And bring back Jigglypuff!
There may never be another Earthbound sequel. We may have seen the last of Captain Falcon's racing heroics, and there's little hope that the Wrecking Crew will reassemble for a new adventure. Our most beloved franchises may have gone away, but they will never die. Super Smash Bros. is an interactive museum of Nintendo's incredible history. It's a place for those games we grew up with to momentarily come back to life, if only for a few rounds, as we punch Mario right in his plumber schnoz. After Nintendo announced Charizard and Greninja in today's Nintendo Direct, we got to thinking. Who are our most-wanted entrants in the next Smash Bros? Sure, they won't actually make the cut, but we can dream.
The Judge from Phoenix Wright - Randolph Ramsay
Given the close ties the Phoenix Wright series has to Nintendo, having a character from that world appear as a playable pugilist in the next Smash Bros. seems like a good fit. Phoenix Wright himself would be an obvious choice--he is, after all, no stranger to fighting games, having previously appeared in Ultimate Marvel vs Capcom 3. But I think it would be more interesting for another character to step up, one whose fighting abilities have never been previously imagined. And who better than the Judge, that grey-bearded dispenser of courtroom decisions? The Judge is a powerful, if somewhat addled, figure in the Phoenix Wright games, and that combination of gavel-slamming authority and old-man doddering should make for a unique and interesting fighter.
Wart from Super Mario Bros. 2 - Tom Mc Shea
Wart was a kindred spirit to me growing up. I, too, was force fed vegetables by plumbers, and surrounded myself with eerie-looking masks while in my barren household. So though the nostalgic tingle I receive from the myriad characters in Smash Bros. warms my heart, I've yet to see my digital doppelganger showered with the love he deserves. What better way to honor this misunderstood miscreant than to put him in the next Smash Bros. game? And he would make an incredible addition to this fighting roster. The reptilian king from Super Mario Bros. 2 draws his powers from a dream machine, so not only can he conjure subordinates such as mouser and snifit, but whatever vision lies in his head could become real. Maybe he could force his enemies to eat vegetables in a stunning reversal, so they can understand the pain he goes through.
Reggie Fils-Aime from Nintendo of America - Maxwell McGee
This is not as crazy as it sounds. The Super Smash Bros. series has always had an outlier, be it Jigglypuff, Mr. Game & Watch, or R.O.B. With the exception of Jigglypuff, these fighters represent Nintendo as a company rather than any individual brand. Reggie Fils-Aime is the next logical step in this trend. Nintendo has been working hard to put a more relatable face on their company through their Nintendo Direct broadcasts. What better way to endear themselves to their fans than by showing some self-awareness and having fun with Fils-Aime’s growing internet popularity?
I’m not alone in this belief. Last year, GameSpot reported on a Change.org petition to get Reggie into Smash Bros. At the time of reporting, the petition had only 7,000 signatures, but has since grown to just over 50,000. Fils-Aime has even commented, via a segment on The Tonight Show Starring Jimmy Fallon, that he would be willing to join the roster if Smash Bros. producer Masahiro Sakurai was OK with the idea. And, speaking personally, if you’ve ever seen Fils-Aime in person you’ll find that he is a very tall, very powerful-looking man. He could definitely hold his own against bounty hunters, knights, and even a fat little plumber any day of the week.
Psyduck from Pokemon - Shaun McInnis
Isn't it weird that Nintendo has released three Smash Bros. games, and not a single one of them has included the greatest video game character of all time? I am referring, of course, to Psyduck. This classic water-type Pokemon simply has it all. On the one hand, he's a bipedal platypus thing that suffers from crippling neuroses. That's the type of character we can all identify with. But when the going gets tough, Psyduck isn't afraid to just completely flip out and start shouting until all his problems go away. I mean, is there a better metaphor for Smash Bros., and also life as a whole? No. And that's why I urge you to vote Psyduck for President.
The Apple Kid from Earthbound - Justin Haywald
Nintendo finally released Earthbound for the Wii Virtual Console last year and Ness has been a long-time mainstay of the Smash Bros. series. But rather than bringing Lucas back, why not bring in someone completely new? Someone you wouldn't expect: The Apple Kid.
His ingenious inventions help you get through some tight spots in your adventure and they'd also make for interesting and unique attacks. Throw down some zombie sticky paper to freeze your foes in place. Call in a Mach Pizza delivery to knock foes out of the way and serve up some life-restoring snacks. And use the eraser to eliminate obstacles and get rid of other characters' weapons with a well-timed counter.
The Orange Kid may be neater (and maybe he could be an alternate costume?) but the Apple kid knows how to take care of himself in a pinch. And like several of Smash Bros. fighters, he looks deceptively weak. Plus, I really want to stoke the fire of bringing even more Earthbound content (officially) to the West.