Free Portal-Themed Sitting Simulator, Aperture Desk Job, Is Available Now On Steam

Valve's handheld Steam Deck is arriving in the hands of eager fans now, and to celebrate Valve has released what it describes as a "free playable short" called Aperture Desk Job to walk users through the device's various features.

Aperture Desk Job is available now for free on Steam, but note that it can't be played with a mouse and keyboard. The game requires a controller, and, ideally, is made to be played on the Steam Deck. If the name Aperture is familiar, that's because it's the same fictional company featured in Valve's Portal series.

What do you do, exactly, in Aperture Desk Job? Like at any good desk job, you sit. Players will take on the role of an "entry-level nobody" on their first day at the job, where they'll be briefed on the Steam Deck's controls and features, though Valve notes that it is not "nearly as boring as that sounds."

As you might expect from a Portal-related project, everything about Aperture Desk Job is more than a little tongue-in-cheek, including the game's description on Steam. Valve reminds players that this is not Portal 3 and to lower their expectations, while describing Aperture Desk Job as reimagining "the been-there-done-that genre of walking simulators" and putting "them in the lightning-spanked, endorphin-gorged world of sitting still behind things." Valve also uses the game's product page as an opportunity to pitch a screenplay about time-traveling identity theft, in case anyone out there in Hollywood might be interested.

Valve co-founder and president Gabe Newell recently signed and delivered Steam Decks to lucky customers living near the Valve offices, some of which seemed more than a little confused by the whole situation. GameSpot's Steam Deck review said the handheld gaming device "delivers on its promise of high-performance mobile gaming with impressive game performance and intelligent hardware design."