WWE's Batista Beats Up Old Man On His Birthday, Because Wrestling

You have MY attention now, Dave.


Roman Reigns kicked off the February 25 episode of WWE Raw by announcing his cancer was in remission. Then, it was business as usual as Raw heavily promoted that it was Ric Flair's 70th birthday, and there was going to be a huge celebration. Patiently, the WWE Universe waited, and all the time we forgot we were watching wrestling and of course, this celebration was not going to go as planned.

The stage was set to honor WWE Hall of Famer Ric Flair, as the entrance ramp was surrounded by current WWE superstars, and in the ring were other Hall of Famers and legends. Triple H and Stephanie McMahon revealed a special, custom championship title for Flair. Wow, this is going to be one heck of a celebration. Nothing could go wrong, right?

If you're new to the world of wrestling, you were probably in for quite a shock as something did, in fact, go wrong with this celebration, which you can see in the video above. You see, Flair never came to the ring. As the cameras cut to the backstage area, we saw former WWE star and current Guardian of the Galaxy, Batista, dragging a camera man to the dressing room for Flair. The actor who plays Drax eventually came out with a beaten-up Nature Boy, dragging him across the floor.

"Hey Hunter," exclaimed Batista. "Do I have your attention now? HUH?!" Triple H ran backstage, but Batista was already gone. Obviously, this is all setting up a Wrestlemania match between Triple H and Batista, and you don't need "inside info" from WWE to see that.

Can we back it up for a second though? Before Batista laid the Smackdown® on Flair, the Nature Boy was already late to his own celebration. In fact, he hadn't even left the dressing room yet to go to the ring. So everyone is waiting for Flair, and he's just hanging out in his dressing room? I know "fashionably late" is a thing, but come on. Or did Batista beat him up in his own dressing room, then run out to grab the cameraman? If so, why did Batista make the cameraman wait outside and slam the door when he was grabbing Flair out of the dressing room? Am I thinking way too hard about this? Yes.

During Smackdown 1000 last October, there was a reunion of the wrestling stable Evolution, which consisted of Ric Flair, Triple H, Randy Orton, and Batista. When Batista got on the mic during the Evolution segment, he took a little dig at Triple H. "There is nothing... NOTHING this man hasn't done in this business," Batista said, before living in an emotional beat. "Except beat me." And that right there is the moment where WWE fans knew something was coming down the pipeline. However, being that it happened four months ago, we had already forgotten about it, but it was the catalyst for what is obviously coming, a Wrestlemania match, where Triple H will have a ridiculous, yet exceptionally awesome, entrance to the ring. As much as I tend to complain about returning wrestlers getting random Mania spots, I'm very excited about this one.

And yes, in the world of WWE, nothing goes as planned. Contract signings end with someone beaten up, weddings are interrupted and ruined by jerks, and private, backstage meetings always end up with someone getting thrown into a giant box on wheels. And I can't tell you how many times in my real life I've done something stupid like this because of my love of wrestling. I know Senior Editor Mike Rougeau is still in a lot of pain after I chokeslammed him through a table during my last contract signing for GameSpot--I'm not sorry. It's all just payback for the time he superkicked me during the middle of my wedding. This is how wrestling works, and I'd have it no other way.

Expect the Batista vs. Triple H story to brew and simmer for the next few weeks, and it will probably include Batista showing up at Fastlane, the Puddle of Mudd of WWE PPVs. Don't expect, however, this story to further itself on Smackdown, as that series already has plenty of strong storylines to work on. Wrestlemania is happening on April 7 in East Rutherford, New Jersey.

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