Do you think it's ok for parents to raise their children in...

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#1 Posted by lightleggy (16090 posts) -

A completely laid back way with no punishments whatsoever and giving them whatever they want?.

I only know of 1 case:

A girl with some sort of hippie-ultra liberals parents, the dad worked like at a garage part time and played with an underground band and the mom was a tatt artist.

The family name was "Heath" so they named the girl "Summer", get it? as in "SUMMER HEAT" because that's totally an amazing name.

The girl was completely obnoxious, she treated everyone like a piece of poop, she was like 14 and walked around pretending to be 28 or something like that and believed the world turned around her.

Really when I looked at her, I said to myself "this is the exact images of what I dont want my kids to become".

 

Im obviously not saying that you should be showing your kids the belt every time they do something wrong, but I completely agree with a proper punishment when lines are crossed, IMO not doing anything to your kid everytime he does something wrong will just turn him into a really bad person when he grows up.

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#2 Posted by Squall18 (3755 posts) -

When I was raised, you'd get an awful spanking for even smirking at my mom.  These days, it seems parents are SOOO light on their kids.  I can't say for sure whether or not it's ok, but one thing is for sure that we were raised with spankigns, and my bros and I turned out fine :p

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#3 Posted by johnd13 (9340 posts) -

Nothing good ever comes out of not punishing your kids at all. They almost always turn into selfish and spoiled brats that make you want to beat the sh!t out of them.

I don' t say you have to be cruel to them but they need to learn that there are limits to what they will ask and get. And it has to happen from a very young age or the "damage" will be irreversible.

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#4 Posted by Angie7F (1175 posts) -

no. kids need rules and need to learn rules.

I feel sorry for kids that have lazy parents.

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#5 Posted by VaguelyTagged (10701 posts) -

your childrend aren't supposed to turn out exactly as you want. what i dislke more than "giving children what they want" is the mindset that allows parents to think their offsprings are there to achieve what their parents couldn't. 

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#6 Posted by lx_theo (6211 posts) -

Just cruious, are you assuming she was raised without any real discipline or punishments? Or is there something beyond your general view of her parents you base that on?

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#7 Posted by sukraj (27501 posts) -

Nothing good ever comes out of not punishing your kids at all. They almost always turn into selfish and spoiled brats that make you want to beat the sh!t out of them.

I don' t say you have to be cruel to them but they need to learn that there are limits to what they will ask and get. And it has to happen from a very young age or the "damage" will be irreversible.

johnd13

yeah no need to punish chana kids no good that way.

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#8 Posted by jun_aka_pekto (23421 posts) -

Kids try to push hard to see how much they can get away with something. If you don't set limits (consequences/punishments) early on, they'll grow up thinking they can get away with anything. Then when they're older and wondering why they got punished for something they got away with when they were younger, you'll have to teach them again.

Might as well get it right the first time while they're young.

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#9 Posted by XilePrincess (13130 posts) -
I'll be pretty laid back with my kids but when you step out of line you will know about it. "Buddy" parents cause more problems than they solve. Kids need rules and structure or they grow up entitled and demanding. My kids will be punished when they do something wrong, but it will be a punishment they'll learn from, not a disconnected spanking that has nothing to do with what they did wrong.
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#10 Posted by capitalism25 (304 posts) -

A completely laid back way with no punishments whatsoever and giving them whatever they want?.

I only know of 1 case:

A girl with some sort of hippie-ultra liberals parents, the dad worked like at a garage part time and played with an underground band and the mom was a tatt artist.

The family name was "Heath" so they named the girl "Summer", get it? as in "SUMMER HEAT" because that's totally an amazing name.

The girl was completely obnoxious, she treated everyone like a piece of poop, she was like 14 and walked around pretending to be 28 or something like that and believed the world turned around her.

Really when I looked at her, I said to myself "this is the exact images of what I dont want my kids to become".

