Embarrassed because I asked a girl out in a group text and she said no?

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frogo0

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#1 frogo0
Member since 2016 • 91 Posts

There this one girl who I really thought was interested in me and we had a great time laughing ,talking and studying together, but she turned me down and said she was "sick" when I asked her out in a group text(so everyone in my group saw her reject me)

Now I have to still work on a project with these people for the rest of the semester.

How to get over it? Thoughts?

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frogo0

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#2  Edited By frogo0
Member since 2016 • 91 Posts

I know many of you will say its stupid of me and I agree. However, I have 1 more month of college left before graduating, it was Friday morning and for whatever reason I felt extremely restless and impulsive at the time (I never drink btw, so I was not drunk) I just went ahead and did it. I also have very few friends and really wanted to hangout with someone that weekend since I had no one to hang out with . I feel like an idiot now.

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thehig1

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#3 thehig1
Member since 2014 • 7537 Posts

ask her again

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Solaryellow

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#4 Solaryellow
Member since 2013 • 7034 Posts

Ask her friend out.

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frogo0

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#5  Edited By frogo0
Member since 2016 • 91 Posts

@Solaryellow:

Only males in our group, besides her

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#6  Edited By br0kenrabbit
Member since 2004 • 17859 Posts

@frogo0 said:

@Solaryellow:

Only males in our group, besides her

So you had the balls to ask her out. The other guys are probably wishing they were you. Now go ask someone else. Dating is first and foremost a numbers game.

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frogo0

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#7  Edited By frogo0
Member since 2016 • 91 Posts

@br0kenrabbit:

Thanks for the tip/positive comment bro. I was expecting to get mean and insulting comments.

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jaydan

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#8  Edited By jaydan
Member since 2015 • 8414 Posts

Umm why did you ask her out in a group text? You set yourself up for embarrassment, and that is in no way fair for the girl either to put that kind of pressure on her in front of others to see. If you seriously thought that was a good idea, you dun goofed.

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frogo0

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#9 frogo0
Member since 2016 • 91 Posts

Umm why did you ask her out in a group text? You set yourself up for embarrassment, and that is in no way fair for the girl either to put that kind of pressure on her in front of others to see. If you seriously thought that was a good idea, you dun goofed.

I know many of you will say its stupid of me and I agree. However, I have 1 more month of college left before graduating, it was Friday morning and for whatever reason I felt extremely restless and impulsive at the time (I never drink btw, so I was not drunk) I just went ahead and did it. I also have very few friends and really wanted to hangout with someone that weekend since I had no one to hang out with . I feel like an idiot now.

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jaydan

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#10 jaydan
Member since 2015 • 8414 Posts

@frogo0 said:

Umm why did you ask her out in a group text? You set yourself up for embarrassment, and that is in no way fair for the girl either to put that kind of pressure on her in front of others to see. If you seriously thought that was a good idea, you dun goofed.

I know many of you will say its stupid of me and I agree. However, I have 1 more month of college left before graduating, it was Friday morning and for whatever reason I felt extremely restless and impulsive at the time (I never drink btw, so I was not drunk) I just went ahead and did it. I also have very few friends and really wanted to hangout with someone that weekend since I had no one to hang out with . I feel like an idiot now.

Knock it off with the self-pity train. You're never going to have luck if you keep it up with looking at yourself as low as you're illustrating it here.

Everyone does foolish things in all sorts of ways at different points in their lives, and you are no different.

The only difference here is people either learn from their mistakes, or they don't. Learn from your mistakes and don't sulk on it. Consider how you can approach things differently next time, and "I have one month of college left" and "I have very few friends" is not an excuse to give yourself pity.

Here's a newsflash: friends will come and go at all points in your life. It is not exclusive to your school experience. For me personally, most of my true friends I've discovered in life were never found in a school environment to begin with.

Your school career might be coming to a close, but don't act like that's the end of all things, because in reality it's only the beginning of new chapters and you better embrace that.

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frogo0

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#11  Edited By frogo0
Member since 2016 • 91 Posts

@jaydan:

@jaydan said:
@frogo0 said:

Umm why did you ask her out in a group text? You set yourself up for embarrassment, and that is in no way fair for the girl either to put that kind of pressure on her in front of others to see. If you seriously thought that was a good idea, you dun goofed.

I know many of you will say its stupid of me and I agree. However, I have 1 more month of college left before graduating, it was Friday morning and for whatever reason I felt extremely restless and impulsive at the time (I never drink btw, so I was not drunk) I just went ahead and did it. I also have very few friends and really wanted to hangout with someone that weekend since I had no one to hang out with . I feel like an idiot now.

Knock it off with the self-pity train. You're never going to have luck if you keep it up with looking at yourself as low as you're illustrating it here.

Everyone does foolish things in all sorts of ways at different points in their lives, and you are no different.

The only difference here is people either learn from their mistakes, or they don't. Learn from your mistakes and don't sulk on it. Consider how you can approach things differently next time, and "I have one month of college left" and "I have very few friends" is not an excuse to give yourself pity.

Here's a newsflash: friends will come and go at all points in your life. It is not exclusive to your school experience. For me personally, most of my true friends I've discovered in life were never found in a school environment to begin with.

Your school career might be coming to a close, but don't act like that's the end of all things, because in reality it's only the beginning of new chapters and you better embrace that.

That was a good read. Thanks for that bro.

I will just learn from my mistake and forget about it.

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#12 PimpHand_Gamer
Member since 2014 • 3048 Posts

At least now you know which is better than if you never asked. Although typically a more subtle approach that gives her time to think about an answer is usually better. Such as telling her you're going to be at Starbucks or where ever in 1 hour in case she cares to join you for some frilly sugar coffee with too much whip cream and caffeine in it. Girls love those kinds of drinks. Basically any approach that doesn't put her in a spot to answer right away.

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Baron_Machina

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#13 Baron_Machina
Member since 2017 • 273 Posts

Honestly, its not that big a deal. People ask others out and get rejected all the time, sometimes even in public. I've had some friends who had some really rough rejections when asking girls out, yet neither myself or other friends in our circle judged them for it.

The best solution is to just move on. Maybe you could have picked a better time to ask her out, but honestly I wouldn't call this situation a friendship-killer. There might be a little awkwardness between you and her, but based on your description of events, it'll probably be both minuscule and short lived. Your being far too hard on yourself and giving this way more importance than it actually has. This is a pretty tame situation all things considered.

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#14 qx0d
Member since 2018 • 333 Posts

It really doesn't matter. There's nothing to be embarrassed about. The people in the group probably didn't even see it as embarrassing. That could be all in your own mind. All you can do is move on. Certain moments happen in life that are awkward. Most of those people probably won't even remember it a week from now.

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#15  Edited By Byshop  Moderator
Member since 2002 • 20504 Posts

@frogo0: Hey Frogo0, remember when you were asked to stop making up obviously fabricated, inconsistent stories in OT because they were getting spammy? Because I sure do. Perhaps you also forgot that you graduated college with your bachelors two years ago...

-Byshop