How to convince my dad that gaming isn't that bad?

Avatar image for aspect1234
#1 Posted by aspect1234 (5 posts) -

Let me just start off by saying that my dad has always been against gaming - I've literally never had an xbox, PS4, or any games console to play on. I'd never bothered to ask for one as I just knew the answer would be no - so I've never had anything to distract me from schoolwork

Another point is that my grades are really good - like, really good. In my mocks, I got a mixture of all 7s 8s and 9s - which are As, A*s and A**s. I've been working really hard for my gcses for the past 12 weeks, doing as much revision as possible.

However, the other day, in the last hour or so before I went to bed, my dad came up to my room and saw me playing a video game on my laptop (as if my dad would let me have a gaming PC) and he totally flipped out. Started having a go at me and telling me to give him the controller. When I asked him why, that I'd been revising all day and that I just wanted to relax, he just got even angrier and demanded that I don't talk back to him. After about 5 minutes of arguing, he just left, slamming my door behind him.

I seriously don't know what his problem with it is - he has a really short temper anyway, and he just gets so angry whenever he sees me playing games. I could understand his attitude if my grades were awful and I was letting the balance between work and relaxing slide, but its exactly the opposite of that.

I've been working for the past 6 months and have finally saved up enough money to buy the gaming PC build I want for the start of summer - but I seriously doubt that he'll let me do it. I don't think there's any way I can convince him. Also, before you ask, yes, I do have other hobbies than gaming; I do photography at the weekends, and often go out to play football/go to cinema with friends (so its not like I'm some loner sitting in his room with absolutely no friends)

What can I do to convince him? Should I just build the PC and argue that its my money and that I don't see what his problem with me gaming is? People who have been in a similar sitation and have resolved it, how did you do it?

Avatar image for kadin_kai
#2 Edited by Kadin_Kai (334 posts) -

aspect1234 marked this as the best answer

@aspect1234: You will have to really plan hard to change your dad’s mind. You need to logic him out so that he cannot disagree with your view.

I would say firstly sit him down and talk calmly. Perhaps say, “Dad, I would like to discuss gaming with you”. Adding, “I want an adult conversation and no one is allowed to be upset or angry”.

Ask your father about, balancing studying (work) and relaxing (gaming). Explain if you only study, you will not have a balanced lifestyle.

Secondly, ask him, if a person has earned and saved up his/her own money does he or she have the right to spend it however he or she wants. It is your money and therefore you are the owner and can decide what to do with your money.

Thirdly, talk about the games themselves and what you learn from gaming.

If you play strategy games, explain its harder than chess and it’s good to train your brain. For example RTS games require the player to manage many things and it’s all good for the brain.

If you play fighting or FPS games then explain how you are honing on your reaction times, cognitive skills and memory.

Explain to him, playing video games is so much better than watching TV, because you have control and your brain is active when you play.

If your father likes to watch TV, then you can explain when you watch TV your brain is passive you’re just sitting there. If you play a game your brain is totally active.

Also explain to him, gaming is a global culture and why can’t you be a part of a culture that is global. Is it better to be isolated.

I do not know how old you are, but also explain, studying, earning money, making decisions on how and what to spend is also part of growing up!

Good luck!!!

Avatar image for SoNin360
#3 Posted by SoNin360 (7071 posts) -

In scenarios like this I think the only thing you can really do is wait until you're old enough and financially able enough to move out on your own. I imagine your dad had a very strict childhood and that's probably the only way he knows how to parent.

Avatar image for Ross_the_Boss6
#4 Posted by Ross_the_Boss6 (3941 posts) -

What the above poster said. You seem like a well rounded kid, but some people can’t be convinced to change their viewpoint. You’re going to have to wait.

Avatar image for aspect1234
#5 Edited by aspect1234 (5 posts) -

@SoNin360: damn, that really sucks. Thanks for the reply.

Avatar image for npiet1
#6 Posted by npiet1 (2097 posts) -

Easy, the computer isn't for "gaming". Its for rendering, programming or what ever. You need it for educational purposes. It just so happens the computer can play games as well.

Avatar image for naazaniqua
#7 Edited by naazaniqua (8 posts) -

Games are good to make sharp your mind and increase memory capacity and helps With Fast Strategic Thinking & Problem-Solving.

Avatar image for aspect1234
#8 Edited by aspect1234 (5 posts) -

@npiet1: Honestly, I do do things such as graphic design and photo editing on my current laptop (even though it can barely run photoshop + lightroom), and a new PC that could run those things faster would be great, but I'm not sure he'd believe that aha

Avatar image for npiet1
#9 Edited by npiet1 (2097 posts) -

@aspect1234 said:

@npiet1: Honestly, I do do things such as graphic design and photo editing on my current laptop (even though it can barely run photoshop + lightroom), and a new PC that could run those things faster would be great, but I'm not sure he'd believe that aha

Can you photoshop? Convince him that the Specs on the program requirements are crazy high lol and then show him how laggy it is on your laptop (run demanding programs in the background.. My parents (though not against gaming) would of believed it. haha

Avatar image for aspect1234
#10 Posted by aspect1234 (5 posts) -

@npiet1: Yeah, I use adobe software (eg photoshop) a lot, but he's also pretty good with computers. I'll try the having loads of demanding programs in the background tip though aha, thanks

Avatar image for vaidream45
#12 Posted by Vaidream45 (1850 posts) -

Get a Switch and ask him to play one race of Mario Kart with you. That always does the trick.

Avatar image for Peasly
#13 Posted by Peasly (289 posts) -

Sounds like your a stable person. Perhaps your dad has had a bad experience with gaming or knows someone who has..?

I'd say to you to go to your dad and just say can we talk about this, ask him what it is he's afraid will happen if you start gaming. Really listen to what he's saying maybe there's a good reason for his behaviour.

I'm 44 now and have epilepsy my dad was a bit weird i the sense that he was in complete denial that i have it and insisted i just fell out of bed or i fell over. Maybe for him it was a stigma thing. When my parents split mum was fine about gaming she even played Alien (probably waaaay before your time)..!!

I'm married now and my husband loves gaming too although i spend too much time playing. A bit worried i have emotional desensitisation. Also in a lot of pain in eyebrow/eye region maybe staring at screens does this as i work on screen for work..?? (unknown)

Hope you both reach a compromise, you could always save up and move out (could take forever, too expensive on own) or go to college and share a console/PC with room mate..?

Avatar image for Dragerdeifrit
#14 Edited by Dragerdeifrit (609 posts) -

Do drugs and let him catch you, videogames won't look so bad to him in comparission after that, Lol Joking aside, listen, there are spoiled kids ok? kids that get everything they want and end up being brats, but there's also the parents equivalent of this, parents that are so controlling that their kids end up being submissive/oversensitive idiots with no experience in life, or as i call them "Uber-Normies", you can find a lot of them on twitter, Well, I don't know how old are you, but if ur in ur teens or 15-20s, ur supposed to be a rebellious prick who thinks with his dick, just buy the damn console/PC and make him deal with it, specially if you buy it with your own money.

If he kicks you out of the house for owning a videogame, then he made you a favor, you don't want to be there, go live with a fiend, girfriend or at work/office. Things will cool down after a while.

And no, this is not a joke post, (only the first sentence). I got kicked from my home at 17 bceause i was an Atheist. it's just so odd to me to hear about a parent going apeshit about something as trivial as videogames.