Is it normal for a 40year old to continue gaming

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Anurag333

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#1 Anurag333
Member since 2015 • 32 Posts

Dear gamers

Please suggest. Am touching 39 in Dec 2017. I game a lot on pc and ps4. It causes trouble at home with wife complain I am not giving quality family time

Is this some gaming mania I suffer or is it normal for gamers in 20s to carry on in 40s?

Regards

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YammiReckorrdSan

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#2 YammiReckorrdSan
Member since 2016 • 616 Posts

Well, if it causes problems for your children and wife, you should probably stop. If you made a family then of course you should support them.

Note that I don't think it is wrong to be a gamer in your 40ths. But you should mantain wisely your money and time for your family and gaming. In the end, it just a hobby.

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Black_Knight_00

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#3  Edited By Black_Knight_00
Member since 2007 • 21764 Posts

If you're actually neglecting your family then sure, you need to make some adjustments, but don't ever let anyone tell you you have to quit gaming. Age means nothing.

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Gallowhand

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#4 Gallowhand
Member since 2013 • 592 Posts

If you want to play games, then play games. They are as valid a form of entertainment as anything else. Of course if you have a family you need to work around that, but we all deserve some 'me' time. My son's an adult now, but I never stopped gaming while my kids were growing up. Indeed, playing games with your children can lead to some memorable shared experiences.

I'm middle aged and I have no intention of quitting gaming.

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mark1974

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#5 mark1974
Member since 2015 • 4261 Posts

I'm 42 and it doesn't really matter to me if it's "normal" or not. But I think it is. I wouldn't be letting my wife tell me which hobbies I'm allowed to have either but that's just me. Obviously you need to spend time with the family as well but there is no reason you should be denied the simple pleasure of playing video games.

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hrt_rulz01

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#6 hrt_rulz01
Member since 2006 • 20168 Posts

@Black_Knight_00 said:

If you're actually neglecrting your family then sure, you need to make some adjustments, but don't ever let anyone tell you you have to quit gaming. Age means nothing.

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RSM-HQ

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#7 RSM-HQ
Member since 2009 • 9372 Posts

@anurag333: I'd like to still be gaming if I'm alive at the age of 40. But honestly can't give a realistic answer, seeing as I'm not close to that number yet.

But not sure why you feel gaming needs an expiration date. Is fun outlawed in your part of the world or something?

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Archangel3371

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#8 Archangel3371
Member since 2004 • 31145 Posts

I'm 46 and I still game quite regularly so yeah I think it's certainly quite normal.

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SOedipus

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#9 SOedipus
Member since 2006 • 12393 Posts

No, sorry, it's not.

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uninspiredcup

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#10 uninspiredcup
Member since 2013 • 40537 Posts

It's wrong.

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henrythefifth

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#11 henrythefifth
Member since 2016 • 2502 Posts

Your wife does not own you, or have the right to tell you what to do with your time.

If you want to spend quality time gaming, do so, and just ignore the nagging wife.

I'm middle aged, and I've had girlfriends who complained whenever I happened to choose to play games rather than go out for the night. Solution; show the bird the door. There's plenty of fish in the sea, so no point sticking with a woman who dont like gaming.

Point is this: It's your life. Yours. Not your wife's. You are not your wife's slave.

Instead of nagging, maybe your wife should get a hobby. Do some needlepoint or whatever it is women do. Desing wedding dresses? Collect unicorn statuettes?

Anyways...

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gotrekfabian

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#12  Edited By gotrekfabian
Member since 2006 • 5771 Posts

I'm yet another 40+ year old gamer and I say that there is nothing wrong with continuing with your pastime if you enjoy it. The main issue with this type of thinking is that gaming is still seen as a childish pastime rather than simply a form of media entertainment like film TV and music.

That being said, relationships always require compromise and you should define those boundaries with your partner. Everything in moderation.

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nethernova

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#13 nethernova
Member since 2008 • 5718 Posts

Get rid of the wife.

