Easter: You hide eggs around the house filled with candy.
Halloween: You get to dress up as something else to hide your shame, and knock on peoples' doors to get free stuff.
Thanksgiving: You get to eat as much as you can and not feel guilty about it.
Christmas: You get free stuff, wrapped in colorful paper, put under a tree. You also get to let your elitism shine by making your house unnecessarily bright.
I'm game.
Oh, and how could I forget? Independence day: You get to blow things up and people won't call you immature.
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