! unless you guys are like in completely different departments and never see eachother. OMFG it sucks you see eachother at work then at home it's the worst thing in the world.

@SOedipus: I frequently come to OT for girl help. Im amazed you still remember. Great memory you have there sir.

@VaguelyTagged: Ive been youtubing a lot of videos on how to dress and groom properly, I just hate the fact that im doubting myself because of a chick.

@mrbojangles25: shes a colleague but I barely see her. Shes like totally in a different place, but we meet up together some times. Took me a long time to finally try and muster a relationship with her, and its not going anywhere past just "colleague" from what i've seen.

don't be someone you are not, don't forget who you are.

I've seen good, wholesome guys turn into douchey hipsters with samurai knots and handlebar mustache because "that's how to groom properly" (don't forget the ironic cat t-shirt and overpriced jeans).

just be yourself, take care of yourself, be clean. Don't try to be something you're not.

@pimphand_gamer: youre right, kudos to that 77 year old im sure he had/is having wonderful days learning new tricks with dem ladies. His experience must be a gold mine.

I dont particularly have issues with confidence, but this is a low blow :(

When I was 13 I use to get teased on my mates friend who was 2 years older then me about well you no. Any way knowing what I no now I regret I ran off from her.. :P

Well all you can really do is accept it and move on. Perhaps try to see it from her point of view. How would it be fair to her to have to go out with someone that she wasn't interested in? I don't think anyone should be obligated to feign interest in someone just to make them feel better about themselves. Have you ever brushed anyone off yourself because you didn't reciprocate the same feelings as they had towards you?

If you're feeling bad about yourself and "hotness" take a trip to a local Walmart and look around, you'll feel like a million dollars in no time flat.

I don't.

I have fully accepted my misery.

I will never be good at drawing but I will try someday. It sucks not having passion. We need it.

Eh, he's probably long dead by now. Time will heal it bro, time will heal.

I mean... clearly the obvious answer is to kidnap her and keep her tied up in your basement for a few years until she learns to love you.

OR, you can show no mind and move the F&^$ on. So someone does not find you physically attractive... welcome to the human race.

lift and get aesthetic bro

a e s t h e t i c

I never meant to advice him to be someone else. I just advised him to develop his character/taste in a way necessary to get a hot chick. his! I never said he should copy others. just to work on his own current taste and make it better. how would it make him someone else? or a hipster?

@and1salttape said:

@Storm_Marine said:

lift and get aesthetic bro

a e s t h e t i c

P a t h e t i c and a e s t h e t i c.

This happens to me alot, i just say **** it and leave it or I say **** it and still go for it.

@VaguelyTagged: It doesn't matter as long as there is a t i c c. Girls love that shit.

I know right? the whole vaporwave and it's subgenre(s) have a huge fanbase even here in Iran. i like it, especially parts of the music as i love getting lost in nostalgia adn the VHS, glitch part of the visual a e s t h e t i c. i didn't mean he should adapt this trend though,

Now though I just want to meat some one who actually didn't want to vomit all over me in complete loathing and disgust.

Depends on where the Wal Mart is. The nearest one where I am is a Super Wal Mart at the suburbs with a customer base consisting of hot soccer moms and senior citizens/retirees. I certainly enjoy the scenery.

^ Yea this...move on you will find another hottie before you know it. :P

@LexLas: let me say this, you are absolutely wrong that more hot guys get with the hot chicks. Having a good, outgoing personality, being funny, smart, confident will get you more pussy than even a face like beckham ever could. I have a ton of ugly friends with hot gf's and wives which to be frank pisses me off

Thats the opposite of what i said ? Read below, this is a copy and paste:

I wouldn't even think twice about this. I'm no saying your ugly, but just stating a fact here. I see ugly men with hot women all the time, all the time, every dam day, everywhere. Trust me, you have nothing to worry about. If a hot girl is what you want, you will have it. Just not at the moment. All in good time my friend, all in good time. Remember, the best things come to those who wait. Somehow your scenario reminds me of a movie, where a guy pays this hot girl to hang out with him, and then the girl he thought was hot jumps all over him because she is curious to see what is so desirable about him, and looks at him differently now. Maybe ? Hmmm ... I'll leave it at that

Man...I know there are going to be exceptions to what I'm about to say, and that's all well and good. But listen here...

...if it took you long enough to become a 'colleague' before you decided to make a move on her, you're doing it the hard way. The best time to make a move is when you first meet a girl. She doesn't know you, you don't know her, but she's caught your eye and you're jumping on the opportunity. It is in the first few minutes after meeting that sexual tension is the highest, so take advantage of it.

By doing this you're not giving her time to make judgements about you and if she is looking it's quite likely she'll be open to some flirtation. You're also showing you're aggressive with your goals and not someone who lollygags and doubts when it comes to decision making.

That doesn't mean it's going to work out, but more often than not once you learn to pull off the immediate hook and reel your success rate will go up.

I'm not all into that alpha male shit, but it IS true that you're either the guy in front, or the guy standing in line.

@TehFuneral: for me it doesnt go away tbh i feel that way everyday. but someways are helping people or animals. feeding homeless cats makes me feel better xD

sorry, I quoted the wrong guy, meant to quote the OP. Also, i'd like to add that looks aren't everything you should look for in a wife. Its alright if you're just messing around as a kid with hot girls, but the one you want to marry should have qualities that you actually like, and can live with for a long time. Looks are superficial in the long term...its why you see all these hollywood breakups every other week. As guys we could care less as long as a girl has a nice rack and azz but it would help to look deeper than that. Let the hicks and bozos have the "super hot chicks" with half a brain....their kids will end up retarded just like them.

By not giving a ****. It's not easy, but you too can not give a ****.