Gaming and loneliness.

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GhostRecon2020

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#1 GhostRecon2020
Member since 2020 • 13 Posts

I have been gaming for 30 years (35 now). Although, I have been lonely for most of my life, I dont think that gaming caused it.

However, there are people who think that playing games could cause loneliness.

What do you think?

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rmpumper

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#2  Edited By rmpumper
Member since 2016 • 801 Posts

It can if you use gaming as an excuse not to interact with people and/or as an outlet to forget/ignore your loneliness.

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warmblur

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#3  Edited By warmblur
Member since 2017 • 3988 Posts

I'm a loner by choice I don't think games caused my loneliness but experience with annoying bad people over the years in general has made me despise the human race for the most part. I don't hate all people I'm just to tired to put up with their drama anymore I got enough problems of my own. I don't know how people can have kids and stay sane.

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GhostRecon2020

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#4 GhostRecon2020
Member since 2020 • 13 Posts

@warmblur: I tried dating women. But no success. I invested 3 years into PUA and 1 year online dating. Got nothing.

I guess I will be rotting alone, so why not to enjoy it at least?

How old are you? why did you have bad experience with people?

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#5  Edited By warmblur
Member since 2017 • 3988 Posts

@ghostrecon2020 said:

@warmblur: I tried dating women. But no success. I invested 3 years into PUA and 1 year online dating. Got nothing.

I guess I will be rotting alone, so why not to enjoy it at least?

How old are you? why did you have bad experience with people?

I'm in my late 30's as for my experience with people bad luck I guess I tried to be the nice guy but I was surrounded by mostly assholes and backstabbers. I feel almost nihilist at this point I'm just tired and burned out and I don't even care anymore I pretty much excepted I'll be alone forever. Even my therapist that I trusted for many years backstabbed me to the point where the FBI came to my house because my shrink was creating fake appointments that I never went to. To scam the insurance company so he could get more money he would write fake shit about me and say that I wasn't trying to get better I wouldn't lie that hurt I was going there for years just another fake asshole he was.

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#6  Edited By Ezekiel43
Member since 2017 • 2226 Posts

@ghostrecon2020 said:

@warmblur: and 1 year online dating. Got nothing.

Online dating is horrible. It's for people who are already very desirable. A small pool of men get all the hits and the female users can very easily filter out anyone whose information they don't like. I tried both the dating and hookup ones. Total waste of time. I also tried a gay hookup one and had someone in my bed within like two days. I was getting so many hits. Shows you how ridiculously lopsided the sexes and expectations are. I've had one (brief) sexual partner and don't see myself being with someone again.

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#7 Ovirew
Member since 2008 • 9362 Posts

So my feeling is that it isn't gaming that causes loneliness, and gaming can be a fun past time that also makes you feel better.

But over-gaming, spending too much time on video games when you could dedicate free time to going out into nature, meeting people or spending time with others, can be severely detrimental.

Thinking about a few upcoming games this year, I am really looking forward to them. I am still excited about gaming, and possibly even buying a new gaming system later on. But I can only devote my gaming time to so many games. And gaming will not solve my ongoing problems with other people.

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GhostRecon2020

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#8 GhostRecon2020
Member since 2020 • 13 Posts

@warmblur said:
@ghostrecon2020 said:

@warmblur: I tried dating women. But no success. I invested 3 years into PUA and 1 year online dating. Got nothing.

I guess I will be rotting alone, so why not to enjoy it at least?

How old are you? why did you have bad experience with people?

I'm in my late 30's as for my experience with people bad luck I guess I tried to be the nice guy but I was surrounded by mostly assholes and backstabbers. I feel almost nihilist at this point I'm just tired and burned out and I don't even care anymore I pretty much excepted I'll be alone forever. Even my therapist that I trusted for many years backstabbed me to the point where the FBI came to my house because my shrink was creating fake appointments that I never went to. To scam the insurance company so he could get more money he would write fake shit about me and say that I wasn't trying to get better I wouldn't lie that hurt I was going there for years just another fake asshole he was.

Eeeww.

Just finished a 15 hour gaming sessions of battlefield bad company 2. Quite tired of video games so I uninstalled every game that I had.

I am not sure if to go back to playing video games.. nothing appeals to me currently..

