Funny Army vs. Marines jokes

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megahaloman64

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#1 megahaloman64
Member since 2006 • 2532 Posts

I'll start off

Marine:

My

Ass

Rides

In

Navy

Equipment

Army:

Ain't

Ready for

Marines

Yet

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blackngold29

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#2 blackngold29
Member since 2004 • 14137 Posts
Generally "joke" means "funny", generally I say.
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LJS9502_basic

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#3 LJS9502_basic
Member since 2003 • 167521 Posts
^^^Not true and thus not funny.....
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megahaloman64

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#4 megahaloman64
Member since 2006 • 2532 Posts

^^^Not true and thus not funny.....LJS9502_basic

The marines did have private pyle

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LJS9502_basic

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#5 LJS9502_basic
Member since 2003 • 167521 Posts

[QUOTE="LJS9502_basic"]^^^Not true and thus not funny.....megahaloman64

The marines did have private pyle

I was referring to the fake picture.....

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uncledeath2005

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#6 uncledeath2005
Member since 2005 • 5890 Posts

I like the Army ^^

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get-ka12

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#7 get-ka12
Member since 2009 • 1946 Posts
I laughed, megahaloman.
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nVidiaGaMer

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#8 nVidiaGaMer
Member since 2006 • 7793 Posts

I don't get it. :?

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Overrated_Hero

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#9 Overrated_Hero
Member since 2008 • 3439 Posts

I'll like to see LJS crack a few Marine jokes. :P

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sexy_fool69

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#10 sexy_fool69
Member since 2008 • 748 Posts

I'll start off

Marine:

My

Ass

Rides

In

Navy

Equipment

Army:

Ain't

Ready for

Marines

Yet

megahaloman64
booooooooo
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-Fromage-

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#11 -Fromage-
Member since 2009 • 10565 Posts
What a terrible starting joke.
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ps3wizard45

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#12 ps3wizard45
Member since 2007 • 12907 Posts

Marine Task Force Recon > All haha,get it? The Marines kick ass so hard it... fu-... I'll stop...

It's true btw ;)

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Tropicalshower

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#13 Tropicalshower
Member since 2009 • 10813 Posts
>_> needs more funny
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yabbicoke

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#14 yabbicoke
Member since 2007 • 4069 Posts

The Army spent millions of dollars developing a pen that could write in space. The Marines just used a pencil.

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Tropicalshower

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#15 Tropicalshower
Member since 2009 • 10813 Posts

The Army spent millions of dollars developing a pen that could write in space. The Marines just used a pencil.

yabbicoke
There we go :P
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LZ71

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#16 LZ71
Member since 2008 • 10524 Posts
This thread lacks teh funnies....>_>
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ufcfan17

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#17 ufcfan17
Member since 2009 • 1641 Posts

Two Marines boarded a quick shuttle flight out of Dallas, headed for Houston. One sat in the window seat, the other sat in the middle seat.

Just before take-off, an Army soldier got on and took the aisle seat next to the two Marines.

The Soldier kicked off his shoes, wiggled his toes and was settling in when the Marine in the window seat said, "I think I'll get up and get a coke." "No problem," said the Soldier, "I'll get it for you."

While he was gone, the Marine picked up the Soldier's shoe and spit in it. When the Soldier returned with the coke, the Marine in the middle seat said, "That looks good, I think I'll have one too."

Again, the Soldier obligingly went to fetch it and while he was gone, the Marine picked up the soldier's other shoe and spit in it. The Soldier returned and they all sat back and enjoyed the rest of the short flight to Houston.

As the plane was landing, the Soldier slipped his feet into his shoes and knew immediately what had happened.

"How long must this go on?" the Soldier asked.

"This fighting between our services? This hatred? This animosity? This spitting in shoes and peeing in cokes?"

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megahaloman64

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#18 megahaloman64
Member since 2006 • 2532 Posts

heres a funny one

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sexy_fool69

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#19 sexy_fool69
Member since 2008 • 748 Posts

heres a funny one

megahaloman64

not funny:|

(I=caveman)

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howlrunner13

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#20 howlrunner13
Member since 2005 • 4408 Posts

Two Marines boarded a quick shuttle flight out of Dallas, headed for Houston. One sat in the window seat, the other sat in the middle seat.

Just before take-off, an Army soldier got on and took the aisle seat next to the two Marines.

