Anyone else with this problem (alleged narcissism)

My half-gf, half-dumped me a week ago because I was probably giving her self-esteem issues. And just now, I opened my mouth after 3 weeks to speak more than 2 sentences and everyone thought I was picking a fight; I was even smiling while talking, but my confident and domineering demeanor makes people think I'm putting them down or picking a fight with them. Even when I was in school, everyone thought I was always serious or whatnot when I was just in a chill mood. I don't have an angry scowl, no. It's probably just the way I talk, with confidence, and strength, which puts people off. Even when I joke, I joke with a straight face with a gleam in my eyes which says 'ruined yet?'. I admit I love myself. What there is not to love about myself? if I have an issue, I solve it right away. If someone else has an issue, I can easily take over their issue and solve it too. I'm eloquent af. But apparently, it's bad to be good at pretty much everything that matters to you.

Somebody else with this issue? how did you overcome it in any way other than just shutting your mouth all the time?

Do you love yourself at the exclusion of everyone else? Substitute the word "love" for "consider" in the preceding sentence as well?

If you consider the emotions of others then there really isn't a problem. Judging by your post you don't consider the gravity of your words or your compatriots wouldn't always get salty. Btw, nothing wrong with being confident in yourself. Also, it's a good sign that you have friends and a half_ex which means that people are not immediately put off by your demeanor.

Maybe just soften your tone for the sake of those around you.

I have the same problem but in an opposite sense. I joke but I look serious, but depressed or angry lol. With women they call it "RBF" (or "resting bitch face"), with guys I guess we call it "resting asshole face?" or something? I don't know...

I think people just take me serious because I don't inflect my voice in a sarcastic manner, and I'm not going to that's like putting a smiley or lol after every sentence I'm not doing that people shouldn't take life so serious lol. I don't know maybe I should be the one playing it safe and, as others have said, soften my tone?

I think as far as my interactions with people, they take me way too serious. I joke and say things and I think people take me seriously when I have nothing but love for them and others. It doesn't help that I am a supervisor and I joke around a lot at work, so people are always like "Woh, what? He is a supervisor, can he say that?" Of course I can, I'm not a manager.

People will be like "Damn dude why so angry?" or "Yo dawg, smile!" and I'm like "What? Why? Do I look upset?" It's like I was having a totally nice day until you commented on my neutral appearance...

As far as shutting your mouth? That's honestly never a bad idea. Less is more, and honestly you rarely get in trouble for not saying things.

"if I have an issue, I solve it right away. If someone else has an issue, I can easily take over their issue and solve it too."
I think you seriously need to grow up or life will punch you hard in the guts with it's real problems that can not be solved. especially not through your lone wolf attitude.
from your own words, it SEEMS like you belong to that category of ppl who believe everything is always about them. you can not have a realistic analysis of what happens around you if you stick to that idea. it puts you in your own fantasy world when everyone is either jealous of you or hates you entirely or mimics you. it can be harmful to your own self, particularly when you grow old.

Seems this thread just wants attention.

Are you on drugs?

@mrbojangles25: ''Resting asshole face'' xD thanks for sharing. I tried softening my tone actually, but then given my past record, people think I'm patronizing. I guess that solution is only feasible if you're in a complete new environment. Shutting my mouth it is, then.

how did you overcome it in any way other than just shutting your mouth all the time?

This clearly says I have a solution. And now I'm just seeing if anyone else thought up another solution in this situation. Seeking help is also a problem-solving tactic. Only idiots don't ask for help when they have an issue they cannot quite resolve, or at least not resolve in a way that they like.

Implying I don't deserve attention.

The very fact that I've come here asking for suggestions implies that I don't consider myself a lone wolf. It all depends on the task. If I cannot do it, I'll find capable people.

