LORDCOSMOS' WARIOWARE REVIEW: "out with the old, in with the nuhhhh"
LORD COSMOS' WARIOWARE REVIEW COMMENCING NOW:
"warioware is a game for the ages"
Warioware is a simple concept; wario, mario's drunken theiving scheming doppelganger/nemesis, has decided to scam the world by creating videogames. Thus, warioware is born. LORD COSMOS concurrs. Warioware has a lot going for it, here's the jist:
-100+ weird, 4-second minigames, topics ranging from boogers, skateboarding, and hot dogs to apple-picking, toilet runs, and full-body bathing costumes. they are all 16-bit or less, and all can be completed in the time it takes to fart. You usually only need one button, the A button, otherwise controls are as simple as you think they are. -the games are all fun, and hilarious in their own way.
-the game has surprisingly good cutscenes and music. -great, charming character designs for each of the different stages. -presentation is also top-notch. each stage has a different, unique HUD and lifebar. One might be a boombox, another a cellphone, another a radar scanner. Pleasant frames for pleasant, bite-sized old school. This is all the superficial stuff, what it means to you, the consumer, is fun games, and lots of them. But I, LORD COSMOS, think it's appeal goes far beyond simple fun and games. I, LORD COSMOS, argue that warioware is "a game for the ages". A fully-charged GBASP with a copy of warioware belongs in every last emergency kit, every time machine, every dire situation where all but the last vestiges of videogaming have all been destroyed, warioware is, a videogame of videogames. It is a videogame's videogame. Warioware is also a kindof symbol of all that is good at nintendo, it is full of weird homages to past nintendo titles; zelda, mario, warioland (wario's equally awesome series of 2D platformers), excitebike. I also see a weird connection with early weirdo indie developers in the 70's, ATARI 2600 kindof guys. I see a kindred spirit in wario and say, the head of atari during those days. Warioware is probably the only game i can think of where game developers are an active story/gameplay element. It breaks the fourth wall, in all the right ways. Due to the nature of the games as well as the pacing i would also argue that Wario stimulates brain function in a very specific way. Being that each of the games is so different from the last, as well as them being in such rapid succession, i would argue that Warioware Inc. Mega Microgame$ stimulates fluid thinking, creative reasoning, and problem solving intelligence. That said, all the games are superbly easy. Warioware is something special.
Warioware is high art. Warioware can be seen as a kindof memoir for an older era, an era being eclipsed by newer, shinier games of today.
Warioware belongs in your glovebox, in your bathroom, underneath your mattress, next to your gun, etc. Warioware will put many, many smiles on your face. When all else fails, when you've given up hope on gaming, when your in a bad place in your life and you don't know where to turn, put down that bible, and pick up Warioware. You won't regret it. 9.5/10 A-
(for minor hits to the replay value due to the overall shortness of the games.)
(but this is endearing, highly playable bite-sized game candy.)
IN SUMMATION
WARIOWARE, INC. MEGA MICROGAME$:
"WARIOWARE, LIKE NO OTHER GAMES TO SPEAK OF, breaks the fourth wall of gaming, is a parody, an homage to its subject matter, itself, videogames. If you fancy yourself a videogamer, one as serious as LORD COSMOS himself, pick this one up. 9.5/10
"a game for the ages"