Funny Army vs. Marines jokes

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Avatar image for megahaloman64
#1 Posted by megahaloman64 (2532 posts) -

I'll start off

Marine:

My

Ass

Rides

In

Navy

Equipment

Army:

Ain't

Ready for

Marines

Yet

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#2 Posted by blackngold29 (14137 posts) -
Generally "joke" means "funny", generally I say.
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#3 Posted by LJS9502_basic (166563 posts) -
^^^Not true and thus not funny.....
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#4 Posted by megahaloman64 (2532 posts) -

^^^Not true and thus not funny.....LJS9502_basic

The marines did have private pyle

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#5 Posted by LJS9502_basic (166563 posts) -

[QUOTE="LJS9502_basic"]^^^Not true and thus not funny.....megahaloman64

The marines did have private pyle

I was referring to the fake picture.....

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#6 Posted by uncledeath2005 (5890 posts) -

I like the Army ^^

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#7 Posted by get-ka12 (1946 posts) -
I laughed, megahaloman.
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#8 Posted by nVidiaGaMer (7793 posts) -

I don't get it. :?

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#9 Posted by Overrated_Hero (3439 posts) -

I'll like to see LJS crack a few Marine jokes. :P

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#10 Posted by sexy_fool69 (748 posts) -

I'll start off

Marine:

My

Ass

Rides

In

Navy

Equipment

Army:

Ain't

Ready for

Marines

Yet

megahaloman64
booooooooo
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#11 Posted by -Fromage- (10565 posts) -
What a terrible starting joke.
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#12 Posted by ps3wizard45 (12907 posts) -

Marine Task Force Recon > All haha,get it? The Marines kick ass so hard it... fu-... I'll stop...

It's true btw ;)

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#13 Posted by Tropicalshower (10813 posts) -
>_> needs more funny
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#14 Posted by yabbicoke (4069 posts) -

The Army spent millions of dollars developing a pen that could write in space. The Marines just used a pencil.

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#15 Posted by Tropicalshower (10813 posts) -

The Army spent millions of dollars developing a pen that could write in space. The Marines just used a pencil.

yabbicoke
There we go :P
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#16 Posted by LZ71 (10524 posts) -
This thread lacks teh funnies....>_>
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#17 Posted by ufcfan17 (1641 posts) -

Two Marines boarded a quick shuttle flight out of Dallas, headed for Houston. One sat in the window seat, the other sat in the middle seat.

Just before take-off, an Army soldier got on and took the aisle seat next to the two Marines.

The Soldier kicked off his shoes, wiggled his toes and was settling in when the Marine in the window seat said, "I think I'll get up and get a coke." "No problem," said the Soldier, "I'll get it for you."

While he was gone, the Marine picked up the Soldier's shoe and spit in it. When the Soldier returned with the coke, the Marine in the middle seat said, "That looks good, I think I'll have one too."

Again, the Soldier obligingly went to fetch it and while he was gone, the Marine picked up the soldier's other shoe and spit in it. The Soldier returned and they all sat back and enjoyed the rest of the short flight to Houston.

As the plane was landing, the Soldier slipped his feet into his shoes and knew immediately what had happened.

"How long must this go on?" the Soldier asked.

"This fighting between our services? This hatred? This animosity? This spitting in shoes and peeing in cokes?"

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#18 Posted by megahaloman64 (2532 posts) -

heres a funny one

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#19 Posted by sexy_fool69 (748 posts) -

heres a funny one

megahaloman64

not funny:|

(I=caveman)

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#20 Posted by howlrunner13 (4408 posts) -

Two Marines boarded a quick shuttle flight out of Dallas, headed for Houston. One sat in the window seat, the other sat in the middle seat.

Just before take-off, an Army soldier got on and took the aisle seat next to the two Marines.

The Soldier kicked off his shoes, wiggled his toes and was settling in when the Marine in the window seat said, "I think I'll get up and get a coke." "No problem," said the Soldier, "I'll get it for you."

While he was gone, the Marine picked up the Soldier's shoe and spit in it. When the Soldier returned with the coke, the Marine in the middle seat said, "That looks good, I think I'll have one too."

Again, the Soldier obligingly went to fetch it and while he was gone, the Marine picked up the soldier's other shoe and spit in it. The Soldier returned and they all sat back and enjoyed the rest of the short flight to Houston.

As the plane was landing, the Soldier slipped his feet into his shoes and knew immediately what had happened.

"How long must this go on?" the Soldier asked.

"This fighting between our services? This hatred? This animosity? This spitting in shoes and peeing in cokes?"

ufcfan17

Haha nice.

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#21 Posted by FunkWeasel (2508 posts) -

I think it's very disrespectful to mock any of the brave people that put their lives on the line for the safety of our nation. Regardless of military division, these people die for you, and all you do is mock their profession?

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#22 Posted by goth_bacon (1110 posts) -

I think it's very disrespectful to mock any of the brave people that put their lives on the line for the safety of our nation. Regardless of military division, these people die for you, and all you do is mock their profession?

FunkWeasel
I agree with this.
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#23 Posted by M8ingSeezun (2230 posts) -

[QUOTE="FunkWeasel"]

I think it's very disrespectful to mock any of the brave people that put their lives on the line for the safety of our nation. Regardless of military division, these people die for you, and all you do is mock their profession?

goth_bacon

I agree with this.

I second that.

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#24 Posted by KG86 (6021 posts) -

The Army spent millions of dollars developing a pen that could write in space. The Marines just used a pencil.

yabbicoke

That was originally a US vs Russia joke during the space race with US replacing army and Russia replacing marines.

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#25 Posted by applesxc47 (10761 posts) -

[QUOTE="yabbicoke"]

The Army spent millions of dollars developing a pen that could write in space. The Marines just used a pencil.