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DaVillain-

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#14  Edited By DaVillain-  Moderator
Member since 2014 • 42919 Posts

I'm 32 and still young so with that, age ain't nothing but a number. I have seen and meet just a few folks who are in there 50's playing Pokemon and you tell me if age does matter? I think NOT. Also I been gaming since 1993 and my fist console was SNES.

@nethernova said:

Get rid of the wife.

This!

If my girlfriend can't accept me who I am, crazy girl, I'm leaving you.

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demi0227_basic

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#15 demi0227_basic
Member since 2002 • 1940 Posts

Realistically, you shouldn't have as much time to game as when you were younger. Work/kids/spousal relationships all require some of your time.

The healthiest thing to do is find out how much time you have to dedicate to your' responsibilities and AFTER that, when you get some leisure time, it shouldn't matter what you choose to do.

If your' wife has issues with a moderate amount of your' leisure time...sounds like communication is needed. Many people whom are married are incompatible as well...which, when you are married and kids are involved, really makes things hard. But the bottom line sounds like you need nothing more than moderation, and open communication with your wife. Maybe you can bring her in on it...like play her pvp, and if you win, she has to suck your' "big" finger. Eh? I do that stuff to my wife all the time...spices things up, keeps us competitive.

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JoshRMeyer

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#16 JoshRMeyer
Member since 2015 • 10701 Posts

It's a hobby with games rated for adults(Not that those are what you have to play). It's kind of the same as asking if you're too old to watch movies still.

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deactivated-5e5d7e6d61227

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#17 deactivated-5e5d7e6d61227
Member since 2009 • 619 Posts

I agree. If playing is causing issues with your family...I would also suggest stopping. To answer your question about playing games at 40...nothing is wrong with it. I am 31, have been playing since I was 5 years old. Will continue to play until I can't.

@yammireckorrdsan said:

Well, if it causes problems for your children and wife, you should probably stop. If you made a family then of course you should support them.

Note that I don't think it is wrong to be a gamer in your 40ths. But you should mantain wisely your money and time for your family and gaming. In the end, it just a hobby.

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Random_Matt

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#18 Random_Matt
Member since 2013 • 5317 Posts

Damn, only seven year difference, i'm certainly never retiring from gaming.

Family was a mistake, get somebody to adopt them.

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Dave462a

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#19 Dave462a
Member since 2015 • 142 Posts

@anurag333: it the case of finding a happy middle between the two. If you enjoy it then there is nothing wrong with it like I said it a case of finding the happy middle.

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#20  Edited By Warp477
Member since 2017 • 1 Posts

I'm 56 and still game. My wife is 59 and still games. My brother is 65 and he still games. Nothing weird about it.

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tomana

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#21  Edited By tomana
Member since 2017 • 9 Posts

if you find yourself buying a used GPU card for close to, the same or for more $$$ than a brand new one currently cost, think Mass Effect Andromeda is a really fun but challenging game to play OR, you are thinking of maybe selling off your first born to fund your next PC build then you've likely gone too far and might need to consider seeking professional help

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DudeBroPartyYo

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#22 DudeBroPartyYo
Member since 2017 • 1235 Posts

As long as you share time with your familly. When your kids move out and its you and the lady then you mainly divide time between her and other things you enjoy.

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goodzorr

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#23 goodzorr
Member since 2017 • 506 Posts

God I hope gaming doesn't end at 40! But like most people have said, key is balance. My girlfriend isn't a 'gamer' but I introduced her to Rayman: Origins and Worms Battlegrounds as games we can play together, and she is looking at Slime Rancher next I think (all free games on XBL Gold). And then on the PS4 we play things like Jackbox and she's getting more engaged in stories when she's around when I'm playing games.

Whilst I don't think she'll ever play games to the level I do, it's good to share your hobbies; you never know, your wife might be a closet WoW fan ;)

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sukraj

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#24  Edited By sukraj
Member since 2008 • 27859 Posts

@Black_Knight_00 said:

If you're actually neglecting your family then sure, you need to make some adjustments, but don't ever let anyone tell you you have to quit gaming. Age means nothing.

