Are you assertive?

Or do you roll over easy? Are you afraid people won't like you if you remain steadfast in your decisions, or do you just not care?

I am not closed to relaxing my stance on certain issues in extraordinary situations (e.g. I don't usually loan people money, but if someone is hard up for rent or food or something due to events outside their control I might, depends on who). Under normal circumstances, though, I'm pretty damn stubborn.

If that makes someone dislike me, then so be it. Still not my problem. But I know a few people who seem so scared that people will have a bad opinion of them that they allow themselves to be used like a tool. They may think they are just being nice and compassionate, but grow a damned backbone. Not everyone has to like you all of the time.

I don't roll over. I don't give a shit what people think of me.

The term "assertive" has more of a being proactive meaning to me.

I'll take lead if no one else does. If someone insists on taking lead, I let that person have it. I figure, let him have his shot. But, if that person's attempt falls flat, I'm standing by ready to take over and dig ourselves out of the hole. In the real world, I've been in that situation too many times to count.

I'm also flexible enough to know there is more than one way to accomplish the same goal.

Nope.

I recently don't give much damn about what others think of me. As rolling out of college and set my foot to work, I began to realize that others' opinions don't really matter.

I like your closing "Not everyone has to like you all the time", it holds true most of the time, especially when it comes to building long-term relationship that requires ultimate honesty and trust. They don't like me now, it's ok, soon they'll realize who and what I am and accept our well-profound relationship. I'm 22 btw.

Same here, but I contribute my idea for the team usually.

I'm pretty rough around the edges.

Some call me an asshole.

I'm slowly starting to care less about others' opinion of me. My social anxiety is getting in the way sometimes though.

I agree with @johnd13. As I'm getting older I care less and less about what other people think. Not so much with family and close friends, but with 'acquaintances'. It's as the old saying goes, "Those who mind don't matter, and those who matter don't mind."

@goodzorr: Yeah there's always that random acquaintance that might seem to not like me. My initial wondering of "wait does this guy not like me? why?" is usually followed by a "nah who cares, we're not friends anyway".

I'm sure you guys are all just a bunch of badasses.

Not at all.

Stop asserting your dominance! :P

No not that much at the moment. On the contarary, I am growing in assertiveness in real life situations but when someone calls me a noob online I feel injured XD.(gamer style) and just get fed up(why i stray a lot from vs online games and play co op)

What a sweetheart. Thank you for noticing :D

Seriously though...mostly I speak my mind and deal with the consequences. It's not so much that I'm trying to be assertive but I'm always too exhausted to give a damn about what most people think about me. There's a very small group of people I love and do my best to please...as for the rest they can either like or dislike me, and I either like or ignore them in return (disliking people takes a lot of energy as well)

Same for going after what I want; if I need to speak up I speak up because I don't have the energy to just wait around for things to happen. So basically, I'm not assertive, I'm just tired as f***.

Guess so, but i'm very forceful on issues that do not suit me. I swear too much, LOL.

You love people? Screw that.

I do...and I do :p

Yes and I have noticed I am more blunt too.

Ummmm, yes! I mean, no? Maybe!

-Byshop

Same. I am way way way too self-conscious to reach that level of "not caring" (I don't really think of it as not caring, not really) and too full of self-doubt.

This is of course compounded by the fact that the world is full of about 80% of people that don't support you most of the time (not to say they are negative, but it'd be nice if they were more proactive or were like "hey good job" or were team players), and at least 10% haters, and NO ONE remembers the good you've done (especially yourself), only the bad.

And that is what drives me crazy; I'd love to not care about any of the above, to live a life where only my own opinion really mattered. I just lack the amount of self-love (I hate that term, but it's accurate) to do so.

short answer: it depends

Yes. Especially at work.

I really wish I could be assertive. I'm only assertive when I really need to be, though. For the most part, I hate confrontations because I just don't want to deal with negative energy.

Not really.

If people ask me to do or give something I don't want to I typically quickly come up with a bullshit excuse.

Depends on the situation but on the whole I wish I was a bit more assertive

Caring about other's opinions is not the problem. If you lack assertiveness because you don't want people to stop liking you, please know that if you show what you like and don't like, people will appreciate you more. Obviously don't be a dick about it like some people who call themselves assertive. But sharing what you like and don't like in a friendly way helps people form a more meaningful relationship with you. Most people want to keep your values in mind. And if you don't let them, their desire to have a good relationship with you can never be fulfilled.

As a result of this mindset I am very flexible but I'm learning to be very clear about the lines I draw.

And the way to change your behavior is just a good mindset and practice. It may not go well all the time but the exercise is worth it. In the end you are often the best solution to your problems.

Assertive no but a push over I am not. Now I have been assertive in certain moments but for the most part I handle things as they come to me.

Depends on the job.

I have had jobs where I was super outgoing, assertive and had tons of ideas of how to improve everything.

Other jobs, I had no idea what I was doing so it's harder to just jump in.

I don't think I am, but other people say I am. I think I just like to pick my battles and build political goodwill so that when I argue with the VP it carries some weight.