But one confession: I love phrasing things in a manner that anyone who does not directly relate with my question or has not thought of it before, will misunderstand everything. I don't phrase them wrongly. I just phrase them in a manner which people are likely to misunderstand. It's so much fun.

making this thread doesn't imply that at all. take a look at your own posts in the thread. this is merely your try too come off as a complicated person; a narcissist who despite other narcissists, is self conscious about this, can not be analyzed and is able to outsmart everyone. basically another try to feed your narcissism.

Well... ummm... I mean if someone can outsmart me or analyze me, he's welcome to do it. My question is simple: I have a problem with unintentionally offending people and I'm looking for suggestions.

i would say talk to the people you are unintentionally offending to see what they thought was offensive and work on that.

when you say something to a group of ppl, can you tell which and when any of those words offend a person in particular? or it is something that you find out later when you think about it or when you hear that person has been offended?

It works for one situation at a time. Like, I will offend someone, and then clear out the problem and next time, I'll have to do the same. The biggest problem, perhaps, is my straightforwardness and, what people say, brutal honesty. Not many people can differentiate between the person and the 'thing'. So, for example, when I criticize someone's work, they think I'm criticizing them and get offended. It's hard dealing with people for whom one's actions are integral to his self and thereby unalterable. My view, on the other hand, is simply to see actions as separate, and only as a report of the person's current abilities. So I naturally believe that all of this can be improved. But others always take offense.

I can tell. Only sometimes I find out later but usually, I speak with the intention of using words that give the wrong 'aura'. For example, if I wish to say that a people of a particular place are increasingly becoming mentally ill, I will intentionally use the word 'trend' to give a report of the affairs. People only know of this word in context of fashion, or fads. Whereas it actually really is the correct word to use in this context too.

This is my Wittgenstienian way of preventing people from making too many unnecessary connections which not only hinder communication but also lead to many misconceptions. Things should be taken as where they are, and where they're going. Where something is coming from is often a misleading venture. And you can see that from both of my threads too. Isn't it wonderful?

I think your biggest mistake was that you didn't hit it before she ditch you.

I actually ditched her before she ditched me but, like hers, it was a half-ditch too. Overall, it's a little complicated.

you need to zoom back and look at your social stance, if you really have full control over the aura your words create and you intentionally manipulate it for the sole purpose of enjoying your social interactions, you can probably do better. try to calculate what you achieve through such behavior and what you lose. is it worth it? I personally believe it isn't as you can achieve more in a long run if you harness that ability. it can actually make your social interactions a more complex and pleasing game that could satisfy your inner needs more effectively.

So you admit your solutions can suck ass. Well, that's a first step towards getting help for yourself.

Perhaps it is best to look back and see just how many times you entirely screwed up to understand why people get annoyed with you.

The comical part isn't that you think it's because you're confident and strong, but that you firmly believe that is how everyone else actually sees you.

Maybe, just maybe, they do not. And maybe, just maybe, it's not flattering at all.

It's different from when I unintentionally offend people. When in, say, a serious (but not formal/professional) conversation, I try my best to not offend anyone but something tends to offend. I asked some people and they all reported what I mentioned in the OP: the way I talk. And that was the natural conclusion too; since I have full control over my words and how they can affect people, something other than my words is the thing causing problems. And this is precisely why I find online interactions better than real life interactions.

The only real life conversations where I have no difficulties are strictly professional conversations, where the topic is almost always impersonal -- for both parties -- and so they understand that no one can be intentionally offensive here.

More or less.

At first, I didn't understand why people annoyed. And since I am very logical and awesome, I concluded, 'I SHOULD ASK PEOPLE!'. And I asked them. The answer they gave me is exactly what you're seeing in the OP. Like it or not, people don't like it when you sound like you know what you're talking about. It hurts their ego and if the conversation goes on, it is likely to cause them great harm. Now I can't talk as if I don't know when I actually do know. And that's the problem.

so what happens when you get involved a very technical discussion on for an instance molecular enzymology where you don't know jack about? how does that make you feel?

I just sit back and listen. And feel this overwhelming feeling of inadequacy which doesn't go away unless I've gained sufficient competency in the matter.