The Soldier kicked off his shoes, wiggled his toes and was settling in when the Marine in the window seat said, "I think I'll get up and get a coke." "No problem," said the Soldier, "I'll get it for you."

While he was gone, the Marine picked up the Soldier's shoe and spit in it. When the Soldier returned with the coke, the Marine in the middle seat said, "That looks good, I think I'll have one too."

Again, the Soldier obligingly went to fetch it and while he was gone, the Marine picked up the soldier's other shoe and spit in it. The Soldier returned and they all sat back and enjoyed the rest of the short flight to Houston.

As the plane was landing, the Soldier slipped his feet into his shoes and knew immediately what had happened.

"How long must this go on?" the Soldier asked.

"This fighting between our services? This hatred? This animosity? This spitting in shoes and peeing in cokes?"

ufcfan17

Haha nice.

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FunkWeasel

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#21 FunkWeasel
Member since 2006 • 2508 Posts

I think it's very disrespectful to mock any of the brave people that put their lives on the line for the safety of our nation. Regardless of military division, these people die for you, and all you do is mock their profession?

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goth_bacon

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#22 goth_bacon
Member since 2007 • 1110 Posts

I think it's very disrespectful to mock any of the brave people that put their lives on the line for the safety of our nation. Regardless of military division, these people die for you, and all you do is mock their profession?

FunkWeasel
I agree with this.
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M8ingSeezun

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#23 M8ingSeezun
Member since 2007 • 2238 Posts

[QUOTE="FunkWeasel"]

I think it's very disrespectful to mock any of the brave people that put their lives on the line for the safety of our nation. Regardless of military division, these people die for you, and all you do is mock their profession?

goth_bacon

I agree with this.

I second that.

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KG86

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#24 KG86
Member since 2007 • 6021 Posts

The Army spent millions of dollars developing a pen that could write in space. The Marines just used a pencil.

yabbicoke

That was originally a US vs Russia joke during the space race with US replacing army and Russia replacing marines.

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applesxc47

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#25 applesxc47
Member since 2008 • 10761 Posts

[QUOTE="yabbicoke"]

The Army spent millions of dollars developing a pen that could write in space. The Marines just used a pencil.

KG86

That was originally a US vs Russia joke during the space race with US replacing army and Russia replacing marines.

I know I've heard that somewhere else too.

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good_sk8er7

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#27 good_sk8er7
Member since 2009 • 4327 Posts

All of them do different things.

I was in the delayed entry program for the Marines, and usually its just people who are a part of a particular branch who mock others.

Its wrong but when I was in there We used to make jokes about the other branches

Example:: Airforce= Chairforce. =)

Funny Stuff.

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Kenny789

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#28 Kenny789
Member since 2006 • 10434 Posts

[QUOTE="yabbicoke"]

The Army spent millions of dollars developing a pen that could write in space. The Marines just used a pencil.

KG86

That was originally a US vs Russia joke during the space race with US replacing army and Russia replacing marines.

That's just a joke right? My teacher told us that with a straight face. I think he thought it was real :P
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SnipeyMcSnipe

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#29 SnipeyMcSnipe
Member since 2006 • 2010 Posts

[QUOTE="goth_bacon"][QUOTE="FunkWeasel"]

I think it's very disrespectful to mock any of the brave people that put their lives on the line for the safety of our nation. Regardless of military division, these people die for you, and all you do is mock their profession?

M8ingSeezun

I agree with this.

I second that.

[/QUOTE I reserve the right to do it though. Hope I don't get in trouble for this one. Do you know why the Army says hooah? It's how you say oorah with a !@#$ in your mouth. For real though, I don't think a few jokes can be that harmful. Three of my best friends are in the army and we joke back and forth but we still have the most respect you can have for one another.
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metalpower08

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#30 metalpower08
Member since 2007 • 1254 Posts

[QUOTE="yabbicoke"]

The Army spent millions of dollars developing a pen that could write in space. The Marines just used a pencil.

Tropicalshower

There we go :P

that was Russia who used a pencil and NASA who was developing the pen. Anywhere but the States the Marines have a terrible reputation. I mean, they admittidly have "bullet sponges". WTF

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Pirate700

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#31 Pirate700
Member since 2008 • 46465 Posts

^^^Not true and thus not funny.....LJS9502_basic
I agree. It's not true at all and the joke is idiotic and insulting. :|

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Pirate700

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#32 Pirate700
Member since 2008 • 46465 Posts

heres a funny one

megahaloman64

:roll: Wow...good one. Why don't you see if you could last a week in bootcamp before you post junk like this.

