I was just wondering, I know I’m not legitimately crazy and this is not really something that’s verifiable in a way or legitimate in a way, in regards to what I’m speaking on in regards to. Basically, I’ve been ostracized and socially rejected for my life choices and personal views or even my background and social origin, or culture and heritage. I experienced constant social scorn, hostile and resentment.
Basically, I couldn’t figure out what I wanted for do with my life, I discovered,all these alternative ways of thinking and looking at the world, I didn’t realize it but they were in origin kind of “left” or “liberal” leaning, but not necessarily “communism” in fact a lot of it could be considered just philosophical. So when I was in my teens I was really inquisitive and vey questioning. I didn’t want to just simply “accept” what everyone around me told me to do, and following along with the majority.
But again, this just created constant scorn and hatred from others. Most people I met, you can’t even talk to them about such legitimate and real subjects, they would just inform me or pretend and try to make me think I was crazy.
It all ended up making what I was going through even worse, and I felt more confused and alienated. Even now, its progressed and become even more pronounced in the country I reside in. There’s like no tolerance or acknowledgement of individual rights or free and personal choice.
It drove me nuts because vend I’d you don’t “agree” (like such concepts don’t even exist, ideas, opinions, “agreeing, disagreeing”) I’ve alwys been relatively smart and competent and yet it’s just weird, I don’t understand then what measuring stick or judging system I am being held towards. What am I supposed to accomplish or achieve? What does everyone want from me?
I have some grasp of how many people perceive things, but it’s just ever been the case for me.
It then, despite being held against all these unrelenting arbitrary or vague standards, I found most of them unjustifiable becusse for example, I haven’t found that many people who are as intelligent as me, but yet hold fancy bachelors degrees and the like against me. It’s not that hard for me, so then what is it?
*resigns to perpetual agony and discombobulation*