Truthfully, I wouldnt replace video games with any type of friends. You are right that being surrounded by any type of friends may not be good for you. People think if you are not married and dont have friends, then you are a sad person. But I always thought that it isnt true. Having stupid people around you, drains the energy from you and makes you more miserable than you were before. Why do people think that being married to a any woman is better than not being married ? Honestly, I dont think that I will ever meet my soulmate. I also stopped talking to my family 2 years ago. Why should I feel imposed to communicate with them, if I dont want to. Bringing me to this was world was probably one of their most selfish deeds.

It is nice to be able to express how you feel without being frowned on for having non-mainstream views which are deviant. The cowardice and neurotic society that we live in, cant call spade a spade so it has to create lies and also impose them on others. Same was done regarding video games. Society doesnt want video games to be beneficial for the individual and even promote positive mental health, so it created a social construct that categorizes video games as mostly violent or/and waste of time. I have finished gaming (I think) after 30 years and I dont feel more violent and have no regrets for putting all those hours into playing video games.

Life is like the game "Doom Eternal". You are being outnumbered by monsters and no matter how you work on yourself, there are too many of them to defeat. The only main differences are that you dont get to respawn, it isnt your world and you are not supposed to win.

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#9 JustPlainLucas
Member since 2002 • 79814 Posts

I think I'd be better off in life in general if I didn't game so much.

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#10  Edited By Speeny
Member since 2018 • 2317 Posts

I see gaming as being more of a distraction than anything else. Does it cause me to feel lonely? No. But if I allow myself to play too much I guess I can see myself becoming isolated...not necessarily feeling lonely though.

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#11 johnd13
Member since 2011 • 9947 Posts

I could see gaming as more of a pastime for people who are already lonely (for one reason or another) rather than it being the cause of said isolation. Unless it ends up being an addiction that someone can't escape from.

Personally, I enjoy solitude and gaming is a great outlet to spend my much desired alone time. Contrary to that, it also allows me to spend more time with friends than I would/could otherwise as it can be a social activity as well. I play online multiplayer games with friends most days of the week. Heck I think I'm having more fun when grouping up with friends on a game rather than meeting them in person lol.

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#12  Edited By GhostRecon2020
Member since 2020 • 13 Posts

@johnd13 said:

I could see gaming as more of a pastime for people who are already lonely (for one reason or another) rather than it being the cause of said isolation. Unless it ends up being an addiction that someone can't escape from.

Personally, I enjoy solitude and gaming is a great outlet to spend my much desired alone time. Contrary to that, it also allows me to spend more time with friends than I would/could otherwise as it can be a social activity as well. I play online multiplayer games with friends most days of the week. Heck I think I'm having more fun when grouping up with friends on a game rather than meeting them in person lol.

I used to be a social gamer when I was a young teen. I used to play fight games (soul caliber, teken, mortal combat games), horror games (Resident Evil 1) and adventure games (Crash Bandicot).

It is much better than going with friends to the bar.

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#13 Kadin_Kai
Member since 2015 • 743 Posts

@ghostrecon2020: Hey, I am really sorry to hear that you are lonely, but it sounds to me you do play games too much. A 15-hour session of Battlefield is far too much!

If you feel lonely, why not go out with some of your co-workers after work, talk about Trump! That usually gets everyone's attention.

How about doing some volunteer work on the weekends, you will definitely meet some truly amazing people! You obviously have some spare time, so it will be good to give something back to your community.

Why not enrol in a course? Bump up your excel skills, learn a new language, you might find it addictive and start enrolling in all sorts of courses. This way you will meet many new people that share a common interest.

Or you can even take up course in Art or even Dancing classes. My daughter goes dancing twice a week and I find that she has a deeper friendship with her fellow dancing friends than her school friends.

Not only will you meet new people, learn new skills, you can even put it all on your CV!

You can obviously maintain your gaming hobby, but treat it as a hobby rather than a priority.

I wish you good luck!

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GhostRecon2020

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#14 GhostRecon2020
Member since 2020 • 13 Posts

@kadin_kai said:

@ghostrecon2020: Hey, I am really sorry to hear that you are lonely, but it sounds to me you do play games too much. A 15-hour session of Battlefield is far too much!

If you feel lonely, why not go out with some of your co-workers after work, talk about Trump! That usually gets everyone's attention.

How about doing some volunteer work on the weekends, you will definitely meet some truly amazing people! You obviously have some spare time, so it will be good to give something back to your community.

Why not enrol in a course? Bump up your excel skills, learn a new language, you might find it addictive and start enrolling in all sorts of courses. This way you will meet many new people that share a common interest.