I agree with you mate I'm 46 and im still going strong but if he's neglecting his family then that's another matter.

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ArchoNils2

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#25 ArchoNils2
Member since 2005 • 10534 Posts

Family, work, friends and housework can take away a lot of time. I find myself not playing games for several days in a row and sometimes maybe only playing half an hour a day. Just make sure you don't neglect the things that really matter. But aside of that it is totally okay to have your hobby and some "me time" :)

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MrGeezer

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#26 MrGeezer
Member since 2002 • 59765 Posts

@anurag333 said:

Dear gamers

Please suggest. Am touching 39 in Dec 2017. I game a lot on pc and ps4. It causes trouble at home with wife complain I am not giving quality family time

Is this some gaming mania I suffer or is it normal for gamers in 20s to carry on in 40s?

Regards

It's absolutely normal for 40 year olds to play games, especially considering that functional adults with jobs are more likely than kids to actually have the disposable income to indulge in such hobbies. Same as how you don't see that many 16 year old amateur photographers dropping $2000 on cameras and then buying $1000 lenses. Making the content/products costs serious money, and the hobby wouldn't exist if there weren't grown-ass adults spending money on it.

Having said that...if it's causing problems at home then you should probably stop. One's hobbies don't take priority over one's family life. I've known plenty of couples who've had to give away their beloved family dog because of the kids. And there we're not just talking about a "hobby", it's the dog. It's practically FAMILY. But it doesn't take priority over one's child. If there's a concern over safety, then the dog has to go. If people can give away their dogs out of concern for the family, then yeah...if video games are hurting family time then get rid of the games. There's nothing wrong with a FUNCTIONAL adult spending disposable time and money on video games, but there's obviously a problem when that hobby is hurting the family.

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MirkoS77

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#27 MirkoS77
Member since 2011 • 15399 Posts

The average age of a gamer (I believe) is around 36 or so. Gaming is a bigger industry than movies. There are TONS of people, both men and women, who game at all ages. Don't even sweat it.

If your wife's upset, have a chat with her. As long as you're not glued to the TV 8 hours a day you should have some time to game. Everything in moderation though.

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omegaMaster

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#29  Edited By omegaMaster
Member since 2017 • 1437 Posts

You really have two choices, file a divorce or minimise gaming?

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PimpHand_Gamer

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#30  Edited By PimpHand_Gamer
Member since 2014 • 2950 Posts

I'm 41 yrs. The family thing is a common issue as women are typically not much of gamers nor do they understand hobbies in the same way most men do. Therefore, I don't play games a whole lot but most of the time I have opportunities to play, I just won't feel like it.

I know a lot of guys with other hobbies and their wife/g/f's complain....then again, when do they not find something to complain about? Unless your hobby is home improvement, cleaning and cooking or giving messages, then they'll complain.

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KungfuKitten

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#31  Edited By KungfuKitten
Member since 2006 • 27389 Posts

Do you stop watching movies when you turn 40?

Haha, of course it's fine. It's not about the what, it's about why and how. You love her, right? In relationships you'll have to keep giving a little, and she has to as well. Ultimately, your relationship is probably more important to you than a game. So if she isn't completely wrong and you really like her, it's best to sometimes give her what she wants, right? Not always but you know, give and take.

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raugutcon

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#32  Edited By raugutcon
Member since 2014 • 5539 Posts

@anurag333: I'm 53, one of the great things about being 53 is that now I can afford everything I want :

2 PS4 ( orig and S )

2 X1S

2 X360 ( S and E )

1 PS3

2 Wii

1 WiiU

3 3DS XL

1 3DS

1 N3DS

1 GC

1 PSP

1 PS2S

1 PS1S

1 NES

1 SNES

1 Xbox

NDS

NDSiXL

GBA

Plus a bunch of collectibles, special editions, collectors editions, several HDDs full of games.

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lamprey263

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#33 lamprey263
Member since 2006 • 37038 Posts

No, what's normal is you go through a mid-life crisis, go buy an over-priced sports car, start cheating on your wife with Tinder hookups, and end up divorced. Go ahead, be "normal" if you want.