But it only happens under two conditions:
1. The topic is really pertinent to me or to the things I love.
2. I want recognition from the people who were discussing the topic.

Your always going to be wrong just believe in yourself but abide by the law.

You require people's acknowledgement, even perhaps to an unhealthy degree. That would lean towards you having self esteem issues, yourself. Perhaps seek therapy.

@CreasianDevaili: Well, that surely explains my introverted, largely asocial, lifestyle. I mean, just sitting in the room 90% of your time is surely the best way to get people's attention?

My guess is that it's all in your head.

Your insecurities are bleeding through. Could easily be that you've retreated to seclusion in order to defend yourself from having to question your worth because others do it every single day. Think of it like someone who thinks they should be loved unconditionally, but is not, so they fill their lives with pets instead of people since pets require so little in order to give back so much. If you were a true to the lifestyle you blurted out, then you wouldn't consider keeping your mouth shut around others a problem. You do, cause you want their love and admiration.

For a very small fee per hour, you can find this. Therapy.

People who are eloquent af do not say they are eloquent af because they are eloquent af...............

sounds like you haven't quite mastered communication w/ other humans yet.

what i would suggest is to roll all those "one situation at a times" into a big ball of experience and pull that out of your pocket to use to shape your words next time you think you're in a situation where you might be inadvertently offending someone.

@and1salttape: I don't know you from Adam, so I can only speak in general terms. This may apply to you and it may not, so don't take any of this as an accusation.

Confidence isn't a trait that tends to push people away. Quite the opposite, in fact. However, there are many traits that on self-reflection might seem like confidence but are not that will have the opposite effect on others. Some of these traits are arrogance, being overly self-centered, or narcissism.

I'll also say that if whenever someone thinks the problem is "everyone else" while everyone else thinks that person is the problem, "everyone else" is right.

-Byshop

@comp_atkins: If all else fails, that's what I'll be doing. Thank you.

Too bad, my cat ran away weeks ago and I didn't even look for it. Actually, for a whole day, I didn't even know she had run away. It was just not there and when I came to know, I was like 'okay, it happens'. So I need more pets? Thank you.

Wow. I'm impressed. My head must be computing massive stuff.

I will not deny that I'm self-centered, and also, to some extent, narcissistic. But never at the cost of anyone else. In fact, the source of my narcissism is exactly how reliable I am. As for my selfishness, I only start to show it if someone interferes too much in my matters -- so very few people actually know I am selfish.

I will consider that, nonetheless. The problem is the stark contrast between the people in the professional/academic circles and the ones in family, or friends. The former respect me, the latter are either intimidated or appalled.

This is going to be a long one but what the hell? I'm not sleeping and I need to spend some time on something other than work so here goes:

Self confidence is something that you have or you don't. It's not something that's conveyed by telling everyone how self confident you are. The more someone tells people that, the less true it sounds.

Let me give you a parallel example. I had a friend/roomate (no longer either, for a lot of reasons) whom we'll call Anne who considered herself to be quite beautiful (she'd done some modelling as a side gig). One time she came home upset by something someone said to her at the club. A guy walked up to her at the bar and said something along the lines of "Wow, you must never have to pay for your own drinks."

Now this pissed her off and upset her quite a bit. There are plenty of reasons to be annoyed at a statement like this and I'm not defending it. It implies that she's a freeloader, it pretty sexist (although likely unintentionally and the guy was just trying to come up with a more clever icebreaker than "HUR HUR HUR YOU PRURTY!!!!"), etc. She was instead upset because she was annoyed at how people didn't get that being beautiful is actually a burden and makes her life more difficult than normal people in a lot of ways. She even went to far as to imply that since I wasn't as good looking as she was that I wouldn't understand although she stopped herself just short of actually saying this.

Now what I tried to explain to her (unsuccessfully) is that her looks weren't her problem. It's the fact that this is how she thinks of her looks (and other colorful personality traits all related to narcissism that stemmed from low self-esteem) that alienated her from pretty much most people and eventually even me, her best friend since around the time we were both in high school (at least a decade). Her problem was entirely her personality.