 

Im obviously not saying that you should be showing your kids the belt every time they do something wrong, but I completely agree with a proper punishment when lines are crossed, IMO not doing anything to your kid everytime he does something wrong will just turn him into a really bad person when he grows up.

lightleggy
Agreed. The new generation is quite whacked and its very obvious here in the Philippines. I've probably seen hundreds of parents now who give their children (6-10 yrs old?) expensive iPads. I have a girl cousin who gave his 2 yr old an ipad and another cousin who gave his 5 and 8 yr old one ipad each. I'm not saying that giving iPads is wrong as a whole but i've noticed that ALL of these children are extremely obnoxious, loud and disrespectful. Maybe if you balance out discipline and reward you should be fine in the end
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#11 Posted by lightleggy (16090 posts) -

Just cruious, are you assuming she was raised without any real discipline or punishments? Or is there something beyond your general view of her parents you base that on?

lx_theo
Her parents never punished her, she told me, they told me, they said they never believed in the concept of punishments and that it couldn't bring anything good, that the best way to raise your kids was always rewarding them when they did good things but never punish them for bad ones...and I was like "lol yeah that's why your girl is such a charm with everybody". The girl licked their parent's ass but was a douche with everybody else.
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#12 Posted by Jackc8 (8515 posts) -

A long time ago I went out with a hippie chick who raised her son with absolutely no discipline whatsoever.  He was an unholy demon.  Probably the main reason I broke up with her, he was intolerable to be around.

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#13 Posted by TacticalDesire (10713 posts) -

Well, I can only speak for myself, but I can't recall ever being punished really for anything.  I was never spanked or physically harmed.  I never had any severe punishments such as lost privileges, or groundings etc.  Now, this doesn't mean my parents let me run free, and do whatever I wanted when I was little or that there were absolutely no guidelines, but they trusted me, and it seems I've turned out better than most of my peers.

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#14 Posted by trasherhead (3058 posts) -
SO she acted like everyone else at the age of 14? How strange....
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#15 Posted by Fightingfan (38011 posts) -

I let me daughter do whatever she wants, though I inform her of the repercussions of her actions.

Example.

When she puts her hands on top of the stove I tell her she shouldn't do that because she might get burnt, but I don't stop her when she continues to do it after I repeatedly tell her -- she'll learn when she gets burnt.

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#16 Posted by tocool340 (21186 posts) -

When I was raised, you'd get an awful spanking for even smirking at my mom.  These days, it seems parents are SOOO light on their kids.  I can't say for sure whether or not it's ok, but one thing is for sure that we were raised with spankigns, and my bros and I turned out fine :p

Squall18
Same here. My dad gave me belt whippings constantly for some of the little things. If he came up to me and tell me to spell a random word (Like Violet) and I misspelled it, he'd break out the belt and whip my ass. If I was reading him a book and constantly got stuck on a certain word, he'd break out the belt and whip my ass. If he was talking to another adult, and I interrupt his conversation to correct his facts, he'd whip my ass. I seemed to came out ok though...::P
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#17 Posted by Riverwolf007 (26023 posts) -

that's terrible thing to do to most children.

there is maybe one out of a thousnad that you could do that with and them not turn out as a horrible person.

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#18 Posted by leviathan91 (7763 posts) -

I guess there are two extremes to parenting: Not doing anything or doing too much.

Obviously you should let your kids have a level of freedom that is appropriate for their age but at the same time you should still instill your own moral values (such as treating others with respect, pick your battles, etc, etc) as well as discipline (time outs, taking away stuff, grounding, etc) but without physical abuse.

But what do I know, I'm not a parent. To answer your question, I have no idea. Perhaps there's a kid out there who has the same type of parents but isn't an obnoxious brat. There's a right way of doing things and a wrong way.

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#19 Posted by VanHelsingBoA64 (5455 posts) -

your childrend aren't supposed to turn out exactly as you want. what i dislke more than "giving children what they want" is the mindset that allows parents to think their offsprings are there to achieve what their parents couldn't. 

VaguelyTagged
damn it's true
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#20 Posted by N30F3N1X (8745 posts) -

your childrend aren't supposed to turn out exactly as you want. what i dislke more than "giving children what they want" is the mindset that allows parents to think their offsprings are there to achieve what their parents couldn't. 

VaguelyTagged

It is natural for a parent to try to pass on his passions to his child. I don't know what kind of sh!t parents you must've had for even thinking of saying something like what you just did. It's not what parents want their children to achieve, it's about teaching kids not to make the mistakes that the parents did.

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#21 Posted by -Sun_Tzu- (17384 posts) -
Maeby
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#22 Posted by Palantas (15327 posts) -

Doing so would create a child grossly unprepared for the world. They'd also be hell to live with.

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#23 Posted by kingkong0124 (8329 posts) -

Spanking is fine with me.

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#24 Posted by ghoklebutter (19327 posts) -
I don't like punishments, but I'm not for spoiling them, either.