Xur's Ship In Destiny 2 Is Just A Big Rock, And Now You Can Get It

Everyone's favorite arms dealer in Destiny 2 has apparently been flying around the solar system on a big ol' rock for years now.

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Like clockwork, Exotic arms dealer Xur appears every Friday to offer rare gear to Destiny 2 players who have a sizable chunk of Legendary Shards available. Where Xur appears for the weekend is always a mystery, as the Agent of the Nine either pops up in the European Dead Zone, the Tower hangar, or a massive tree on Nessus that leaves players in prime position for a nearby Vex Hobgoblin to practice its sniping skills on.

So how does Xur get around the solar system? On a rock. A giant rock. That's it, that's the headline right there. As part of Bungie's 30th anniversary celebrations, players can take part in the Dares of Eternity, an event that hands out some fantastic legacy-themed rewards, and if you earn enough experience points within it, you can add Xur's UniXursal Voyager to your ship collection. Here's what it looks like:

UniXursal Voyager
UniXursal Voyager

Naturally, we have questions. How does it work? What's the mileage like on the 10.90 AU trip--that's 1.0132e+9 miles at the closest point--to Nessus? Are there Exotic cup-holders? Does Xur achieve lift-off by aggravating a nearby Cabal ship to blast him into orbit? Heck, where did the ship even come from? I've got a theory: It's no accident that Xur's latest event is taking place during the Christmas season, or as it's known in the world of Destiny, The Dawning.

The UniXursal Voyager is essentially a massive lump of coal, which in turn backs up theories that in the era before humanity's Collapse at the hands of the Darkness, Xur was an especially naughty child who was given the rock by Santa Claus and was cursed to hand out gifts for the rest of eternity. Don't believe me? Santa has nine reindeer, and Xur regularly refers to himself as an Agent of the Nine.

The Nine...it all makes sense now.
The Nine...it all makes sense now.

The math checks out here. And before you mention that there are technically eight reindeer as established in Clement Clarke Moore's 1823 poem A Visit from St. Nicholas, you have to remember that Rudolph was officially inducted into Santa's organization in 1939.

Back off man, we're experts.
Back off man, we're experts.

Even the existence of Santa makes sense within Destiny 2's paracausal framework, as the universe demands that every force within it has an equal and opposite reactionary entity to maintain balance. If you can have Oryx the Taken King stealing souls, then the idea of a jolly old man handing out presents while bending time to ensure that everyone gets a gift, isn't too far-fetched.

"All things that fall to me are sent by someone greater," Xur says in his flavor text for his rocky ride. That's the setup for Destiny 3: The Given King right there. Bungie, you owe us money for this.

While we're officially demanding answers--and royalties--from Bungie, you can check out Destiny 2's sandbox for plenty of new activities. The new Dawning gear looks terrific, and for more Destiny 2 features, check out our Dawning 2021 Recipes guide, our complete Dares of Eternity guide, and our Gjallarhorn guide on how to obtain the fabled rocket launcher.

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