Now beauty is subjective, and generally I would never "rate" someone I know (because it's incredibly gross) but since you have no idea what these people look like I'm going to make an exception in this instance to give you some relative idea of what we are talking about. I'd call Anne pretty, and put her at maybe a 7 to 7.5. She'd done some modeling and in good circumstances I'd say that most would probably call her pretty as well, maybe even beautiful for some. However, she didn't have a ton of friends (she'd probably say she was too discerning). I wouldn't exactly call myself a 10, so while I was utterly convinced that I was right I level set with a few female friends just to make sure I wasn't the crazy one. I asked a good friend of mine whom we'll call "Sam". Sam was/is a straight up 10. I doubt anyone who likes girls would rate her at anything less than a 9. On at least one occasion I had another female friend notice Sam in one of my club photos and ask "Wow, who is this? I'm straight but I'd totally switch for her." Sam is a very attractive woman, but on top of that she's also one of the best/nicest people I've ever known. Her basically "knocking it out of the park" in terms of looks and personality got her a -lot- of attention from guys back in the day.

I posed what Anne said to me as a "hypothetical scenario" for an unnamed friend (she knew Anne as my friend so I didn't want to mention names). Sam, who by pretty much anyone's estimation is noticeably better looking, had a very different reaction. When I told her what my unnamed friend said, her reaction was "Oh my god. You know someone who thinks like that? Why would you be friends with someone like that?" This was the reaction from pretty much every other pretty friend I posed this scenario to.

You absolutely should love yourself, there's nothing wrong with that just as if you're religious (I'm not) there's nothing wrong with say... loving Jesus. However, with either scenario, if you spend a significant portion of your time making sure that others know how much you love yourself/Jesus then you are going to severely limit your social circle. Narcissists tend to hang out with other narcissists with similar interests so they can circle-jerk each other's egos and as overtly religious hang out with other overtly religious people who also spend all their time talking about how religious they are (I'm not talking about people with deep faith in their belief system, I'm just talking about people who in any religion can't have a conversation about any topic without going out of their way to remind you how awesome they are at their religion). This extends to any belief/interest, even self-interest.

Introspection is great, but nobody (and I mean nobody) sees themselves the way that others see them because -everybody- has inherent biases. We have emotions and that's a core part of our being and it's pretty much impossible to evaluate an emotional topic without your emotions playing a part in that evaluation. Lots of people didn't really like Anne. If I asked Anne why, she would have told me that they didn't like her because they were intimidated by her looks or her intellect. However, if I asked the people who didn't like her why they didn't like her, they would have used some pretty choice words and "smart" and "pretty" would not have been among them. Now think, honestly. If I went and asked your friends whom you don't get along with why you don't get along, are you absolutely certain that their responses would be "because we are intimidated by him" or would they have some other choice negative ways to describe you as a person as being the culprit?

Even in this thread, I see a lot of you explaining what you regard as your positive traits (even defensively so). This doesn't speak to me of someone with a great degree of confidence. Confident people don't waste words trying to convince others of how confident they are. I count eleven self-aggrandizing statements in your opening paragraph alone. Now I'm not saying you don't have positive traits. You may even be right about yourself in some ways (although the more you try to tell people that, the less likely it is to be true). Anne's problem was not based on over-confidence, it was based on some incredibly deep rooted insecurities about pretty much everything (her looks, her intellect, her general decency as a human being, etc). She would often make self-aggrandizing statements, or try to explain why she was right on a topic because of some element of her background even though she never really did much with her life, literally never left the state until she was older, never started a career, and only eventually went college in her 30s to get a bachelors, only to return to her old job right after. She made things about herself often. I suspect your problem is much like Anne's and has less to do with how awesome you are and more to do with how you treat people (based on how awesome you think you are). You sound like a younger guy who's still trying to figure shit out (if I had to guess I'd say early to mid 20s at latest) and that's fine. You've got time. But if you still feel this way when you get to your 30s or 40s, you might find that you missed out on a lot in life. The smartest person in the world can still be humble, the most beautiful person in the world can still be kind, the fastest person in the world can still be patient, and the strongest person in the world can still be gentle. It's up to you to choose how you interact with other people. I learned a -long- time ago that being right all the time is not the most important thing in human interaction. It doesn't matter if you're the smartest guy in the room or not if you can't deal with other people because nobody will listen to you even if you're right.