KG86

That was originally a US vs Russia joke during the space race with US replacing army and Russia replacing marines.

I know I've heard that somewhere else too.

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#27 Posted by good_sk8er7 (4327 posts) -

All of them do different things.

I was in the delayed entry program for the Marines, and usually its just people who are a part of a particular branch who mock others.

Its wrong but when I was in there We used to make jokes about the other branches

Example:: Airforce= Chairforce. =)

Funny Stuff.

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#28 Posted by Kenny789 (10434 posts) -

[QUOTE="yabbicoke"]

The Army spent millions of dollars developing a pen that could write in space. The Marines just used a pencil.

KG86

That was originally a US vs Russia joke during the space race with US replacing army and Russia replacing marines.

That's just a joke right? My teacher told us that with a straight face. I think he thought it was real :P
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#29 Posted by SnipeyMcSnipe (2010 posts) -

[QUOTE="goth_bacon"][QUOTE="FunkWeasel"]

I think it's very disrespectful to mock any of the brave people that put their lives on the line for the safety of our nation. Regardless of military division, these people die for you, and all you do is mock their profession?

M8ingSeezun

I agree with this.

I second that.

[/QUOTE I reserve the right to do it though. Hope I don't get in trouble for this one. Do you know why the Army says hooah? It's how you say oorah with a !@#$ in your mouth. For real though, I don't think a few jokes can be that harmful. Three of my best friends are in the army and we joke back and forth but we still have the most respect you can have for one another.
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#30 Posted by metalpower08 (1254 posts) -

[QUOTE="yabbicoke"]

The Army spent millions of dollars developing a pen that could write in space. The Marines just used a pencil.

Tropicalshower

There we go :P

that was Russia who used a pencil and NASA who was developing the pen. Anywhere but the States the Marines have a terrible reputation. I mean, they admittidly have "bullet sponges". WTF

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#31 Posted by Pirate700 (46465 posts) -

^^^Not true and thus not funny.....LJS9502_basic
I agree. It's not true at all and the joke is idiotic and insulting. :|

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#32 Posted by Pirate700 (46465 posts) -

heres a funny one

megahaloman64

:roll: Wow...good one. Why don't you see if you could last a week in bootcamp before you post junk like this.

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#33 Posted by DarkPrinceXC (5921 posts) -

[QUOTE="megahaloman64"]

heres a funny one

sexy_fool69

not funny:|

(I=caveman)

heres a funny one

megahaloman64

Uh, well apparently the caveman couldn't put a joke together properly. The outfit he's wearing are Marine Corps cammies.

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#34 Posted by megahaloman64 (2532 posts) -

Its a joke, its not mocking anyone.

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#35 Posted by megahaloman64 (2532 posts) -

I think it's very disrespectful to mock any of the brave people that put their lives on the line for the safety of our nation. Regardless of military division, these people die for you, and all you do is mock their profession?

FunkWeasel

seriously, take a joke, even they know its not serious.

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#36 Posted by Lto_thaG (22611 posts) -

Wow,thread didn't go as expected :lol:

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#37 Posted by caliwebman (25 posts) -
All's I have to say after reading megahaloman64 's post about the army caveman poster is this..................... HAHHAHAHAHAHAHAhahahahahahahhaaaaa!!! -s U.S. Army Combat Veteran p.s. there has always been a competitive battle within the ranks of our different forces....... be it Army vs Navy NCAA football.... be it sniper to sniper records... be it some really nasty" so called" jokes and dissing between the groups. BUt when the sh|+ hits the fan, u can bet all forces drop all that to come together in cohesive effect.
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#38 Posted by vfibsux (4497 posts) -

I think it's very disrespectful to mock any of the brave people that put their lives on the line for the safety of our nation. Regardless of military division, these people die for you, and all you do is mock their profession?

FunkWeasel
Typically these jokes are told by those of us in the service, it is a friendly rivalry with an occasional bar brawl. Nothing to be offended by.
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#39 Posted by vfibsux (4497 posts) -

If you ask me both ya'll are suckas

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#40 Posted by -Sun_Tzu- (17384 posts) -

Why don't you see if you could last a week in bootcamp

Pirate700

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#41 Posted by bossman335 (25 posts) -
You know, there's this knew thing the government just invented that you should probably try out. It's called a sense of humor.
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#43 Posted by noscope-ak47 (1318 posts) -

Do you know what marines really means??

My - A$$ - Really - Is - Navy - Equipment - Sir :lol:

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#44 Posted by VanHelsingBoA64 (5455 posts) -
Sure is 2009 in here.
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#45 Posted by leviathan91 (7763 posts) -

Sure is 2009 in here. VanHelsingBoA64

Thread has been bumped two times now; one in April and right now.

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#46 Posted by hippiesanta (10299 posts) -
don't ask don't tell is funnier
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#47 Posted by whiskeystrike (12185 posts) -

I think it's very disrespectful to mock any of the brave people that put their lives on the line for the safety of our nation. Regardless of military division, these people die for you, and all you do is mock their profession?

FunkWeasel

rofl. There are some Marines here on the post and we're always giving each other sh!t. It's just how we are. No worries.

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#48 Posted by lo_Pine (4978 posts) -
Why would you join the Army instead of badass Marines?
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#49 Posted by leviathan91 (7763 posts) -

Why would you join the Army instead of badass Marines?lo_Pine

To be fair, the US army has the Rangers, Green Berets, and Delta Force which are more badass than the Marines.

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#50 Posted by WhiteKnight77 (12605 posts) -

[QUOTE="lo_Pine"]Why would you join the Army instead of badass Marines?leviathan91

To be fair, the US army has the Rangers, Green Berets, and Delta Force which are more badass than the Marines.

Two words, Force Recon.