Or you can even take up course in Art or even Dancing classes. My daughter goes dancing twice a week and I find that she has a deeper friendship with her fellow dancing friends than her school friends.

Not only will you meet new people, learn new skills, you can even put it all on your CV!

You can obviously maintain your gaming hobby, but treat it as a hobby rather than a priority.

I wish you good luck!

@kadin_kai said:

@ghostrecon2020: Hey, I am really sorry to hear that you are lonely, but it sounds to me you do play games too much. A 15-hour session of Battlefield is far too much!

If you feel lonely, why not go out with some of your co-workers after work, talk about Trump! That usually gets everyone's attention.

How about doing some volunteer work on the weekends, you will definitely meet some truly amazing people! You obviously have some spare time, so it will be good to give something back to your community.

Why not enrol in a course? Bump up your excel skills, learn a new language, you might find it addictive and start enrolling in all sorts of courses. This way you will meet many new people that share a common interest.

Or you can even take up course in Art or even Dancing classes. My daughter goes dancing twice a week and I find that she has a deeper friendship with her fellow dancing friends than her school friends.

Not only will you meet new people, learn new skills, you can even put it all on your CV!

You can obviously maintain your gaming hobby, but treat it as a hobby rather than a priority.

I wish you good luck!

Lolz, I play on Saturdays only. Yeah, it is a lot.. I try to squeeze as many hours from that game as I can.

I must game once a week. I learnt with time that the harder you work during the week, the harder you need to rest. If you have all your days productive days, you burn out faster.

Thats because people are assholes that are not worth socializing with. I believe that you need to be selective about the people you hand out with. Random people may back stab you or just have a bad influence on you, or simply waste your time doing something productive (or simply playing Battlefield).

I am thinking, however, about volunteering. I am vegan, and thought to volunteer once a week to help the animals.

I will be coming back to practice BJJ.

Thanks for the volunteering advice. It got me thinking. Gaming isnt a hobby, it is a necessity.

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#15  Edited By Preddy
Member since 2020 • 1 Posts
@ghostrecon2020 said:

Lolz, I play on Saturdays only. Yeah, it is a lot.. I try to win at sports betting and casino games because I read interesting gambling guides on https://www.gamblinghero.com.

I must game once a week. I learnt with time that the harder you work during the week, the harder you need to rest. If you have all your days productive days, you burn out faster.

Thats because people are assholes that are not worth socializing with. I believe that you need to be selective about the people you hand out with. Random people may back stab you or just have a bad influence on you, or simply waste your time doing something productive (or simply playing Battlefield).

I am thinking, however, about volunteering. I am vegan, and thought to volunteer once a week to help the animals.

I will be coming back to practice BJJ.

Thanks for the volunteering advice. It got me thinking. Gaming isnt a hobby, it is a necessity.

I agree that gaming is a very good way to relax from all the working stress. And it doesn't matter if you play PC games or sport games like basket ball, soccer or whatever. In all types of games you can find other people to play with and socialize. But gaming shouldn't become an addiction because otherwise the work gets less attention and the money income could be in danger. Some people even play casino games with real money but I think that's a rather dangerous hobby.

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#16 Kadin_Kai
Member since 2015 • 743 Posts

@ghostrecon2020: Hey good luck! I am sure you'll be fine!

Enjoy the volunteer work, there are always fabulous people there!

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#17 Wheelygary
Member since 2020 • 3 Posts

I guess it can isolate you a lot if you're gaming heaps. I try to find a balance. I think volunteering would be a great idea.

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#18 GhostRecon2020
Member since 2020 • 13 Posts

I think I will pass on volunteering actually. It is time consuming and meaningless.

Finished another 10 hour game session this Saturday.

I am sick of playing any other video game than BFBC2.

I dont think that my life would have been better without video games.

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#19  Edited By dantesergei
Member since 2004 • 2234 Posts

I see gaming as just another coping mechanism, doesn't mean someone can enjoy it. Taking part in other worlds, taking fantastic roles as your own, it can indeed be very distracting.

The human mind is a puzzle, attributing loneliness to one thing (gaming) is false i think, a contributing factor to isolation, but not entirely.

Maybe try different things at home. Watching films (not the commercial ones), reading, exercise...

Gaming related, Death Stranding is very different, it has been my "chill and pacification ritual" since it came out. Already 190hrs still discovering and understanding tiny details in its core mechanics. A much more complex game than it might appear at first glance. Patience and observation.