In my job, I have to be both technical and I have to manage teams of up to a couple dozen people. When I'm staffing a project, I'll have to consider the temperament and personality of everyone I staff on a project just as much as I have to gauge their technical ability to do their job. I (and most managers/directors) will take a resource who's less capable technically but works and interacts well with others over the "smartest guy in the room but who can't help but let everyone it" every single time because those are the people I can use. If someone works to the exclusion of everyone else (even if they aren't doing it on purpose) then the project suffers for it. I've had more than a few of those guys in my time and most of them didn't last. This extends to my customers as well. Even if I have to explain something technical to someone ten times and I find it agonizing, making them feel dumb for not getting it the first time doesn't help anyone. It doesn't matter if they have trouble getting it or not. Everyone is good at different things, and if you hang out with people long enough pretty much everyone who has good intensions will show you some way in which they have value that you may have missed based on initial judgements, and the longer that takes the more those ways will generally surprise you.

-Byshop

@Byshop: First of all, thanks a lot for this post. There were many valuable lessons for me in it. But you have the wrong understanding of my personality on some points so I will clear them out.

I don't seek friends who'll appreciate me. That's the last thing I want in a friend. Throughout my life, I've sought people far above my caliber and they're the ones responsible for raising me up to this level. I seek people who shatter my self-esteem into pieces and make me give up on everything. Only then do I sit on the balcony, wonder my inadequacy, and try to grapple with the thousand year difference between them and me. And that's when I grow. The people who I can easily leave in an awe are cute, surely. But I treat them more as students than as friends. It's not to say that I don't like partying, or going out. I love that. And I call my party boys 'friends' too. But it's the difference between treatment that I wish to highlight. If a friend is fun at partying, I treat him as a fun guy. If a friend wants to learn, I try my best to be the teacher. If a friend has something to teach, I'm all ears.

But this kind of depth just seems 'made up' after all my pontificating about my awesomeness, correct? that has a reason too. I exaggerate my importance, my self-worth. And it's all in order to give a 'comical' touch to my true attributes so that people will learn to see the 'human' in those qualities. The fundamentally flawed human. I'm rather reticent. And combined with my terse but decisive statements, that only adds to my inhumane aura (inhumane, not otherworldly -- it's something not many relate with, that's all). What they don't realize is that it's my reticence that makes me more flawless than I actually am. If I were to expose more of myself, the flaws will become clearer. I definitely wouldn't do that, and would never like that. Either you have to be piercing enough to see through the exoskeleton or you don't.

All the fights (physical or otherwise) that I've had with my friends had a bigger backdrop than their actual occurrence. The most recent one being when two friends visited me when I was injured. I told them off from my door and didn't let them in. They considered it rude. I didn't expect them to take it that hard but I was ready for explaining too. I explained that, first of all, I was injured and so any correspondence would be tiring for me; secondly, since I am injured, someone else in my family will have to bother opening the door, then serving drinks or whatever, and just asking if they or I want something -- why annoy someone for my own problem? ; thirdly, I wouldn't be able to entertain them, nor they would be able to take care of me as I was already taken care of and only needed rest. All that was left for us was to have a conversation and that we could more conveniently do online. But apparently, this analysis seemed to them too artificial, too well thought out to be a real reason -- or at least that's what I conjectured. They rejected it and preferred to not talk to me for quite some time. Another instant before this one involved my entire class ganging up one guy and basically tampering with his things. Now, I should tell you that I'm an aesthetic person. It doesn't matter to me if something is immoral or not. But if something is vulgar and not graceful, it annoys me to no extent. And this plan to bully just one guy was too vulgar, too unaesthetic, too ungraceful, for me to not do anything about it. The entire event escalated to a scuffle. That incident earned me the reputation of being a killjoy.

