My eyes... THEY BURN! An appropriate reaction to this retena searing game, which is quite mediocre
Shooting Nazis is fun.
Shooting endless genetic Nazi clones that look exactly like the one before is fun.
But shooting so many genetic Nazi clones that look exactly like the one before is dangerous to one's sanity.
And so I learned with Wolfenstein 3D for the GBA.
Seven dollars at Gamestop. Used. I said, "This couldn't hurt" it's a classic. But my previous thought of the GBA Doom's graphics are "kinda tingly to the eyes" soon evaporated as my eyes ERUPTED IN A SEARING INFERNO OF PAIN AND AGONY.
Good lord, there is NO way how ANYONE can play this past an hour, as I'm sure their eyeballs would be charred masses screaming for the merciful pleasure of air and sight.
So please just let me tell you, that if you expect at least something that is halfway visible, your dreams are shattered.
As you could probably tell, the graphics are horrid. Although the quality isn't that bad, it's just the absolute blurriness that will turn this into some twisted game of I Spy.
"Is that a Nazi or a Dog?"
If they had simply shipped this as "Visually Impaired Guy Who Shoots Nazis" it would have been even more accurate than its originally title of "Poopenstein" (as me and my colleagues have affectionatly and immaturely named it).
But how does the rest of the game compare? I mean, you're going to be playing something before your retenas begin to disintigrate won't you? Well, I can't say the gameplay is much better.
If the kind of game that intrigues you and captivates your attention is simply mowing down hordes of the same exact enemies OVER and OVER, then you'll enjoy this. If not, then I give you thirty minutes or less to throw the game in the bin.
And I don't even need to mention the sound. It's horrid, but that's what you'd expect, based on a game released in 1993 (alas, it was actually good back then) the most you get is the digitized voices of the unfortunate Nazis.
But after you hear "Miene Leiben" for the five hundreth time you'll soon grow tired. (What kind of exclamation is "My life" to yell after you've been shot in the head anyway?)
So... should you get this? If you're desperate for some nostalgic Wolfy 3D gameplay, yeah sure, it's better than lugging it around on your PC. But if you want a good game?
Good lord no.