Yeah I am generally aware that I do assume certain things when referring to occupation, hobbies, and so forth. I am old enough that I come from a time where pretty much zero women played video games, so I am still surprised (pleasantly, mind you!) when I find out a woman plays video games. Apparently being joyous over the fact the opposite sex plays video games is sexist, sort of like how saying "all Asians are good at math" is racist despite being a positive. Fair enough.
*shrug*
I am trying, though, I definitely don't want to offend anyone, but it's really hard to give two shits when the other side of the argument is easily triggered. Meaningful change takes time, generations worth of time concerning social issues, and they're too greedy to have that change in their time to be as considerate to others as they want others to be to them. I don't mind being corrected "she" when I refer to someone as a "he" in a male-dominated workforce, but when they start forming conclusions on judgements on my character because of that, it's a dick move on their part.
@vagrantsnow said:
No because rational people understand that you are not psychic.
True enough, but the problem is most people are not rational.
My rule is to go by what their sex appears to be; if they want to claim a certain gender or gender fluid or what have you, that's fine, I just hope they are polite when correcting people. I'll call you "Zim" or "Trans-species Fox-person", whatever you like, if you're a good person.
@saltslasher said:
I try to use different words like "dude". But if you're a girl, would you rather everyone just call you he, or another term like bro or should I avoid pro-nouns and use peoples names, even if multiple times in a sentence.
I use "dude" too. As a Californian, dude is a pretty fluid word here that means a lot of things.
- Dude! with a :) inflection is: being pleasantly surprised (for example, seeing a longtime friend for the first time in a while)
- Duuuuuuuude: a drawn out, relaxed "dude" means satisfaction. Like "Duuuuuuuude this avocado toast is so good"
- Dude: said in a curt, short manner, "dude" is used to express frustration. Like "Dude. WTF!?!"
- Dude?, with a questionable tone: this is used when someone says something incorrect or outrageous, but you want to be kind of polite about it but still call them on their shit. For example, one friend might go "Hmm, maybe the Earth really is flat" and my response would be "Ummm, dude? No."
What bugs me is when I use "guys" as a collective, non-gender/sex designation, and people get pissed about it. For example, there's a group of ten people, 5 female and 5 male. I say "Hello how are you guys doing" and everyone responds but then some twerp has to go "Guys and girls, you mean?" and then I look like the asshole.
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