My reasons seem 'unreal' to people. My interests too 'haughty' for them. It sounds like a classic case of 'oh I'm so special I don't belong where I am'. And it probably is. But I know that I am not special. If you're special, you're just in the wrong place. Am I in the wrong place? perhaps. But that's exactly why I want to stay here. If I don't belong somewhere, it just adds one more entry to the list of my weaknesses. And I cannot tolerate that. I don't wish to fundamentally alter my personality either. I want to retain my core and develop into something that can wade through all waters with the same ease. And that's why I want to 'fit' here despite being deemed alien. I'm not an outcast, nothing that severe here. And in no way am I unable to find good relationships here. There are just these scattered incidences, contingencies which arise due to unusual circumstances, in which I'm always left without any plan to execute, without any solution to implement. The problem itself seems irrational, and no amount of 'thought' seems to solve it. And that's why I end up with the conclusion that if thought aggravates the situation, and nor can it solve the issue, then it's better if thought itself is blocked at the mouth.

Well why not just move on and find someone that matches your personality? Don't look back, just move on.

@and1salttape: You say I'm "misunderstanding your personality" but pretty much everything you are writing in this thread is going a long way to confirm what I'm saying. You didn't come into this thread asking people to help you understand what your problem was. You came into this thread having already decided the problem was that you were too awesome for the people around you (to paraphrase) and asked if anyone else had the same problem (narcissist seeking other narcissists to re-enforce their own world view). Anne tried to do the same thing when I was talking with her. She kept trying to re-explain her position so that she didn't just sound like a horribly conceited individual (which didn't work). Similarly, the majority of people who might read your self-analysis in this thread aren't likely think "What an interesting person. I think I'd like to know someone like this" as opposed to "Wow, this guy is pretty full of himself. He sounds pretty obnoxious."

"But this kind of depth just seems 'made up' after all my pontificating about my awesomeness, correct? that has a reason too. I exaggerate my importance, my self-worth. And it's all in order to give a 'comical' touch to my true attributes so that people will learn to see the 'human' in those qualities. The fundamentally flawed human. I'm rather reticent. And combined with my terse but decisive statements, that only adds to my inhumane aura (inhumane, not otherworldly -- it's something not many relate with, that's all). What they don't realize is that it's my reticence that makes me more flawless than I actually am. If I were to expose more of myself, the flaws will become clearer. I definitely wouldn't do that, and would never like that. Either you have to be piercing enough to see through the exoskeleton or you don't."

Again, the introspective lens is always colored by our own biases. This is how you view yourself, but I doubt if you asked any of your friends if your exaggerated importance gives you a "comical" touch to make you seem more human. It's far more likely they just see you as arrogant.

You speak of yourself with a sage-like wisdom but what have you done in your life to warrant such a self-view? Again, I'm guessing you are a very young man (early 20s or maybe even late teens. The more you talk, the younger you sound). What exactly have you done in your life that leaves people that you meet in "awe" or where you regard yourself as a teacher of... well... anything?

I'll tell you the same thing I told Anne. Your problem has nothing to do with how awesome you are or aren't. It's all about how you regard other people. If you look down on them, no matter how well you think you mask it that viewpoint will come out in your interaction with them and it will make you pretty intensely dislike-able.

-Byshop

To be brutally honest, no one gives a shit what your intentions are or what's in your heart. You're forever alone there. People only see your actions and hear your words, and it is by these that they judge you.

Stop talking and listen more. Show an interest in someone who isn't you.

Bro, it's a sign of Karamat. You've become so selfless, that you're no longer even aware of your own alleged narcissism. Sorry to break it you but you can't do anything about that aura and it's going to stay with you as a testament to your Karamat.