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DarkPrinceXC

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#33 DarkPrinceXC
Member since 2003 • 5921 Posts

[QUOTE="megahaloman64"]

heres a funny one

sexy_fool69

not funny:|

(I=caveman)

heres a funny one

megahaloman64

Uh, well apparently the caveman couldn't put a joke together properly. The outfit he's wearing are Marine Corps cammies.

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megahaloman64

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#34 megahaloman64
Member since 2006 • 2532 Posts

Its a joke, its not mocking anyone.

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megahaloman64

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#35 megahaloman64
Member since 2006 • 2532 Posts

I think it's very disrespectful to mock any of the brave people that put their lives on the line for the safety of our nation. Regardless of military division, these people die for you, and all you do is mock their profession?

FunkWeasel

seriously, take a joke, even they know its not serious.

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Lto_thaG

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#36 Lto_thaG
Member since 2006 • 22611 Posts

Wow,thread didn't go as expected :lol:

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caliwebman

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#37 caliwebman
Member since 2004 • 25 Posts
All's I have to say after reading megahaloman64 's post about the army caveman poster is this..................... HAHHAHAHAHAHAHAhahahahahahahhaaaaa!!! -s U.S. Army Combat Veteran p.s. there has always been a competitive battle within the ranks of our different forces....... be it Army vs Navy NCAA football.... be it sniper to sniper records... be it some really nasty" so called" jokes and dissing between the groups. BUt when the sh|+ hits the fan, u can bet all forces drop all that to come together in cohesive effect.
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vfibsux

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#38 vfibsux
Member since 2003 • 4497 Posts

I think it's very disrespectful to mock any of the brave people that put their lives on the line for the safety of our nation. Regardless of military division, these people die for you, and all you do is mock their profession?

FunkWeasel
Typically these jokes are told by those of us in the service, it is a friendly rivalry with an occasional bar brawl. Nothing to be offended by.
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vfibsux

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#39 vfibsux
Member since 2003 • 4497 Posts

If you ask me both ya'll are suckas

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-Sun_Tzu-

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#40 -Sun_Tzu-
Member since 2007 • 17384 Posts

Why don't you see if you could last a week in bootcamp

Pirate700

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bossman335

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#41 bossman335
Member since 2012 • 25 Posts
You know, there's this knew thing the government just invented that you should probably try out. It's called a sense of humor.
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noscope-ak47

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#43 noscope-ak47
Member since 2012 • 1318 Posts

Do you know what marines really means??

My - A$$ - Really - Is - Navy - Equipment - Sir :lol:

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VanHelsingBoA64

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#44 VanHelsingBoA64
Member since 2007 • 5455 Posts
Sure is 2009 in here.
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leviathan91

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#45 leviathan91
Member since 2007 • 7763 Posts

Sure is 2009 in here. VanHelsingBoA64

Thread has been bumped two times now; one in April and right now.

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hippiesanta

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#46 hippiesanta
Member since 2005 • 10299 Posts
don't ask don't tell is funnier
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#47 whiskeystrike
Member since 2011 • 12188 Posts

I think it's very disrespectful to mock any of the brave people that put their lives on the line for the safety of our nation. Regardless of military division, these people die for you, and all you do is mock their profession?

FunkWeasel

rofl. There are some Marines here on the post and we're always giving each other sh!t. It's just how we are. No worries.

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lo_Pine

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#48 lo_Pine
Member since 2012 • 4978 Posts
Why would you join the Army instead of badass Marines?
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leviathan91

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#49 leviathan91
Member since 2007 • 7763 Posts

Why would you join the Army instead of badass Marines?lo_Pine

To be fair, the US army has the Rangers, Green Berets, and Delta Force which are more badass than the Marines.

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WhiteKnight77

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#50 WhiteKnight77
Member since 2003 • 12605 Posts

[QUOTE="lo_Pine"]Why would you join the Army instead of badass Marines?leviathan91

To be fair, the US army has the Rangers, Green Berets, and Delta Force which are more badass than the Marines.

Two words, Force Recon.