Can anyone understand my experiences.?

I was just wondering, I know I’m not legitimately crazy and this is not really something that’s verifiable in a way or legitimate in a way, in regards to what I’m speaking on in regards to. Basically, I’ve been ostracized and socially rejected for my life choices and personal views or even my background and social origin, or culture and heritage. I experienced constant social scorn, hostile and resentment.

Basically, I couldn’t figure out what I wanted for do with my life, I discovered,all these alternative ways of thinking and looking at the world, I didn’t realize it but they were in origin kind of “left” or “liberal” leaning, but not necessarily “communism” in fact a lot of it could be considered just philosophical. So when I was in my teens I was really inquisitive and vey questioning. I didn’t want to just simply “accept” what everyone around me told me to do, and following along with the majority.

But again, this just created constant scorn and hatred from others. Most people I met, you can’t even talk to them about such legitimate and real subjects, they would just inform me or pretend and try to make me think I was crazy.

It all ended up making what I was going through even worse, and I felt more confused and alienated. Even now, its progressed and become even more pronounced in the country I reside in. There’s like no tolerance or acknowledgement of individual rights or free and personal choice.

It drove me nuts because vend I’d you don’t “agree” (like such concepts don’t even exist, ideas, opinions, “agreeing, disagreeing”) I’ve alwys been relatively smart and competent and yet it’s just weird, I don’t understand then what measuring stick or judging system I am being held towards. What am I supposed to accomplish or achieve? What does everyone want from me?

I have some grasp of how many people perceive things, but it’s just ever been the case for me.

It then, despite being held against all these unrelenting arbitrary or vague standards, I found most of them unjustifiable becusse for example, I haven’t found that many people who are as intelligent as me, but yet hold fancy bachelors degrees and the like against me. It’s not that hard for me, so then what is it?

*resigns to perpetual agony and discombobulation*

I guess, such consciences and luxuries as “friends” or comradeship will never truly exist for me, I have to look and interact at people purely from a standpoint of incentive value I.e. “money” and “work” “jobs” and have to purely interact with others from this perspective.

I did end up just becoming a “Christian” of sorts, but I’m not really religious about it. I was told this, and you know, Nietzsche said “God was dead” I’m not that liable to disagree. Religion is corrupt as hell.

I don’t know if anyone has ever experienced the “what do you do” questionare thing that others hold against or grill you with. That’s one thing I’ve never been able to adequately answer. What do I do? And there’s this unspoken exeodtsrkon for what you should do that makes no sense. Like just ugh, vague traditions, social conformity? Omfg.

You sound like you're going to wind up as Gerald Butler singing in the sewers.

I like shiny things.

Some people don't care about your "views". Talk about something else.

You think too much. Just be you.

I suffer from something similar so I know how frustrating it is when someone says "just be yourself" but just think about it. Just not too much.

Should maybe get a hobby and stop worrying so much about what others think of you or particular subjects.

Don't focus on what others say or view about yourself. You'll never be able to please everyone.

You say you've been scorned, alienated, and faced hostility because of your views. Does this include family and "friends", and if so to what degree? If those close to you accept you, then stay close to them and strengthen those relationships.

Also, you self-identify as a Christian "of sorts." How involved and engaged are you in your faith? If to a measurable degree, I'd imagine you'd face more acceptance in that community. Or is it just something to do to be accepted and you don't really care for the spiritual aspects?

There are many reasons why a person could get targeted or ostracized and many instances where it isn't really fair of just.

But that's life. The human race has come quite a distance technologically over the past two thousand years or so, but not so far spiritually in my opinion.

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@fenrir-strife: what specific views are you being ostracized for and who is ostracizing you?

Also, how are you expressing these views in public? You said in your post that you feel you are smarter than others, if that comes through in your personality then perhaps people are shunning you because of a superiority complex rather than your actual views.

In my experience people will not ostracize you if you share different views as long as you are not a jerk about expressing them. Personally, I am a person who has politics that are all over the place which means that no matter who you are, we will find some areas we agree on and some we disagree on. Expressing your beliefs in a non-preachy way and genuinely valuing opinions of others, even if they differ from yours, goes a long way in being accepted by others.

Also, don't just resign yourself to being alone, I don't know how old you are or where you live but it is not easy to make friends, especially as you get older. Speaking from personal experience I moved far from home 3 years ago, away from all the people I grew up with. It was hard at first but once I made a choice to get out there and meet people I made a lot of great friends. Just find something you love and join groups around those interests, in that way you are likely to meet other like minded people

@pook99: Great points. It's necessary to have a measure of humility and be approachable; having a superior attitude is always off-putting -- intentional or not.

There are just so many factors that make a person unlikeable. Nobody here can help you understand your specific factors, what you can do is to ask any relatives of their honest opinion on why you might be considered a buzzkill. My first guess is that you might come off as stuck up and uncomfortable with yourself which then makes everyone around you uncomfortable... But don’t take those words for granted I’m just guessing from my judgment based on your two posts.

If you want to find yourself you should never ask yourself what others want you to be. You should ask yourself what makes you happy, and the answer to that question can take months or even years to discover. Never be afraid to try new things but also do all things in moderation!