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KOD

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#34 KOD
Member since 2016 • 2754 Posts

@anurag333 said:

Dear gamers

Please suggest. Am touching 39 in Dec 2017. I game a lot on pc and ps4. It causes trouble at home with wife complain I am not giving quality family time

Is this some gaming mania I suffer or is it normal for gamers in 20s to carry on in 40s?

Regards

Yah sure, why not?

Im 36 and while i dont game like i used to, i still have a handful of games i regularly play plus i will play two or three new games a year.

While i am "divorced" and do not get to spend as much time with my son anymore (plus he is now a teenager who is branching out on his own), i always made sure to incorporate him in my gaming and my ex actually enjoyed it as well. Sadly my current GF does not enjoy gaming as much, but whatever. Shes okay with me "working" on my PC.

You should sit down and talk with your wife about this, get her to understand that the family can enjoy gaming together. Show her studies on how it improves hand and eye coordination and critical thinking. If shes not down with that... well... you'll definitely have to lessen your gaming time.

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pizzaboy

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#36 pizzaboy
Member since 2017 • 5 Posts

Nothing wrong with gaming no matter what your age is. Maybe take a day away from the games and take the family out on a trip and do something outdoors.

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frenud02

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#37  Edited By frenud02
Member since 2017 • 19 Posts

As a hobby its ok, but its a problem if you can't deal going outside it. This is any type of addiction, age doesn't matter at this point

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WeebDragon

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#38 WeebDragon
Member since 2017 • 102 Posts

Age doesn't matter as long as it doesn't affect your other obligations and your health can still game.

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xantufrog

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#39 xantufrog  Moderator
Member since 2013 • 13393 Posts

I didn't read all the replies, but to me the answer is simple:

Games are just games (just like Chess and Cards Against Humanity) - it's perfectly normal to play them at 40 or even 60. But how MUCH you play them may be destructive. It sounds like you are playing them too often for your other lifestyle choices and family. Solutions include playing games less often (and letting them know you are going to make a serious effort to do so) and finding gaming opportunities that are inclusive of the wife and kids so that it's family oriented. Some combination of both should be rewarding and help a lot.

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Blueresident87

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#40 Blueresident87
Member since 2007 • 5865 Posts

I'll play video games in some capacity for the rest of my life.

But I won't let it interfere with other aspects of my life, either. It's about balance

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Spacegrass70

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#41 Spacegrass70
Member since 2015 • 42 Posts

I'm 46 and unmarried. I play games as my main form of entertainment. I barely watch tv and instead play games. I can safely say I am gaming more now then when I was younger. I can't see stopping until my hands won't let me.

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Yams1980

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#42 Yams1980
Member since 2006 • 3974 Posts

Divorce that hag. She has no right to stop you from having fun. If divorce isn't possible, you may have to fake your own death. But you gotta get out of this hellish relationship. You are the most important person, not her.

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NakedHeadcrab

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#43 NakedHeadcrab
Member since 2007 • 138 Posts

Being a 40-something gamer is totally normal and OK. Neglecting your own family for whatever reason is not.

Then again, I know many guys who ignore their families (their own children in particular), and they are not even gamers. The key word here is "time management", check your schedule and make room to embrace your kids and wife and also to enjoy your favorite games.

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turtlethetaffer

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#44 turtlethetaffer
Member since 2009 • 18837 Posts

About as normal as a 40 year old getting in a fight over an over paid sports team losing a game.

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Anurag333

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#45 Anurag333
Member since 2015 • 32 Posts

@yammireckorrdsan: Completely agree that need to manage money and time. And that is exactly where it takes a hit. Gaming is so addictive that I lose my weekend in games and weekdays in my Software work. Family is hit and key investments that need to be monitored also get delayed. But damm I will manage time now.

