Behold, The $100 "Active Gaming" Sock From Puma

Socks are the classic bad holiday gift, but what if they were also prohibitively expensive? Enter the Puma Active Gaming Footwear sock, an absurd example of capitalism run amok that you can wear on your feet. Next time you ask "where we droppin' boys?" your feet could be swaddled in luxury.

That luxury costs about £80 through the Puma store, or about $100 USD--though they aren't available to purchase in the USA, where we appreciate our rugged foot freedom. These monuments to excess promise a "knitted upper" for comfort and breathability, a "low rubber outsole for grip," and a custom fit. All of these features suggest Puma believes video gaming involves a lot of athletic foot movement, so we're not entirely sure what they think gaming actually is.

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But wait, there's more! It also features three "modes," by which they mean features. Sock features. Those include a medial wrap-up grip ("SEEK mode"), lateral wrap-up support ("ATTACK mode"), and heel wrap-up stability ("CRUISE and DEFENSE mode"). So basically, these are just different weaves to support different foot parts.

If you happen to live in the UK or Australia, you can order the socks now with free express shipping. And if you do, and then you rocket to the top-tier of Fortnite competitive play and win millions of dollars, make sure to thank your socks in the acceptance speech to teach us a lesson.