Destiny 2 Sparrows Keep Getting Dumber (In A Good Way), Here's The Latest

The Crab Cycle is available for Bright Dust, so take advantage before it's gone for a year.

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Destiny 2's premium cosmetic items have really come into their own lately, especially when it comes to vehicles and Ghost shells. This year's Solstice event in particular has seen the introduction of some phenomenal new Sparrow bikes for you to ride into battle. For this year's summertime Solstice event, we've got a new challenger to the throne for best cosmetic vehicle: the Crab Cycle, a motorcycle shaped like a crab. The good news is, you don't even have to spend money to obtain it.

In a somewhat disappointing development, we've confirmed that the Crab Cycle is not faster moving sideways than it is going forward.
In a somewhat disappointing development, we've confirmed that the Crab Cycle is not faster moving sideways than it is going forward.

The Crab Cycle launched in the Eververse Store last week for 800 Silver, or about $8. But if you skipped it then, you're in luck: the Crab Cycle is available this week for 2,500 Bright Dust, an earnable currency. That means you don't have to pay real money to nab it. Event-specific cosmetics only come around once a year, though, so it seems very likely that if you don't claim a crab by the end of Season of the Haunted on August 23, you'll be stuck waiting a whole year for another chance.

Like the spider-shaped Skitterscare sparrow, the Crab Cycle has articulated metal legs that move around as you ride your space magic hoverbike. Catapulting it ahead of the Skitterscare for best and most ridiculous sparrow, however, is the fact that it has claws, both on the front (where you can't see them while driving, unfortunately) and on the back (where you can see them while driving, even if their location makes them an affront to nature). The Crab Cycle is also a nice alternative if you're one of those people who doesn't deal well with spiders.

Riding a giant spider into battle to strike fear into your enemies.
Riding a giant spider into battle to strike fear into your enemies.

The Crab Cycle joins a growing list of excellent, ludicrous personal transportation vehicles that appear in Destiny 2. If you're not familiar, those personal vehicles are called "sparrows"--they're quick, maneuverable jet bikes that look more or less like the speeder bikes from Return of the Jedi, hovering a few feet off the ground.

Whether the Crab Cycle is the best sparrow is a matter of personal opinion, especially because it faces stiff competition. In the "jet bikes that look like goofy animals" department, there's the Skitterscare, of course, as well as the winter-themed Polar Vortex.

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And while the Crab Cycle is at least in the running for best summertime vehicle, to truly claim the crown, it must face the king of all sparrows: the Micro Mini.

Crab's pretty good but come on--just look at this thing.
Crab's pretty good but come on--just look at this thing.

The final week of Solstice has brought one more excellent addition to the Sparrow race, however: the Quadracycle, a freakin' bumper car. It's available for 800 Silver this week, or for Bright Dust starting next week.

Fully expect to get debilitating whiplash when you run into your teammates' Sparrows while riding this.
Fully expect to get debilitating whiplash when you run into your teammates' Sparrows while riding this.

I've already purchased the Crab Cycle because I'm a sucker for the kooky in Destiny 2. For all the world-endangering, extinction-level alien threats that exist in the game, it has a decidedly nonsensical side, what with all the immortal superhero players running around, doing dance emotes at once another. In an excellent move, Bungie has even released lore entries featuring alien adversaries discussing the madness of watching Guardians do sparrow tricks and dances as they massacre their enemies.

If only this crab bike could clamp Hive Thralls with its claws, it'd be perfect. Oh well--maybe next year.

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