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Anurag333

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#46 Anurag333
Member since 2015 • 32 Posts

@raugutcon: I agree with your point. As you grow old then yes purchasing power increases. I can easily buy consoles or games now as compared to 10 year back. The problem is people and specially ladies still see gaming as childish activity. Imagine gaming on the Birthday of your wife and missing to arrange any surprise or gift. That is serious trouble. It happened to me as I was playing xcom2 and missed any gift. Man there was some fight.

It seems not all people appreciate the beautiful feeling that good gaming is.

But your case does make me feel that gaming is no problem and is an individual interest and for some it can be a collectible as well like you seem to have collected so many consoles

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Anurag333

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#47 Anurag333
Member since 2015 • 32 Posts

Dear fellow gamers. Could not reply to all of you but I must say after reading your comments I am fully convinced that age is a number in Gaming. Yes all people don't enjoy it but those who do, they really do it passionately. I FOR now will try to balance it between family and gaming.

Thanks so much.

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p1p3dream

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#48  Edited By p1p3dream
Member since 2015 • 1529 Posts

I think the fact that you needed to post this is a signal that you already actually realize that something is out of balance, probably even know specificallly what it is, but sometimes it just helps to hear other people give voice to the things you already know.

I also didn't really get a chance to read all the posts, so I apologize if this is redundant. So yes, age has no bearing on when one should stop playing video games. I myself am 37, and have actually had similar thoughts and questions about gaming, but the reality is a hobbie is a hobbie, and gaming has come a long way in being socially accepted.

Having said that, the problem of addiction has to be taken seriously. You might think mentioning addiction in the same sentence as video games as a bit silly, but the disease of addiction can manifest itself in many, many different ways and when it all comes down to it, it really doesnt matter what you're addicted too- be it sex, heroin, gambling, or video games, they all trigger the same chemical path ways in the brain and they all have the same capability to wreak destruction on your life. Video Game addiction is actually extremely similar to drug addiction. Both are used for escaping reality, cause you to isolate.

You example of gaming on your wife's birthday and missing the surprise party or gift is, unfortunately, a text book example of addict behavior, and everything that I've read makes me quite concerned that you are indeed struggling with addiction. A person with 'normal' chemical pathways in their brain would realize that today is their wife's birthday, and so they should stop gaming to attend. And that's the end of that action.

In the same situation, a person with the disease of addiction, may realize that today is their wife's birthday, and realize they should probably stop gaming, however, they will continue regardless even though at the same time realizing they need to stop.

The unfortunate thing, is that with real addiction, things are not as simple as just saying "I will balance my time forward." It's definitely important to acknowledge what is happening, and not making the mistake that a lot of people do which is live in denial by making constant rationalizations which enable behavior.

This will be a challenge for you, and you are going to have to address this, as someone very familiar with the issues of addiction I see all the familiar thought patterns and behavior patterns of an addict in your words. I see the familiar rationalizations for actions which shift the responsibility of blame from yourself to others. If you don't address this, and it's going to continue to create problems in your family life, your work life, social life... Take it from someone who's been there. I realize I have said a lot of things about your person and I really hope you understand that I don't say any of this from a place of judging you. I'm saying all of these things to you because I understand you. I would recommend at least talking to your wife about all of this and seeing what she has to say from her perspective about your gaming and how it impacts your life. Next step would be to talk to a doctor or counselor to get their opinion. Feel free to msg me if you would like. Take Care. - Eric

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Lavamelon

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#49 Lavamelon
Member since 2016 • 252 Posts

I am 31 years old, married and have a baby daughter. Here is my suggestion: There is nothing wrong with playing games, but just try to balance your time between gaming and family. One technique I use is place my gaming laptop on the dining table (our dining area is connected to the living room) - by doing this, I can watch over my daughter as she crawls around the living room AND play games on my laptop at the same time = Win-win. By playing games in the same area that your family hangs around, it feels like you are doing both at the same time. Talk to your family at the same time when you are playing games, it will make things better.

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Glitch-

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#50  Edited By Glitch-
Member since 2016 • 287 Posts

What are you going to do for entertainment then? Gaming is for all ages.