One of the greatest games ever made.
Food is delicious and all, but you can go without it when you are going to rescue a guy named "Super Joe". Just think about it. You're a cyborg army guy, there is an imperial army out there somewhere who has kidnapped a soldier so cool that they added the word "Super" to the front of his name. And they want YOU to go rescue him. Food? Pfft.....I'll eat when I'm done killin'.
Water may be the basis of all life, but who needs it when you have a mechanical arm that can stretch out and grab ledges, repel enemies, pull items towards you, and help you swing around like some kind of Inidana-jones-spider-man-super-soldier? The basis of all life in this game is your kick ass arm....NOT wussy water.
Shelter may be important during a storm, but during a war you want weapons. And lot's of 'em. Can shelter shoot in 3 directions? Can shelter blow up fences and walls? Can shelter destroy your enemies in a single shot? Look, when the bad guys come and beat the crap out of you because I chased 'em off with a machine gun and you were sitting there with your precious shelter and nothing else...don't come crying to me.
Clothing may keep you modest, but who needs modesty when things look this good? Bionic Commando needs no modesty, because Bionic Commando has nothing to be ashamed of. It's beautiful. The graphics and animation for it's time were incredible. A lot of time was put into making everything look as amazing as possible. It's pretty to look at. You can't help but look at it. And Bionic Commando likes that. So keep your modesty...cover up YOUR shame. Bionic Commando is going out au naturale.
Sleep is good if you're bored or boring. Luckily, Bionic Commando doesn't have that problem. Nothing is boring about this game. The action is intense and non-stop, and the level of excitement is built by the games incredible music. Easily some of the best music ever written for video games. Rich, well thought out themes run throughout the game. Making you feel like you are a hero on a mission. Doing something important. Fighting for Freedom....unlike you people who just sleep all the time.
And finally, Air is good if you like to breathe. But you'll be left breathless while playing this game, proving that you don't need air. You will stare in amazement, and exhale your last breath as the game actually uses a spot on clone of Adolf Hitler. And then explodes his head. Right in front of your eyes. What more do you need?
Nothing. That's what. So throw all that other crap away and just play Bionic Commando. It's a big huge shining example of what games should live up to. It's still good....even after all these years. If you remember playing it as a kid, go back and play it again. If you have never played it, then you have a choice. Either play the game and go on living a happy, comfortable, fulfilled life.......or don't play it. And go on suffering, dreaming of regret and begging for scraps of decency.