But on a more realistic note, I was once that type of person myself. Back when I was the "smartest" person in my school (not that I asked for it or that it was a feat, just an average school with an above-average guy, me, in it) I looked like a complete narcissist. And kind of like you, I strived to be best at everything. I wasn't really a genius when it came to soccer, (even though I still excelled at my favorite sport, swimming) so I trained every weekend with a crappy ball, did a lot of sprints and stuff, with the aim of becoming better than our school's best player. And I kind of did. The thing that really helped me was my stamina because all other people around me were still kids while I was becoming an adult (final years of middle school). Now however? I don't give a damn about soccer. It's my most despised sport probably. Not to mention the injuries. Two things to learn from this story. Firstly, what was the point of what I did? I became good (in reality, again, only above-average) at something I didn't enjoy in the first place just to prove it to myself. Well I mean I was only a kid back then. Secondly, and most importantly, I wasn't focused with my life (not that I am now but things are looking a tad better relatively). So that's something I wanted to address before I explained what I did next.

I changed. I completely revoked my personality. I think I might have even been an introvert back then. Not that I hated my school or friends. I just wanted to have more me time even when at school or with friends. Now? Not so much. I would much rather be in crowded places and stuff, more active places. But not everyone needs to change.

So here's my advice. Try to smile in conversations whenever appropriate. That really helps. Then, try to act a little dumb, as if you're not in full control or fully aware of your surroundings. Like, when someone asks about that really hard trick you pulled off or that really hard math question you solved, act as if it was by accident, something you didn't quite intend or understand but eventually managed to pull off. But be professional about it. Don't make them realize you're doing it to sort of shatter that aura. Smiling and laughing it out, really helps in this regard. Or sometimes, the exact opposite, meaning expressing discontent at your own doings even though you know you did well. Imagine a scenario where I turned in an assignment that no one else had turned in. I would express discontent at my own work by saying something like “This was a waste of time. I completely wasted my time finishing this assignment. I could have done something better with my time instead.” But Imagine if I were all like “Yeah, I turned it in. It was hard but I did it.” That just doesn’t work very well. Act dumb and silly when necessary is what I’m saying. People can’t handle “facts” and “statements” very well. Socializing isn’t about “statements”. It’s about talking shit and moving on.

@Byshop: I'll take your word for it, then. Thanks.

Nah, I'm not dwelling on her. Even though she was my type, I stopped caring at some point.

Figured as much. Most of the time what I just intend to be for someone's improvement (and it really is for their improvement), it backfires. Only in the long run does that person comes to admit, 'You were right about that'. I just hope to stay away from people as much as I can but if I'm with them, I'll do the listening from now on then.

Acting dumb isn't something I've done. I only act dumb in front of people who're smarter but there the 'dumb act' is actually not really an act because I really am dumb among them.

I've seen that people don't usually care about reason in conversations. Almost all my fights with my dad broke out because I simply asked for a 'reason'.

Well, you didn't answer a single question I asked. It really seems more like you're curating the answers you're getting until you find one that you like (i.e. one that agrees with you aka the narcissists hanging out with other narcissists motif I mentioned earlier). If you're just here to find opinions that echo what you already think then nothing I or anyone else says will make a difference. As I said, but I don't really know your except from our interaction in this thread and based on that alone, I certainly wouldn't care to hang out with you nor would I guess most of the other people in this thread based on the replies you've gotten. That's another data point you should consider when trying to figure out what the "problem" is.

But while you do, ask yourself one question. Based on -our- interaction, do you think my opinion is based on me thinking that I'm talking to a kid with an overinflated ego who probably has little to offer other than them trying to desperately convince me of how confident them are (when they obviously aren't) or do you think it's because I'm "intimiated by your awesomeness?" I'm not trying to insult you, here, but you've invited analisys of your character and I'm giving you a frank and honest answer and one that isn't entirely different from how you've described yourself.

-Byshop

@Byshop: Honestly, you're projecting too much of Anne onto me and that's all I'm reading in your posts.